This is a question based purely out of curiosity on my part, which stems from a number of incidents our family has experienced/witnessed in regards to young adults and/or college-aged people.
Now, I don't feel that I hold my kids up to any super high standards. They have had their chores through the years, so all of them can clean a bathroom, gather the trash, vacuum, and make their beds. They can wash and fold their clothes, unload a dishwasher, pick out produce, and make (very, very) simple meals for themselves before they leave home. (I have never once had them prepare a meal for the whole family as I have heard of others doing.) How often they choose to utilize those skills once they are on their own is up to them, but they do have the ability to perform them. Both of my oldest kids, who are now away from home, have said that we expected more from them than what they feel many of their fellow students and friends experienced while at home, but are also now grateful that they were given these skills after witnessing some of the following:
Exhibit A: When my son moved into the dorms with his first-year roommate, the guy he roomed with didn't know how to make a bed. (Those are my son's words. He did not imply his roommate was too lazy to make the bed.) Rather than ask for help or attempt to figure it out, he just slept on the plastic mattress directly, covered with a blanket. (Yes. His parents had sent him bedding.)
Exhibit B: In his second year, this same son was in a dorm apartment with three other guys who were expected to clean their own bathroom and common area. This was met with varying degrees of success as some had never had to clean a bathroom before.
Exhibit C: My daughter roomed with a girl during one of her off-campus projects where students were housed in apartments with kitchens. The roommate took frozen chicken, placed it in a glass pan, covered it with water, and put it in the oven. My daughter over-heard her talking to a friend on the phone where she was "complaining" about needing to eat raw chicken because it was taking too long to cook and she didn't want to wait any longer. She ate the half-baked, semi-poached drumsticks. This was a roommate who did not seem open to "help" or suggestions in a number of different areas and was dangerously oblivious to basic food safety.
Exhibit D: My daughter was apparently the only person on her dorm floor who knew how to iron, so when people needed items pressed, they sought her out. They appeared amazed that she had somehow magically acquired this skill. Yes, I understand that we live in a world where most items are permanent press and irons are becoming passe, but IF you own clothing that does require ironing, then you should potentially know how to care for those items or have the foresight/ability to afford to take them out to be pressed.
Exhibit E: My daughter moved to another state to do a 6-month co-op through school. She was once again living in an apartment, caring for herself. When talking with one of her friends, the girl exclaimed, "But what do you eat????" and seemed completely beside herself when my daughter said she just cooked for herself.
Exhibit F: Just the other day, I was at Target in the cleaning products aisles. A mom was there with her college-aged daughter and the two were shopping for supplies. As they went down the rows, the mom would grab a product like a stain remover and then say to her daughter, "Now if you get a stain on your clothes, spray this on right away." They would then move to the next product, and as the product went into the cart, a description of how to use it followed.
It was this last display which prompted me to toss this/these question(s) out to the masses...
How concerned are you with providing your kids with basic life skills before they leave home? Do parents possibly assume that these things should be easy to figure out and not realize how much their kids potentially struggle when they do get out in the world? Was there anything that you wish you had learned to do before you started off on your own?
(If it matters, I feel like I fell somewhere in the middle. I didn't have a lot of experience in running a home when I moved out, so I had to work at some of the things, but I also felt like what I hadn't done much of was relatively intuitive for me and I was able to figure it out on my own or, for things like cooking, progressively develop my skills through recipes and trial and error.)
