home school? what would you do?

[cabanafrau]

Have you read anything the OP has said? Have you looked at any of the context of the comments you quote? Maybe read it again. The entire issue is the child is miserable and is asking her to be pulled out of her school - because of the social situation there. People pick the school situation that fits their family. Some can't or don't want to homeschool, and so they send kids to a brick and mortar school. That is the way things are, not a judgement about them.

This is silly. You are cherry picking parts of what I am saying, ignoring the things that give it any context and arguing that YOUR anecdotes are more valuable. You can look up data about teen suicide and schools playing a part if you would like because it's out there. Yes, it is completely valid to bring up that school mis-match contributes as there is data for it and the OP is trying to decide where her child should be. No, I've never said there aren't also problems with homeschooling, and I've been very up front that there can be. The "homeschoolers can be social" was in response to a post about homeschooling meaning losing out on social activities, and was to point out that homeschool does NOT mean being locked in a room alone. Schools are far from the only place to get social interactions.

Yes, if someone is talking about how many people struggle and have a difficulty with a situation so it's ok to look at choices, someone popping in to say "my family was so happy and had the best experience" IS rubbing it in that they lucked out when the other didn't. I don't know why you seem to want to pick at me. I have no problem with schools. Some people have a rough time and need help finding out what their choices are. Clearly you don't actually want the OP to hear from anyone who has had similar experiences to her.

I see, you're correct, I did mix up the daughter's preference over the course of the thread, which I understood originally and somehow crossed up with something I subsequently read. I do think her preference has to be carefully listened to, and what's at the heart of it understood clearly. Exactly what's behind the therapist's opinion also should be thoroughly understood. If the basis is truly rooted in the wellbeing of the daughter the recommendation should factor into the plan for a way forward. There's no upside to homeschooling a kid if that type of situation isn't suitable for her. (I'm not saying it's not suitable. I'm not saying homeschooling is bad. I'm saying I don't understand the reasoning for such a strong recommendation.) If it's simply anti-homeschool it carries no weight as far as sorting out a solution -- however I would absolutely pursue professional ramifications against the therapist as I outlined above if she's not advocating in her patient's best interest and simply imposing her bias without regard to her patient's needs.

Bottom line is still the same, a solution has to be sorted out to provide this girl a great education and offer her sufficient social outlets to satisfy those needs. That could be homeschool. That could be her current school if things can be properly sorted out and she's willing to branch out her activities and involvement to open up other social channels. That could be a fresh start in a different school. Hopefully a good solution can be found quickly and OP's DD can be happily on her way through HS.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

The OP already asked this question back in November

Thread 'Homeschool and high school'

Nov 6, 2024

DD is having a hard time at school, not just with the school work, but with a lot of "friend" drama. It's very hard to see her so upset and sad all the time. I have gotten her in to dance as I feel like maybe if she makes a friend outside of school that will help. She is also going to be volunteering at our local YMCA in the child watch area. I'm just wondering if it is too late to homeschool. Is there anybody here that has decided to homeschool in the high school years? Thank you so much!

• hulagirl87
• Replies: 31
• Forum: Community Board

• 

In that prior thread the OP said their daughter asked every day to be homeschooled and now in this new thread the same thing. 5 months later...

Sometimes situations change, sometimes you try something and hope it works out but clearly there's a whole lot more than just the question of homeschool or not. I'd probably argue that the question of homeschool or not is really irrelevant considering all the information disclosed.

With so many people already intimately aware of the OP's daughter's situation where the OP is located at I don't think those of us on the DIS can provide advice that is actually appropriate, not any more. I only hope that another thread doesn't eventually get created months down the road for no other reason than I would feel immensely for the daughter even more than I already do.

 

[mistysue]

I sympathize with the OP and her daughter, I do realize that not all have an amazing experience as a teen, but you seem to think that’s the majority. It’s not.

I am sincerely happy for you that you enjoyed high school. There is a reason that the media representations in movies, television and books commonly show an experience most people do not desire to go back to, and it's based on the typical issue that those who are happy while there are in the minority.
Take this Yale survey showing 75% of HS students are not happy there -
https://news.yale.edu/2020/01/30/na...eelings-about-high-school-are-mostly-negative - "“Overall,” said co-author Marc Brackett, “students see school as a place where they experience negative emotions.” "
There is a reason articles are titled like this one, and it's not because people are gung-ho about staying in the experience - https://www.theodysseyonline.com/enjoy-high-school-while-it-lasts - the majority of teenagers spend their high school years yearning for it to be over - the clicks, the social drama, the random and inconsistent crack downs in authority.
People tend to move on and gradually think of it more fondly, but it's more common that people are not happy while there. That wasn't you, and that is great, but your experience is not in the majority.

I see, you're correct, I did mix up the daughter's preference over the course of the thread, which I understood originally and somehow crossed up with something I subsequently read. I do think her preference has to be carefully listened to, and what's at the heart of it understood clearly. Exactly what's behind the therapist's opinion also should be thoroughly understood. If the basis is truly rooted in the wellbeing of the daughter the recommendation should factor into the plan for a way forward. There's no upside to homeschooling a kid if that type of situation isn't suitable for her. (I'm not saying it's not suitable. I'm not saying homeschooling is bad. I'm saying I don't understand the reasoning for such a strong recommendation.) If it's simply anti-homeschool it carries no weight as far as sorting out a solution -- however I would absolutely pursue professional ramifications against the therapist as I outlined above if she's not advocating in her patient's best interest and simply imposing her bias without regard to her patient's needs.

Bottom line is still the same, a solution has to be sorted out to provide this girl a great education and offer her sufficient social outlets to satisfy those needs. That could be homeschool. That could be her current school if things can be properly sorted out and she's willing to branch out her activities and involvement to open up other social channels. That could be a fresh start in a different school. Hopefully a good solution can be found quickly and OP's DD can be happily on her way through HS.

You're right - and I really hope the OP gets some good options and makes some move to help her daughter. I would guess the right answer would be enrolling in a different school, or working with some sort of "at home" public or hybrid homeschool program. This would allow her to gather SO MUCH information about what is at the bottom of the troubles. At that point, it would also be obvious whether homeschooling would make sense for this individual. I really never would have thought homeschooling would be good for my kids and have been so surprised by all the options we have, but even that can be night and day different even between counties.

 

[LuvOrlando]

this is where I feel overwhelmed. How do I know what curriculum to follow. How do I keep her on track with her learning making sure she's getting the credits she needs. I have reached out to the school twice asking for help with this and no response. There are so many programs out there and I have no idea what I'm doing.

Does your school district have a virtual program? Many do now and so there is often guided learning from home. There are also a great many Charter Schools that are all over communities now that specialize in the arts and some STEM programs as well.

Maybe google your school district and the term virtual school and also your school district and the term charter school, I would be shocked if there is nothing. DOn;t fret over paying for it, these schools know exactly what to do and how to do it, they will assist you. Maybe go onto Nextdoor or something and check if there are homeschool social groups, when my kids were young there were homeschool kids who were on their sports teams, other parents will likely assist.

I hope you and your child are doing ok this weekend, hang in there because there is always a solution.

Also you can start something and change if it doesn't work, don't let fear stop you from taking a step to break whatever terrible cycle your child is in right now. Is it possible your child can help you look up options?

 

[MamaMermaid]

OP: are kids actually being mean to her or has she just not found her group of friends yet? Not saying it isn't hard but there's a difference...

 

[rigs32]

I've read the whole thread (some comments in more depth than others), so I apologize if I missed something.

OP - What were things like socially for your daughter before this year? Did your family recently move? If not, did she ever have friends? If she used to, what lead to the breakdown of those friendships? Is there really no one in school that has been nice/kind/friendly?

 

[kyton]

What were things like socially for your daughter before this year?

This is what I found interesting too. Obviously schooling is different all over the place but all 3 of my kids had a friend group from our equivalent to your junior - middle - senior school levels. They waxed and waned over the years, some friends dropped out of the circle and new ones came in.

Where are the friends your child had when she was younger - has she reached out to them? Another poster commented that possibly she is wanting to be part of the “cool kid” group at the loss of making real friendships. There is a difference between people bullying and simply not wanting to be friends.

Bullying is harmful and in that case homeschooling or changing school may be the best option should the initial school not take action. Simply not wanting to be friends IMO is more about resilience - possibly this is what the daughter’s therapist is maintaining as the best course of action.