Having more children? Nervous about change?

[Hillbeans]

Ok, I know this can be a very personal topic and i'm sure i've asked before, but my DH and I have an almost 3.5 yo and we're at the point where we'd like to have # 2.

I'm a little nervous about all of the changes, and the complete change in routines and our lives. I'm excited about the thought of having another baby, but i've already got my hands full with my DS and my DH (who sometimes is more work than my son )

Anyone else in a similar position? What have you decided or what did you do?

 

[liznboys]

As a mom of 3 boys (3rd one was just born in March!!) I just wanted to tell you to go for it!!!! Yes it is a big change, but let me tell you that watching your children play together and interact is one of the best things in the world!!! It is GOOD change, exciting and magical, a great adventure. My boys are the best of friends, they relate to each other like no one else can! They'll be closer to each other growing up than anyone else, including dh and I. And I love that! Good luck!!!!

 

[KristiKelly]

Making the decision to have #2 was much harder than #1. We were having sooo... much fun with our "only child", but knew we wanted more - but when??? I wanted them to be 2 years apart & DS was already 18 monthes. Well, we talked about it for a couple of weeks & realized - just do it. We knew our lives would change & it is a huge change, but it's wonderful. Our kids our 2 year 7 monthes apart - DS & DD. Sometimes they play so great together & other days they just wake up hating each other (well not really). It's really alot of fun. Now, if I could just talk DH into #3, that's been alot harder for me.

 

[piratesmate]

DD came along (unexpectedly) 10 yrs after DS. Were we worried about the change in routine? You betcha! DH refused to acknowledge it - he even said, on the way to the hospital, we're not really doing this again?!?!?!

For us, the decision had been not to have any more due to medical concerns & we'd already lost a son before DS was born. I'd always wanted more, but..... She's such a delight, I couldn't imagine not having her!! I'm glad the decsiion was made for me!

Life without change is boring & dull.

 

[HollyJoy]

After my first daughter was born, I KNEW I wanted to have another, but had the same feelings that you're having now. It's very normal to feel that way. But rest assured, everything will be fine when you have another. You'll actually be surprised at how you won't remember what life was like before the second child! LOL

 

[mickeyboat]

Decision was made for me for DD#2 as well. DD#1 was only 4 months old when I found out I was PG (my little houdini). I often wonder when we would have tried for a second child. I tend to over-analyze things and felt a lot of guilt when DD#1 was little so who knows.

That being said, my DD's are great friends, they will always have one another, I really enjoy seeing them interact. There is always enough love to go around. I saw go for it!

Denae

 

[Shannon G]

DH and I are expecting DD#2 in about 6 weeks - our girls will be 22 months apart. Although I know it will be a big change, and I am nervous about the prospect of caring for two young children, I never questioned having a second child. DH and I did not want DD#1 to be an only child and, since we are both close in age to our own siblings, wanted the same for her. Plus, I figure that by having them close together, they will be able to enjoy similar things as they grow up - we can take them to WDW without worrying that we'll have to wait until DD#1 is older so that DD#2 can also enjoy it!

I say go for it - you will never feel completely ready anyway. Plus, think back to when you decided on #1 - didn't you have similar concerns about all the changes in your lives then, too? You make adjustments, and pretty soon it simply becomes your new routine.

 

[Hillbeans]

Originally posted by Shannon G

I say go for it - you will never feel completely ready anyway. Plus, think back to when you decided on #1 - didn't you have similar concerns about all the changes in your lives then, too? You make adjustments, and pretty soon it simply becomes your new routine.

LOL - that's a wonderful point! I know we're ready, financially and emotionally, and my DS would love a baby brother or sister.

 

[maci]

I am wrestling with the same issue...only we are trying to deceide if or when we should have number 3!!
I always said I wanted 3...I grew up as an only child and wanted a big family. But gosh, there are MANY days that 2 seems to be enough!! For instance today...I am afraid to take a shower for what they will have done when I get out!

DD is 3 now and I think, if I wait too much longer they (she and DS5), will be too old to even play with another baby.

PLUS, mom and dad just said they were taking us to WDW next feb., right when I was planning on being pregnant!!!!!

Ahhh, what to do????

 

[liznboys]

Originally posted by maci
I am wrestling with the same issue...only we are trying to deceide if or when we should have number 3!!
I always said I wanted 3...I grew up as an only child and wanted a big family. But gosh, there are MANY days that 2 seems to be enough!! For instance today...I am afraid to take a shower for what they will have done when I get out!

DD is 3 now and I think, if I wait too much longer they (she and DS5), will be too old to even play with another baby.

PLUS, mom and dad just said they were taking us to WDW next feb., right when I was planning on being pregnant!!!!!

Ahhh, what to do????

We had a VERY hard time deciding to have our 3rd. We went back and forth like you wouldn't believe!!!!!!!!!! Well, of course now we have our little Benjamin and THANK GOD we decided to have a 3rd. I didn't realize it before when we had just the two, but our family didn't feel complete before. NOW with 3 kids it just feels more like a family! It's hard to explain really. I really think that if you are on the fence about having another child you need to think of it this way: You will never regret having the children you have, but you MIGHT regret NOT having the ones you didn't. I can't stand the thought that 10, 20, 30 years down the road, we may feel regret that we didn't just go for it! We are on the fence about having a 4th now....... lol

 

[Beth76]

The same thing happened to me. I always thought I would have 2 kids. Well, my first turned out pretty good (he's a great sleeper, he's very healthy and has a such a sweet personalitiy). We were almost afraid to have another one because what if this one turns out to be a demon. The big deciding factor for me was family. Our families are very small. Once DH's mom is gone, I doubt we'll ever see anyone in his family again (not that we would want to). I only have one sister and my son loves his cousins, but they have a HUGE family on the other side. So I figured, my son really could use someone else his age in the family.

We debated back and forth for so long. Actually, it was just me, DH wanted to stay at one. My feeling was that if we didn't have another one, I would always "think" about one. I knew that once we had two, I wouldn't want anymore.

Now DS (just turned 3) is SOOO excited about having a baby brother. We have about 6 weeks left until this one is due. He's already asking me when we can go to the hospital and pick up the baby.

So, I say, if you're really thinking about it, then you should do it. There are always going to be second thoughts. But, you know, in the end the good will outweigh the bad.

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

After I had my first DD, I couldn't imagine having another. I didn't want to have them too close together because of monetary reasons. I wanted to wait until we were more stable financially. Then when she was almost five, I just knew I was ready to have another. I always wanted to give her a sister or brother, but wan't ready until then. Now she has a little sister and they are a joy to watch. Remy always wants to play with Holly (6mos) and I am glad she won't be an only child like I was (I hated it, but some people might prefer it). Things just sort of work out, so if you are ready, I say go for it.

 

[4greatboys]

I just wanted to wish you luck. Its hard trying to decide when the next kidlet should come along and then even when you decide sometimes mother nature doesnt agree with you, lol.
I love having 4 boys but some days I pass yourself coming and going. My 2 youngest are 26 months apart so the past 2 years have been very tiring but getting better every day.

 

[Bob Slydell]

We have an almost 4 year old and can't wait to give him a little brother or sister. For medical reasons, we've needed to wait, but we've certainly been planning (financially, emotionally, etc.) for the hopeful expansion of our little family.

 

[liznboys]

Originally posted by 4greatboys
I just wanted to wish you luck. Its hard trying to decide when the next kidlet should come along and then even when you decide sometimes mother nature doesnt agree with you, lol.
I love having 4 boys but some days I pass yourself coming and going. My 2 youngest are 26 months apart so the past 2 years have been very tiring but getting better every day.

Deena-How old are your boys? My 3 are 4.5, 2.5 and 2 months. Do you plan to have anymore? Do you get people asking the "will you try for a girl" question? We do.........

 

[mt2]

I have twin girls (9). I vowed that I wouldn't have anymore after them. Twins do not run in our families. I was told that the chances for me having twins again would be slightly higher than before. Plus I had a hard time with the insurance. It took TWO years before they would believe me that I had twins. They thought the hospital was trying to double bill them because when the hospital submitted the paperwork they put Twin A on both bills. UGH!!! Sorry I digress.
When they were three, we thought well maybe. I did get pregnant but lost the baby. We tried for 2 more years without success. I didn't go to the Dr to find out why. I figured that was the way it was supposed to be and I was happy with my little family.

At my DD's 6th birthdya party I decided it was time to go back to work. Well guess what? I got pregnant that week. YES kids it can happen in one time. When I went to the Dr, I asked him how this could happen only once. I'm 36. He looked at me and said, "UH, You have other children, RIGHT?"

My DD'd were almost 7 when DS was born. They love him to distraction. They wanted to hold, play, feed, and sleep with him. No girls he is not a toy. He is a baby!!
It is a challenge everyday. Going to WDW is a new adventure now. But hopefully when we get old and grey, we have three homes to rotate through. 4 months at each kids house. LOL

Happy Thoughts to all,

mt2

 

[snoopy]

Our two kids are 3 1/2 years apart. For a long time I was on the fence whether having a second was the right choice.

The first emotion for me, before we decided on a second child, was how could I love another child as much as I loved the first? I was in the early stages of labor with Drew and crying because I knew Luke's life, and ours was never going to be the same.

Well, here it is years later and I have absolutely no regrets. Having the second one taught the oldest how to rise to the occasion. Having a baby in the house seemed to help him to mature and to understand that other people/babies have needs too. And the second one is such a big love, such a sweet natured little boy, a perfect compliment to his more intense older brother.

Its not a decision to be arrived at lightly. Having a second/third/fourth/etc. baby to the mix is a whole lot more than another mouth to feed. The dynamics change. My boys are very close, but fight like cats and dogs -- sibling rivalry is not something you as a parent have to contend with when you have an only child, obviously. Still, though, the joys of having the second one far outweigh any negatives for most people.

Best of luck to you hillbeans!

 

[Celluloidgal]

People always say going from 2 to 3 is the hardest. I don't think so, going from 1 to 2 was the hardest for me! It was all that, "Could I ever possibly love another child as much as I love this one?!" You know what...you do!

I have DS(10), DD(7), DS(4) and DS(3). About 3 years apart (then a surprise!!!) And I love them all with all my heart.

Oh, we did get the comment when we were preggers with #3, "You have a boy & girl, why do you want more?" Argh!

Only you & your beloved can decide when your family is complete. Good luck, however you decide