Fat Girls

[robinb]

How is fat derogatory? Isn't it just a description? The description wasn't heifers or cows. I admit I am playing devil's advocate and I wouldn't want to see that on my receipt, but then I am also not fat.

So, you'd be OK with "scrawny girl"?

 

[lovesmurfs]

Whatever happened to using table numbers to describe the check for the customer?

 

[mmackeymouse]

Here's the deal: and I know some of you will scoff at it, FireGuy and Sam, but weight discrimination is VERY real. Both for underweight and overweight, but more so for the latter.

If you are overweight, sure you may not be refused service, but you may be treated rudely and less like a person than a normally sized patron. That's discrimination too.

I know personally from experience (being with friends and family, as I am not married) that if you go to a bridal salon, and you are larger than average, you ARE treated like a second class citizen. They don't try to help you, they don't pay attention to you.

Look in any department store plus size section. Designers don't want to put forth the effort to make cute clothes for bigger women. Most of what you find is frumpy, homely clothes.

Television is full of fat jokes or cruelty to fat people. Bald jokes to a lesser extent. Blondes also to a lesser extent. Compare the number of jokes about a person being overweight to the number of jokes commenting on someone being underweight, I think you would find a pretty wide discrepancy. Even the TV show "Mike and Molly" is a mockery, as it eludes to the fact that overweight people should/will only end up with other overweight people, as if an overweight person couldn't possibly attract a normal sized person.

When celebrities are not thin, they are fodder all over magazines and late night shows alike. Kirstie Alley was treated horribly when she was at her largest. Gorgeous yet plump singer Adele was barraged by rude messages when she gave birth, among which was Joan Rivers indicating that the baby weighed 68 pounds.

Even people who may not be vocal about it or expressly cruel, have inner judgement about overweight people- that they don't have self-control, that they sit around eating a bucket of fried chicken at every meal, that if they don't like being fat, they should just do something about it. When I see a skinny person, I never think, "That girl needs to eat" as I know enough skinny people that eat a ton to know better than that. By the same token, if I see an overweight person, I don't think to myself, "Indulgent slob."

Many people are treated badly because of their weight; maybe they just wanted to bring awareness to the fact that weight discrimination is real to them, and hurtful.

 

[newt2]

If you read the thread, you'd see where Sam81 said the bartender shouldn't have put that on the check... in fact, it's even in what you quoted. He (she?) also said earlier the bartender would be fired if it happened in their restaurant.

Was it worth complaining to management about? Absolutely. Should the bartender be disciplined? Of course (and that might include firing). But going to the media? What do they want? Should the restaurant be closed?

Word of mouth is a very good tool to use when you have a problem. The goal isn't to get someone to close the business, it's to get prospective customers to spend their money elsewhere. It's 100% fair and used all the time.

 

[dakcp2001]

The fact of the matter is this, when you run or own a business your income depends on not offending or making people angry. If you insult your customers, they will not be your customers. Sometimes you even have to kiss a little behind. It is business and no one is going to make a lot of money in a food establishment by calling their customers fat. Rude and unnecessary. ANd more importantly, BAD FOR BUSINESS.

 

[LiveYourLife]

So, you'd be OK with "scrawny girl"?

Or Anorexic Girl? Or Scarf and Barf Girl? Or Breezy Gap Girl?

 

[Kennywife]

Here's the deal: and I know some of you will scoff at it, FireGuy and Sam, but weight discrimination is VERY real. Both for underweight and overweight, but more so for the latter.

If you are overweight, sure you may not be refused service, but you may be treated rudely and less like a person than a normally sized patron. That's discrimination too.

I know personally from experience (being with friends and family, as I am not married) that if you go to a bridal salon, and you are larger than average, you ARE treated like a second class citizen. They don't try to help you, they don't pay attention to you.

Look in any department store plus size section. Designers don't want to put forth the effort to make cute clothes for bigger women. Most of what you find is frumpy, homely clothes.

Television is full of fat jokes or cruelty to fat people. Bald jokes to a lesser extent. Blondes also to a lesser extent. Compare the number of jokes about a person being overweight to the number of jokes commenting on someone being underweight, I think you would find a pretty wide discrepancy. Even the TV show "Mike and Molly" is a mockery, as it eludes to the fact that overweight people should/will only end up with other overweight people, as if an overweight person couldn't possibly attract a normal sized person.

When celebrities are not thin, they are fodder all over magazines and late night shows alike. Kirstie Alley was treated horribly when she was at her largest. Gorgeous yet plump singer Adele was barraged by rude messages when she gave birth, among which was Joan Rivers indicating that the baby weighed 68 pounds.

Even people who may not be vocal about it or expressly cruel, have inner judgement about overweight people- that they don't have self-control, that they sit around eating a bucket of fried chicken at every meal, that if they don't like being fat, they should just do something about it. When I see a skinny person, I never think, "That girl needs to eat" as I know enough skinny people that eat a ton to know better than that. By the same token, if I see an overweight person, I don't think to myself, "Indulgent slob."

Many people are treated badly because of their weight; maybe they just wanted to bring awareness to the fact that weight discrimination is real to them, and hurtful.

And "just go on a diet" or "just push yourself away from the table" doesn't always work if you have issues like thyroid troubles or PCOS. Some who have weight issues may always have problems and it's not always known why. Before I got on seizure medicine, I was a size 12. I will never be that small again because it's either take my medicines and get treatment or don't and live in he**.

 

[Princess Dolly]

So, you'd be OK with "scrawny girl"?

I really wouldn't care, but that wouldn't describe me either. Words are words and I am what I am. My self worth is not based on my body image.

 

[Princess Dolly]

Or Anorexic Girl? Or Scarf and Barf Girl? Or Breezy Gap Girl?

OMG! This is hilarious. It said fat, it didn't say girls who eat at a trough or something like that.

 

[sam_gordon]

You don't call seeing fat girls on a receipt being treated differently? I sure do. When I dine out, I don't pay for the opinions of the staff on my figure or outfit. Only that my meal is delivered hot and fresh to my table like everyone else.

They seriously need a new identifying system. Every restaurant I've ever eaten at always has the tables numbered.

No. I dont think the were treated differently. Yes, the bar tender used an inappropriate term and let them find out he did. That doesnt equate, IMO, to be ing treated "different".

 

[JaneBanks]

I really wouldn't care, but that wouldn't describe me either. Words are words and I am what I am. My self worth is not based on my body image.

It would be if it were constantly reminded how "bad" you are, how "ugly" it is, how "lazy" you must be, because of how you look.

 

[sam_gordon]

Here's the deal: and I know some of you will scoff at it, FireGuy and Sam, but weight discrimination is VERY real. Both for underweight and overweight, but more so for the latter.

If you are overweight, sure you may not be refused service, but you may be treated rudely and less like a person than a normally sized patron. That's discrimination too.

I know personally from experience (being with friends and family, as I am not married) that if you go to a bridal salon, and you are larger than average, you ARE treated like a second class citizen. They don't try to help you, they don't pay attention to you.

Look in any department store plus size section. Designers don't want to put forth the effort to make cute clothes for bigger women. Most of what you find is frumpy, homely clothes.

Television is full of fat jokes or cruelty to fat people. Bald jokes to a lesser extent. Blondes also to a lesser extent. Compare the number of jokes about a person being overweight to the number of jokes commenting on someone being underweight, I think you would find a pretty wide discrepancy. Even the TV show "Mike and Molly" is a mockery, as it eludes to the fact that overweight people should/will only end up with other overweight people, as if an overweight person couldn't possibly attract a normal sized person.

When celebrities are not thin, they are fodder all over magazines and late night shows alike. Kirstie Alley was treated horribly when she was at her largest. Gorgeous yet plump singer Adele was barraged by rude messages when she gave birth, among which was Joan Rivers indicating that the baby weighed 68 pounds.

Even people who may not be vocal about it or expressly cruel, have inner judgement about overweight people- that they don't have self-control, that they sit around eating a bucket of fried chicken at every meal, that if they don't like being fat, they should just do something about it. When I see a skinny person, I never think, "That girl needs to eat" as I know enough skinny people that eat a ton to know better than that. By the same token, if I see an overweight person, I don't think to myself, "Indulgent slob."

Many people are treated badly because of their weight; maybe they just wanted to bring awareness to the fact that weight discrimination is real to them, and hurtful.

I'm on my phone so I'm not going to edit your quote. I get there's weight descrimination. Never denied it. Do we have any information they were treated DIFFERENTLY though? And yes, its possible the bartender and possibly the manager "looked down" on them. But you cant regulate peoples thoughts.

 

[JaneBanks]

No. I dont think the were treated differently. Yes, the bar tender used an inappropriate term and let them find out he did. That doesnt equate, IMO, to be ing treated "different".

I would love to see other receipts from different customers. If a tall, bald, Jewish man was described as "guy with blue shirt" and a very pretty woman described as "lady with hoop earings", then yes, they were treated differently. They were treated with disrespect.

Unfortunately, we'll most likely never know so I don't know if we can say they were treated differently or not.

 

[palmbeachmom]

OMG! This is hilarious. It said fat, it didn't say girls who eat at a trough or something like that.

i AM fat, and it wouldn't make me mad or hurt my feelings if someone labeled me that way at a restaurant... as long as it didn't say "fat, lazy" or "fat, messy" or any other negative thing that people associate with fat people, simply BECAUSE they are fat. i did a lot of print modeling when i was younger, so i know i have a fairly attractive face, and that didn't get lost as a i got older and gained weight.

i just wonder if a skinny person with an unattractive face would be offended if they were labeled as "butt-ugly girl" or "dog-face". i'm guessing the answer would definitely be yes!

 

[LiveYourLife]

OMG! This is hilarious. It said fat, it didn't say girls who eat at a trough or something like that.

I agree with you 100%, but we are finding out that this does and has happened before, so who is to say that something even more derogatory than "Fat Girls" hasn't been used, and it just hasn't been caught (yet).

If this happened to me, I would bring it to the Managers attention. If the Manager offered to comp a part (or all) of my bill, I would politely decline, but you bet your biscuits I will not leave that bartender/server a gratuity, nor would I return to that establishment again. Additionally, would I recommend the establishment, if asked about it? HECK NO!

 

[FlyingDumbo]

I think the top of "Jeff's" last paycheck should be labeled "IDIOT"

 

[Princess Dolly]

It would be if it were constantly reminded how "bad" you are, how "ugly" it is, how "lazy" you must be, because of how you look.

You don't know how I look or have looked, or what I have heard through my life. I've been fat, too skinny and in between. I grew up where I stuck out in a crowd. I learned to love how I was different instead of hating it. It's called acceptance and when you get there a lot of things change.

 

[robinb]

I really wouldn't care, but that wouldn't describe me either. Words are words and I am what I am. My self worth is not based on my body image.

But "lollypop head" got your dander up on the Kelly Ripa thread .

 

[MickeySP]

The bartender or waitress probably meant to erase the descriptor before printing the receipt and didn't. Lesson learned. I suspect the manager will tell the staff not to use anything even remotely derogatory in the future.

It is quite obvious though that these women weren't embarrassed because if they were they wouldn't have gone public with the incident. I do love when someone claims they are embarrassed by a company (for any reason) and then goes to the press or social media and shines a much bigger spotlight on themselves than would have been so otherwise. It is just so adorable.



Very true. Ironically many of the people who describe themselves as "Pooh Sized" are morbidly obese, much more so than Winnie the Pooh. I'm starting to think it is more of an insult to Pooh to be lumped in with some of them then the other way around.

So you should just sit down & shut up when you feel insulted or spoken to derogatorily. I think it should be the waiter who should be embarassed. I hope noone in that persons family is ugly, ethnic or God forbid FAT!

I am betting by bringing to the social media they correct what seems to be an accepted policy by this establishment. You cannot tell me that a manager hasn't seen these type of references before. I would lay odds they are more sorry they got caught than they did it in the first place.

As a former Fat person, I would be incensed if a member of my family or friend was referred to in this manner.

 

[Princess Dolly]

But "lollypop head" got your dander up on the Kelly Ripa thread .

It did. I don't think lollipop head and fat are the same kind of descriptions. I would equate lollipop head to heifer.

ETA: I agree it was not the best choice of words, but I also don't see why all of the outrage.