Ever not opened gifts?

[kwelch10377]

I wish my cousin didn't open gifts at her baby shower yesterday. There were about 50 people there and it took 2 hours to get through everything. Her nieces were trying to "help", so they ended up standing right in front of her so you couldn't see most of what she got anyway and she was trying to shout thank you to people from across the room. It all just seemed pointless and a waste of time. I would have rather her be able to use that time to visit with everyone who came, thank them for coming and then sent a thank you card fo the gift.

 

[SLP958]

So you're going to punish the child because the family doesn't open gifts at the parties? I can think of many valid reasons (I mentioned one above) that a family might choose not to open gifts in front of everybody.

No punishment for this child. He is a kid of plenty. One less gift would be no matter to him.

I just feel like it would be nice for them to take the time to open what people bring. To me it shows appreciation.

In fact, some family member insisted their gifts be opened and were taken inside for their gifts to be opened. Everyone else stayed outside. So, obviously some others at the party felt the same but were vocal about it.

Oh, we'll to each his own. Just wondering if this was common. We had never seen it before.

 

[joanne312]

We went to a 1y/o bday party a few months ago where gifts were not opened. I thought it was kind of strange. We also never got a thank you note from them. Makes me wonder if our gift was somehow misplaced or something. At least if they open it in front of me I know it was received.

 

[Schmeck]

I prefer parties where the gifts are not open. A previous poster mentioned how the kids get out of control, and you don't get a chance to see who gave it before the others surround it like hungry piranhas... I'd rather play more games with the kids, feed them cake and ice cream, and send them home!

But since my 'kids' are now 19 and 22, not too concerned with the present opening etiquette.

 

[laurajetter]

Through the years of going to DS8's friends' parties I have noticed this has been happening more and more. When it first happened I was taken aback a little but then I noticed it kept happening at other parties as well. I don't mind it so much now since I've gotten used to it.

 

[jrmasm]

No punishment for this child. He is a kid of plenty. One less gift would be no matter to him.

I just feel like it would be nice for them to take the time to open what people bring. To me it shows appreciation.

In fact, some family member insisted their gifts be opened and were taken inside for their gifts to be opened. Everyone else stayed outside. So, obviously some others at the party felt the same but were vocal about it.

Oh, we'll to each his own. Just wondering if this was common. We had never seen it before.

A thank you note shows appreciation.

And in my opinion forcing gift opening is rude.

 

[SLP958]

A thank you note shows appreciation.

And in my opinion forcing gift opening is rude.

I thought the forced opening was also rude. While I would have preferred mine to be opened also, I would never have insisted.

I will update if I get a thank you note.

 

[Gorechick]

I think it's smart to not open all the gifts in front of everyone. When you are having a large party with family or friends, I think it's more important to spend time together rather than watch someone open all the gifts. With kid parties, they get impatient and gifts get ripped open, gift receipts lost, cards misplaced, and other kids crowding and grabbing at stuff. I've seen it all. I think it's better to open gifts privately and definitely acknowledge guests later with a thank you note, email, or phone call.

 

[momto2girls]

My children have attended both types of parties. Sometimes presents are opened there and sometimes they aren't. I greatly prefer the types of parties where gifts are NOT opened during the party.

 

[minkydog]

I have a couple of friends who don't open the gifts until after everyone leaves and I'm not only fine with that but wish more people did it that way. I really have no desire to watch anyone of any age open presents.

I agree and I especially agree when it comes to 2 year olds. It really puts a lot of pressure on a toddler whether he is the giver or the receiver. I have been to birthday parties where the other children got into the presents and played with the toys, broke some things or stole them. I have also been to parties where the birthday child was overwhelmed and starting having a full meltdown. Nobody want's to hear "I hate that present!" but 2 year olds have no filter (and neither do some older kids.)


When my kids were younger, I liked to hold back on some presents. Getting a pile of toys in one sitting is like eating chocolate ice cream--too much at one time isn't a good thing. Too much is too much. Better to string it out over a few days or even weeks, IMO.

 

[kirstenb1]

When my son turned 7, we didn't open gifts at his party. It was at a bounce place, and after the bouncing times, games, cake and pizza, there wasn't time. He did write each (all 21 kids..."invite one or none" school policy) a thank you note, however. My daughter opened gifts up yesterday at her party (at home), some of the kids liked watching it, but there was a lot of squirming around. I ended up giving each child their goody bags so they'd have something to keep them occupied. Personally, I'm thrilled when the gift opening is skipped at baby showers. I find it incredibly boring watching a grown woman open up gift after gift.

Same here, with Chuck E Cheese type parties, it's easier to not open the gifts at a loud, crowded place.

Our neighbors have a HUGE extended family, so for their son's birthday, they have easily 40 guests at their home. We had to watch him open each gift; it was agony!!! I know why they did it---lots of the guests were great aunts and uncles and had to travel a couple of hours to get there, so of course they had to open all the gifts then.

But for a small party, I think the other kids enjoy seeing their gifts opened.

 

[minkydog]

Our neighbors have a HUGE extended family, so for their son's birthday, they have easily 40 guests at their home. We had to watch him open each gift; it was agony!!! .

Ugh. That IS agony. I hate watching people open present after present after present.

When my FIL was alive he relished opening presents...his way. Pick up the present. Shake the present. Sniff the present. Shake the present again. Painstakingly remove every piece of tape. Admire the wrapping. Remove the wrapping. Fold the wrapping. Shake the present again. Carefully lift a corner. Try to guess the present. Carefully lift another corner. Remove lid. Slowly remove tissue. Fold tissue. Lift gift out of box. Admire present. Show present to everyone. Put present back in box. Put paper in box. Put bow on his head. Tell everyone about the present.

...Pick up next present ...

One Christmas it took him 6 hours to open his presents. I thought I was gonna lose my mind!

 

[It'sOffToDisneyWeGo]

We have attended parties that have done it both ways. I really do not mind. I do like to get a thank you especially when I did not see you open the present. This way I am sure that you received the gift. The hardest part is sometimes my DS4 will pick out the gift and wants to know if his friend likes it but does not get a chance to see a reaction.

 

[TanyaS]

I like seeing gifts get opened at kids' parties, and always had my children open their gifts when they were little (with plenty of pre-party coaching about the proper things to say).

But OP - you may discover, as I have, that opening gifts gets much less interesting in a few years. My boys and their friends pretty much just exchange gift cards - not as interesting to watch. "Oh, Game Stop!" "Walmart!" "Game Stop!" "Target!" I no longer care when they open the gifts, although they do have to write Thank You notes before spending the gift cards.

 

[branv]

For a small party, with a handful of kids, I say no problem. But it's not often that I haven't seen some kind of melt down at a kid's party during gift opening time -- usually from the younger set (or younger sibling of guest or birthday child) who can't understand why THEY can open a gift, or play with the gift. I've even seen grown adults get sniffy b/c a child didn't act excited enough by their gift .

Personally, I like not having to sit through gift openings. If it's that important to you to have your gift opened in front of you for whatever reason, and they don't typically do this, just drop by some time before or after the party to give it to them privately.

I will also say that I rather like what my DBro does when I mail his children a gift. He takes a video on his phone of them opening it, being excited, playing with it. I cherish those videos and I have them forever. I kind of think that would be a neat thing to do if you prefer your children to open gifts in private -- at the minimum one should always always send a detailed, personal thank you note. But a video sent via phone or email is pretty cool

 

[Help Please!]

I have one son- he just turned 2!

His first birthday was at a pavilion by the beach. Not close enough to go back and forth to the beach during the party, and it was HOT. We payed for the water to be turned on (baby pool fun sprinklers, etc.) and it wasn't for the first 45 minutes...so we were all done by the time we ate lunch and had cake! I made an announcement that we weren't planning on opening all of the presents, but if anyone wanted to see our son open theirs, they were welcome to bring it over.

His 2nd birthday...was 2 weeks ago, at our house. I think others are right..when you're not at a place that is charging you per hour, you feel a bit more relaxed. We were having a swimming party, got a bit of a late start due to rain, and we did dinner/cake, then did presents...a few people left before presents, but most were happy to stay and watch...I did say that everyone with young kids was welcome to let continue playing and swimming, lol, I know it's hard for 1 and 2 year olds to watch another kid open presents for 30 minutes!

So...I'm up for either, and honestly not offended by others choices! Just happy to be invited! If they're really close friends, I'm sure I'd be there early helping to set up/ clean up, so I could see the kid open the present then.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I would say parties here are about 50/50 at best for those that open. We have done both depending on the party location. Mostly family, we tend to open them, mostly friends....we wait. What we have done a few times, and works really well is to have DS open each child's gift as they arrive. They get a minute or two to see their gift appreciated and no one has to sit though a ton of gifts. When gifts have not been opened at one of our boys parties, we would take a picture of our child with the gift and include it in the thank-you note we send.

When the boys were little, and still now for the 6 year old, we grab and hide some of the toys and bring them out later then they are not so many new things. Last year DS got over a dozen lego sets so we put a bunch of them up and pulled them out on snow days, sick days etc!

 

[JessicaR]

Gifts are rarely opened at mud parties here, especially the younger set. Doesn't brother me a bit! My kids are used to it.

OK - what's a mud party?

Same here though, when the kids were little now they aren't anymore but anyway nobody opened the gifts at the party.

 

[amcc]

I have 4 kids and a huge family and we go to LOTS of parties. I've never seen kids open birthday presents at the party. It just really isn't done here at all. Some very few baby or wedding showers open the gifts towards the very end of the party but it's not the custom. Maybe a geographic or cultural thing.

 

[aprilgail2]

OK - what's a mud party?

.

I was wondering the same thing- I have never heard of a mud party!

Here the gifts at kids parties don't get opened if its out at a party type venue, they take and bag up the gifts for you as the people come in.
What I really HATE is when people have a house party and don't let the kid open the gifts at the party. I bought the gift and would really like to see the child open it! I can understand if its out at a place you only have for 90 minutes and each part is timed by the party place but come on, at a house party they should open the gifts, especially if its a family party.