Ever not opened gifts?

[SLP958]

Yesterday, we attended a birthday party for a family friend's son. He just turned two.

They did not open the presents. I found this strange for a child's party. My kids love watching present opening.

I do realize there are some hazards to present opening with kids but that's just part of it to me.

I have attended a few showers where presents were not opened but I really did not care for not opening them at a kids birthday.

My son was disappointed because he didn't know if the birthday boy likes our gift.

Have any of you seen this trend?

 

[Handbag Lady]

Yesterday, we attended a birthday party for a family friend's son. He just turned two.

They did not open the presents. I found this strange for a child's party. My kids love watching present opening.

I do realize there are some hazards to present opening with kids but that's just part of it to me.

I have attended a few showers where presents were not opened but I really did not care for not opening them at a kids birthday.

My son was disappointed because he didn't know if the birthday boy likes our gift.

Have any of you seen this trend?

I hope it doesn't become a trend. I find it somewhat rude for the EXACT reason your son is disappointed. One shouldn't expect gifts at a birthday, ergo one should be delighted in receiving any. Showing that delight is part of the fun, isn't it?

 

[Conservative Hippie]

We went to a 2 year old's birthday party a few weeks ago and they also did not open gifts. The only confirmation I got that he actually received the gift was a photo the mom posted on FB of her son in one of the t-shirts I gave him.

I think it is a trend and I don't like it.

 

[SLP958]

Come to think of it. This child's mother did not open gifts at her baby shower. Maybe a no more gifts for this family is in order.
I will admit I was also disappointed. I like to see little ones excited.

 

[scoutie]

When my son turned 7, we didn't open gifts at his party. It was at a bounce place, and after the bouncing times, games, cake and pizza, there wasn't time. He did write each (all 21 kids..."invite one or none" school policy) a thank you note, however. My daughter opened gifts up yesterday at her party (at home), some of the kids liked watching it, but there was a lot of squirming around. I ended up giving each child their goody bags so they'd have something to keep them occupied. Personally, I'm thrilled when the gift opening is skipped at baby showers. I find it incredibly boring watching a grown woman open up gift after gift.

 

[dyna]

1 yr when DD was turning about 9 yrs old I'd requested NO GIFTS because I knew a couple of her friends she wanted to invite would have a hard time bringing a gift an I was fine with it. To me birthday parties should be more of a time to celebrate growing older an enjoying each others friendship an LOVE.

Any who all the girls except for the 2 from the poor family brought gifts. We did not open gifts that party because I did not want to make those girls feel worse than they already did.

In fact the girls mother was so late picking the girls up that DD had to wait till the next day to get her new bike from DH an I.

 

[ktaggie]

We no longer open gifts at birthday parties for our kids. If a child wants It done we do it after everyone else leaves and just a few remain. We found that it works well and is very common here. Sorry if it offends anyone.

 

[lorimay]

Yesterday at my grandsons party, he drove his parents nuts till he could open his presents.

 

[scoutie]

Come to think of it. This child's mother did not open gifts at her baby shower. Maybe a no more gifts for this family is in order

So you're going to punish the child because the family doesn't open gifts at the parties? I can think of many valid reasons (I mentioned one above) that a family might choose not to open gifts in front of everybody.

 

[mjkacmom]

Gifts are rarely opened at mud parties here, especially the younger set. Doesn't brother me a bit! My kids are used to it.

 

[RadioNate]

I'm the opposite. I don't like the opening of gifts in front of everyone. Too much potential when they are young for things like "I already have this" and "this isn't what I wanted."

I guess I've seen that happen one too many times in the 3-4yo set.

I was just at a 4yo party where other children were "helping" opening presents. Moving stuff around, you couldn't keep track of who gave what.

I fully expect thank you notes in both situations however I think they are absolutely necessary if they open the gifts in private.

 

[FireDancer]

I have a couple of friends who don't open the gifts until after everyone leaves and I'm not only fine with that but wish more people did it that way. I really have no desire to watch anyone of any age open presents.

 

[mjkacmom]

We went to a 2 year old's birthday party a few weeks ago and they also did not open gifts. The only confirmation I got that he actually received the gift was a photo the mom posted on FB of her son in one of the t-shirts I gave him.

I think it is a trend and I don't like it.

My oldest is 17 - its been like this here since before she was born!

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I'm the opposite. I don't like the opening of gifts in front of everyone. Too much potential when they are young for things like "I already have this" and "this isn't what I wanted."

I guess I've seen that happen one too many times in the 3-4yo set.

I was just at a 4yo party where other children were "helping" opening presents. Moving stuff around, you couldn't keep track of who gave what.

I fully expect thank you notes in both situations however I think they are absolutely necessary if they open the gifts in private.

We taught our kids at a young age about gift-receiving etiquette and were right there to be sure to discourage rude behavior of children "helping" even if their own parents weren't.

I like gift opening. IMO, it's partiif the fun, unless the guest list is so over the top long and opening the gifts is too time consuming.

 

[hlg22]

For the little kids, I think it makes more sense not to open the gifts at the party. I don't have kids, but go to lots of b-day parties for several of my close friends' kids, who are ages 1-3. Most of them are held at gymboree type locations or park pavilions that the parents book for a set period of time (set activity followed by cake) so there's not a lot of extra time to spare, and it's not unusual for there to be 50+ guests. A one or two year old does not care about opening gifts, other than perhaps to play with the wrapping, and it would take a significant amount of extra time to open all the gifts, not to mention the likelihood that gift items would get separated from the cards in all the chaos.

To me, opening the gifts at the party makes sense for kids who are old enough for it to be a lesson on saying thank you and being gracious when they get something they already have/that they don't really like - say ages 5/6 and up. I would still have no problem with gifts not being opened at the party if it was a particularly large group.

Thank you notes of course should absolutely still be sent if gifts aren't opened at the party.

 

[jennylyn_b]

My dd loved opening her gifts at her first bday. She played with each one same fit her second bday. I prefer to see gift openings. But we stick to small size parties so that helps

 

[Shanna-like-Banana]

I'm on the fence about this topic.

I have 3 kids, 13,7&6.

On one hand you pay such a premium to have parties at party places, why waste your "time" watching the gifts being opened ?

For as much as your paying for your party, you should spend it on the activity you paid for (bounce-house, rolling skating, bowling, etc)

What I see at a lot of kids parties is the "mosh-pit" effect where either,

A) as soon as the guest arrives with the gift, the birthday kid rips it right open, and the parents dont seem to care

B) The kids sit on the floor, and start to squish and push and all the "I can't see" crying starts. The kids in the 2nd row sit on their knees, the kids behind stand cause they can't see, the kids keep leaning in closer and closer. somebody falls on another, somebody cries and gets their fingers stepped on.

There was a party a few months ago, where one of the kids in the front actually ended up with his head in between the legs of the birthday boy.

We usually try to make a fun game about it. We use a rope and 2 chairs.

We lay the rope out a few feet away from the 2 chairs in the front. The guests sit behind the rope. The birthday kid sits in 1 chairs and whomever gifts he is opening sit next to him in the other chair. The GUEST is the center of attention, the GUEST gets to see the excitment in the birthday kids eye, the GUEST gets to hear the ohhh and ahhhs, the GUEST gets to be excited the birthday kids loves the gift. Then the birthday kid holds the gift up for all to see, to prevent the cries of - what is it ? I can't see !

The other side of the argument with NOT opening the gifts, is that you feel as though your gift isn't good enough to be opened. Or that you aren't worthy of their time.

 

[jrmasm]

Sometimes they get opened during the party, sometimes they don't. I really don't care either way.

 

[shoney]

At kid/friend b-day parties, gifts are never opened. Usually parties are held outside of the home and there just isn't time. However even if ppl have house parties, I've never heard of a child opening gifts in front of other children.

For family parties, it depends. If it is small, then yes.

Personally, I am not of fan of watching people open gifts for a variety of reasons.


I would much prefer to hand someone my gift and have them open it, in a more private setting.

 

[NFLDERS]

Only the ones DB put out for Garbage by mistake, one Christmas! Ouch$$!

DSIL was wanting a good hiding place, I guess she found it! DB was not too impressed!

Sorry, for turning this into dry humor, I'm a tad Day 3 of a long wk-end.