Ever not opened gifts?

[freckles04]

So weird that this gets posted today. I went to a birthday party for an 8 year old yesterday and found it so strange that he didn't open his gifts. It did not bother me. We gave a card with money so I'm sure he liked it. My son was a bit disappointed. He always likes watching the gift opening. Maybe this is a new trend?

 

[Mom_Rides]

We were at a party a couple of weeks ago where the birthday kids (twins) opened like two gifts before it got totally out of hand. Neighborhood kids ripping through stuff, pushing, shoving, etc. One little girl actually smacked the twins sister who was helping with gifts. My friend got really upset, grabbed the gifts and took them inside the house and I didn't blame her one single bit.

We've always told our daughter that when we go to friends birthday party that she dare not touch their gifts, she has her birthday and her gifts and they won't touvh her gifts then. DD sits or stands quietly and gets ideas of what she wants.

I can't see DD going for not being able to open her gifts then but if it were a situation like my friend faced, game over. Its not a norm here to not open gifts at a party but to each their own.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

When my kids were little, we went to several parties that were like that - no gifts opened. They were generally at play places where the kids played, ate cake and then played more.

I was tempted not to open gifts during my kids birthday parties because usually one or 2 things would end up broken. All of the kids just had to play with the item and some were too rough or there was a fight over the toy and it got broken.

But in the end we always opened them with all the kids there. We only had parties every 3rd year for each kid.

 

[inkedupmomma]

my kids have never opened gifts at their parties. Nothing worse than a kid being excited to hand over a gift and the recipient hating it. Embarrassing. Thank you notes should show the excitement. Not to mention, most of my kids parties aren't more than a few hours and the kids don't want to stop moving to open gifts.

 

[Janepod]

My son is almost 8 and at literally every party he has had or attended, gifts have not been opened. "Must be a regional thing," LOL.

 

[goofyintoronto]

I have a couple of friends who don't open the gifts until after everyone leaves and I'm not only fine with that but wish more people did it that way. I really have no desire to watch anyone of any age open presents.

I cant stand it either. I find it so boring. I honestly dont care to see what they got for their birthday. Ditto for bridal/baby showers. I really dont want to sit there for an hour listening to everyone go "ooooooooh, aaaaaaah". For the record, my son and I have been to a billion birthday parties, and I honestly dont remember any of them opening gifts in front of people. I hope it stays that way. Same for bridal showers, its been years since i've seen anyone open gifts in front of the guests. Its just not the norm anymore.

 

[pixiedustmomma]

Our girl's party last year was so crazy that MIL had to force us to open gifts. My girls are three years and three days apart so we have one big party for them. It is also in August. Bouncy house, water balloons and slip n slide. The kids all wanted to keep playing instead of opening gifts and honestly time slipped away from me. Most of my family already left and they were fine with not opening gifts. We also told the girls friends that they did not need to bring gifts. My girls were turning 5 and 2. They get spoiled by family, so I figured it wasn't a big deal if the friends didn't bring gifts. So when my MIL wanted the gifts opened before she left all the kids helped open the gifts. It was chaos.

 

[FigmentFinder]

Yesterday, we attended a birthday party for a family friend's son. He just turned two.

My DD didn't quite get opening more than one present on her second birthday. If I made her try to open multiple things from people we would have had a screaming toddler on her birthday. Her birthday is a week after Christmas, she didn't understand present opening on either occasion.

TBH she probably would have preferred a box and wrapping paper on her birthday. But now that she's 2 1/2 she knows the best things come in boxes and will probably open presents on her third birthday.

 

[Poohforyou]

No punishment for this child. He is a kid of plenty. One less gift would be no matter to him.

I just feel like it would be nice for them to take the time to open what people bring. To me it shows appreciation.

In fact, some family member insisted their gifts be opened and were taken inside for their gifts to be opened. Everyone else stayed outside. So, obviously some others at the party felt the same but were vocal about it.

Oh, we'll to each his own. Just wondering if this was common. We had never seen it before.

Wow, so some families members were acting like 2 year olds just like the birthday boy. I'm sure the hosts were thrilled to have to deal with these family members to the party. They'd be off my list in he future. People do specific me things differently than one another. It doesn't make me right and the other wrong.

Op, I really think you need to let this go. You seem to have a lot of anger built up over a silly birthday party. Just don't go again if you don't want to.

 

[dreamin_disney]

I dont have parties because I hate all attention on me and to have to open gifts yikes!

My dd14 is very shy. Gift opening is very uncomfortable for her because all eyes are on her. Poor kids, dh family is very loud and they will yell ,
"Talk louder!"
"Who gave you that?"
or make some comment
and each time they do it I see her just sink in her chair.

Some kids that are shy dont like all eyes on them, My dd14 is at the point that she doesnt want a party anymore. But she loves getting gifts!

I went to a party of a lil girl and she didnt want to open gifts. All she did was cry and scream. The parents were frusturated that she threw a fit. She also didnt like the clapping or singining of the happy birthday or cake time. I think its a social issue or something more and in a case like that a kids shouldnt be forced. The mother talked to me privately a few days later and she was embarrassed. i told her just dont worry about opening the gifts who cares, why put her child through that. I didnt tell her this...
That is was uncomfortable for everyone to see the child be so upset and the parent fusturated with each other and their mini arguement. I felt to unfortable that I noticed the crowd didnt know where to look.

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

We've been to a lot of birthday parties and the only time we've seen the gifts opened at the party was when it was mostly family. Most of the parties have been at some location (bouncy place etc) where there really wasn't time or a place to open them. I like it that way.

It has also been the norm that we received a thank you note afterwards.

And for my own kids, we have done it this way. After the party, or even the next day, we sit down and open them slowly, taking the time to see who the gift was from and to talk about how thoughtful the gift was. Then we write thank you notes.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

My friends' son just turned one and they didn't open his gifts. I was a bit disappointed. I wanted to see him play in the wrapping paper, if nothing else. Also, DH and I had picked out geeky Star Wars gifts from him while on our recent Disney vacation that we knew all our friends would appreciate, and we wanted them to see what we had brought.

 

[Bren's Mom]

We no longer open gifts at birthday parties for our kids. If a child wants It done we do it after everyone else leaves and just a few remain. We found that it works well and is very common here. Sorry if it offends anyone.

Do you and your crowd send thank you notes for these gifts? That's one of my biggest pet peeves about 'opening later'. Often I never have any clue if the receiver even GOT our gift let alone if they enjoyed it! And that part bothers my little son the most, who takes great care in choosing the gifts for his friends.

We taught our kids at a young age about gift-receiving etiquette and were right there to be sure to discourage rude behavior of children "helping" even if their own parents weren't.

I like gift opening. IMO, it's partiif the fun, unless the guest list is so over the top long and opening the gifts is too time consuming.

I agree. I am not shy about setting a 'do not cross' line and ushering 'helpers' back to their seat. It stopped being a problem by about age 6.

And I totally get when a party is at a 'place' that there just isn't time. And that's ok. But it bugs me when we then get no acknowledgement.

 

[Bob NC]

When my kids were little and going to parties, I seem to recall that it was maybe half and half for kids opening presents AT the party vs not.

Never really gave it much thought, I guess it didn't make any difference to us.

 

[SLP958]

Wow, so some families members were acting like 2 year olds just like the birthday boy. I'm sure the hosts were thrilled to have to deal with these family members to the party. They'd be off my list in he future. People do specific me things differently than one another. It doesn't make me right and the other wrong.

Op, I really think you need to let this go. You seem to have a lot of anger built up over a silly birthday party. Just don't go again if you don't want to.

I really don't think I have anger that needs letting go. I just stated my opinion and experiences and asked for the input of others.

We do not plan on stopping being friends with this family. Geez.

 

[kimmyann]

I have never been to a child's b-day party & not have to sit through opening gifts. I have always had my kids open the gifts at the party, in front of everyone. Geez, I had no idea that people did not open gifts! How wonderful! I have always hated watching the gift opening & hated my kids doing it (esp when they were really little). I can totally see how waiting to open would be so much more enjoyable for everyone involved, it's always so chaotic when the party is going on. Now I do think a specific thank you card would be mandatory & I would consider it very rude not to receive one.

 

[LilyWDW]

I have also been to parties where the birthday child was overwhelmed and starting having a full meltdown. Nobody want's to hear "I hate that present!" but 2 year olds have no filter (and neither do some older kids.)

Tired and overwhelmed 2 year olds have NO filter! Learned that with my "nephew" (my cousin's son, but I am Aunt LilyWDW). Mom had to run an errand and left him with me. He was fine until after lunch. He was tired but always fights naps (always has) and was crying "I want mommy. I don't want Aunt (LilyWDW)!" I knew he was just tired and fighting a nap (he finally fell asleep in my arms on the big comfy chair) so I didn't take his words to heart.

As for the topic at hand. I always hated watching other kids open gifts or having them watch me when I was younger. Too much pressure and anxiety.

 

[cobright]

Was the family asian? It is traditio. In Japan to open gifts after everyone has left. It makes sense, then double gifts can be resolved witbout anyone feeling bad. There's no bad feelings for the guests who can't give as nice gift as others.

 

[SLP958]

Yesterday, we attended a birthday party for a family friend's son. He just turned two.

They did not open the presents. I found this strange for a child's party. My kids love watching present opening.

I do realize there are some hazards to present opening with kids but that's just part of it to me.

I have attended a few showers where presents were not opened but I really did not care for not opening them at a kids birthday.

My son was disappointed because he didn't know if the birthday boy likes our gift.

Have any of you seen this trend?

Update:
I said I would update so here it is.

No thank you note. The day after the party there was a blanket Facebook post that he liked his presents.

I have spoken to his mother several times since then and no mention of a thank you.

 

[mjkacmom]

Update:
I said I would update so here it is.

No thank you note. The day after the party there was a blanket Facebook post that he liked his presents.

I have spoken to his mother several times since then and no mention of a thank you.

I have noticed a decline in thank you notes with the increase in social media. Most of the time, we receive a generic thank you note with the goody bags. My kids always sent them (acknowledging the specific gift). I always had to, and still do.