Cost of raising a child in the US now over $300,000, not including college

[Pea-n-Me]

When I first ran across these figures ten years ago, I didn’t believe them, either. But then the more I though about it, the more I realized they were probably pretty accurate, especially living in a higher COL area.

I’ve spent a while trying to find an article that breaks down what costs they’re talking about. This one does a pretty good job, I think (better than some others, anyway):

https://www.investopedia.com/articles/personal-finance/090415/cost-raising-child-america.asp

Obviously costs can vary from family to family. And there are ways to help keep costs down (that I think that people are probably paying more attention to lately than they had in the more recent past). But over time, all those little expenses you have with children add up.

This isn’t to say it’s not worth having children (if that’s what people want to do). I think it just means that if you’re trying to figure out where a lot of your money went, there you have it, lol.

 

[barkley]

We actually did this for a year while relocating. The girls loved it.

i think to some extent it is what one is accustomed to so it can be (for some) an entirely unknown and enjoyable concept of sharing a room with a sibling. my 2 alternated (by choice) sharing and not sharing over the years (when they were younger they enjoyed having 1 bedroom as just a 'playroom').

growing up (born in '61) the 'norm' despite the number of kiddos was a 2 or 3 bedroom home w/parents having the main, and the remaining 2 being split by gender first/age second (if all of one gender-the oldest or the infant got the single room, if mixed genders-split between w/same gender in same room). a kid having a room to themselves was the exception not the norm. if you look at home building trends, homes built in the 2000's and beyond were more likely to have four or more bedrooms compared to those built in earlier decades so to some extent it's more recent generations that are used to having their own bedrooms.

i look at what the 'experts' say it costs to raise a child- i believe so much is dependent on regional costs/what people believe children are entitled to vs. what others believe are 'extras' (being on the dis for decades has shown me that some believe it's a birthright for kids to do 5 figure per year extracurricular activities, extensive weeks of summer camps...whereas it's unheard of in other regions).

so-i just found another source of this article's dollar price (not behind a paywall), here is what it is based on...........



"...It accounted for child-associated costs including food, childcare, after-school activities, transportation, health care, and clothing...

...breaks down to an average of $18,271 a year...

...For wealthier Americans—and for the upper middle class that doesn’t feel wealthy but lives in more expensive coastal cities—$300,000 is probably the minimum they will spend on a child, depending on factors like private school...".

seems to me that it's very subjective depending on what one views as a necessity vs. a luxury.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Ok, I’ll copy the whole article from above (2022)

How Much Does It Cost to Raise a Child in the US?​

It's a lot more than you might think​

Raising a child can be an emotionally rewarding experience. But it can also be very costly. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the average cost of raising a child to age 18 was $233,610 as of 2015.1 With an annual adjustment for inflation of 2.2% each year factored in, the lifetime cost of raising a child born in 2022 could be estimated at $272,049. Those numbers don't include the additional cost of sending a child to college.

If starting a family is in your plans or you already have kids, understanding the costs can make shaping your financial plan easier. We highlight some of the key costs associated with raising children, including housing (the top cost), food, childcare, and others.

Key Takeaways​

• Middle-income parents will spend an average of $272,049 by the time a child turns 18, not including the cost of higher education.
• The largest expense associated with raising a child is housing, followed by food.
• The cost of childcare varies widely and depends on where you live.
• The good news is that each additional child costs less, thanks to economies of scale.

Housing ​

The largest expense associated with the cost of raising children is housing. This can easily make up a sizeable chunk of a parent's budget, especially when you factor in mortgage or rent payments, taxes, insurance, repairs, utilities, maintenance, and basic household goods.

According to Consumer Expenditures Data for 2020, the typical household spends a mean amount of $21,409.19 on housing per year.2 Meanwhile, Census Bureau data shows that the median household income in the U.S. was $67,521 in 2020.3 Going by those numbers, you could assume that families with children spend roughly 32% of their income on housing.

These numbers offer a broad idea of how much families pay for housing. But it's important to keep in mind that housing costs can vary based on a number of factors, including:

• • Geographic area
  • Type of dwelling (single-family home, townhouse, condominium, etc.)
  • Whether the family rents or owns their home
  • Size of the home as it corresponds to family size (i.e. number of bedrooms required based on the number of children and adults)
  • Age of the home

Economic conditions can also influence the cost of housing for families. When housing prices rise, that can make it more expensive for families to purchase a home. Likewise, rising inflation can push up rental prices along with increased prices for other consumer goods.

Housing assistance programs can help by providing money to supplement the cost of rent for eligible lower-income families.

Food ​

Sustenance tends to be the next major cost for parents. The amount that a family spends varies. It is based on the number of children in the home, household income, geographic region, and preferred diet.

The USDA offers some perspective on how much families may spend on food. Each month, the USDA issues monthly reports on food costs at four different levels: thrifty, Low-cost, moderate-cost, and liberal. These reports consider different household sizes with children of different ages. The reference family consists of a male and female adult between the ages of 20 to 50 and two children in the six- to eight-year-old range and the nine to 11-year-old range.

Here's how the average food spending numbers for the reference family add up on a monthly basis, as of November 2021:

• • Thrifty plan: $855.10
  • Low-cost plan: $941.70
  • Moderate plan: $1,168.20
  • Liberal plan: $1,416.7045

At the low end, a typical family of four spends $10,261.20 per year on food at home. At the high end, they spend $17,000.04 per year on food. That's around 25% of their income if you're going by the median household income of $67,521 mentioned earlier.

Spending money on food away from home, including dine-in meals at restaurants, take-out meals, and snacks purchased at convenience stores, can inflate food costs for families.

Child Care ​

Child care costs can easily take up a sizable part of parents' budgets each year. The cost of childcare in the U.S. ranges from $5,436 to $24,243 annually, according to 2020 figures from the Economic Policy Institute.6 How much you pay for child care can depend on the type of care needed, the number of children that require care, and where your family lives.

For instance, Washington, D.C. residents pay the most. Infant care costs $24,243 annually, which represents 28.6% of the median family income for parents in the area. Meanwhile, parents in Mississippi pay the least. Annual childcare amounts to $5,436 for an infant and $4,784 for a four-year-old in that state. That represents 11.7% of the median family income for the state.7

Daycare centers may give a discount if you have more than one child enrolled.

What Else Do Families Spend Money On? ​

Aside from housing, food, child care and education, there are other costs associated with raising children that are important to budget for. Some of the most common things parents may pay for to raise kids include:

• • Transportation
  • Health care and insurance
  • Clothing
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Sports and hobbies
  • School fees for field trips, activities, fundraisers, etc.
  • Family trips or vacations

Some of these items could be considered necessary, while others may be wants. How much you spend on these things (if you do at all) can depend on the number of kids you have and what your budget allows. But it's important to consider each and every budget item when determining your personal cost of raising children.

The Good and Bad News ​

There is some good news when it comes to the cost of raising a child in America. Economies of scale also apply to the number of children you have. The USDA points out that each additional child costs less because siblings can share a bedroom and a family can buy food in larger, more cost-effective quantities. And while your offspring might not necessarily like it, clothing and toys can be handed down, and older siblings can often babysit younger ones.1

Now with the bad news. The numbers we mentioned above don’t account for the cost of a college education. Higher education can add to the total for parents who help pay for their children's college costs. How much you pay for college can depend on whether your child:

• • Attends a two- or four-year school
  • Goes to a public or private university
  • Is charged in-state or out-of-state tuition rates (at public universities)

The average annual cost of a public college (in-state) for the 2021-2022 academic year comes in at $22,690 and $51,690 for a private college, according to the College Board. Keep in mind that these figures include the cost of tuition, fees, and room and board.8 That means saving early and taking advantage of 529 plans or other investment vehicles to keep kids from graduating with a large amount of debt.

Strategies to Reduce Costs When Having a Child ​

Raising a child can be an emotional rollercoaster. Ask any parent and they'll probably tell you there are both ups and downs. But we understand that the costs associated with the responsibilities of being a parent and raising a child can be draining. So we've highlighted a list of tips that you may want to consider to help you reduce your expenses:

• • Plan ahead. It's important to have a good plan in place. This principle is very important with anything you do that costs you money. If you want to have a child and/or are expecting, it's important to get your affairs in order sooner rather than later. Good planning can keep you one step ahead of the game.
  • Set aside money for your child. The same way you'd save for a rainy day, a major purchase, or retirement, you should save money that is meant just for your child. It could be a savings account or a long-term investment vehicle. Dip into this fund if and only when the need arises for expenses related to your child. You should also take advantage of special accounts like 529 plans.
  • Look for parent-friendly tax credits and deductions that can reduce your tax liability or help you get some money back like the child tax credit.
  • Less is often more. Using some restraint can help you cut down costs, especially in the beginning. After all, babies don't need much other than food, clothing, and a place to sleep.
  • Think about the must-haves for your kids rather than the needs. You can probably do without anything that falls into the latter category. Ask yourself whether your 12-year-old really needs the latest gaming console when the last one works perfectly fine.
  • Think sustainably. Consider recycling and secondhand. Consider reaching out to family and friends about any clothing they're no longer using. Use cloth diapers rather than disposable ones. Not only will this help you save some money but it can also help you reduce your carbon footprint.

What Is the Average Cost of Raising a Child in the U.S.?​

While it can vary due to geography and the cost of childcare, $272,049 is the average amount spent on raising a child to age 18 that's born in 2022. This amount does not include the cost of paying for higher education, which can easily add $80,000 to $100,000+ per child to the total.

How Do the Expenses of Child Rearing Break Down?​

Housing is the biggest expense associated with raising kids, followed by paying for food. Following those two categories of expenses, parents spend the most on childcare, transportation, healthcare, clothing and miscellaneous spending.

What Are the Major Costs of Raising a Child in the U.S.?​

The major cost of raising a child is housing. This is followed by food. But some of the other key expenses that most parents don't think about right off the bat include education.

How Can I Reduce the Costs of Raising my Children?​

Some of the best ways to reduce the costs of raising a child or children include proper planning and saving exclusively for the little ones. Other tips include looking for parent-friendly tax benefits and keeping a less-is-more attitude in mind. Parents can also keep a check on their budgets by recycling and using secondhand clothing. And of course, try to do away with the needs and stick with the must-haves as the former are often dispensable.

Which State Has the Lowest Child Care Costs?​

According to the Economic Policy Institute, the state with the lowest child care costs is Mississippi. Parents pay an average of $5,436 for an infant and $4,784for a four-year-old in child care each year.7

The Bottom Line ​

Nobody wants to think of their children as just an expense but the financial side of child-rearing can’t be ignored. Understanding the numbers can help you determine if you can afford to have children if you don't have them yet. And if you already have kids, being cost-conscious can help you to make smarter financial decisions so that you can stretch every dollar.

 

[tzolkin]

I think most people’s knee jerk reaction is to say “I certainly didn’t spend that much”, but when you take all costs into account its pretty easy to see how that would be an accurate average (since prices vary depending on COL).

Full time childcare alone could easily exceed the yearly average if you divide the 300k over 18 years. Many, like me, might say “Well I didn’t actually spend that money because I stayed home and didn’t pay for daycare or a nanny”. But, it still technically “cost” me that much in lost wages vs if I had no children and worked FT all those years.

Then factor in the price difference between a 1 bedroom and a 3-4 bedroom home. Double your food costs, etc. it easily adds up without you even realizing.

 

[WDWDancer]

We have 3 and yep I can see this for sure....the food cost alone is astronomical, and we grow plenty of our own. Add in medical expenses, traveling out of state for medical specialist, gas for sports, etc and it adds up quickly

 

[amylevan]

That article doesn’t seem to take out what we would spend on housing and food if we didn’t have kids. We bought our house before kids and will live here after they move out. And yes, my food bill is bigger than before kids, but it doesn't completely disappear with them (and you can’t simply divide by the number of people as meals stretch to feed more.)

Not that kids are cheap by any stretch of the imagination but…

 

[lowlight]

That article doesn’t seem to take out what we would spend on housing and food if we didn’t have kids. We bought our house before kids and will live here after they move out. And yes, my food bill is bigger than before kids, but it doesn't completely disappear with them (and you can’t simply divide by the number of people as meals stretch to feed more.)

Not that kids are cheap by any stretch of the imagination but…

Yeah this is like some kind of FUD to convince people to not have kids.

 

[barkley]

i don't agree with the math that is being used.

housing-

yes it's very expensive these days but at least around us and where we've previously lived a 2 bedroom rental is not twice the cost of a 1 nor is a 3 triple the cost. a purchased home with twice the number of bedrooms one vs. another is also not double the cost. my property taxes are not based on the number of people in my household so no decrease no matter the number of people. my homeowners insurance does not decrease based on the number of people in the household.

utilities-

water (when we paid for it vs. well) always had an initial base rate then usage was put on top. base rate was not prorated by number of people. cell phone plan is actually less expensive for 4 vs. 1 or 2 persons on it due to multi line discount. garbage is a flat fee so no discount for less put into that container. power/heat-keep my home at same temp despite having kids or not, usage went down a smidge when oldest moved out 9 years ago but not 25 percent.

repairs/maintenance-i guess we just didn't raise our kids such that they did major damage to the place but no repairs or maintenance was done that wouldn't have been needed absent kids.


transportation-

ummmmmmm maybe it cost us to drive them them daily to/from the bus stop/to the odd parent teacher conference/holiday concert but other than that and their occasional doctor or dentist appointments (but we usually bundled their appointments on the same day/time frame as our own so we would have been going anyway) it wasn't a tremendous factor. maybe if they had been in extracurriculars or sports that necessitated it or necessitated buying a larger vehicle to schlep stuff but the only time our kids created a need for a vehicle other than the same type we would have had as singletons or a kid free couple was when both were of stroller age and our small hatchback couldn't fit the double stroller we had. our car insurance is less expensive due to having a 3rd driver/vehicle due to multi car discounts (looked at oldest having own at 25 but it would have increase OUR rates on OUR 2 person policy).


overall-

when my oldest moved out i saw a minor decrease in utilities (NOT 25 percent), minor decrease in personal hygene expenses (still buy the huge bottles of stuff-they just last a bit longer now, go through laundry detergent a bit slower...), largest change was groceries.

yeah it costs to have kids, esp. in the daycare years but our expenses didn't increase such that with a household of 4 it went down by 25 percent when the oldest left nor would it go down another 25 percent if my youngest were to leave.

 

[tzolkin]

That article doesn’t seem to take out what we would spend on housing and food if we didn’t have kids. We bought our house before kids and will live here after they move out.

Certainly expenses will vary for everyone, but I definitely think on average families’ housing costs are related to their size. A couple could live in a 1br apartment or a very small house, but may feel that they “need” to move to a larger place when they have children. Of course that’s not true for everyone, but it’s true for enough that the concepts of a “starter home” and needing “more space for a growing family” are pretty widely accepted as the norm around the US.

 

[Southernmiss]

Thank goodness you don't have to have the full amount all at one time

Kids are expensive.

 

[GreatLakes]

We are raising our kid in the same home I bought when I was in my 20's so that's one big expense we didn't have. We pay more in utilities, and we also do a lot of optional things that will likely get us pretty close to that $300,000, but I really doubt we are average when you consider the number of people making nowhere near enough to do that raising multiple kids.

 

[tzolkin]

i don't agree with the math that is being used.
…
our expenses didn't increase such that with a household of 4 it went down by 25 percent when the oldest left nor would it go down another 25 percent if my youngest were to leave.

But where in the article did it say that’s how they calculated the cost? I did not see it say that having two children would double the cost of housing and food vs a couple. It just said that those costs would increase (and have an average dollar amount), not that each individual could be calculated to “cost” the same percentage. (Ex. Housing cost for a family of 4 might be 30% more than for a family of 2, not double even though there are double the number of people)

 

[barkley]

But where in the article did it say that’s how they calculated the cost? I did not see it say that having two children would double the cost of housing and food vs a couple. It just said that those costs would increase (and have an average dollar amount), not that each individual could be calculated to “cost” the same percentage. (Ex. Housing cost for a family of 4 might be 30% more than for a family of 2, not double even though there are double the number of people)

it does'nt but they say that housing is the largest expense which just is not my experience raising kids nor is it the case for the majority of people i know over multiple generations. ask them what the single biggest expense category for their kids and they will likely say it changed as the kids aged up-

infant/toddler years-daycare #1, diapers/formula #2, everything else much less

preschool/early k-reduced cost but still childcare at the top, the loss of diapers/formula tend to cancel out the cost of 'real food' to close to a wash

elementary-much less childcare and it can be much less expensive (non pandemic influenced rates-this report is using financial data from 2020 so the resulting influences were not as big a factor). there's school clothes and supplies but in my experience it's less expensive than every 3 months kids outgrowing clothes like they did in the early years.

middle school-clothing is subjective to personal choice on how much a parent is willing to spend. i know people who let their kids buy top of the line everything and get entirely new wardrobes multiple times a year while others spend less and only replace when outgrown or worn out. food costs tend to get much more expensive in these years when those 'hollow legs' come into fruition.

high school-clothing again is subjective as are things not even mentioned in the article (drivers ed, adding a kid to car insurance, some people buy their kid a car...). again, in my experience the biggest cost was food.

over the decades i've raised kids my housing costs increased but they would have done so at the same rate had i not had children. my utilities have increased but not to the extent that i've reaped any major savings when a child left home. i just think (again-based on my personal experience) that too much emphasis is being put on the housing aspect.

 

[tzolkin]

it does'nt but they say that housing is the largest expense which just is not my experience raising kids nor is it the case for the majority of people i know over multiple generations.
… over the decades i've raised kids my housing costs increased but they would have done so at the same rate had i not had children.

Our experiences differ. The majority of people I know spend significantly more on housing if they have children than if they didn’t. A few examples:

1. Couple lives in a $150k “starter home” but purchases a $300k home once they start to have children.

2. Couple lives in a 1br apartment, but moves into a 2 or 3 bedroom apartment when kids start to come.

3. Couple’s first home purchase was significantly larger than they would need for the two of them but they bought it with the intention to be their long-term family home with enough room for kids.

We did #3. So technically our housing expenses didn’t increase at all as we added our three children, but we would never have bought a 3000+ sqft house with a huge yard in that location if we were not planning to have children. So for the sake of how much the kids “cost” overall, we could include the price difference between that home and something smaller.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

With clothing I shopped discounts and clearance sales whenever I could, but I remember it being a pretty big challenge trying to keep up with everything needed. Seasonal clothing like winter coats and boots often seemed small the following year or two, same with bathing suits and, well, everything pretty much. Go to put on top and too small. Clothes needed for special occasions, oops, pants are high waters now, etc. I had twins so had to have two of everything at the outset, and they were pretty close in size so we didn’t get to re-use much. I remember being pretty happy when DD’s feet became a little bigger than DS’s and we could hand down one pair of black winter boots for a while.

With child care, we got creative as much as we could, stacking our schedules and my working part time and overnight hours when they were young, yet we calculated that we spent about $35,000 on child care just before they reached kindergarten, and that was over 20 yrs ago. We still spent more even after K but not as intensely as those years. And we were fortunate because my mother lived with us and helped out. Had she not, it would’ve been even more.

I think housing can be thought of more broadly than just moving, too. We’ve stayed in the same house since our kids were born, but we’ve had other expenses to accommodate our life with them. We did over their room when they were first born, and bought two cribs and all that (discounted). Eventually got rid of the cribs and bought two toddler beds. As they grew we bought them each a set of bunk beds and did over two rooms again when they separated. Added bookcases and desks and all that. Some with a family room, our largest room, we did it over when they were toddlers to make it open, safe and child proof. Later we did outgrow our house a bit but instead of moving, we build on an additional sun room off our kitchen (to the tune of $36K at the time). Floor from baths in tub got wet and had to be replaced. We added a lot of play structures, fences pools and other things to help keep them safe and busy. We had to add central air when DS developed seasonal allergies and asthma from the windows being open (wound up costing about $23K to add new furnace plus AC system and they had to move the furnace again for the vents, and that was 12 yrs ago), etc. We are in a high COL area and these costs added up.

I think they talk mainly about larger costs but one thing I didn’t see that I know cost us a lot were haircuts. Monthly cuts for everyone add up. (Granted, never went the Flo-bee route, but I can see why families might.) I also seemed to spend a lot on things at school like pictures that I always bought and money for this or that that I had to send in. Recreation costs you spend money on bikes and roller blades and sports equipment even if you don’t officially play a sport. Playing a sport or being in band comes with a price, too. I know we wanted to keep our kids busy and out of trouble so we didn’t mind driving them there and paying associated costs, but it did add up. I can see why they say today it’s really gone up, with gas and other costs having soared.

I don’t think they publish this to discourage people from having kids. I think it‘s more to help them make realistic choices. It could even go back to things like minimizing school loans knowing you want kids some day and how much that’s going to cost. (We know that school loans are causing some to postpone buying homes and having families.) Even buying first homes it might make sense to find a home with good bones and enough bedrooms and baths to accomodate an average family that needs some cosmetics or something so as not to have to move later. The median home cost in our state is now over $600,000 so having this info and making good choices will be necessary in order to survive in today’s world, imo.

 

[barkley]

Our experiences differ. The majority of people I know spend significantly more on housing if they have children than if they didn’t. A few examples:

1. Couple lives in a $150k “starter home” but purchases a $300k home once they start to have children.

2. Couple lives in a 1br apartment, but moves into a 2 or 3 bedroom apartment when kids start to come.

3. Couple’s first home purchase was significantly larger than they would need for the two of them but they bought it with the intention to be their long-term family home with enough room for kids.

We did #3. So technically our housing expenses didn’t increase at all as we added our three children, but we would never have bought a 3000+ sqft house with a huge yard in that location if we were not planning to have children. So for the sake of how much the kids “cost” overall, we could include the price difference between that home and something smaller.

i get it but i still don't think it's the biggest expense overall.

one thing that always gets me with these articles is they never define if the 'costs' are net or gross b/c that can make a huge difference. with some expenses it's likely a given that it's net like food (although a nearby state to us has a refundable per person state income tax credit for groceries), utilities and clothing but then there are others where by virtue of having kids those expenses qualify for at least a partial federal write off (or refundable credit) like childcare. i know the rules have changed with mortgage interest deductions but i recall when we moved from a smaller home to a larger one of the factors in being able to afford it at that point was b/c we had the additional 2 dependents plus their child tax credits so our tax savings offset the increased payment for the most part. on the flip side-when our oldest got to the point in college where it was beneficial to do their own tax return vs. being claimed as our dependent we saw a net loss in income vs. (non collegiate) support expenses.

 

[Smugpugmug]

I don’t think they publish this to discourage people from having kids.

More people are making that decision regardless of this article (and others like it). I am in my 20s and I only know one person in my age range that has a child. Everyone else is choosing not to have kids because they straight up can't afford it due to student loans, housing and rising cost of food/necessities.

 

[Cheburashka]

This article is a bunch of baloney. Most people want to own a home, even if they don't have kids, and the standard middle class home has three bedrooms, so the biggest expense they list is already going to be there. People are already going to have to eat, etc.

The article adds up costs that include basic costs of living that people would have to incur, anyway, and of course, doesn't properly acknowledge that different families have different standards of living. Some kids share rooms, some whole families live in one apartment, some families cook every meal from scratch, some never use daycare and never travel, etc., etc.

This is an anti-child, anti-parenting article. It's the same theme that's been around since the 80's, that it's too expensive to have kids. It's based on distorted data. I've never been wealthy and I have a disabled child who I care for very well. And I know lots of nice families with several kids who don't have much money.

 

[Cheburashka]

More people are making that decision regardless of this article (and others like it). I am in my 20s and I only know one person in my age range that has a child. Everyone else is choosing not to have kids because they straight up can't afford it due to student loans, housing and rising cost of food/necessities.

People in their 20's today are no poorer than people in their 20's were 100 years ago. What has changed are people's values.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I don’t think this is just about an ”article”. This is something that’s studied by a branch of the government (USDA) the same way costs of everything else are studied. Writers are just reporting on it. And it probably is something we should know, even if it’s a little intimidating or some think it’s hogwash or crap. There is likely a middle ground.