Cost of raising a child in the US now over $300,000, not including college

[tvguy]

are those schools within individual districts and limited to only the residents of that districts? within individual counties and limited to only residents of that county? if they are outside a student's district or county does the parent pay any extra levies/bonds that the district/county it resides in may have passed to support those programs (but are not collected in their student's home district/county)? i know that was a HUGE issue when we lived there on prohibiting out of district transfers let alone out of county (HUGE variance on school funding at the local level for those extras).

It usually within the same district, but there are interdistrict or reciprocal agreements that allow students from outside a district. No charge to the parents as the majority of funding for public schools in California come from the state. So the state doesn't care which district a child is enrolled in, just that they are enrolled somewhere. With declining enrollments School Districts are glad to get the additional funding from extra students.
I think Charter schools tend to have even fewer restrictions on boundaries of who can attend.. Those tend to be privately run public schools paid for by the taxpayers chartered to fill a specific need. They usually rely HEAVILY on parent participation in their programs.

EDIT: THIS ARTICLE LOOKS AT HOW COMMONLY STUDENTS ENROLL IN A PUBLIC SCHOOL DISTRICT OTHER THAN THE ONE THE STUDENT LIVES IN. https://schoolchoiceweek.com/public-school-transfer/

 

[Pea-n-Me]

what i see with my kid's peers (27/25) is that many of them all too clearly recall the fallout of the last housing market crash and recession. they recall the impact on their parents, friend's parents and their own lives. the 'forever homeowner' dream was not the reality they grew up in. many saw their parents lose their homes or lose their jobs and were left stuck with a home they couldn't give away. some are still seeing the ramifications within their families-they had to move to other areas for work but were left with those homes they couldn't get out from under which resulted in foreclosures tanking their credit for decades to come. with the pandemic and people having to look for jobs they could continue to work with the shutdowns the younger ones are feeling like it's better to have the flexibility to be able to pull up stakes and move to greener (or at least not such decimated) pastures. i can't say as i blame them.

That’s interesting. I wonder if it’s regional, because mine are in that age group, too, and that’s not something they experienced, really. Most of their friends’ families had stable living situations, often in their “starter” homes the same way we were. It could be the district we’re in - not a lot of McMansions. (Which is really scary to think that it’s these starter homes that are so out of reach around here now.) They had one friend whose parent lost a job a few times, but was always eventually able to find something else in his field within commuting distance to home. I will have to ask my kids when I see them if they remember anything about that time period. I will be surprised if they say yes. DH and I always had pretty recession-proof jobs and they’ve followed our lead. They still have a dream of homeownership and are working toward it despite the ridiculousness of home prices in our area. They worry about it a lot, though.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

And to avoid child care issues, a popular option is for parents to place their child in the school closest to where they work, not where they live. Most of the before school childcare here opens at 6 am, but there are a few centers open 24 hours so you can drop your child off earlier if need be.

Another interesting comment. I have never head of 24 hr care in our area. I googled and found some that said “Closed Now” so I’m not sure how reliable that information is. IME even for people who stagger their schedules there is often a period of an hour or three where childcare is needed and it can be very difficult to find.

 

[Southernmiss]

The cost of college is definitely affecting how poor this generation is, look at the student loan data. College costs have increased by 169% since the 80’s.. My oldest is 26, she says none of her friends plan on buying homes, she’s been with her boyfriend for 6+ years, no talk of marriage. Only a couple if her friends are married, none have children, they’d rather pay rent for a tiny apartment in a vibrant city than pay a mortgage, it’s cheaper and more fun. One bedrooms in my area start at $1400 a month so they are okay having roommates.

I do agree with this.

Dh and I bought our first home at age 23.

Our 28 year old bought his first at 26 years old in 2020, when this market went crazy. One of their couple friends had a child this year. That's the first baby in their circle.

Our 25 year old has $$ in student loans and just graduated and started his professional job. It will be a few years before he buys a home or has children.

Our 23 year college graduate old is still at home sorting out his next level of education. It will be among while for him.

But, their first homes with professional degreed salaries will be nicer than our current home.

 

[mjkacmom]

I do agree with this.

Dh and I bought our first home at age 23.

Our 28 year old bought his first at 26 years old in 2020, when this market went crazy. One of their couple friends had a child this year. That's the first baby in their circle.

Our 25 year old has $$ in student loans and just graduated and started his professional job. It will be a few years before he buys a home or has children.

Our 23 year college graduate old is still at home sorting out his next level of education. It will be among while for him.

But, their first homes with professional degreed salaries will be nicer than our current home.

I wish that was the case. I’m guessing DH was making around $50,000 or so back in 1997, house cost $180,000 (we did put 20% down). Ds24 is making almost twice that, our house is now worth close to $600,000 (and taxes went from $4000 to almost $14,000). I really feel for these young adults.

 

[Smugpugmug]

The cost of college is definitely affecting how poor this generation is, look at the student loan data. College costs have increased by 169% since the 80’s.. My oldest is 26, she says none of her friends plan on buying homes, she’s been with her boyfriend for 6+ years, no talk of marriage. Only a couple if her friends are married, none have children, they’d rather pay rent for a tiny apartment in a vibrant city than pay a mortgage, it’s cheaper and more fun. One bedrooms in my area start at $1400 a month so they are okay having roommates.

I definitely agree with this and what I was trying to say in my other post. None of my friends have their own homes. Even the person I know that has a child; she and her husband live with her parents. All of us either live with our parents or in apartments with 1-3 roommates. A lot of people do have differing values in terms of having kids or not (a few of my friends prioritize traveling over having kids for example) but many other people are struggling to take care of themselves financially and are not having kids right now for that exact reason.

 

[tvguy]

Another interesting comment. I have never head of 24 hr care in our area. I googled and found some that said “Closed Now” so I’m not sure how reliable that information is. IME even for people who stagger their schedules there is often a period of an hour or three where childcare is needed and it can be very difficult to find.

I find 4 here that appear to still be open. 1 does not currently have openings.

https://winnie.com/sacramento/24-hour-daycares

 

[tvguy]

I wish that was the case. I’m guessing DH was making around $50,000 or so back in 1997, house cost $180,000 (we did put 20% down). Ds24 is making almost twice that, our house is now worth close to $600,000 (and taxes went from $4000 to almost $14,000). I really feel for these young adults.

Home sales have cooled but homes here are still selling for above asking. My son and DIL had to offer $100,000 over asking to buy a home in Los Angeles County in May. They sold their house up here in July 2021 for $415,000, they paid $283,000 for it. They paid $950,000 for their current home and are in the middle of $100,000 in renovations. I have no idea what their income is, but they clearly qualified for the mortgage.

 

[sipnride]

As so many have stated on here, there are so many variables involved that the description "what it costs" is pretty misleading. However, I have no doubt that spending less per child, whether by choice or necessity, comes with some significant downsides. Much is made about how much screen time kids have, but for a lot of families that screen time is the default because finding other safe enriching activities is expensive. My youngest regularly goes about the neighborhood to find kids to play with, but we pay a premium to live in a neighborhood where that's safe, and I'm not just talking about crime - there's a well maintained playground across the road, a pool with a lifeguard, there are speed bumps, etc. This neighborhood was designed to be a safe place for kids. But communities like this are relatively scarce as compared to the number of families who would like to raise their kids in them, and so it's quite pricey for a townhouse like ours even it's not all that big and we're a good hour away from the city during normal traffic. It was a better option for our family than living somewhere where we'd feel compelled to pay for a lot of structured program, constantly shuttling the kids to cheerleading/karate/whatever. Given how expensive those things have gotten I feel like we not only saved ourselves a lot of headaches but at this point a lot of money as well.

But we only had that choice available to us because we had two reliable near-median incomes. If we had been earning less, then yeah our kids would probably be glued to their screens instead of socializing in real life, and that's just one example of the tradeoffs of trying to raise kids on less is nowadays.

Having said that, I wouldn't deter anyone from having kids for economic reasons. It's the most rewarding and enduring experience I've had or that I'll likely ever have. I wouldn't trade any of it for more personal economic or social freedom.

 

[mefordis]

I do agree with this.

Dh and I bought our first home at age 23.

Our 28 year old bought his first at 26 years old in 2020, when this market went crazy. One of their couple friends had a child this year. That's the first baby in their circle.

Our 25 year old has $$ in student loans and just graduated and started his professional job. It will be a few years before he buys a home or has children.

Our 23 year college graduate old is still at home sorting out his next level of education. It will be among while for him.

But, their first homes with professional degreed salaries will be nicer than our current home.

I graduated with 36k in student loan debt which is the equivalent today (according to an inflation calculator) of 70k.

When I graduated the job market was awful and it took a while to find a job. I lived in NYC and thankfully in 1999 came the dotcom boom which was a huge advantage if you were working in IT, which I was.

This and only this allowed us to buy our first house and pay off the student loans by age 29.

 

[barkley]

Another interesting comment. I have never head of 24 hr care in our area. I googled and found some that said “Closed Now” so I’m not sure how reliable that information is. IME even for people who stagger their schedules there is often a period of an hour or three where childcare is needed and it can be very difficult to find.

the only one i ever knew of i believe closed down years ago but it was a BRILLIANT concept. a licensed center was put in on the property adjacent to the (then) smallish town's hospital. theoretically anyone could enroll kids but the draw was for medical and support staff who worked at the adjacent hospital. people who worked non traditional shifts loved it!

 

[disneydreamer1980]

We have 5 kids, have a decent income, spend a lot on “extra” stuff for the kids and I don’t think we come close to this amount. I can’t imagine spending that much on just necessities.

 

[tvguy]

I graduated with 36k in student loan debt which is the equivalent today (according to an inflation calculator) of 70k.

When I graduated the job market was awful and it took a while to find a job. I lived in NYC and thankfully in 1999 came the dotcom boom which was a huge advantage if you were working in IT, which I was.

This and only this allowed us to buy our first house and pay off the student loans by age 29.

My wife and I paid our kids tuition. Our oldest was the only one with any debt when he was done, and we paid that off and he has been slowly paying us back over the last 12 years. Not sure I would have done that if I had known there was a chance the government would consider forgiving it! Who would have thought that could have happened back then? But, he DID borrow the money, he DID get the education and he CAN afford to pay it back.

 

[mefordis]

My wife and I paid our kids tuition. Our oldest was the only one with any debt when he was done, and we paid that off and he has been slowly paying us back over the last 12 years. Not sure I would have done that if I had known there was a chance the government would consider forgiving it! Who would have thought that could have happened back then? But, he DID borrow the money, he DID get the education and he CAN afford to pay it back.

I really don't think there will be loan forgiveness to the degree people are hoping for.

We are paying 100% of our girl's college -- no loans. I remember how scary it was when they held that meeting right before graduation, basically saying it's time to pay the piper and here is what will happen if you don't! I had to get deferment after deferment due to not having an adequate job to make the payments. The interest really added up. I realize it's a must for most people but I am so grateful that my kids can avoid these loans.