Cost of raising a child in the US now over $300,000, not including college

[Smugpugmug]

People in their 20's today are no poorer than people in their 20's were 100 years ago. What has changed are people's values.

Don't see anything wrong with changing values to be honest. I think it's a good thing that people have a choice whether to have kids or not. I'm one of those people that is choosing not to because I don't want to be a parent. I do, however, feel for people like some of my friends that want to be parents but cannot due to their financial situation.

Also people in their 20s now hold less wealth and are earning less than their parents did when they were in their 20s so that is definitely a contributing factor here.

 

[AustinTink]

Add in another 100k for K-12 education if you send them to private school.

 

[Cheburashka]

I do, however, feel for people like some of my friends that want to be parents but cannot due to their financial situation.

They can have kids if they want to. People have always made financial sacrifices to have kids. Your friends choose not to. Again, values.

 

[Cheburashka]

Add in another 100k for K-12 education if you send them to private school.

Well, yeah, but that's definitely an optional frill. Public school is available to anyone.

 

[barkley]

I remember being pretty happy when DD’s feet became a little bigger than DS’s and we could hand down one pair of black winter boots for a while.

shoes!!! they added up to so much-and there were the ones they only wore once, maybe twice before they outgrew them ('nice black dress shoes' for school concerts ). same with black dress pants/skirts and white collared shirts i hit a sweet spot with both kids where they moved quickly into then out of my shoe size so i inherited a couple of pairs of dress shoes and some vans i wore for years vs. them wearing them for less than a couple of months-not even broken in. i was so thrilled when my oldest got interested in the bands that dh has enjoyed for decades. instead of spending a fortune on knock off concert t's dear old dad's stash was raided. when both kids were in high school and wore the same size/had the same interests in video games and movies they ended up with larger wardrobes but at a lower cost to us b/c they would share t-shirts. to this day the rule within and outside the house is if a shirt is not worn to shreds but you no longer want it then it is offered up to whomever else wants it (i'll admit to storing some for years and then pulling them out b/c the kids get sentimental about a game/movie or there's a re-boot and they want the 'o.g.' t shirt).

 

[AustinTink]

Well, yeah, but that's definitely an optional frill. Public school is available to anyone.

I know. I was just griping. That number floored me when we added it all up.

 

[Cheburashka]

I know. I was just griping. That number floored me when we added it all up.

Yes, and it would be way more than $100,000 for K-12 private school, in most cases. At least in Austin lol. Just grades 9 - 12 would cost about that much. I had my son in private school for 7 years. Where is the empty pocket emoji when you need it?

But that was a choice I made for my son. It wasn't an absolute necessity for me to pay for him to attend school. He's in public school now. There are a lot of options out there.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Add in another 100k for K-12 education if you send them to private school.

I know. I was just griping. That number floored me when we added it all up.

I went to parochial school myself (until HS). It was what I knew best. (Of course, I think tuition was under $500/yr then but it was still a struggle at times for my parents.) Before my kids started school (so probably around 2001) I visited one near us to talk about them attending. At that time it was going to cost $4000 per child for K (X2) plus $800 each for the bus, so roughly $10K/yr, at least. They also said costs would rise every year. When I added it up I realized it would be too costly for us to pay that for nine or twelve years and try to think about saving for college so we let it go (and didn’t regret it). I know people whose kids still attend in different areas and it seems more affordable, maybe $2500 with discounts if parents volunteer. I also know people who sent their kids to the more costly private schools and they made some tough choices in order to do so (including divorce in one case since they lived in areas with some of the best schools already and one partner didn’t see the point). In that case the kids themselves made the choice later to take themselves out of those privates as they didn’t feel like they fit in and preferred public. We’re fortunate we live in an area with good public schools.

 

[MamaMermaid]

Genuine question: how much do adults "cost" per year?

 

[AustinTink]

Yes, and it would be way more than $100,000 for K-12 private school, in most cases. At least in Austin lol. Just grades 9 - 12 would cost about that much. I had my son in private school for 7 years. Where is the empty pocket emoji when you need it?

But that was a choice I made for my son. It wasn't an absolute necessity for me to pay for him to attend school. He's in public school now. There are a lot of options out there.

Mine went K-12 in Austin and it came in around 100k. That's without endless fees and extras added in. But the cost of tuition at his schools has gone up significantly since he was there.

 

[AustinTink]

I went to parochial school myself (until HS). It was what I knew best. (Of course, I think tuition was under $500/yr then but it was still a struggle at times for my parents.) Before my kids started school (so probably around 2001) I visited one near us to talk about them attending. At that time it was going to cost $4000 per child for K (X2) plus $800 each for the bus, so roughly $10K/yr, at least. They also said costs would rise every year. When I added it up I realized it would be too costly for us to pay that for nine or twelve years and try to think about saving for college so we let it go (and didn’t regret it). I know people whose kids still attend in different areas and it seems more affordable, maybe $2500 with discounts if parents volunteer. I also know people who sent their kids to the more costly private schools and they made some tough choices in order to do so (including divorce in one case since they lived in areas with some of the best schools already and one partner didn’t see the point). In that case the kids themselves made the choice later to take themselves out of those privates as they didn’t feel like they fit in and preferred public. We’re fortunate we live in an area with good public schools.

I am a product of parochial schools as well, partly why I sent my son to private school. Our schools didn't offer discounts for volunteering- mine or his. I like that idea though.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Add in another 100k for K-12 education if you send them to private school.

I think that's lowballing by quite a bit. I'd say more than double...not including summer or after school activities.

 

[NotUrsula]

Genuine question: how much do adults "cost" per year?

Well, assuming that they don't earn any money of their own, don't maintain their own household and a personal car, and don't attend school that requires tuition or fees, about $20K at bottom, presuming that they have basic & frugal taste in clothing, stay pretty healthy, and don't have any expensive hobbies that require supplies. $20K happens to be the average social security income of US retirees. I'd say for the average adult who is living with at least one other adult and not working for pay, the normal basic cost of living, including some of life's small extras, is probably closer to $37K in lower-cost areas, and probably closer to $50K in places with high COL indices.

For most adults who have to carry rent/mortgage costs, I think rock bottom is about $28K if you have a basic motor vehicle but no debt to service. The more people you live with and share basic housing expenses with, the lower it goes, but few families forego all extras.

 

[NotUrsula]

People in their 20's today are no poorer than people in their 20's were 100 years ago. What has changed are people's values.

No, not so much. Inflation counts a LOT in this context.

Let's take for instance a near-in suburban area not far from where I live that happens to be a wonderland of Sears Kit homes. In 1922, the Sears Langston (1300 sq.ft. 2 story American Foursquare with siding or stucco) cost $2025 shipped to your site, though you had to have it constructed when it arrived, and many people did the work themselves, but if you didn't, that would cost about $1300 extra because all the parts were pre-cut. You could buy a 1/4 acre to put it on for about $150 here. So, that's just about $3500 for the basic cost of the home at the time it was built. At the time, the average pay for a man in his mid-20s here, with a high school diploma, was $35/week, so just over $1800 annually. Social Security tax didn't exist at the time, so he took home a higher percentage than we do now, thus the avg. wage-earner could pay (by himself!) for that house in 3 years with plenty left over. (BTW, there was regular train and streetcar service there then, no need to own a car to get to work downtown. That's gone now.)

The neighborhood where all those Sears homes were built has a somewhat historical preservation bent, so there happen to be a whole lot of them still there, and most of them don't have a lot of changes, except probably having done a DIY basement finishing job and maybe building a garage out back. The average price for one of those homes a year ago, before the wild inflation hit, was just about $300,000. The majority of residents are just about 30, so a little older than our mythical guy from 1922, but the avg. income is $53K. With current taxes and insurance costs what they are, the average homeowner in that area, on one income, MIGHT manage to pay off the current purchase price in 8 years if he didn't have any other debt and threw pretty much everything at it, though he wouldn't be likely to do that.

In 1922, if you broke your arm, getting it set cost the average worker about 10 days' pay. Now, if you break your arm, it tends to cost about 40 days' pay to fix. The cost has essentially quadrupled in terms of how much work-time it takes to pay for the service.

The worst of the inflation has happened since 1974, costs rose rather slowly overall before then, but began to climb really steeply after the Energy crisis. The complaints then were a lot like the ones now, and for the first time married women became more likely to work for pay than not, to cover the increased cost of living. (I was in my early teens at the time; Moms going back to work was a huge issue in our neighborhood.)

 

[Cheburashka]

Let's take for instance a near-in suburban area not far from where I live that happens to be a wonderland of Sears Kit homes. In 1922, the Sears Langston (1300 sq.ft. 2 story American Foursquare with siding or stucco) cost $2025 shipped to your site, though you had to have it constructed when it arrived, and many people did the work themselves, but if you didn't, that would cost about $1300 extra because all the parts were pre-cut. You could buy a 1/4 acre to put it on for about $150 here. So, that's just about $3500 for the basic cost of the home at the time it was built. At the time, the average pay for a man in his mid-20s here, with a high school diploma, was $35/week, so just over $1800 annually. Social Security tax didn't exist at the time, so he took home a higher percentage than we do now, thus the avg. wage-earner could pay (by himself!) for that house in 3 years with plenty left over. (BTW, there was regular train and streetcar service there then, no need to own a car to get to work downtown. That's gone now.)

The neighborhood where all those Sears homes were built has a somewhat historical preservation bent, so there happen to be a whole lot of them still there, and most of them don't have a lot of changes, except probably having done a DIY basement finishing job and maybe building a garage out back. The average price for one of those homes a year ago, before the wild inflation hit, was just about $300,000. The majority of residents are just about 30, so a little older than our mythical guy from 1922, but the avg. income is $53K. With current taxes and insurance costs what they are, the average homeowner in that area, on one income, MIGHT manage to pay off the current purchase price in 8 years if he didn't have any other debt and threw pretty much everything at it, though he wouldn't be likely to do that.

Homes cost more today, sure, but most middle class people (except in huge cities like NYC) buy homes even without having children. That's my point. The article conflates costs that most middle class people would face even without kids.

 

[NotUrsula]

Homes cost more today, sure, but most middle class people (except in huge cities like NYC) buy homes even without having children. That's my point. The article conflates costs that most middle class people would face even without kids.

With all due respect, that's not the topic of the statement I replied to. (And besides that, IME, at least, it doesn't always hold true. Most couples I know who really do not intend to ever procreate tend to live in condos unless one of them works in real estate or in the building trades in some capacity, or if one or both of them is really into gardening. Most of the rest of them love traveling so much that they don't want the responsibility of yard upkeep.)

 

[ronandannette]

They can have kids if they want to. People have always made financial sacrifices to have kids. Your friends choose not to. Again, values.

By far our highest "expense" in raising our son would have been my lost income during the 8 years I stayed home with him. Conservatively, doing simple math, it would have been $450,000 before taxes and childcare. (That was 20'ish years ago, based on my salary when I quit.)

I'm not sure if the article took that kind of thing into account. And the fact is, we didn't consider it a sacrifice - we never gave it a moment's thought, actually. It was a choice about the kind of life we wanted and we just went forward, making due with the ebbs-and-flows of DH's single income. No way to guess what our net worth now might have been if we'd made different choices but I wouldn't really change anything, if I could.

 

[theMoreDisneytheBetter]

Mine went K-12 in Austin and it came in around 100k. That's without endless fees and extras added in. But the cost of tuition at his schools has gone up significantly since he was there.

You are very fortunate. Where we live private schools (not parochial) run start at $40k/year and go up from there, with virtually no chance at financial aid. A neighbor used to have 3 kids in private. He called it his "porsche a year" plan. Heck, there were preschools when DS was applying in NYC that were $40k, and that was years ago.

My kids go to public school, to be clear.

I think the range around that $300k estimate is huge. Families from the very poor to the very rich figure out how to make it work. So much of it comes down to how much you earn and how you choose to spend your money.

 

[tvguy]

$240,000 in 2012 would be $309,704.26 today, so it appears that the cost of raising a child has gone down when adjusted for inflation.

You want to see something scary? Look at your Social Security Earnings statement.....then try and figure out what you did with all that money.

 

[EilonwyWanderer]

K-12 public school might be free, but keep in mind that school lets out around 2 and that's impossible for working parents to manage so around here I'm paying $1100/month for after school care for 2 kids. Also factor in summer camps, which for one month cost us $3400 for two kids and that was on the cheaper side. That's just one month when you usually need around 2.5 in the summer if you're working. That's not taking into account people who need before-school care since school starts around 8:15 every day and if you need to be in the office by 9 and you don't live near where you work (which will often skyrocket cost of living) you also need to pay for before school care that starts at 7 am.

I don't think these articles are anti-kid or anti-parenting, I think they're trying to point out how ridiculous costs have gotten. Daycare nearly ruined us. It cost my husband's entire paycheck and some of mine every month for 1 infant. The only reason he didn't stop working was because while doing the math we factored in raises and promotions during a 5 year period and then trying to get into the work force after that gap and while we basically ate mostly pasta during that time, it worked out better to have him keep working. Want to get in at a cheaper place? Get on a waitlist 5 years BEFORE YOU CONCEIVE and then make sure you're pregnant when that spot opens up. It's insane.

Then there's the added costs of baby food pouches and diapers and clothes they grow out of in 3 months when they're younger, 6 months when they're older, etc etc. Even if you're great at finding deals it adds up like crazy.