At what age do you stop taking your adult child on vacation?

[Disneybuckeye]

We just returned from a week in Florida with my whole family. We covered all costs for our 27, 26, and 23 year old. We spent about $600 in alcohol alone. We had a great time. Yes, we are lucky DH has a good job and we can afford it. I love spending time with all 3 kids as it does not happen often enough.

 

[ceecee]

Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

We just returned from a week in Florida with my whole family. We covered all costs for our 27, 26, and 23 year old. We spent about $600 in alcohol alone. We had a great time. Yes, we are lucky DH has a good job and we can afford it. I love spending time with all 3 kids as it does not happen often enough.

Our kids are a bit younger, but this is us

 

[Chocolate Cake]

Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind.

I agree. Couldn't imagine leaving a 19 year old kid behind because he or she is technically an adult and should be expected to pay. Gosh, it took until my 30's and a well established job to be able to afford the types of trips we go on now. And, like many have said, we truly enjoy being around our children.

 

[kimmar067]

DDs were with us this past Oct and we really didn't get to experience F&W as we did the past 2 years without them with us. 30 minutes in a park and they'd be begging to leave. When we walked around WS to look at the booths, they didn't want to walk...they wanted stuff but didn't want to get in line (and the lines weren't bad). They are going with us again but we're staying at BWV and they'll be on their own to do as they please...LOL.

....I'm sure that issues will arise....we aren't with them 24/7 at home, so it'd be 'awkward' to have them 'joined at the hip' so to speak. If I've learned anything over the years vacaying with relatives at WDW, it's to let them have their own space and 'separate time' and just get together for some nostalgic ride-going, shows, and sit-down dinners and such....

 

[bdcp]

This September we're taking our first vacation as a family in 11 years. Oldest DS is 32 and youngest is 29. Youngest DS is married. We're going to the beach for a week and will pay for the condo and some meals. We expect them to pick up some of the costs too. For most of the time they were in college, they worked during the summers so we didn't go anywhere. We don't pay for their vacations usually as they are both employed and can do their own, but occasionally we will go together as a family. It's more than our parents ever did and we never expected them to do so.

DH and I vacation 2-3 times per year and our kids are welcome to vacation themselves when they feel like it

Our vacations as a whole family will be occasional and never "expected". We have friends who have grown kids (35, 37 and 40) who have some expectation of their parents paying for vacations (cruises in particular) that can break the bank since it' includes SO's and grandchildren (8 of them).

 

[minniecarousel]

We're getting ready to book the Grand Californian for next December. Hopefully, both sons & their families will be joining us. It's a dream vacation for this grandma! We def pay for the room (DVC) & we'll decide later whether this will be their Christmas gifts!

 

[RustManFan]

I still take mine but we share costs. I generally pay for what would be the same with or without them... like rental car or hotel or b&b. Everyone pays for meals and transportation but tickets usually a Christmas gift. My DD, DSIL and DS are excellent travel companions!

 

[NHdisneylover]

I agree. Couldn't imagine leaving a 19 year old kid behind because he or she is technically an adult and should be expected to pay. Gosh, it took until my 30's and a well established job to be able to afford the types of trips we go on now. And, like many have said, we truly enjoy being around our children.

and I cannot imagine telling my DS17 that even though his 19 year old sister got to go on vacations and trips with us on just about every one of the numerous school breaks through highschool, he does not get to simply because she is now in university and cannot join us.

I think that would be totally unfair to him. When she is able to be with us (this Christmas, for example) we pay for her flights home (not cheap to fly to Europe over Christmas!) and make an effort to plan a trip she would enjoy and go as a family, but we also still took a trip on his fall break and will for spring break with him as well (just as she got for all those breaks in highschool). There is no way she could join us both because the breaks for uni are not the same as DS's breaks from school and because we could not afford to fly her home for the trips even if they were (university costs are not low!). I am sure she feels a bit left out--not in a "how dare they not take me" sort of way but just in a "sometimes growing u stinks and I miss my family" kind of way--likewise, it felt ODD and a bit lonely on our trip this fall when she was not with us--but this is part of growing up and life and it is OK..and she gets to do fun things without us too, like a retreat in a mountain town with her college friends the week after she goes back to school and a trip to Puerto Vallarta this spring.

 

[uccats97]

My 4 kids will be the exact same ages as yours in November! Small world. We take trips several times a year. Sometimes the oldest can come along, sometimes he can't. He's in college and lives 2 hours away. It feels odd traveling without him but we can't keep the other kids from traveling because their older brother is growing up. We don't intentionally travel without him. I'd love if he could come with us all the time. I discuss travel plans with him before choosing dates that way if he wants to go, we can plan the trip to accommodate his schedule. If he doesn't want to go, we travel
when it's convenient for the rest of us. It does save a lot of money at Disney because rooms for 5 are a lot cheaper than rooms for 6. I usually give him some extra money when we vacation without him. Not necessarily what his part of the trip would cost, but a little extra to allow him to splurge on something while we're on vacation and he's at school.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

and I cannot imagine telling my DS17 that even though his 19 year old sister got to go on vacations and trips with us on just about every one of the numerous school breaks through highschool, he does not get to simply because she is now in university and cannot join us.

I think that would be totally unfair to him. When she is able to be with us (this Christmas, for example) we pay for her flights home (not cheap to fly to Europe over Christmas!) and make an effort to plan a trip she would enjoy and go as a family, but we also still took a trip on his fall break and will for spring break with him as well (just as she got for all those breaks in highschool). There is no way she could join us both because the breaks for uni are not the same as DS's breaks from school and because we could not afford to fly her home for the trips even if they were (university costs are not low!). I am sure she feels a bit left out--not in a "how dare they not take me" sort of way but just in a "sometimes growing u stinks and I miss my family" kind of way--likewise, it felt ODD and a bit lonely on our trip this fall when she was not with us--but this is part of growing up and life and it is OK..and she gets to do fun things without us too, like a retreat in a mountain town with her college friends the week after she goes back to school and a trip to Puerto Vallarta this spring.

I totally agree with this. Sometimes all kids can go, sometimes only one can go. That's just the way it is with busy schedules. But I feel like I hit the lottery when all of us have schedules that line up!

My "what the heck" moment comes when families leave a teenager at home because they are technically an adult and "must pay their own way". No money at 19? Stay home! 21, broke, and in grad school? Stay home! I find that sad.

 

[MommyinHonduras]

Wow I am amazed homany think he should get to go with all paid by mom and dad. I am of the camp that part of being an adult is paying your way unless it is offered, and the OP was not planning to offer. I paid my own way through college and was raised in a family where budget was always tight. Things changed when I went away to college and they bought a new house and a boat. I was happy for them and never thought they should have paid for my college instead. Entitlement is ruining the future generations. College should be the priority to a 20 year old in this case, adulting sometimes is not fun but suck it up and mature.

 

[design_mom]

I don't think there's a "one right answer" to this question.

My family always took one summer "family vacation" every year. Sometimes there were other smaller "long weekend" type trips, but in general there was only one week-or-longer vacation per year and it was during the summer.

My parents included me in the annual summer family vacation until I had graduated from college and was living as a self-sufficient adult. The summer vacation was always planned well in advance and I was always able to negotiate the time off from whatever job I had for the summer. However, by going on the family vacation, I was expected to participate with the family and not go off by myself or complain that I was bored. I am not sure what would have happened if I'd said I didn't want to go. The thought never occurred to me at the time.

For the shorter, long-weekend types of trips, I was invited if our schedules matched up, but they did not stay home just because I couldn't go. I remember feeling sad/disappointed sometimes that I was missing out, but I think it's part of growing up. I had commitments for school that I needed to fulfill and sometimes commitments mean you have to miss out on something fun. It stinks when it happens, but it is life.

ETA: My oldest is a freshman in high school. I similarly hope that he will want to continue vacationing with us until he's a self-sufficient adult and I will plan for/welcome him to do so until he at least graduates from college. But if he can't, or doesn't want to come, the rest of us won't be staying home.

 

[Iris82]

I last went on holiday with my parents when I was 17, after that they went alone or I went with friends and paid for it myself. I didn't want to go away with them and both my older sisters stopped going away with them around that age too, I think even if they'd have offered to pay i wouldn't have wnated to go, lol. And we were a close family, but I had my own friends/interests.

 

[hsmamato2]

I am sure she feels a bit left out--not in a "how dare they not take me" sort of way but just in a "sometimes growing u stinks and I miss my family" kind of way--likewise, it felt ODD and a bit lonely on our trip this fall when she was not with us--but this is part of growing up and life and it is OK..and she gets to do fun things without us too,

This exactly..... our older kiddo decided a while back that he didn't want to join us on family vacations.... it was harder on me than him,I know that! He just prefers a more solitary type of life,and doesn't enjoy plane travel like the rest of us do.... that said, I always invite him,b/c I love having the entire family with us, but he rarely accepts... I still miss him,and it's been a couple of years since he's gone with us......(then I always buy him souvies b/c I miss him lol) we always have fun, and will continue to do so whoever comes along!

 

[hsmamato2]

truth.... it costs less now that oldest ds opts out (most of the time) we miss him, but saving food money isn't so bad! if we invite him,and he accepts I usually pay,since we invited....

 

[Nancyg56]

Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind.

This is our mantra as well. There are many times when my adult children share costs, but many times we pay the lions share. My children are 40;38; and 36 and all are married. If there was a point that one wanted to join us and could not afford to do so, there would be no question, we would pay. I would never leave one who lives in my home behind, not ever.

 

[cluvsdisney]

My parents started taking a one week vacation without us when we were in 8th and 9th grade. Other times traveled together or whatever was planned for the year...mostly visits to our grandparents in Florida, a road trip or something and we went on a big family vacation to Ireland. The first year my grandmother stayed with us and then the next couple of years one of the college kids in our building would stay with us. We lived in a building and were very close to a few of the families and they would sort of watch out for us and vice versa when they went away. Anyways, it was fun for us to not have mom & dad around for a week and it was great for them to travel together, something they wouldn't have the chance to do later on since my father died when I was 23.

 

[famy27]

I still take trips with my parents, and I am 40! This year, we are returning the favor and bringing my parents with us on an Alaskan cruise. We normally split costs, so that we pay hotel and they pay airfare and everyone pays for their own food, but this trip we are picking up the tab. We love to travel together and have for 40 years.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I had no desire to travel with my parents after about age 18 which worked out well since they never offered. LOL.

In my 20s I wanted to travel with friends and my husband. Not my parents like I was a child.

Now I'm married with kids and my Mom came with us one one WDW trip but she prefers to travel with people her own age.