At what age do you stop taking your adult child on vacation?

[VandVsmama]

In an ideal world with perfect family dynamics, if the parents can afford the extra cost and they don't hold anything passive-aggressive over their adult kids' heads and if the parents WANT to pay for their kids to go with them, then sure! Invite them with you.

However, the situation is often not that simple.

• If the adult child starts to EXPECT it / DEMAND it, then no, you shouldn't invite them along with you every time.
• If inviting the adult children would result in everyone having a miserable time, then don't invite them. For example, your 20-something-aged kids' idea of a great time is to stay out late and drink heavily and go to clubs and you & your spouse like to go to bed early, get up early, and hit the parks at rope drop and your idea of a perfect family vacation is when you all spend every waking moment together.
• If the parent(s) are inviting the adult kids because they want to recreate the family vacations from when the kids were little. It will be much different than that.
• If the parents(s) say that they'll only pay for the adult kids', but not their spouses, significant others, kids, too. It's all or nothing. You can invite them, but tell everybody that you pay for your own way, including food, airfare, incidentals, etc.

 

[eliza61]

Last year my mom wanted to go to paris for a week and then a cruise on the Seine. None of her friends could go, so she took me, all expense paid. I was 41 at the time.

Lol and you mean to say it didn't turn you into an "entitled" adult?

Truthfully the dis is the only place where I've found this to be "unusual". We took a cruise this summer and I met tons of grandparents and parents taking their entire family's on vacation. One women, who is my hero, lol cruises 6 months out of the year and pays for her three adult kids and grandkids to join her on one a year.


I will invite (not force) my kids until I can no longer travel. when they get married I will include their families. God willing.

 

[tcherjen]

The original thread is several years old, and the last post was in May-----it is so easy to miss those dates

Those tricky boxes got me on a earlier thread. (Wedding dress ) I am more careful when posting to a thread now.

 

[Disney Doll]

So here's a monkey wrench that I'll throw in there to everyone that's saying it's all or nothing, my DS 13 has special needs, he will be with my DH and myself his whole life. Since he will be always vacationing with us, do we always invite our other children and their spouses and children to come? And since we will be paying for our special needs DS, does that mean we will be paying for everyone else's too?

No. I think when your other children are adults and married you would not be required to bring them on vacation. However, the child to whom you are referring is not an independent adult. He is a college student who, while technically an "adult" is still relatively depepndent on you.

 

[NewRVLady]

The original thread is several years old, and the last post was in May-----it is so easy to miss those dates

No-it was originally posted January 2015

 

[jump00]

My dd (not ds) started to complain that she didn't want to go to Florida anymore - she wanted California or Europe. I explained that the cost esp. Europe would be double/triple so we would have to wait a while. But my dh surprised me last March with a week at rpr - we had so much fun. My dd was "shocked" we went without her- lol !!! When the kids graduate from University we will do one of those trips but we love Florida so we won't stop going. If they want to come - great !!!

Jump00

 

[cijay]

My parents didn't take their adult children on vacations. We were welcome to come along but we paid. The first time my mother took me on a vacation was to Mexico for my 50th birthday.

 

[kimmar067]

Before it gets too late, I'd have a sit-down with him and stress the importance of not missing school rather than the money issue. I have been I your shoes and can fully appreciate your dilemma. If he can take care of what he'll miss during the vacation, why not start a 'vacay fund' [that HE can contribute to] NOW to defray some of the costs? Good luck with your decision...

 

[lovin'fl]

I stopped going on vacations with my parents in HS sometime. My brother, being 5 years older, had stopped long before I and it was like I was an only child and BORING. Now, in my 40s, I take my mom on vacations with me/us. I usually try to pay as much of the way as she'll allow (for her), but she'll pay for meals and such. We also vacation with DH's entire family, a lot, and always pay our own way (as young as 25 with 3 babies and through to now, 40s with 3 older kids).

Now my kids still go and DS is in his 1st year of college and DDs are juniors in HS. We have them all booked on a cruise with us in Aug and I think that will be the last time I include DS as he gripes and complains about having to go on vacations with us (though he probably won't gripe about the cruise, he likes those). The last time we took him to WDW, Aug 2015, he was bored and begged us not to make him go next time...okay, done! We just got back from 2 nights in NYC with all the inlaws and all 3 college boys complained and didn't join us in touring. I bought a City Pass booklet for DS that was wasted. We had to get an extra room for the 3 boys and that wasn't cheap either. We went to a Broadway show and one of the boys tried to not go, at $200 a ticket (he wasn't feeling well though). Then on check out day, we had to be out of rooms by noon but were in the City until 7:40pm to do some last bit of touring. The one boy (who wasn't feeling well, age 22) got his ticket switched to leave at 12:30 because he had no room to hang in until we were able to leave...an extra $100. His parents had their hands full. Could have been me as my DS is very similar...DH and I got lucky that trip.

So I say, when they put a damper on your vacation it's time to leave them home...that time is now for my DS and not too far off for my DDs (who have begun the complaining...as we were going to bed the very 1st night in NYC one of my DDs said to me 'can we go home now?').

 

[kimmar067]

I stopped going on vacations with my parents in HS sometime. My brother, being 5 years older, had stopped long before I and it was like I was an only child and BORING. Now, in my 40s, I take my mom on vacations with me/us. I usually try to pay as much of the way as she'll allow, but she'll pay for meals and such. We also vacation with DH's entire family, a lot, and always pay our own way (as young as 25 with 3 babies and through to now, 40s with 3 older kids).

Now my kids still go and DS is in his 1st year of college and DDs are juniors in HS. We have them all booked on a cruise with us in Aug and I think that will be the last time I include DS as he gripes and complains about having to go on vacations with us (though he probably won't gripe about the cruise, he likes those). The last time we took him to WDW, Aug 2015, he was bored and begged us not to make him go next time...okay, done! We just got back from 2 nights in NYC with all the inlaws and all 3 college boys complained and didn't join us in touring. I bought a City Pass booklet for DS that was wasted. We had to get an extra room for the 3 boys and that wasn't cheap either. We went to a Broadway show and one of the boys tried to not go, at $200 a ticket (he wasn't feeling well though). Then on check out day, we had to be out of rooms by noon but were in the City until 7:40pm to do some last bit of touring. The one boy (who wasn't feeling well, age 22) got his ticket switched to leave at 12:30 because he had no room to hang in until we were able to leave...an extra $100. His parents had their hands full. Could have been me as my DS is very similar...DH and I got lucky that trip. So I say, when they put a damper on your vacation it's time to leave them home...that time is now for my DS and not too far off for my DDs (who have begun the complaining...as we were going to bed the very 1st night in NYC one of my DDs said to me 'can we go home now?').

....funny how you mention that your kids started to get 'bored'....our DSs did too, so, for a few years they didn't join us when we [DH and I] visited WDW....now that they are all in their 20's[yes, and still living at home! ] they'd like to join us once more at WDW....in fact, we are considering a trip in April/May [I won 4 PH passes for WDW at a Tricky Tray event in early December] and we'd pay for their room (with the Disney Visa points that we've accumulated) but they would be responsible for the airfare....

 

[lovin'fl]

....funny how you mention that your kids started to get 'bored'....our DSs did too, so, for a few years they didn't join us when we [DH and I] visited WDW....now that they are all in their 20's[yes, and still living at home! ] they'd like to join us once more at WDW....in fact, we are considering a trip in April/May [I won 4 PH passes for WDW at a Tricky Tray event in early December] and we'd pay for their room (with the Disney Visa points that we've accumulated) but they would be responsible for the airfare....

I have a feeling, in a few years, mine will want to go back too. DH and I will do F&W for the next few years in the meantime. We have DVC and tend to drive to WDW so it would just be the cost of park tickets and food. Maybe we'll pay for dining but the [older] kids would need to get their own park tickets.

This recent trip to NYC, since DS didn't tour with us we didn't pay for his meals and left him to his own devices. I thought about handing him some cash but DH said 'if he wants us to pay for his food then he needs to be with us'. He never even asked us for money, which pleasantly surprised me.

 

[kimmar067]

I have a feeling, in a few years, mine will want to go back too. DH and I will do F&W for the next few years in the meantime...

....we did both the F&GF and F&WF without the boys and, I have to admit, it was a bit weird not having them there....most enjoyable though, since we didn't hear their complaints of boredom and wanting to go back to the resort and what-not....

 

[NHdisneylover]

No-it was originally posted January 2015

you're correct--sorry. I must have been trying to talk while I typed and as I know I was thinking the thread was almost a year old, NOT "several years old" as I ended up typing. In either case----I am sure things have been dealt with one way or the other by OP by now.

 

[lovin'fl]

....we did both the F&GF and F&WF without the boys and, I have to admit, it was a bit weird not having them there....most enjoyable though, since we didn't hear their complaints of boredom and wanting to go back to the resort and what-not....

DDs were with us this past Oct and we really didn't get to experience F&W as we did the past 2 years without them with us. 30 minutes in a park and they'd be begging to leave. When we walked around WS to look at the booths, they didn't want to walk...they wanted stuff but didn't want to get in line (and the lines weren't bad). They are going with us again but we're staying at BWV and they'll be on their own to do as they please...LOL.

 

[longboard55]

25 and and counting. I think a lot stop in high school because kids are a pain in high school on vacation, but we are past that now and have a good time. We only have one and she has a good job and works hard so we will continue. Not every trip but one blow out to DW once a year usually with her boy friend. My parents where children of the depression and would never consider such a gift even though they could afford it. I would be jealous when I saw the group families having fun. So we compensate.

 

[minnie56]

Our two daughters are 31 and 29 and we adore it when we're all together on vacation!
We took them on a Baltic cruise this past July and as the younger one lives in NYC we took the older one there in October to visit which we do a few times a year. They're both hard working young ladies ..busy lives and we snag them when we can, I love Mum / Daughter trips too!

 

[PaHunter]

Well I left home at age 17 to serve in the military, my 18th birthday was during basic training. And have never been on vacation with the family since leaving to fend and be my own person. That was 30 years ago.

 

[Mambo Junkie]

We have always taken our son, then my son and his girlfriend, then my son and his wife, now my son, his wife and 2 beautiful granddaughters, and I wouldn't have it any other way. We also take solo couples trips, but my enjoyment comes from theirs.

ETA: It's really whatever works for your family and your budget. We are fortunate to be able to do this. We do, however, ask them to buy their own extras. We supply the room, park tickets, meals, and airline tickets.

 

[MrsDuck]

EDIT: rats! Zombie! Sorry.

 

[IceSkatingPrincess]

I'm 22, married, and still go on vacations with my Mom. I generally pay my own flight there and for some of my own meals, but we like spending time together (live in different states). We did Washington DC/Disney this year and want to do Puerto Rico within 2016. My older siblings with children never go, however I think this is more due to financial circumstance. If they paid their own flights I am positive they would be welcome as well.