and I cannot imagine telling my DS17 that even though his 19 year old sister got to go on vacations and trips with us on just about every one of the numerous school breaks through highschool, he does not get to simply because she is now in university and cannot join us.
I think that would be totally unfair to him. When she is able to be with us (this Christmas, for example) we pay for her flights home (not cheap to fly to Europe over Christmas!) and make an effort to plan a trip she would enjoy and go as a family, but we also still took a trip on his fall break and will for spring break with him as well (just as she got for all those breaks in highschool). There is no way she could join us both because the breaks for uni are not the same as DS's breaks from school and because we could not afford to fly her home for the trips even if they were (university costs are not low!). I am sure she feels a bit left out--not in a "how dare they not take me" sort of way but just in a "sometimes growing u stinks and I miss my family" kind of way--likewise, it felt ODD and a bit lonely on our trip this fall when she was not with us--but this is part of growing up and life and it is OK..and she gets to do fun things without us too, like a retreat in a mountain town with her college friends the week after she goes back to school and a trip to Puerto Vallarta this spring.