Another Wedding Spinoff--Alcohol at Reception

[nugov2]

I don't think you should charge at either venue.

I agree. I think it it is completely inappropriate to have a cash bar. I was just making the point people would never consider charging for alcohol for any type of party in a home, even if they hired a catering company and the money for alcohol was going to that company.

 

[nugov2]

I'm curious, have you even actually experienced this, being charged in someone's backyard? Or are you supposing? Because that I've never heard of!

No, never!! But I've also never been to a wedding, shower, anniversary etc party with a cash bar either. I didn't realize cash bar was a common thing thats why I was making the point that I found it as odd as charging at a backyard catered event.

 

[gemini2727]

No, never!! But I've also never been to a wedding, shower, anniversary etc party with a cash bar either. I didn't realize cash bar was a common thing thats why I was making the point that I found it as odd as charging at a backyard catered event.

Oh ok! Misunderstood your post, I thought you thought that would be ok, lol.

 

[CPanther95]

I'm going to try getting some cash out of a bunch of family coming over Monday for a Memorial day picnic.

I already told them we'd have hot dogs and hamburgers, so they will expect them for free - but I bet I could get a buck per bun.

 

[nugov2]

I'm going to try getting some cash out of a bunch of family coming over Monday for a Memorial day picnic.

I already told them we'd have hot dogs and hamburgers, so they will expect them for free - but I bet I could get a buck per bun.

especially if you serve everyone later than usual to get them really hungry and spring the upcharge on them when the burgers are ready. They'll have no choice but to hand over the money...of course have a portable cc machine on hand just in case someone doesn't carry cash on them!

 

[gina2000]

For the life of me I can't figure out why "cover your plate" is tacky and "cover you drinks" is not. Is not the first a generous gift guideline and the second a cash outlay designed to defray cost? Are they both not helping the newlyweds with the cost of a reception?

 

[powellrj]

Serious question, do people not serve punch anymore?

 

[Aliceacc]

^^ Around here, only at showers.

 

[CPanther95]

Serious question, do people not serve punch anymore?

Rarely it seems. Probably the same reason nobody does chocolate fountains any longer.

Our society is in a perfect storm where most people are more germ-aware at the same time that most people haven't been taught to cover their mouth when they sneeze.

 

[msjprincess]

Serious question, do people not serve punch anymore?

I've had punch at showers, but never at a wedding.

 

[maxiesmom]

Exactly!! I've been to cake & punch weddings, I've been to full on sit down dinners. I'm not snobby in the least about what a person chooses to serve, I just think it's strange to host an event and charge for upgrades -- charging an "upgrade" for alcohol, in my mind, would be no different than charging an "upgrade" for steak, or the good cake.

Cash bars are normal around here.

 

[powellrj]

I am going to have to pay more attention before DD gets married. She doesn't even have a boyfriend yet, so we have lots of time to figure out weddings and what is current!

 

[gemini2727]

I am going to have to pay more attention before DD gets married. She doesn't even have a boyfriend yet, so we have lots of time to figure out weddings and what is current!

Tell her it's all the rage to elope! Weddings are so yesterday...

 

[CPanther95]

Tell her it's all the rage to elope! Weddings are so yesterday...

... and if they don't elope, drill into their heads that there's nothing of any substance you can get from a caterer that you can't get in a Lunchable.

 

[Hrhpd]

Serious question, do people not serve punch anymore?

Not even at kid's birthday parties. Parents are often invited as a secondary adult party and there is always wine and beer and usually martinis and cosmos.

I don't think I have ever been to a dry wedding, whether it was all provided or it was a cash bar. I have way more to worry about than the etiquette of whether it is bad manners or not to have to pay for a glass of wine. I am just glad I have the opportunity to have that glass of wine with dinner. I appreciate it when it is provided, but don't mind at all if I have to pay for it.

 

[SirDuff]

I agree. I think it it is completely inappropriate to have a cash bar. I was just making the point people would never consider charging for alcohol for any type of party in a home, even if they hired a catering company and the money for alcohol was going to that company.

I get what you are saying. However, I just find the two situations different. I cannot justify my feeling, I just do. I'm okay with a cash bar (though it isn't the norm here), but would find charging at home very weird. Again, though, I don't drink and maybe I'd feel differently if I did.

 

[shoney]

For the life of me I can't figure out why "cover your plate" is tacky and "cover you drinks" is not. Is not the first a generous gift guideline and the second a cash outlay designed to defray cost? Are they both not helping the newlyweds with the cost of a reception?

I completely agree. With the average gift here being $200 per couple ,more for closer relatives ,I can't imagine someone having a cash bar.

No matter how you look at it....the gifts seem to match the type of party

 

[nugov2]

I get what you are saying. However, I just find the two situations different. I cannot justify my feeling, I just do. I'm okay with a cash bar (though it isn't the norm here), but would find charging at home very weird. Again, though, I don't drink and maybe I'd feel differently if I did.

Just for grins....think this scenario over. Wedding at someone's home....cash bar? Is it now inappropriate because it is someone's house vs a hall?

I just think when you are hosting a party it is appropriate to provide all the food/drink etc the same way you would in a home. Like someone else said it is no different than providing cake, but making people pay for ice cream or giving them chicken with the option of steak for $10 more. If you cannot afford it, don't offer it at a cost to your guests.

Maybe you could give the bride/groom half of their gift and offer them the other half at a set price if they really want it

Full disclosure I like to drink, but go to plenty of parties and even weddings where I drink nothing.

 

[jrmasm]

Serious question, do people not serve punch anymore?

I'm fine with punch as long as I don't have to pay for it.

 

[DawnM]

We had a dry wedding. I don't think anyone was expecting alcohol because we are pretty churchy and have never served alcohol at any event we hosted, I was under age and our church was dry.

Conservative Church wedding here. No alcohol.