Another Wedding Spinoff--Alcohol at Reception

[mummabear]

Why does a plus 1 have to be a random hook up from last weekend, why can't it be a long term relationship. Why does everyone go to the extreme...alcohol means drunks running amuck and people driving home intoxicated and +1s are randoms that you did the walk of shame from their apartment last weekend.

Because if they were in a long term relationship they wouldnt be single. (the question was should single people get a +1), A longterm partner would be named on the invite.
I have heard of weddings (my dad went to one, a co-worker) where partners werent invited though, I think that is rude.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

To me, a +1 truly does mean a rather random person. For our wedding, If some one was in a long term relationship (or not even that long term) then their sig other was specifically invited by name. I was adamant that I didn't want people DH or I didn't know at our wedding. So no random coworkers of parents, no fourth cousins twice removed, and no "Suzy and guest"

ETA:

It was an open bar, so the singles were free to get totally drunk and hook up with each other if they wanted. As far as so known no one did, but as a good host I provided the option

This is what a friend is doing and what I would do. I don't want random people at my wedding.

For us, everyone invited would know Each other. No random people would be invited.

single friend Dennis did not get a +1 but he knows everyone anyway. Along with a few other singles. If I invited coworkers their spouse would be included.

My friend actually limited her invites to only spouses, fiancé or long term live in couples. No girlfriends or boyfriends invited. So cousin frank who has a girlfriend of 15 months can't bring her. The invite us to only him. She had to draw the line somewhere.

Everyone can mingle at the open bar.

 

[mjkacmom]

This is what a friend is doing and what I would do. I don't want random people at my wedding.

For us, everyone invited would know Each other. No random people would be invited.

single friend Dennis did not get a +1 but he knows everyone anyway. Along with a few other singles. If I invited coworkers their spouse would be included.

My friend actually limited her invites to only spouses, fiancé or long term live in couples. No girlfriends or boyfriends invited. So cousin frank who has a girlfriend of 15 months can't bring her. The invite us to only him. She had to draw the line somewhere.

Everyone can mingle at the open bar.

My friend had the cutoff of couples that were together when they got engaged, a year before the wedding. DH (boyfriend for 8 months when the wedding happened) wasn't invited, same with another couple who started dating a couple of months after the engagement. We've been married over 20 years, while many couples at the wedding are no longer together. But, you have to draw the line somewhere!

 

[Hrhpd]

My wedding, everyone could bring someone, didn't care if they had met them the day before or the decade before. If I couldn't afford that, I would have sought out a different venue, it was that important to me. (We had an open bar.)

But this thread reminds me of one recently where a couple was invited to an out of state wedding for a semi-distant relative and the OP was wondering if they could just substitute their daughter. Many people said that was fine, they had 2 invites, so it didn't really matter who attended. But this thread shows that it does really matter, spouses may be invited but not children.

 

[mummabear]

My wedding, everyone could bring someone, didn't care if they had met them the day before or the decade before. If I couldn't afford that, I would have sought out a different venue, it was that important to me. (We had an open bar.)

But this thread reminds me of one recently where a couple was invited to an out of state wedding for a semi-distant relative and the OP was wondering if they could just substitute their daughter. Many people said that was fine, they had 2 invites, so it didn't really matter who attended. But this thread shows that it does really matter, spouses may be invited but not children.

In that thread there was also many people saying that the invite was not for 2 but for "Sarah and Mark" if Mark is t coming Sarah can't decide to bring someone else instead

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Singles pretty much always get a +1 here. I took someone I'd known for 15 days to my best friend's 2nd wedding. LOL

 

[littleblackegg]

Ugh. The dreaded cash bar. The reception is a party for beloved friends and family, and the bride and groom are the hosts. I'm a big believer in sinking the majority of the budget into food and beverages. If just wine and beer are out of the budget, just scale down the guest list. A more intimate reception with food and simple white wine/red wine/champagne toast is usually very affordable. I think everyone should look at all the options, like a buffet instead of a plated meal, an appetizer table instead of passed appetizers, etc. There is a really fine line when it comes to guests. Asking them to haul out their wallets is tacky.

 

[kerryamayo]

Ugh. The dreaded cash bar. The reception is a party for beloved friends and family, and the bride and groom are the hosts. I'm a big believer in sinking the majority of the budget into food and beverages. If just wine and beer are out of the budget, just scale down the guest list. A more intimate reception with food and simple white wine/red wine/champagne toast is usually very affordable. I think everyone should look at all the options, like a buffet instead of a plated meal, an appetizer table instead of passed appetizers, etc. There is a really fine line when it comes to guests. Asking them to haul out their wallets is tacky.

I agree. If there is a reason why the couple wants a dry reception, I can accept that. But a cash bar? NO. Listen, I don't invite people to my home and make them pay for drinks. I supply them, alcohol or otherwise. A wedding is just a bigger party, and I find it rude to make guests pay for their drinks.

 

[Hrhpd]

I agree. If there is a reason why the couple wants a dry reception, I can accept that. But a cash bar? NO. Listen, I don't invite people to my home and make them pay for drinks. I supply them, alcohol or otherwise. A wedding is just a bigger party, and I find it rude to make guests pay for their drinks.

If the couple is providing non-alcoholic drinks like iced tea, lemonade, soda or coffee, they are not making the guests pay for their drinks. They are providing an option for those that may want something different.

If the cash bar was the only way to get any kind of refreshment, then I would agree with you.

In essence, the couple is having a dry wedding. Nobody is forcing someone to purchase drinks. If you didn't bring money, just enjoy the non-alcoholic drinks. Personally, I much, much prefer having the option of obtaining a glass of wine during a dry wedding.

I am not getting all this angst that if there is a cash bar, people are completely out of luck if they didn't bring money and the couple should just have a dry wedding if they can't afford a cash bar. Just have soda. It is the same thing you would be drinking if that evil cash bar was not there.

 

[Vernie822]

Omg this thread is still going!?

 

[Pooh2]

Cash bar vs open seems to be a regional thing.
In our area, most weddings we've been to are cash bar. We've been to a few weddings with open bar.
The invitation has never stated either way.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Ugh. The dreaded cash bar. The reception is a party for beloved friends and family, and the bride and groom are the hosts. I'm a big believer in sinking the majority of the budget into food and beverages. If just wine and beer are out of the budget, just scale down the guest list. A more intimate reception with food and simple white wine/red wine/champagne toast is usually very affordable. I think everyone should look at all the options, like a buffet instead of a plated meal, an appetizer table instead of passed appetizers, etc. There is a really fine line when it comes to guests. Asking them to haul out their wallets is tacky.

We had 27 at our reception. Our appetizer was soup and salad.

We also didn't offer any alcohol. Effectively a dry wedding. Now, if you wanted something hard, you could go yourself, or the waitstaff would go for you, to purchase something from the bar. The bar was not located in the reception room. It was out the door, down the stairs and through the restaurant.

Four people purchased drinks. Everyone else was satisfied with soda, tea, water and coffee. No one HAD to haul out their wallet. They just had to drink what we offered.

This was 25 years ago.