Another Wedding Spinoff--Alcohol at Reception

[RedAngie]

It's been many years since I've been to a reception with a cash bar, and I don't remember if there's a proper etiquette.

If a couple has a cash bar, should this be indicated to guests in advance, either on the invitation itself, or as an insert card in the invitation? Or should nothing be said and let the guests be surprised?

The same applies if ONLY wine and beer will be available. (No hard liquor available even for purchase).

Or if it's going to be a totally dry reception, should this also be announced in advance?

I personally would never have a cash bar, but I'm OK with people who do. But I WOULD like to know about it ahead of time.

 

[jrmasm]

I'd say never have a cash bar. Serve whatever you want but don't expect your guests to pay. No notification necessary that way.

 

[Christine]

I don't think it needs to be spelled out.

You're a guest and the only thing you really need to know is if there will be food if a reception is held during a normal meal time. (I do think it's bad form to have a 3 hour reception during the dinner hour and not serve food AND not tell anyone--if you aren't serving food, which happens to be a necessity for some people, then let them know so they can eat beforehand).

As for alcohol, if I wanted to drink I would just be a "prepared" guest and come with money. If it's a cash bar, then I have money; if it's an open bar then the money stays in my pocket. It's not that hard to put some money in your wallet.

 

[Disneylover99]

I've been to both cash bar and open bar weddings. Obviously I prefer the latter. I really don't mind a cash bar, but I think it's proper etiquette to let the guests know in advance.

 

[tvguy]

Well, I'm 5 weeks past my son's wedding. I did not have anything to do with the reception planning but this is what they did.
There was a sign at the bar that said:

"Grey Goose upgrade $10
No-host bar after 10 pm"



Dinner/reception ran from 630 pm until 11 pm. I know the Bride's father paid a flat fee per guest for the hosted bar until 10 pm. And this apparently is the most common option for weddings at this venue.

I don't think advance notice was necessary, and the sign at the bar got it all handled.

 

[shoney]

Around here weddings are normally 5 hours with open bar. If someone were to actually have a cash bar it would be out of the norm. Since most ppl don't carry cash except for maybe some tip money for the bar tenders and valet I think it should be added to the invite. Otherwise u will have some frustrated thirsty guests on ur hand

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

I've been to a couple of dry weddings. I knew they were going to be dry because the brides told me ahead of time. At one, all receptions in her family were dry. She didn't really have a choice as her parents paid for everything. The other was dry for cost reasons.

I don't think I've been to a wedding with a cash bar.

I've been to weddings that only served wine and beer. I almost did that at my reception, but DH really wanted a full open bar. I had narrowed it down to 2 hotel ballrooms and chose the one with the best per person per hour open bar price.

I've been to weddings where the bar charged the couple per drink verses per person per hour. Yikes!!!! One bride told me her bar bill equaled the price of an small car!

To keep the bar tab under control, another couple I know had the full bar open during the cocktail hour. It closed during the multi course sit down dinner, and wine was served with dinner. It opened back up for dancing.

None of the above examples were disclosed on the wedding invitation.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

As a guest, I'd rather have a cash bar than no bar. I'm not a big drinker & I'm pretty much always DD, but my wife likes a drink or two and we'll gladly pay for exactly what she wants.

At our wedding, we pre-purchased all the alcohol based on recommendations from the hall. Anything unopened at the end of the night was to be credited back to us - IIRC, we didn't tap all the beer kegs.

 

[georgina]

Never been to a wedding with a cash bar. My DD is getting married in June; they are planning to buy the alcohol, caterer is supplying the mixers and bartenders. I don't see anything wrong with only serving beer and wine, no notification needed, or having a dry reception that's fine too. I guess if it was a cash bar I would like notification ahead of time.

 

[CPanther95]

EXTREMELY poor etiquette not to spell out exact details for the food and beverages.

 

[DisneyHardin]

Most weddings receptions I've been to that we're at hotels had a cash bar. The bride and groom may be paying for beer and wine, but the hotel bar isn't going to turn down the revenue of selling mixed drinks to those who want them.

 

[minnie mum]

I've been to all kinds of receptions - dry, open, and cash bars. I don't recall notice being given in advance on the alcohol format for any of them. You'll know as soon as you arrive. And who leaves home without cash on them ( just in case?)

 

[brooke789]

One important note is that a 'cash bar' likely takes cash or CCs. At the venue where I work we rarely have cash bars at weddings. It's seen as poor etiquette (at least in our area).
I don't think you need to let people know either way especially if the cash bar took cards.

 

[shoney]

I've been to all kinds of receptions - dry, open, and cash bars. I don't recall notice being given in advance on the alcohol format for any of them. You'll know as soon as you arrive. And who leaves home without cash on them ( just in case?)

I rarely have cash and often have nothing at all...not even a dollar.

 

[MickeySP]

Only been yo one dry wedding, the groom was raging alcoholic. Can you guess that marriage lasted?!

Most weddings I have been to have been evenly split cash & open. Some had open for a specific time, some not at all. I have never thought it was poor etiquette, why should the couple have to foot my drinks?

 

[RedAngie]

As a guest, I'd rather have a cash bar than no bar. I'm not a big drinker & I'm pretty much always DD, but my wife likes a drink or two and we'll gladly pay for exactly what she wants.

At our wedding, we pre-purchased all the alcohol based on recommendations from the hall. Anything unopened at the end of the night was to be credited back to us - IIRC, we didn't tap all the beer kegs.

After I started the thread, I searched around on the internet. According to one snooty site, you're incredibly gauche. A keg at a wedding? If it's absolutely necessary to lower yourself to accommodate the plebeian guests, only high end craft beers in the bottle, please. With a glass, of course.

 

[mamamary]

The only wedding I remember that had no alcohol was the niece of DH who got married about two years ago. It was a rather strange wedding to say the least but there was no alcohol in sight but the reception was in a building that had a bar. Score! Luckily we had cash and credit cards but other people at our table did not????? So we gladly bought drinks for those who needed one.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I just received an invitation to my friend's daughter's wedding. It's going to be held at an outdoor venue where everything will have to be rented (tables, chairs, etc.). They're having the food catered and brought in. My friend has told me they will not be serving any type of alcohol, and it doesn't say so on the invitation. The bride decided against it because she knows that some of her friends are big drinkers at parties. She doesn't want that kind of atmosphere at the reception. Plus, the entrance to the venue is a curvy road and she doesn't want anyone driving drunk.

My wedding reception was held in a banquet room at a restaurant. We had champagne for the toast and wine on the tables for lunch. The restaurant had a cash bar where guests could get drinks if they wanted to, but we didn't have a bar in the reception room.

I don't think food and drink plans need to be spelled out on the invitation, unless you need a count for each specific entrée. The way I see it, I'm a guest. I'm honored to be invited to celebrate with the couple, and I'm grateful for whatever food and drinks they provide.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

I think it depends on where you live. I grew up in an area that has a high Mormon population so most weddings have always been cake and punch receptions. If there has been alcohol available it is usually a cash bar, or one or two types of beer and wine provided and the rest cash. Food tends to be buffet style finger foods. No need to let anyone know, since this is pretty much expected.

My cousin got married to a woman who grew up in an area with a totally different mind set on weddings, so their wedding had an open bar and full meal. She couldn't believe we were use to simpler weddings and probably wouldn't be comfortable with the ones around here.

 

[kimblebee]

I rarely have cash and often have nothing at all...not even a dollar.

Same here. My daughter needed $2 for school the other day and we headed to the atm to get a $20. Between the three of us we couldn't come up with a toonie LOL