Another Wedding Spinoff--Alcohol at Reception

[scrapquitler]

Serious question, do people not serve punch anymore?

At bridal showers and baby showers, yes. But there are two bowls of it. One spiked and one not spiked.

I've never seen punch at a wedding.

 

[tigercat]

My granddaughter got married last year. She lived with us for 3 yrs. and we ended up paying for their wedding. They were both young and struggling. They did not have a large wedding as only 35 people were invited. There was no alcohol served. There was however, coffee, hot tea, lemonade, ice tea and some kind of punch drink. The couple themselves did not want alcohol but I'm not sure if it could have been served there anyway. It was held at a hall in the University where they live and the university did the catering. Everyone seemed to have a good time.

I have to say again if you need alcohol to have a good time than you need to look at yourself. Sorry but that is the way I feel. I have had enough experience with people who drink to see that it does not do anything for you. If you want to drink I don't care but I would never provide it. I provide a lot of other options. As well I guess the friends that I have and enjoy getting together with do not drink. I come from a large family and most do not drink at all and the ones' that do would never think of drinking when the family gets together. And it is usually at one of my brothers houses not mine.
tigercat

 

[gwynne]

My granddaughter got married last year. She lived with us for 3 yrs. and we ended up paying for their wedding. They were both young and struggling. They did not have a large wedding as only 35 people were invited. There was no alcohol served. There was however, coffee, hot tea, lemonade, ice tea and some kind of punch drink. The couple themselves did not want alcohol but I'm not sure if it could have been served there anyway. It was held at a hall in the University where they live and the university did the catering. Everyone seemed to have a good time.

I have to say again if you need alcohol to have a good time than you need to look at yourself. Sorry but that is the way I feel. I have had enough experience with people who drink to see that it does not do anything for you. If you want to drink I don't care but I would never provide it. I provide a lot of other options. As well I guess the friends that I have and enjoy getting together with do not drink. I come from a large family and most do not drink at all and the ones' that do would never think of drinking when the family gets together. And it is usually at one of my brothers houses not mine.
tigercat

I think judging others based on your personal hot button issue is unwise.

 

[gemini2727]

My granddaughter got married last year. She lived with us for 3 yrs. and we ended up paying for their wedding. They were both young and struggling. They did not have a large wedding as only 35 people were invited. There was no alcohol served. There was however, coffee, hot tea, lemonade, ice tea and some kind of punch drink. The couple themselves did not want alcohol but I'm not sure if it could have been served there anyway. It was held at a hall in the University where they live and the university did the catering. Everyone seemed to have a good time.

I have to say again if you need alcohol to have a good time than you need to look at yourself. Sorry but that is the way I feel. I have had enough experience with people who drink to see that it does not do anything for you. If you want to drink I don't care but I would never provide it. I provide a lot of other options. As well I guess the friends that I have and enjoy getting together with do not drink. I come from a large family and most do not drink at all and the ones' that do would never think of drinking when the family gets together. And it is usually at one of my brothers houses not mine.
tigercat

There's a big difference between "need" and "like".
Do I need alcohol? No, I'd survive without it. Would I like it at a wedding? Without a doubt.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

I have had enough experience with people who drink to see that it does not do anything for you.

And I have enough experience with having a cocktail or two to tell you that it does SO MUCH for me

It makes certain situations (like wedding receptions) a whole hell of a lot tolerable.

I think it is difficult for non-drinkers to understand that not everyone drinks to get drunk. For some of us, it is a relaxer. It takes the edge off.

 

[Disney Doll]

My niece was married a few years ago and at her wedding it was only wine and beer. She didn't want liquor because it was more expensive and because her mother is an alcoholic so she didn't want any drama caused by that. There was an outside patio area that had an open cash bar that if anyone wanted to - they could buy their mixed drinks there. It worked out just fine.

So they didn't have an inside bar. They had an outside bar. The mother excuse really doesn't work cuz unless they chained alcoholic mom to the table, she could probably get a drink.

Plus, wine and beer are alcoholic drinks as well.

 

[Hrhpd]

My wedding many years ago was a dry wedding. It was at a hotel though so the people that really wanted alcohol could go and get it. We provided punches, juices and pop free. My fil decided that he couldn't do without getting drunk so had a room in the hotel that he set up with lots of alcohol. He then invited the one's on his side that were all alcoholics up there. That's where my dh's side stayed. Drinking. I was so glad we had gone with a dry wedding and I didn't have to put up with all those alcoholics.

For my daughters wedding my dh and I ended up paying for everything. We said we would pay for a dry wedding. We would provide punches, pop, ice tea, coffee, tea and juices free but NO alcohol. My son-in-law was upset and wanted an open bar. The people that were coming on our side didn't drink alcohol and we were not going to serve alcohol. Sorry but I don't believe in it or want it around me As well the hall we rented was going to cost a lot more because of alcohol. We told him and his family that if they wanted alcohol they could arrange it and they had to pay for the added cost for the hall before arranging anything. They did and then decided to have a cash bar. The caterer ended up being really mad at them because they sold hardly anything at all.

They also wanted champagne for the toasts and we had planned on a sparkling special drink. Again I told them if they wanted it they had to pay for it and pay for the fee for opening it. Didn't happen. They didn't want to have to pay for anything at all but wanted a lot of things.

Oh and the flower budget didn't cost us a cent. My sister had flower arrangements that she had made for a function she did (dried flowers) that were actually in the colours of the wedding. She let us use them.

We did supply lots to drink just not alcoholic drinks. If someone can't survive one evening without alcohol than something is wrong with them.

tigercat

My granddaughter got married last year. She lived with us for 3 yrs. and we ended up paying for their wedding. They were both young and struggling. They did not have a large wedding as only 35 people were invited. There was no alcohol served. There was however, coffee, hot tea, lemonade, ice tea and some kind of punch drink. The couple themselves did not want alcohol but I'm not sure if it could have been served there anyway. It was held at a hall in the University where they live and the university did the catering. Everyone seemed to have a good time.

I have to say again if you need alcohol to have a good time than you need to look at yourself. Sorry but that is the way I feel. I have had enough experience with people who drink to see that it does not do anything for you. If you want to drink I don't care but I would never provide it. I provide a lot of other options. As well I guess the friends that I have and enjoy getting together with do not drink. I come from a large family and most do not drink at all and the ones' that do would never think of drinking when the family gets together. And it is usually at one of my brothers houses not mine.
tigercat

You obviously have a big problem with alcoholic beverages. But to judge everyone who likes a drink as an alcoholic or that people who enjoy a fine wine with dinner as not being able to live without alcohol is not very well informed.

You are free to not drink but don't judge others as alcoholics or that they have a problem living without a drink for one night just because you have a problem with it.

 

[nugov2]

My granddaughter got married last year. She lived with us for 3 yrs. and we ended up paying for their wedding. They were both young and struggling. They did not have a large wedding as only 35 people were invited. There was no alcohol served. There was however, coffee, hot tea, lemonade, ice tea and some kind of punch drink. The couple themselves did not want alcohol but I'm not sure if it could have been served there anyway. It was held at a hall in the University where they live and the university did the catering. Everyone seemed to have a good time.

I have to say again if you need alcohol to have a good time than you need to look at yourself. Sorry but that is the way I feel. I have had enough experience with people who drink to see that it does not do anything for you. If you want to drink I don't care but I would never provide it. I provide a lot of other options. As well I guess the friends that I have and enjoy getting together with do not drink. I come from a large family and most do not drink at all and the ones' that do would never think of drinking when the family gets together. And it is usually at one of my brothers houses not mine.
tigercat

Give me a break! I have to say this if you have to judge people because of your hang up on alcohol than you also need to have a good look at yourself. That's great that works for you, but that doesn't mean its the only way.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

Absolutely not. I was amazed when a prior poster said only tap water was free at a reception she attended. Soft drinks or lemonade, or iced tea, or even punch should be provided free of charge. And of course, hot coffee and tea after dinner, even if the bride never drinks it herself.

I agree. If I went to a wedding reception and had to purchase water, I would probably leave and take my card/gift with me. You can't invite someone to party and not supply even a glass of water. That's ridiculous. I no longer want to celebrate your marriage. I no longer even want to know you at that point. You're a whackadoodle. LOL!

 

[CPanther95]

You obviously have a big problem with alcoholic beverages. But to judge everyone who likes a drink as an alcoholic or that people who enjoy a fine wine with dinner as not being able to live without alcohol is not very well informed.

I don't have any experience with alcoholics in my family, or extended family, but I can see where that would make people wary.

We were raised with it, and even as older kids we could have one glass of wine with dinner (nights with red I would have one, white and I'd pass), so there's never been any kind of stigma associated with it. I raised my kids the same way, so they never looked at it as some mystery beverage that was taboo.

 

[mjkacmom]

My granddaughter got married last year. She lived with us for 3 yrs. and we ended up paying for their wedding. They were both young and struggling. They did not have a large wedding as only 35 people were invited. There was no alcohol served. There was however, coffee, hot tea, lemonade, ice tea and some kind of punch drink. The couple themselves did not want alcohol but I'm not sure if it could have been served there anyway. It was held at a hall in the University where they live and the university did the catering. Everyone seemed to have a good time.

I have to say again if you need alcohol to have a good time than you need to look at yourself. Sorry but that is the way I feel. I have had enough experience with people who drink to see that it does not do anything for you. If you want to drink I don't care but I would never provide it. I provide a lot of other options. As well I guess the friends that I have and enjoy getting together with do not drink. I come from a large family and most do not drink at all and the ones' that do would never think of drinking when the family gets together. And it is usually at one of my brothers houses not mine.
tigercat

So, you had cake. I don't like cake - yes, I admit it. I don't like the taste or the texture, never eat it at parties. Cake is not good for you. However, I don't judge all of the cake loving people out there, had it at my wedding (had the one obligatory bite), and serve it at parties. I guess I'm not a big missjudgypants.

 

[Hikergirl]

I've had pu

My granddaughter got married last year. She lived with us for 3 yrs. and we ended up paying for their wedding. They were both young and struggling. They did not have a large wedding as only 35 people were invited. There was no alcohol served. There was however, coffee, hot tea, lemonade, ice tea and some kind of punch drink. The couple themselves did not want alcohol but I'm not sure if it could have been served there anyway. It was held at a hall in the University where they live and the university did the catering. Everyone seemed to have a good time.

I have to say again if you need alcohol to have a good time than you need to look at yourself. Sorry but that is the way I feel. I have had enough experience with people who drink to see that it does not do anything for you. If you want to drink I don't care but I would never provide it. I provide a lot of other options. As well I guess the friends that I have and enjoy getting together with do not drink. I come from a large family and most do not drink at all and the ones' that do would never think of drinking when the family gets together. And it is usually at one of my brothers houses not mine.
tigercat

But if you don't drink then you really don't know. I would love to know just what your experience is, I mean there are many levels of drinking, from a glass of wine at dinner to an all out keg and hard liquor frat house party. One shouldn't make such general statements about people who enjoy drinking at a wedding if they really have no personal experience with alcohol.

 

[CPanther95]

If someone thinks it does nothing for you, they aren't doing it right.

Same with coffee and love making.

(those are meant to be two separate examples - not that there's some way to combine both into a higher level experience)

 

[Annadesu]

My family is very much "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO BEER?!" when it comes to family events. When I got married, I had an open bad, but I put a cap on it so that people wouldn't go nuts. They feel that since guests traveled, got hotel rooms, got you a gift, etc. that the least you can do is give them some booze. Not all people share this opinion, but there you are.

 

[Cantw8]

ITA.
You can survive without food, music, getting dressed up, dancing, etc., but it wouldn't be much of a party, would it?
Many, many people can and do drink moderately with no problem

I am not one of them

 

[mi*vida*loca]

My family is very much "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO BEER?!" when it comes to family events. When I got married, I had an open bad, but I put a cap on it so that people wouldn't go nuts. They feel that since guests traveled, got hotel rooms, got you a gift, etc. that the least you can do is give them some booze. Not all people share this opinion, but there you are.

That's how we see it also.

If I'm throwing a party at a venue and I couldn't afford to have open bar, I would downgrade the venue or the type of party. It's that important to ME. It's up there with having good food. I would NEVER throw a party without food and I wouldn't throw a party without alcohol.

 

[DawnM]

Same goes for food.

Personally, I set my sights higher than just insuring the survival of my guests.

For us, it was about not being offensive. We had more people coming who were absolutely against alcohol than those who wanted it.

Since we also had a lot of out of town guests who were driving a few hours each way, we decided the best way to deal with all of it was to have a buffet luncheon. Most drinkers wouldn't care if they didn't get alcohol for a noon meal, and that way we weren't offending anyone either.

I know many can't understand that, but in many conservative religious groups, drinking is not something they do.

 

[CPanther95]

For us, it was about not being offensive. We had more people coming who were absolutely against alcohol than those who wanted it.

Since we also had a lot of out of town guests who were driving a few hours each way, we decided the best way to deal with all of it was to have a buffet luncheon. Most drinkers wouldn't care if they didn't get alcohol for a noon meal, and that way we weren't offending anyone either.

I know many can't understand that, but in many conservative religious groups, drinking is not something they do.

I noticed that when we moved down South. The conservative religious groups up North didn't have a problem with alcohol, but in the South some of them consider even a drop of it to be forbidden.

At my daughters wedding, we actually had one table where we sat all those that felt that way and located it in the back, off to the side, so they wouldn't be in the middle of people drinking. They still had fun, they just left before the party got into full gear.

I'll also add that the time of the reception also has an impact on the expectations of the guests. My assumption would be open bar if it was a dinner time reception - and definitely if there was going to be a band or DJ. If it was labeled a "luncheon", I wouldn't make any assumptions.

 

[pryncess527]

For us, it was about not being offensive. We had more people coming who were absolutely against alcohol than those who wanted it.

Since we also had a lot of out of town guests who were driving a few hours each way, we decided the best way to deal with all of it was to have a buffet luncheon. Most drinkers wouldn't care if they didn't get alcohol for a noon meal, and that way we weren't offending anyone either.

I know many can't understand that, but in many conservative religious groups, drinking is not something they do.

I understand a person being against alcohol for themselves.
I don't understand how that is a justification to make choices for other people. Just because many don't drink, doesn't mean they should be offended by being in the mere presence of people who do. That strikes me as extreme.

However, I also concur that it is perfectly reasonable to have a dry luncheon. And don't really care about dry weddings in general, but the idea that a person would choose a dry wedding to avoid offending people who are offended by the mere sight of others drinking strikes me as an extreme accommodation.
I'm from the South, and have many very conservative Christian friends, but I'm grateful that none of them would have expected such an accommodation.

 

[TipsyTraveler]