An Inconvenient Truth: happyhaunt Style! (New... pg. 113!)

[3princesses+aprince]

WAITING FOR MORE

 

[tribus121]

Tribus121's wife: Wait until we get down to WDW. Especially at Epcot. I would love to see that Candy lady, just to see what Sara would do and if she would be picked out of the crowd. Will let ya all know.

Melly, I am totally loving your trip report. You have a great way of telling about your trip. Keep up the great work.

Tribus121's wife

 

[musicmama]

DD just loved your Candy Lady comments. But, she says, CL also says "Candy .. Free candy for children .. taste too good taste too good". Reading your comments, she sat there and did her best CL imitation We waited through 3 (yup, three) shows last December for her to be selected. And, just as she did on our very first trip in 2000, when we met up with CL as an unknown fun thing (hadn't discovered the Dis yet), she requested a hummingbird. It's the wings with DD -- she loves the way CL pulls the wings out and then clips them. I've already said we are NOT waiting that long this time - let some other kids have a shot.

I, on the other hand, was far more interested in the waiter review... Hmm, maybe it's time to rethink Teppanyaki for August.

 

[bornwiththeears]

Mel,

Love your report.....spent last night reading the pages I had missed. Could not get the lunch in France (or was it the waiter) out of my mind. Called a little while ago to adjust our dining schedule....now I have a lunch booked at Chef's. Keep it coming.

Annette

 

[luvmyboys]

Great trippie Mel!

And for the record, there is NOTHING wrong with smelling like a bloomin' onion! In fact, I'd bet the farm that my DH, in a blind "smell test" would prefer me to smell like fried, crispy onion goodness versus something as played out as Chanel No. 5.

Eau de Bloomin Onion-- IT'S THE NEW BLACK!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Just wanted to make a few comments.

Lisa Belle ~ The candy is made of taffy. I think. We never ate ours, though. They are still in the fridge at home, here. Calvin's is slightly broken. By Tommy. Anyhow. She'll do anything you ask for: unicorns, lots of birds, scorpions, snakes yada blah. We saw her do a porcupine which was the cutest thing EVER. I swear. She said, "Very dangerous candy. Very scary. Ow! Ouch! Very painful to eat. Dangerous, dangerous candy!"

She picks people out of the crowd. Does the candy for free. Whatever you ask her for.

I asked her for a Dodo.

She passed me over.

For some reason.

I'm still enraged.

Heh heh.

DisneyNutMary ~ I just about PMP. Heh heh.

mzzzh and Offwego ~ I DO digest some food. Just not the crap we bought from Walmart. If you could call that stuff food. That was treats for the kids. Mostly. I DID have some of the booze. THAT I can digest. My secret for the bikini action is this: remember that the first three bites of any food taste the best. It's all downhill from there. Exercise. Be really active. Enjoy the outdoors. Everything in MODERATION. Except Disney, Dising, and tequila. Ole!

mzzzh and Offwego ~ never take my advice on anything. Especially parenting. Everyone else knows this by now.

Musicmama ~ "CANDY FREE CANDY"!!!! Thanks for that. I just remembered it too. When I read what you wrote. I PMP. Thanks. A lot.

bornwiththeears and luvmyboys ~ The food in France was so good. As long as you like butter, onion and garlic. Go for it!

Eau de Bloomin' Onion. The NEW black.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I'm ded.

DED.

I just got back from camping for three days. I'll get back on this horse ASAP. Probably tomorrow. For a new installment.

Stay tuned.

Tribuslady, patrokls, fizz, MommyP, lactoberge, NM, Tanya, MissM, Lesley(not Tim) and ALL THE REST OF MY DISFRIENDS WHO RESPONDED ~ Hi. Thanks!

ZZUB ~


Later, Mel.

 

[offwegotoneverland]

Thanks for the update...stop the camping!! there are bugs there yikes

So I'm confused...take the three bite rule but don't follow your advice.

And with the three bite rule where does that leave two bit brownies? Or h'orderves at cocktail parties? Dang now I know why I can't wear bikini's...to many flipping apps at parties that don't have three bites so they all keep tasting good.

Oh well at least there is more trip report without pepsi to look forward to.

 

[GeorgiaAristocat]

Well Mel ~
I was quite a few pages back, but saw this

I still have my friend GA Kitty. The lawyer. The nice lawyer. Wow. An oxymoron. There. Oops. Sorry GA.

and had to comment.
and to say that I'm pleased, nay, HONORED to be called a friend. sniff. tears in my eyes.

For that, you get free legal representation the next time you get arrested in my very small jurisdiction in Georgia. or picked on by some lazy barrister from the northwest. Who wouldn't know a good TR if it hit him in his very large head.

Or some KittyKatKaramels. except that they are mostly sugar and butter. I don't know how you feel about that after the incident in France. (No, not the incident with Phillipe. The incident with the Eau de Bloomin' Onion.)

and mopeds:

(I have read all the installments, btw, they are fabulous. But you know that.)

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

So... that's the upside. I guess.

The downside is that we still have 7 more days. Of THIS. Crap.

To go.

Anywho... we bought the three kids Kaki Goris. In Japan. And started to walk towards the U.S.A.

The American Pavillion doesn't have a REAL restaurant by the way. They have a counter service which sells burgers, chicken fingers, hotdogs, fries and the like.

It's always sorta depressed me. There is a wealth of great, amazing food which I think is "American". And should be properly celebrated. In a REAL restaurant. There. Like: Manhattan and New England Clam Chowders, Shoofly Pie, Virginia ham, Gumbo, Po-boy sandwiches, Lobster rolls, Tex-Mex, banana splits, oysters from the Northwest Coast, San Francisco sourdough bread. And let's not forget America's crowning jewel. Of grub. The GREAT FAMOUS Philly Cheesesteak. With Cheez Whiz. That is. Not any other kind of cheese. Because that's just WRONG.

Wrong.

What is the "Whiz" part anyway? And is the "Cheez" still cheese????? I need some answers, people. You can PM me if you want. To avoid grossing the others out.

Then... again... there are other American foods one must avoid. In my opinion. Like: American cheese "food product", jerky, grits, Spam, peanut butter, pork rinds and fried dill pickles. And the WORST of the WORST... Chicken-Fried Steak.

What is "Chicken-Fried Steak"? I don't have a clue. Actually. But, to me, it's like a bad oxymoron. And a double negative. If using grammatical terms.

The trope of litotes.

What I want to say is this: I don't never want none of that!

Heh heh.

Anywho... I think the American Pavillion at EPCOT should have a better restaurant. To celebrate American Culture. Foodstyle.

That is my first message to THE MOUSE. This TR.

I'm pretty sure he's reading this. Too.

Heh heh.

We had to stop in the U.S.A. Because Tommy needed to be cleaned off from his Cherry Kaki Gori.

What he really needed was for me to pop into the shop, there, and buy a new one. A new $30 shirt.

Not gonna happen. My friends.

But, to be truthful, it didn't even cross my mind. I'm way too cheap. At heart.

What I DID do was to take his shirt off. So he could finish his shaved ice treat bare-chested. Turn his skin red. Save the shirt.

I am a classy woman. Let me tell ya.

I am.

Or else I'd have MY shirt off. Enjoying me one Rainbow Kaki Gori. In the sun.

See?

There's always an upside. In life.

You just have to know where to look.

The kids and Mellyman finished their treats. We continued on. Through World Showcase.

Past Italy.

Past Germany.

I stopped dead. In front of Norway.

Me: I guess we better ride Maestrom. Now.
All the other happyhaunts: NO!
Me: I HAVE to.
Mellyman: For ZZUB?
Me: Ha ha! Good one. But, seriously, for the Vikings. My Disfriends.
Mellyman: It's for ZZUB.
Calvin: ZZUB said this. ZZUB said that. ZZUB likes this. ZZUB likes that.
Me: Can it, little man. If you'd like to see the inside of Test Track. Instead of sitting around on your butt on a bench outside.
Mellyman: Touchy touchy.
Me: So... who's going? With me?
Beth: Mommy. I think you are on your own.

They left me. They took the FASTPASSES for Test Track. And left me all alone in front of Maelstrom.

I'd LIKE to say. I rode it. And loved it.

But I CAN'T.

I couldn't do it. Not yet. In the trip.

I knew this: That it would drain my will to live.

So I looked around in the giftshop instead. Saw the Viking PLUTO. And decided that I would buy him. For something. I was gonna do.

But... later.

I left Norway.

With my heart light and happy. For I had NOT ventured into Maelstrom. Yet.

Maelstrom is one of the WORST rides. Ever. In the whole WDW. The whole world. Truth be told.

And... get THIS... it is a FASTPASS! Ride.


Ha Ha!


I ran to Test Track. Full-out. In the very hot sun. To catch my family before they rode it.

I was glad that Philippe had insisted upon the bowl of dressing. To keep my energy up.

I think.

I caught them. Anyhow. In the line just before the doors open for the pre-show.

Tommy was very jazzed because he loves Test Track.

It reminds him of The General.

It reminds all of us of The General.

Behind the wheel. Of her car.

Riding Test Track is like going to the mall. In my Mother's sweet ride.

For this reason Test Track makes me laugh. And cry. At the same time.

The only thing missing is the running over of her neighbour's small dog. Named "Biscuit" aka "Bikkies".

I swear.

So we did Test Track. At the part where it seems like you're gonna hit the wall... I make a funny, excited face.

And clap with GLEE.

So I look like a freak. In the photo.

That's Mama's kind of fun.

Then we decide to head back to the BWV and have a swim. Before dinner. Which is to be at Le Cellier. In Canada.

You just can't keep the Canadians out of Canada. It seems.

Although the Quebecois are sure tryin'. (that would be slightly... inflamatory... if there were more Canadians. Here. FYI.)

We headed towards the big fountain. In the middle of Futureworld. I think it's called the Fountain of Nations. In Innovention Plaza.

Anywho... it was shooting water into the crowds of people standing around the fountain. Over the heads of the people closest to it and raining down on everyone's heads.

It looked like fun.

So we joined the crowd to cool off.

That's where Calvin noticed the boy.

He was about the same age as Calvin. But very slight. Pale. With a brush cut of white-blond hair growing in. It seemed.

He had one leg. The other one was metal. A prosthetic leg with a running shoe on the foot of it.

Calvin looked at him for a moment. I was about to lean down and tell Calvin to please not stare.

But, then, the boy looked over. And saw Calvin staring at his leg.

He looked self-conscious for a minute.

Then Calvin said, "Your leg! Your leg!"

I froze. The boy did too. He just looked at Calvin.

Then Calvin yelled, "COOL! It's like Terry Fox's!" And raised his thumbs up high in the air.

The boy paused for a second. And then this great big smile spread across his little face.

And he raised his two thumbs up like Calvin.

And we all stood in the water raining down from the Fountain of Nations.

I stood with a lump in my throat. And some wetness on my face.

Which did NOT come from the fountain.



To be continued. Up Next: We FINALLY get home to the BWV. Tommy pees. By the Clown Pool. And other places. Everyone does the Clown Slide. Except for Me(l). Big surprise.

 

[sheridac]

What is the "Whiz" part anyway? And is the "Cheez" still cheese????? I need some answers, people. You can PM me if you want. To avoid grossing the others out.

That's what happens after the "Cheez" works its ever-lovin' way thru the digestive tract baby!

Riding Test Track is like going to the mall. In my Mother's sweet ride.

Weren't you the one behind the wheel when your van was wrecked???

I stood with a lump in my throat. And some wetness on my face.

I am not one bit surprized Mel. He's good people 'cause you're good people.

 

[MissMagnolia]

Woooo Hoooo! Lo and behold, I sign on to the Dis and I get a treat! I was waiting for the next installment! Love it - can I go to WDW with you? Your family sounds like so much fun.

 

[MommyPoppins]

Great one Mel! I can't wait to hear about Tommy peeing by the clown pool. You should post that over on the resort board and see what happens.

 

[GeorgiaAristocat]

Mel - that is one sweet story.

No, not the kaki goris, the Terry Fox. I had to google him. Call me an american. Go ahead. It's okay.

What a sweet little Calvin moment.

I just love your family.

 

[offwegotoneverland]

Mel,

if your son can say something that cool/sweet to another little boy I think we should all listen to your parenting tips.

That was a very nice moment.

(and as a former quebec resident I have decided you can stay and so can all the happy haunts...you may even eat poutine as long as you don't make it with cheese whiz)

 

[tink38]

Mel - great installment, as usual. You made me well up there at the end, though.

As for your questions on food products, allow me to please make a few comments.

I had no IDEA that a Canadian would know what Gumbo was, much less a Po Boy. Mai Tai say that I am impressed.

As for Cheez Whiz - I believe it is neither cheese nor whiz(which is QUITE a comfort to me, BTW). I think I have a jar in the back of my Honorary Redneck Pantry. I'll take a look when I get home and let you know what I find out.

Grits - Have you had REAL grits yet? Or are you talking of the gross dried "instant" variety? There Is a diiference, I promise!

Chicken fried steak is cubed steak that is coated in flour, then egg, then flour again and pan fied. Usually served with white gravy. Yes I've had it. Yes, I've made it. Not very often, though. When seasoned correctly, it can be quite tasty.

Then again, we southerners eat some pretty weird stuff. (Have you seen Lala's pantry???)

Keep up the good work.

LY/MI!

 

[connorsmom911]

Mel, just had to say the bit about Calvin and the boy was beautiful...crying happy tears here at work and I read that part out loud to everyone because when I started to cry, aGoofymom jumped suddenly thinking something really bad had happened to you!! Yes, we care about ya that much!!

Calvin, you are an angel...that little boy will remember you and that moment for the rest of his life!

Can't wait for our dinner at Le Cellier...it will be 6 years between visits to our beloved "Canada", since our honeymoon. You'd think we couldn't get a good steak here at home! Say it with me...The Keg Steakhouse and Bar baby!!! It's a good substitute, but the ambiance just isn't the same. Cheddar cheese soup....mmmmmmm.....cheeeeessssseeeee.

Keep it coming...needing the good belly laughs at work lately and your trippies are the perfect prescription!

 

[brandt79]

Mel - that is one sweet story.

No, not the kaki goris, the Terry Fox. I had to google him. Call me an american. Go ahead. It's okay.

What a sweet little Calvin moment.

I just love your family.

Don't feel bad - I had to, too

Did anyone else notice Mel's use of the ENTER key today?! Well done, Canuck!

 

[JERSEYGIRLINSI]

Like: American cheese "food product", jerky, grits, Spam, peanut butter, pork rinds and fried dill pickles. And the WORST of the WORST... Chicken-Fried Steak.

ARE YOU NUTS WOMEN????? Not having GRITS, PEANUT BUTTER, and CHICKEN-FRIED STEAK!!!!!
What???
Grits...ok, maybe it's an aquired taste. But come on, Peanut Butter..JIF...what do you snack on, what do the kids eat for lunch...what do you smear on your graham crackers???
And Chicken-Fried Steak....WHAT? What is wrong with this.... I went to North Carolina Central University- Durham, NC (EAGLE PRIDE by the way ), and this was one of the best things they made...next to grits
Not like these CLASSIC AMERICAN STAPLES??...THE HORROR
TO EACH ITS OWN IS ALL I WILL SAY

 

[Minnie]

I stood with a lump in my throat. And some wetness on my face.

Which did NOT come from the fountain.
:

Mel - Sometimes kids just see beyond where the rest of us fail to. Awesome little guy there and I have to say an awesome mom

 

[nicolemarie]

Mel -

You might front as a crazy wild woman, but no little guy comes up with that kinda heart on his own. He must get that from his Daddy. Ha!

Seriously, that is priceless. That kind of comment comes from a sweet heart. Which is instilled by sweet parents. Despite the fact that you probably had a close friend drowning in the fountain as the interaction with Calvin and his buddy was going on.

Great installment. Loved it like always.

NM