An Inconvenient Truth: happyhaunt Style! (New... pg. 113!)

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Formerly known as:

1. The happyhaunts Attempt to Get to Disney. Again. I think.
2. Mel happyhaunts' The Battle For My New Title
3. The happyhaunts' Guide To The Galaxy and The World
4. The Da happyhaunt Code
5. Horton Hears a happyhaunt! On the sixth of May...
6. The happyhaunt of The Baskervilles
7. The happyhaunt of Notre Dame
8. A Connecticut happyhaunt in King Arthur's Court
9. The Velveteen happyhaunt
10. Harry Potter and the Half-Wit happyhaunt
11. Portrait of a Lady happyhaunt
12. What It Means to be Crimson Tide: Mel happyhaunt and Alabama's Greatest Players
13.I Remember Paul "happyhaunt" Bryant
14.Fried Green Tomatoes at the happyhaunt Cafe
15. Brothers Karamazov and Sister happyhaunt
16. A Prayer For Owen happyhaunt
17. The Lady happyhaunt of the Lake
18. The Great Gatsby-haunt
19. Mel happyhaunt of Sunnybrook Farm
20. The Road to Understanding - Mel happyhaunt
21. Norse Stories Retold from the happyhaunts
22. The Picture of Dorian happyhaunt
23. Uncle Silas a Tale of Bartram happyhaunt
24. McIntosh and happyhaunt, Creek Indian Leaders
25. The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and her happyhaunt
26. The House of a Thousand happyhaunts
27. In the Skin of a happyhaunt
28. The happyhaunt with Seven Toes And... looks like it's gonna stay that way.
29. The happyhaunt In the Rye
30. A Century of happyhaunt life in Dixie
31. The Memory Keeper's happyhaunt
32. The unhappyhat Always Rings Twice


Before I begin, AGAIN, putting you through the events of our trip which will be at times offensive, nauseating, mindnumbingly boring and probably not very funny. This time. I feel I should start with an introduction of the happyhaunts:

DS5: aka Tommy, Bama, the Filer, Streps, Crackhead... and more. Like Swuttypuffiler and the Rapper known as Swutty Five Cent. He is tiny, blond, sweet, squeaky, gentle, expressive and funny. Most of all...he BELIEVES! In the Magic of Disney, in the strength of our family, in me his mother and in HIMSELF. He is one in a million. He is special, in his way, to each of the five of us. We all cater to him and coddle him at times. Most times. Even times when we all know better. We can't help it. He seems vulnerable. To us. His older brother is both his best friend and his worst enemy.

DS8: aka Calvin, CALLLLLLLLLVVVVVVIIIINNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!, The Koala, Chia and Chives. He is a bundle of... well... something. It is: energy, life, laughter, trouble and passion. He is destined for greatness. Or else the Big House. He is also the most WORK I've ever undertaken in my life. Willingly and happily, though, because he makes me feel ALIVE. He is unique and challenging. Very. His younger brother thinks he's a God. And his older sister thinks that he smells "weird". Really.

DD11: aka Beth, Tiny, The Tick and The Boss. As opposed to Bruce Springsteen who claims to be The Boss. But really isn't. She has a huge sense of personal entitlement. If the world doesn't revolve around her... well, darn it... it SHOULD! She is mature, timid, thoughtful, quiet, intelligent and sassy. At times. She is an old woman in a beautiful new young body. My complete and utter opposite. Unlike me. But, still, my baby girl. And... my friend. She is very cool. For a kid.

DH41: aka Dad, Daddy or Mel. He is my beautiful bride. And the rock of this little family. He is smart, honest, good, strong and PATIENT. Usually. To this day I cannot believe that he actually broke down and proposed to me. That he promised to spend the rest of his life with ME... and actually went through with the wedding. And... uhhhhhhh... sometimes neither can HE!

Me(l)37: aka Mom, Mommy or Mel. I share the same name with my husband. Sorry. It's not our fault. But it is confusing at times. I'll try and ease you through the pain of this. In my first trip report I said I was perfect. Well... I still AM. Heh, heh. But I'm also very stubborn. And thick-skinned. I think.

DC3: aka Catbabycatgirliegoo, Lotus, Lodie and The Luscious Lady. Our cat. Uhhhhh... scratch that. She WAS our cat. Now she lives with The General in a state of bliss and captivity.

The General(very old): aka My Mother, Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma'am, Sir and Baba. She wasn't along on this particular trip with us. Thank the Good Lord. But... she might as well have been. Her beloved, dreaded presence is with us always. Like the GST. And our old rotting van and stroller. And the wicked big scar on my hindquarters. Even at Disney. Yep.

Mission Space: aka Mission Sinise and... errrr... well, let's call this ride MS. For short. From now on. Just for fun. It is a very favourite ride. For this whole family. We spend a lot of time there. Riding MS in Epcot. Our second favourite park.

DH?: aka Pepper, the Rodent, the Rat and, most likely, "The Terrible Smell Under the Shelves in the Corner of the Basement". Our hamster which is... somewhere? But, again, a long story. However, in my last TR opening, I made the mistake of not mentioning Pepper and the whole trip report went south in a big hurry. I think this was probably the reason. So... Pepper is BACK IN! Folks.

Well... wish me luck with this new Trippie. And I'll start with just ONE chapter of Pre-Trip, Post-Trip Pre-Trippie. Lucky you. The Dining Reports will be included. As will the poor grammar, big paragraphs, asides and general mayhem.

Now... breathe deeply, assume the yoga position I call "Smelling Your Own Foot" (ankle to forhead) and chant "Om" with me. Let's begin.

Cheers, Mel.

 

[maxiesmom]

I'm so glad you are continuing your trip report! I must confess, I am almost afraid to post, I don't want to cause trouble!

Sorry but this occasion deserves
and

 

[Grammyof2]

I'm in

 

[Seven of Nine]

I'm buckled in and prepared for take off!

I'm also most curious. Did you spend any time at TL??

 

[nicolemarie]

Woo Hoo!

I'm glad you started your TR about Disney. Because that is what these boards are for - reports on trips to Disney.

How did you get to Disney? What did you do while you were at Disney? What did you eat at Disney? Where did you stay at Disney?

These are the things we come to these boards for. Not humor. Not stories that do not apply to anything about your trip. Just Disney. K?

MTRDNS!!! (Figure that one out... )

 

[Frickles]

I just can't wait to go back to Disney with you guys again! I'm ditching my trip to Barnes and Noble...I'm looking forward to reading your TR instead!!!!

 

[tarheel]

I am so glad you are trying to write this again. I really am looking foreward to it--and maybe some pictures too.

 

[J and R's mom]

 

[GADISNEYGIRL]

Great. You WOULD have to start this over when I'm trying to finish up MY report! Oh who cares, I'm IN!

I want to know if you have YET done PhilharMagic. Because I have never done Mission: Space. So does that make us even?

Follow Nicolemarie's advice.

 

[Shelby5514]

Mellllllllllll..................

Glad to have you back...

Curious to see where you were and when...so I can compare notes...I'm sure we passed each other somewhere!

 

[MommyPoppins]

Yay! On with the show! I can't wait till you get to Disney! Or finish destroying your stroller, or cleaning your van? Wherever you were I can't wait!

 

[LaLa]

Melly Mel-

I have to tell you that I'm sitting here at work with a huge grin on my face. And nobody here knows why. But you do, don't you?

I'm smiling because it's great to see you back here, where you belong. At the top. Bring on the trip report, Woman. Can't wait to go on what I'm sure will be a wonderful Maelstrom of a ride with you.

Again. I think.

 

[patrokls]

Yay. The inspiration for my poor excuse of a trip report is back.

 

[tink38]

Melly Mel-

I have to tell you that I'm sitting here at work with a huge grin on my face. And nobody here knows why. But you do, don't you?

I'm smiling because it's great to see you back here, where you belong. At the top. Bring on the trip report, Woman. Can't wait to go on what I'm sure will be a Maelstrom of a ride with you.

Again. I think.

Me, too, LaLa. Me too.
Great start, Mel!

 

[canes876]

On behalf of all the “lurkers” out there, Thank You!!!!

 

[kpk89]

Glad to see you're giving it another go. I can't wait to read all your adventures!

and .... Hey, everybody reading this report!! If Mel is going to keep her TR Disney related, let's do our part and keep the commentary strictly related to her report as well. There are other places for the banter and chitchat.

Third time's the charm, wouldn't you say?

 

[jamal]

Yippee!!! The happyhaunts adventures continue. I'm IN, Mel!!!

 

[JRS]

I'm a longtime lurker, first time poster. I'm glad to see you back. In fact, I registered today just so I could tell you I was glad to see you back. I didn't know what happened. I started reading your report a few weeks ago and then it disappeared.

I read almost all of your last trip report. It was fantastic. You are very funny. You family sounds hilarious but dangerous to be around. I can't wait to read more of this trip report.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

I don't know if any of you out there are like me but I generally count the day before the trip as PART of the trip. There is, always, a bunch of last minute stuff to do. Along with all the packing. You heard me correctly. I'm a last minute kind of girl. Which is just SUPER when you have a family of five to pack for. AND... I'm a wicked over-packer. And a crier. A hugger. And I like to open the dishwasher mid-cycle to throw a fork or cup or side-plate in. I KNOW that it's not sanitary, that it wastes energy and lets the heat out. I know this because my DH reminds me OFTEN. Of this. But... I do it anyway. So although I've known for months, that we're leaving the next day to fly to WDW I've saved the lionshare of the work for THE DAY BEFORE THE TRIP. However, I DID ask my DH to get the suitcases out for me the night before the day before. Capish? Did he get them out? Well... he said, "OK, honey. I'll do it in five minutes." Loosely translated "five minutes" means "never in my lifetime". At least in our house. That is. So after the kids returned from school on Friday I asked Calvin, my middle child, to help me in the basement for a minute aka I interrupted him in mid-pester of his older sister and ordered him to the bowels of our house. I needed some help to get the suitcases. Because, unlike our stroller and our van (which is technically MINE because my DH dislikes it so), our basement is in some semblance of order. It's actually pretty neat and organized. It's the Man Den. That's why. The basement is all about DH. We have a pool table, an air-hockey table and foosball, too. Tools, camping gear, fishing gear and a huge stack of wedding presents which are still unused. From 13 years ago. A CHAFING DISH! A PUNCHBOWL! A TEA SERVICE!!! Mwaaaaahaaaaaahaaaaaaa!!!! Whew. My poor DH's family didn't know Me(l) very well. Apparently. But... because it's HIS SPACE... it's all neat and tidy and organized. And everything is very HIGH UP on shelves. You see, my DH Mellyman, is a very large mammal. He's 6'4" and thinks that everyone else in this house is too. Because everything is stored way up in the stratosphere. So... I climb up the shelves and start hauling six suitcases down. One for each of us and one for...errrr... shoes. Yes. SHOES. Mostly mine. Guilty. Of over-packing footwear. I'm trying not to fall and snap my neck and handing them down to Calvin when he asks me a question:

Calvin: Mom? Can I ask you a question about sex?
Me: Sure Calvin. Because, as you can see, it's about as good a time as any.
Calvin: Good. Mom?
Me: What Calvin?
Calvin: When I get married and have kids... can I still live here with you and Daddy? In the basement, maybe?
Me: (laughing and teetering on edge of shelf) Here? In the basement? Sure. Why not? You might want to check with your Dad, too, though.
Calvin: Ok. I'm also just gonna have two kids. A boy and a girl.
Me: Nice. That's great. Here... grab this, please.
Calvin: Because you and Daddy got carried away.
Me: Pardon me?
Calvin: I said you and Daddy got carried away. You had three kids. Most people just have two.
Me: Wow. Don't know what to say to that. Are you saying we should have stopped with you and not had Tommy?
Calvin: Well... no. I guess not. I like him.
Me: Good. Good. Good to know. So we'll keep him then. Alright?
Calvin: Sure. I just still think you got all carried away.
Me: Fair enough. Are we finished this talk yet?
Calvin: How do you get carried away?
Me: Just grab this suitcase please, will you?

Then we headed upstairs to start the packing extravaganza. Of FUN. Yep. 'Cause I let the kids all pack their own clothes. Sure! Bring WHATEVER you want. But... I'll check later. To make sure Calvin has more than two pairs of underwear for 10 days. And enough socks. And pants. Because one fateful trip to our cottage he brought six different pj tops and NO bottoms. And I, clearly, hadn't properly checked his bag before we drove away. But Beth is a great, neat and thorough packer. She's got it down. Tommy needs more than a little help but he, also, likes to pick his own favourite clothes. I pack for DH AFTER he packs for himself. Because EVERY trip he runs out of clean shirts. It's a happyhaunt vacation rule. So... we pack. I repack. I check and repack again. I pack 15 bikinis for myself. For 10 days. And 8 pairs of shoes and sandals. I forget to pack Tylenol. And socks. And running shoes. For myself.
We also pack the cameras, all our Disney info, DDE card, DVC member cards, US Visa, Passports, friends and family's addresses, coffee from Starbucks(in case you can't get that in the USA. Heh, heh) and about a thousand other items that we probably won't need. But would just like to carry around in the airport and to and from the hotel. For exercise. I suppose. We are the last-minute, over-packing, multi-tasking, carried away happyhaunts.

But... we're almost ready to leave!!!! Booooyaaaaaa, BABY!!!!! Disney awaits!

To be continued... next up: The Buffalo airport and a quick stop to see the blessed, despised General at West Point.

 

[2infinity&B-ond]

DH?: aka Pepper, the Rodent, the Rat and, most likely, "The Terrible Smell Under the Shelves in the Corner of the Basement". Our hamster which is... somewhere? But, again, a long story. However, in my last TR opening, I made the mistake of not mentioning Pepper and the whole trip report went south in a big hurry. I think this was probably the reason. So... Pepper is BACK IN! Folks.

Yup. You're right. That MUST be the reason the ship sank...err..I mean the report went down hill.

So glad you started back up. Can't wait to ride along with you and your family on your lastest adventure!!

-2IAB