An Inconvenient Truth: happyhaunt Style! (New... pg. 113!)

[PaulDavid's mom]

PaulDavid's mom - Hi neighbor! I agree on the jerky. We have a dehydrator that sits on our kitchen counter permanently so DH can cook up jerky from the spoils of deer hunting (poor Bambi ). I have half a shelf in the pantry dedicated to the differing spices you can use for the stuff.

Hi to you too neighbor!
All I have to say is YUM. Still not sure why. But who cares it's sooo good.
And yet I feel a little guilty about it. Cause, you know...the whole bambi thing....


And to stay on topic~Can't wait for the next installment.

 

[labdogs42]

Well, Mel, I don't want you to be bored, so I thought I'd better jump in! Great installments and thanks for the Calvin/Terry Fox sidebar. It is so cool that Calvin is obsessed with something so positive. I love that you plan to take him to Thunder Bay. Very cool. Of course, you have to leave some room in that vacation schedule for your next Dinsey trip, but I'm sure I don't have to remind you of that!

I can't wait to hear of the Happyhaunts dinner in "Canada" and thanks for the plug for real Philly cheesesteaks in the World -- they should totally be served at the American pavillion. We should start a campaign -- Maelstromers for Philly Cheesesteaks (or something like that)!!

 

[GOOFYsince71]

Thanks for coming back and making us all smile again.........I haven't posted since you left and even though I am still apprehensive,,I am back to say,,,,Never leave us again my dear friend, it has been way too long!

 

[New England Eeyore]

As a matter of fact, I bet if he were in an accident, you wouldn't stop to get a beer. I'm just sayin'

She wouldn't stop for red lights.

Mel, Calvin is definitely a sweetie. I googled Terry Fox too and his story made me tear up. Thanks for sharing both your story and his.

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Mel, wonderful as always. What all the other posters said above, no need to repeat. Waiting for another installment.

 

[kpk89]

Maelstrom ... is a Fast Pass?!?!


Cheese Whiz ... is Food?!!!!????

 

[deekaypee]

Just echoing what others have said--fantastic TR and that Calvin, he's something special (as are all you happyhaunts). Keep the good times rollin'!

 

[Tiggerrn2]

Hi Mel. New TR lurker here. Decided, had to post. Love your report. Read ZZUB's and was convinced to give yours a try. Glad I did!!! Keep up the good work.

 

[Mr. Silly]

Then... again... there are other American foods one must avoid. In my opinion. Like: American cheese "food product", jerky, grits, Spam, peanut butter, pork rinds and fried dill pickles.

I have a secret to tell you, but you should sit down first. American Cheese is the secret ingredient in Cheez Whiz. All those Philly Cheez Steaks you had? American Cheese laden.

With regards to Peanut Butter, you're just jealous since Peanut Butter (capitalized because it is too good for lower case) is virtually illegal in Canada. I know this. I was there. They'd be using their nice polite Canadian voice like this: "I'm sorry, but pardon me, it that a Reeses Pieces?"
Me : "Yes, yes it is, do you want one?"
Them: "Oh my God! Do you know that there might be someone with a Peanut Allergy around here?!? Merely looking at that Reeses Piece-of-Death would be enough for them to fall down into agonizing convulsions for a few hours before they died! You, sir, are worse than Hitler!"
Me: "So you don't want one?"

It really takes Peanut products to get a Canadian worked up. That or talking about how much one likes Quebec. Since I don't think the Quebecois are actually Canadians, this really is universal. There is a simple proof to show that the Quebecois are not Canadian, by the way. All Canadians are polite and funny. The Quebecois are neither. Therefore the Quebecois are not Canadian. Q.E.D.

They actually ban Peanut butter all over the place in Canada (except Quebec where they sell it by the borders of the other provinces in barrels as catapult ammunition). You can't even find it in the shops on the shelves in normal Canada (normal being not-Quebec), you have to go to the back to a little window, and then you need to sign a few waivers explaining that you realize you are buying a Food of Mass Destruction, and that you swear you will never bring it to any public place.

You just can't keep the Canadians out of Canada. It seems.

Or Los Angeles

Although the Quebecois are sure tryin'. (that would be slightly... inflamatory... if there were more Canadians. Here. FYI.)

The fact that you wrote that in English without an accompanying French Translation is much more inflammatory.

 

[offwegotoneverland]

I

It really takes Peanut products to get a Canadian worked up. That or talking about how much one likes Quebec. Since I don't think the Quebecois are actually Canadians, this really is universal. There is a simple proof to show that the Quebecois are not Canadian, by the way. All Canadians are polite and funny. The Quebecois are neither. Therefore the Quebecois are not Canadian. Q.E.D.

Actually the Quebecois are much sneaker then you are giving us (oops I mean them) credit for. Secretly in the mid 70's many left under the guise of "being concerned" about the quebecois...we have slowly begun taking over other power centres and will soon be spreading our evil nefarious ways even unto WDW where one will have say something in french in order to get cheese soup. (made with cheddar for the record).

That's why you can't get a bevertail anymore!

 

[HaleyB]

Actually the Quebecois are much sneaker then you are giving us (oops I mean them) credit for. Secretly in the mid 70's many left under the guise of "being concerned" about the quebecois...we have slowly begun taking over other power centres and will soon be spreading our evil nefarious ways even unto WDW where one will have say something in french in order to get cheese soup. (made with cheddar for the record).

That's why you can't get a bevertail anymore!

Everything makes so much more sense now.

 

[Mr. Silly]

Actually the Quebecois are much sneaker then you are giving us (oops I mean them) credit for. Secretly in the mid 70's many left under the guise of "being concerned" about the quebecois...we have slowly begun taking over other power centres and will soon be spreading our evil nefarious ways even unto WDW where one will have say something in french in order to get cheese soup. (made with cheddar for the record).

It's always that way, isn't it? An apparently simple conspiracy actually runs deeper than you could ever know. Probably the Quebecois are somehow involved in the Kennedy coverup, and that's why they control Area 51 through the Trilateral commission. Did you know that Elvis' last words were "et tu, Chretien?" Or at least they sounded something like that.

That's why you can't get a bevertail anymore!

At first I wrote, "Wait. Did you say that the beavertails are gone? Noooooooo."

But then I saw you really said bevertail. That's some Peanut Butter covered imitation that they make in Quebec right? The real BeaverTails that I once kind-of-liked in the real Canada, and thought were somehow much better in their Disney version of Canada must still be there, right? Right?

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

I just got home.

To this wonderful pleasant surprise.

Mr. Silli posted.

It's a rare occassion.

One which must be celebrated properly. With a pinata. And tequila. OLE!

I think.

Anywho... thanks for the giggle(s).

Listen. I'm not anti-Quebec. Really.

I love all things French. Canada's version of it. That is.

I love poutine. And Bonhomme. Everyone loves a French Snowman Clown.

Right?

Well...

Anywho...again. I'm just bitter. I guess.

I had... errrr another one... of my skiing "incidents". There. In Quebec. High school ski trip.

I said "Black Diamonds are for SISSIES!"

Then I said, "Ow! Help me! In the trees! Over here! I can't walk!"

Beavertails at Disney are GONE, Silli, GONE!

It's all a conspiracy. I agree.

And... STILL... I'm putting you on ignore.

Just because I like your avatar. And your signature.

FYI.

Oh. Back to my story...

Then I spent the night and part of the next day at a French hospital. In Quebec.

I am a TERRIBLE skiier.

I just don't realize it. Yet.

Ohhhhh.

Good times.

Thanks for the memories. Silli.

I hope to see you more often.

Hi Haley!

Hi Offwego! Kim! Deekay! Tigger! Marita! Goofy! Labdogs! PandD's Mom! NewEE!

Especially Kathyg!

Hellooooooo! Thanks for posting.

Isn't this nice.

Cheers, Mel.

 

[latoberg]

Then... again... there are other American foods one must avoid. In my opinion. Like: American cheese "food product", jerky, grits, Spam, peanut butter, pork rinds and fried dill pickles. And the WORST of the WORST... Chicken-Fried Steak.

What is "Chicken-Fried Steak"? I don't have a clue. Actually. But, to me, it's like a bad oxymoron. And a double negative. If using grammatical terms.

The trope of litotes.

What I want to say is this: I don't never want none of that!

Alright, my opinion of nice, polite Canadians is totally destroyed thanks to you. These are fighting words. This calls for a unilateral declaration of war between the new North and the South. Southerners will rise up in arms against Canadians.

And why you ask?

Because you have just dissed (and not in a good DIS kind of way) the total diet of most Southern Redneck. You have attacked our version of the food pyramid.

SO I now officially declare a boycott on maple syrup. Only corn syrup on my pancakes.

 

[Mr. Silly]

Mr. Silli posted.

It's a rare occassion.

My post count has hit the higher fifties at this point. I'd say I am profligate, and need to start holding back more.

Listen. I'm not anti-Quebec. Really.

I am actually not really anti-Quebec, really, in all actuality. We lived in the relatively Anglophile Nova Scotia when the big referendum was going on in Quebec, and there was a general sense that things were really going wrong in some way there, but it wasn't my country so while I allowed myself a few jokes, I really did try to butt out. And still do. But I still allow myself a few jokes here and there (my English genes can't resists occasional jokes at French or French-like people) as I try to figure out how to move back to Canada where I actually belong. And once I am back I'd be happy to visit Montreal to practice all the French I learned off can labels and instructions for VCRs.

 

[GOOFYsince71]

Since I have relented and started posting again, Only due to the return of
Me(l), I have to say, There is no finer time spent than that time spent with the HappyHaunts!
Of course, that was an imposssible sentence to zzub out!
Actually, I love the fact that you,Me(l) are so well versed, and all your "followers" are so enjoyably articulate,that I find myself being a
much more enjoyable conversationalist since reading your TR's!!!You have sparked something in me to be a more entertaining person.
Can't wait for more inspiration , you and your "Peeps" ( yes, I do mean the sugary Easter candy) are the reason that
"Reading is FUN-damental"!!!
THANKS! Kudos! (oops, another candy related word!)
Charge On!

 

[nebo]

HI, Mel. I just want to say that I'm starting to worry that the 1000th happy haunt is going to be the 1001 happy haunt for real by the time this tr is finished. Just kidding, I love it.

 

[taeja71]

I've been enjoying this! thanks for sharing.

 

[Mr. Silly]

Post 61. Yay.

By the way, did you know that the word 'kudos' comes down to us from Homeric Greek. The Kudos was the sense of fame and renown that a great warrior would build up. By extension it came to mean praise, and from there somewhere over the centuries the idea of candy bars crept in.

 

[Lil' Grumpy]

..and very modest, indeedS!..ha, behind that wild sense of humor,
you're not foolin anybody. it is self evident that you are a caring
person and very devoted to yor family!

my, oh my..the comments are really "happening" . you bring
out the best in others... ...if it wasn't too much trouble,
could my mother-in-law visit you guys for a week or infinity?

...it does looks like nebo on to something there? what
a "magical" ending to yor story...

* all i ever bring home are the standard souvineers...dwats!, & double
dwats...