5/27/06 "Il pochi il fiero i blabbermouths" We *will* sail again

[justmestace]

Guess I'll pipe in on this one. My Mom is the one who tosses the guilt. (Don't get me wrong, I love her like mad) But she doesn't do it on her own behalf...she and Dad have travelled extensively. She gives me grief over the fact that my oldest brother has never been able to take his kids to Disneyland or WDW, let alone on 3 cruises. He's a Christian minister, and doesn't make much money...but he does get some "perks" that my husband and I don't. Like a house to live in, an expense account, health insurance, etc. We're self-employed and have to pay all that ourselves. I don't feel sorry for them. I think we all make choices. And I don't think he's upset that we go. I know he does think we are spoiling our kids. Oh well. It's what we enjoy.
When Mom starts in on that, I just nod my head, pretend to listen and agree, and then change the subject. I used to try to defend myself, but gave up a long time ago.

They'll probably all have a hissy fit when they discover that we have two more cruises booked. Jay's family never traveled. His folks never took the kids anywhere. Jay's dad passed away with a tidy sum just sitting in the bank. Jay thinks it's pretty sad that his dad didn't ever enjoy the money he worked so hard for. So, we are doing things differently. You can't take it with you. And we may be spending our kids' inheritance, but at least we are spending it on them!

 

[justmestace]

I had to laugh at myself when I read that last line of mine up there........who am I kidding? I only had the kids as an excuse to do Disney!!!

 

[tinksdad]

I had to laugh at myself when I read that last line of mine up there........who am I kidding? I only had the kids as an excuse to do Disney!!!

Way to go Stacey!!

Just like I say; You're only as old as you act!

Lets go to Disney!!!

 

[BibbidyBobbidyBoo]

SO, I have a serious question for you guys. Are any of you all ever made to feel guilty about your cruises by members of your immediate family, moms dads brothers sisters? My Mom makes me feel so bad. But you know what? My DH and I work hard all year long, and we make sacrifices during the year, as far as family time goes, because of our jobs. My DH works at least 10 hours a day almost everyday, as long as the OT is offered. So it is not like the life we live is handed to us on a silver platter.....KWIM? My mom and dad make me feel like they think we are rolling in it (which we are not) and make comments about how it must be nice to cruise every year, or go to WDW etc etc........it gets me down sometimes. SO share, does this happen to you? If it does how do you handle it?

I don't feel "guilty" or let it "get me down" but I get those comments sometimes from some family members.
How do I handle it? Well it depends on the situation or how they state their comments. If they state it hatefully or just offhandedly say things like "must be nice" or whatever- I let it slide off without a return comment. If it's said in a way like "how on earth do you afford to go to WDW so often/etc.?" then I answer with the truth.. that we save for our trips- don't do as much eating out, buying things here and there/etc. as some others might do (and they usually don't realize HOW much that eating out all the time, buying "snacks" at gas stations when you fill up, etc. all really ads up quite a bit over time!) and try to spend as little as possible when we go- taking advantage of all discounts that we can (thru Disney board budget info- getting discount tickets, discounts on resort cost, meal vouchers, etc.).

I think some people have the idea that going to WDW or on cruises cost a FORTUNE so you have to be "rich" to be doing those things. Those things can be done expensively,or they can be done as inexpensively as possible. Sure you can't go if you are very poor- but you can almost always find ways to cut costs, ways to save well in advance, etc. For instance the things I mentioned above- and like booking cruises over a year in advance to get the best price and such. It doesn't have to mean you are millionaires just because you go to WDW or cruises- but for some that's the mentality they have. We could spend just as much going to other places that don't have the "reputation" in some people's minds as being "expensive".

Don't let it bother you... you know you work hard for your money and should be able to spend it where you want. Any further comments after explaining how you do it (if asked) is just pure jealousy and isn't very nice coming from relatives. IMO

 

[WDWLVR]

Good morning Cruisers!
We sail in 71 weeks!

Woo Hoo! Another week closer!

Woke up and couldn't get back to sleep so I thought I would beat Jim on the boards this morning

My plan for today is scrapbooking (with some laundry on the side).

 

[scuba diver]

Good morning Cruisers!
We sail in 71 weeks!

Woo Hoo! Another week closer!

Woke up and couldn't get back to sleep so I thought I would beat Jim on the boards this morning

My plan for today is scrapbooking (with some laundry on the side).

You win today. Slept in on Saturday until 5:30. That's pretty good. I now about 2 hours of peace and quiet before they all get up and going.

Sometimes this is the best part of the day. It's just like being on the cruise, fresh cup of coffee, listening to the waves (I turn the pool on), reading a book and being all alone on my balcony (okay pool deck).

I can always dream!

 

[kikipug]

Sometimes this is the best part of the day. It's just like being on the cruise, fresh cup of coffee, listening to the waves (I turn the pool on), reading a book and being all alone on my balcony (okay pool deck).

And I thought I was the only one in FL who has coffee by the pool even on a cold grey morning when the temp is in the 50's!!! ... most people think I'm crazy... (well... that's another discussion altogether.) Then again, you are a northern transplant, too, right?

 

[scuba.mom]

You can't take it with you. And we may be spending our kids' inheritance, but at least we are spending it on them!

This was exactly by Grandparents philosophy. They said they would rather see their kids and grandkids enjoy their inheritance than provide them with a large amount upon their death. To that end, as a child I was able to travel all over the US, once to Europe, & many times to Canada. My Dad was a teacher so he had Christmas, Easter, & Summers off. We would travel for 6 to eight weeks each summer. (My Mom was a teacher too before she had kids and every trip she tried to "educate" us. As an adult I am thankful for this.)

My parents had wanted to do this as well and had started with golfing vacations for the family, but their health interfered. My Mom passed away four years ago at Christmas after a long bout with Alzihiemers (sp?). She never was able to travel with her Grandchildren the way she had hoped to. My Dad has been battling Cancer for 6 years now and just can't travel much. So, we spend a week every July with my Dad and my siblings and their kids at a lake. It is great.

We started the Christmas Cruise tradition the year after my Mom passed away. It was just so depressing being in Florida by ourselves on a holiday and it was too much hassle to try and cooridinate with family over Christmas. We tried many times. This year's Christmas trip is being scaled back to a weekend so that Jim and I can spend a week together on a cruise for our 20th Anniversary.

 

[scuba.mom]

Then again, you are a northern transplant, too, right?

10 years now.

 

[dzneprincess]

When Mom starts in on that, I just nod my head, pretend to listen and agree, and then change the subject. I used to try to defend myself, but gave up a long time ago.

Maybe I should learn to do this. In a way i already do. But it cmoes from both my parents. My brothers are still young, 20 and 23, and I am 29. SO they are still just getting on their feet, so to speak, so I am made to feel guilty about how "poor" they are. I dont feel obligated to help them, They have made some dumb decisions. The 20 year old had a partial scholarship at DU that included his dorm and food. Now this goofball, went and moved out into an apartment with NO job, new bills and a need for groceries. WHy, you ask? Because he wanted privacy.
My other brother dropped out of HS at 15, led a bad life until he was 19 or so, then straightened up nd joined the AF. I was thrilled for him. He was stationed in Korea for a year, and got in trouble for underage drinking, , so now, 4 years later, they are not going to let him reinlist. He has since gotten a girl pregnant, did not tell anyone and married her in secret when she was about 6 months pregnant. HE did not let my paretns know that they were going to be grandparents or that he was married until about 1 month before the baby was born. SIGH
My Dad did 20 years in the Army and was miserable. Upon retirement, he went and got a college degree. That was 11 years ago that he retired, so about 7 years ago that he finished his degree. HE has not gotten a job since then. Oh sure, he has been offered jobs, but he feels they are below someone with his degree. SO what does he do? WHen times get tough, he will help his neighbors paint houses
Dont get me wrong, I love my whole family, and I dont envy their financial situation. But evermorning when my alram goes off at 500am, and I think about the thought of getting out of my nice warm bed, and getting 4 kids ages 9 and under with as little drama as possible, well most days I want to stay in bed. But I dont, I sacrifice to lead the ind of lifestyle that I prefer......but then I am made to feel guilty........

 

[tinksdad]

...snip...but then I am made to feel guilty........

What's that old saying: "Happiness is not a product of our surroundings, it's something we must make inside ourselves"

or

"Don't explain. Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it"

or

"Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere"

something for the guys:

"A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house"


and a TOP to boot!

 

[Dancind]

"A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house"


and a TOP to boot!

So THAT is how you do it. I knew there was a trick in there somewhere.

 

[tinksdad]

So THAT is how you do it. I knew there was a trick in there somewhere.

Love ya, Mean it!!

 

[scuba diver]

What's that old saying: "Happiness is not a product of our surroundings, it's something we must make inside ourselves"

or

"Don't explain. Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it"

or

"Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere"

something for the guys:

"A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house"


and a TOP to boot!

You are good!

 

[justmestace]

Good Morning! Well...it IS still morning here!

Amanda...you have a ways to go before you can let it roll off your back. I had to move 2000 miles away from "home" and get to be 45 before I learned to just let it go.
My hope is that I don't end up becoming my mother (In that sense. Otherwise, she is truly a lovely woman) and laying guilt trips on my kids. As the saying goes:
My Mother doesn't just enjoy guilt trips, she runs the travel agency!

Anyway.......not much going on here. I should be painting...but I had to take Jordan to dance rehearsal, and have to pick her up in a bit. No point in starting to paint and then having to stop, right? Hey, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it!!

 

[kikipug]

My husband DOES clean the house, do the groceries, the laundry... and is a gourmet cook to boot! (not that he's home long enough these days to actually do ANY of the above, thanks to 16 hour days at work!)

So I had to grocery shop this morning... something I rarely do, and NEVER with the kids. The 3 of us argue our way through SuperTarget... get to the checkout, only to find that my wallet is at home. We go back to get it, (while the groceries wait for us), and of course there's a car accident (I wasn't in it) between Target and home. I go back to Target to pay for the groceries... load the groceries into the truck, and smack my head on the truck door so hard that I have to lie down in the back seat to avoid passing out.... NOW do you know why I don't grocery shop!!!

Yes, ladies... I am spoiled... (he hates it when I tell people that!!!)

 

[justmestace]

Holy Cow, Karen....hope you're okay. What a miserable day. Send the kids away and pop open a bottle of whatever is your favorite!

 

[kikipug]

Holy Cow, Karen....hope you're okay. What a miserable day. Send the kids away and pop open a bottle of whatever is your favorite!

I'm fine... just ANOTHER one of those days that would have been better spent on a cruise! (Oh wait... that's every day.)

 

[scuba diver]

The 3 of us argue our way through SuperTarget...

So that was you I saw at SuperTarget this morning?

 

[kikipug]

So that was you I saw at SuperTarget this morning?

"Put that back..."
"No, we're NOT buying Pringles..."
"Those are disgusting..."
"Mom, can we get a candybar at the cash register?"
"I want to push the cart!!!"
"CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY!!!"


Post #1300... I love round numbers... and I'm not superstitious!!