365 days of healthy choices... Year #3 starts with post 356, comments welcome!

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Vija, wow, I love this concept that you are doing (the 365 days..)! What a great job! Even if it's a small step, it is a step!

I have a 17 year old too. It cannot be possible that my baby is graduating high school this year! I'm not THAT old!?!

thank you so much! It has been fun concentrating on positive things, that is for sure!

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Oh boy, completely fell off the mark and lost focus. Can't believe how badly I fell off the wagon. So many thoughts running around in my head, with uncontrolled behaviors, NOT healthy at all. I would say the best choice that I made through that time is to not give up, I kept looking for inspiration, reading books, I held on by my fingertips and am clawing my way back...

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

I woke up this morning really wanting to get moving again. I like how I feel when I exercise, I like how I feel when I get things done. I DO NOT LIKE how I feel when I lay around at night, on the couch watching TV just waiting for time to pass. I'm losing time, and time is one of the most precious things we have.

I also have to say that last night I watched a tv show called "I used to be fat". Anyone hear of that? It is pretty good, last nights episode had a girl on and the mom was overweight too. Talked about how she felt guilty. Oh yes, I do feel guilty about the poor role model I've been for my kids. I need to start eating healthier so my kids do better. DS is already doing pretty good, I need to really work so DD gets healthier too.

And a big trigger for me is that darn, stupid scale. I weighed myself this morning, but I plan on not weighing in for a while. Too much of a numbers game for me. I just want to really focus on how I am feeling, how much better I feel when exercising and doing things.

I am tired of not feeling good, or good about myself.

So today I woke up, and did 2 miles with the Biggest loser power walk DVD. Feels great!

 

[Desiree]

Hey Vija!

I've seen that show. I didnt realize it was back on. Need to go set the dvr! And yes, I know exactly what you mean about being a role model for the kids. I really need to get my tush in gear and help dd too. Hoping its not too late.

 

[wide awake]

Hi,
I've been following your journal since you started, and I really think your problem is that you are too hard on yourself. Every time you post things like "I need to do 4 workouts a day, or I need seven smilies in a row, or I deserved the nasty things the trainer said"...not really direct quotes but you get the gist...you end up in trouble. Be nice to yourself. The week before you fell apart you had five great days in a row. That is something to be proud of. Maybe you haven't lost as much as you wanted, but you have lost some weight haven't you? Your habits are changing slowly but surely. In the long run, which is the only one that counts, you'll make it. If the scale gets you down put it away where you can't get to it w/o really working at it, then you won't give in to impulse weighing. Yes, we all need to keep track, but I know if I get on the scale knowing I've eaten too much, and than yep, there it is, a gain...I eat more! Better to ignore the scale, be moderately good for 2-3 days, then check. Things are back to normal, and I don't fall apart.
Maybe it will make you feel better if you think to where you would probably be weight wise if you hadn't started this program.

 

[jimmduck]

Hi,
I've been following your journal since you started, and I really think your problem is that you are too hard on yourself. Every time you post things like "I need to do 4 workouts a day, or I need seven smilies in a row, or I deserved the nasty things the trainer said"...not really direct quotes but you get the gist...you end up in trouble. Be nice to yourself. The week before you fell apart you had five great days in a row. That is something to be proud of. Maybe you haven't lost as much as you wanted, but you have lost some weight haven't you? Your habits are changing slowly but surely. In the long run, which is the only one that counts, you'll make it. If the scale gets you down put it away where you can't get to it w/o really working at it, then you won't give in to impulse weighing. Yes, we all need to keep track, but I know if I get on the scale knowing I've eaten too much, and than yep, there it is, a gain...I eat more! Better to ignore the scale, be moderately good for 2-3 days, then check. Things are back to normal, and I don't fall apart.
Maybe it will make you feel better if you think to where you would probably be weight wise if you hadn't started this program.

I want to start, Vija, by saying that I agree totally with what was said here.

While I am a short term goal setter, as you know, and need that focus, I also know that it is impossible to be perfect and no sense beating yourself up if you are not.

Sorry Vija - sorry that I have not been on for so long and not there to support you. Sorry, also, that I I have not been on my own game.

Check my blog - I am back on tonight. I am starting a new 30 day renewal.

And I am using the gift you sent to me, which I received a week or so ago.

And I vow to be here every day, cheering you on - for the next 30 days.

Linda

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Wow, I really fell apart for a while. I can't believe how long. It is frustrating as I worked so hard, and then I let myself slip and fall, and REALLY fall. Not sure what was the trigger, but I just had a hard time pulling myself out of the rut. I don't want to dwell on it, as I don't like to whine, so I won't.

thank you so much for your support, I really needed it!

I am too hard on myself, you guys are right, or I set up completely unrealistic expectations. I am back to just focusing on healthy choices, and all the rest will follow... next post is for today...lots of good choices.

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

I had pretty much had it. I didn't like what was going on. I was just laying around doing, well, nothing. some things here and there, but being very unproductive.

Changed some things up this weekend and I feel better.

I bought some new shoes! That was a great choice. My feet were really hurting, but didn't make the connection about getting new shoes. Felt fantastic once I put them on.

Read some more in my motivational book. Interesting section I just finished. Talked about all the different diets out there, well not all of them, but alot of them. I circled some that I kind of liked, but not one was "perfect" for me. It made me realize that what I was doing before, by focusing on healthy choices, was the best thing for me right now. One of the things she mentioned is that you have to be prepared to do this for a lifestyle change... prepared to do it for the rest of my life. I tend to get caught up in the perfectionism, so right now counting calories, or counting points just isn't for me, some bits and pieces of other diets was appealing, but not one had all the elements that got me excited. I needed to step back and just think positive. I liked what I was doing before, it made me feel good, and in charge. so that is what I am doing. I am creating my own "diet", or lifestyle. It is exciting to me, to know that I am doing what I need to for me. Making a plan and making it happen!

Healthy choices for today:
* I woke up early and did 1/2 hour on my stairmaster and 10 push ups. I am going to condition myself so I can go back to TaeKwonDo with my head held high.
*I had a great lunch
*Great dinner
*DID NOT snack after dinner
*drank water at night and not soda
*went for a quick walk at night

I plan on reading my book before bedtime and heading off to bed early.

thanks for sticking this out with me, It feels great to know that someone is reading this with me, I can't tell you enough how thankful I am!

 

[Desiree]

(((HUGS))) Vija, looks like you are back on track now though!

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

(((HUGS))) Vija, looks like you are back on track now though!

Thank you! I feel back on track and really appreciate your support!

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

I got up early today!!! I was exercising by 4:30 am. That is an amazing thing as I am one who really likes her sleep in the morning!

Felt pretty good to do so. Glad I did as I worked almost 2 hours over my hours, and had a meeting tonight, so I would not have had time to get the workout in tonight.

good choices:
woke up early and exercised
had a good lunch
had a good dinner
snack was buttered popcorn at night, not the best choice, but so much better than what I might have had 2 days ago. I ate less than usual and stopped when I felt satisfied. BIG improvement!
Can't forget that I am logging, I want to keep that healthy choice going because it helps me feel accountable.

have a great night everyone!

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

I did great today! skipped on mindlessly munching on chocolate at work. someone brought a bag of halloween candy and left it open on the desk. I had one small one that I took and ate at the end of the lunch. very proud that I didn't take a bunch earlier.

Didn't snack when I came home from work. Instead did 1/2 hour on a biggest loser DVD. Watched my portion size at dinner and then as much as I was craving chocolate, did not have any after dinner! Went to exercise at the gym. I did weights there. Felt great to get back into it.

Came home and had a small snack. Drank lots of water too. feel great about how I did today!

 

[Desiree]

Great job! One day at a time!

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Great job! One day at a time!

love the support! I really need it and appreciate it!

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

And that's what I did. After work I watched some of the biggest loser tv show and of course that always motivates me. I got up off the couch and did some TaeBo. LOVE doing that exercise and it actually went pretty fast for me.

Exercising and moving really does feel so much better than just laying on the couch all night!

 

[elainesj]

I just read your journal tonight for the first time from start till today and i just want to write you a quick note. You are an inspiration. I am a complete stranger just surfing through the disboards and your story caught my attention.

Yesterday, a close friend gave me a challenge (while we were at Japanese buffet to boot!!) to get healthy. I've been contemplating it ever since. some days I want to be healthy, some days I don't. I identify a lot with your struggles and I see a lot of myself in you.

What you have said about focusing on positives and baby steps really resonates with me. I too beat myself up when I fail. I overplan and set all kinds of ambitious goals and when I start failing after a month or so...I beat myself up completely and give up.

Your story inspires me. It;s been over a hundred days...and here you are, still journalling and still committed to your ultimate goal.

When it comes to weight loss, one thing I have discovered. Activity only means so much.....it's the food that counts the most. Last year, I worked out very intensively and I'm proud to say I'm fitter than I've ever been in my life. But I didn't watch my food (or not for long anyway!!) and didn't really lose much weight.

I want to do better. I'm getting closer to making a commitment to making a permanent lifestyle change...baby steps

I also want to take a minute to thank you for your honesty. You have shared the ups and downs of your journey. It's hard to be honest in front of so many people...and you have done your best to bare your heart to us. Thank you - yours is a real journey and I KNOW you will make it!

 

[jimmduck]

Just wanted to step in and say hi Vija - again, absent for too long.

Read my blog for more details, I am just having a really hard time right now, and not with the "health thing" - with life.

You are doing great - keep it up and keep inspiring...

Have a magical day.

Linda

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

I just read your journal tonight for the first time from start till today and i just want to write you a quick note. You are an inspiration. I am a complete stranger just surfing through the disboards and your story caught my attention.

Yesterday, a close friend gave me a challenge (while we were at Japanese buffet to boot!!) to get healthy. I've been contemplating it ever since. some days I want to be healthy, some days I don't. I identify a lot with your struggles and I see a lot of myself in you.

What you have said about focusing on positives and baby steps really resonates with me. I too beat myself up when I fail. I overplan and set all kinds of ambitious goals and when I start failing after a month or so...I beat myself up completely and give up.

Your story inspires me. It;s been over a hundred days...and here you are, still journalling and still committed to your ultimate goal.

When it comes to weight loss, one thing I have discovered. Activity only means so much.....it's the food that counts the most. Last year, I worked out very intensively and I'm proud to say I'm fitter than I've ever been in my life. But I didn't watch my food (or not for long anyway!!) and didn't really lose much weight.

I want to do better. I'm getting closer to making a commitment to making a permanent lifestyle change...baby steps

I also want to take a minute to thank you for your honesty. You have shared the ups and downs of your journey. It's hard to be honest in front of so many people...and you have done your best to bare your heart to us. Thank you - yours is a real journey and I KNOW you will make it!

Wow, I have to say thanks to you too! I really appreciate comments, it feels good to know people are reading this. In addition, I appreciate so very much how you said this was inspiring to you. we do sound so much alike. Making crazy, ambitious goals that sound great initially... sound "perfect" and will yield "the perfect" results. Yet when the time comes to implement them, they are too much, too soon, and too overwhelming. At least that is for me. I would love to live in "Perfect" like the walgreens ad. wouldn't that be a great place to be? then we would have all the right tools, all the right motivations, all the right opportunities to be healthy. Unfortunately we aren't in "Perfect" so we have to make our own motivations, use the tools available to us and create our own opportunities to be healthy. But I guess in the end, as we get healthier, we will be able to be so proud of our accomplishments. I know it is there for us. We just need to be willing to give a little. When we do, the rewards will start to come in and then maybe, just maybe we can give a little more... the ripple effects will lead us to a healthy lifestyle and body that we can be not only proud of, but a body that we feel at ease with and comfortable in our own skin and comfortable doing the things in life we were meant to do.

I really wish you well in your journey. I sure hope the baby steps will be a start for you. Time slips by so quickly, can't believe how far I am in this journey already. If you decide to start a journal, please let me know... I will be there to support you!

Just wanted to step in and say hi Vija - again, absent for too long.

Read my blog for more details, I am just having a really hard time right now, and not with the "health thing" - with life.

You are doing great - keep it up and keep inspiring...

Have a magical day.

Linda

Oh Linda, I am so sorry you are having a rough time. I am sending lots of hugs your way and lots of love!

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Yesterday got home from work really late, I had take out for dinner, and I was OK with that. BUT we were watching TV and I started to get the munchies, and cravings. I knew the safest way to avoid eating anything more was just to go straight to bed, and that is what I did. So it is a good reason as I knew a trigger was coming on, but I found a way to avoid it.

Another great choice was getting up and exercising before work! Did 1/2 hour on the stairmaster and toward the end of it started to bump up the levels. I usually do level 1, But at the end I was alternating between level 1 and level 3 to give it a bit more of a workout. LOVED that!

Didn't snack on any chocolate at work so that was another great choice!

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

elainesj's post from a couple days ago got me to thinking to reveal what inspired me to get back on the bandwagon. I often surf the web for "inspiration", I often look at books, magazines, tvshows, etc for inspiration to get moving, to find that one "thing" that will give me the lightbulb, the drive, the courage, the strength to get moving, and finally get healthy. And the inspiration came from the web, but not in the traditional places I've searched. Dan Murphy posted on the DIS community board a thread that landed me on youtube and that was what motivated me... it was from the pink glove dance competition. Anyone heard of it? In support of breast cancer awareness lots of hospitals submited "dances" of people wearing pink exam gloves and dancing to music. Several of the videos had women in it that were survivors of breast cancer, or women that are courageously fighting it. it got me to thinking about these women... they are fighting so hard to survive, to be able to enjoy the life they have... and it got me to thinking about how I was wasting my life. sitting on the couch night after night, watching TV, living vicariously through other people, just waiting for bedtime to come, eating away my worries, sadness, depression, complacency, fears, and most of all my regrets. What the heck was I doing? How dare I waste my life away, these women inspired me like nothing else has.

A link to the youtube website... http://pinkglovedance.com/competition/entry-39

In addition, monkeyboy posted a question...

If you wrote a book about your life....

what would you call it?

who would play you in the big screen adaptation?

I have to say that some of the titles running around in my head actually embarass me, but mostly sadden me...

"stuck in the 80's"
"always looking back or dreamin of the future, but not living in the present"
"living in the past"
"living beyond my means"
"wallowing in regret"
"letting life slip past"
"selfishly setting bad examples of unhealthy eating"
"letting fear guide my decisions"
"please like me/please love me"
"living in the shadow of attempted perfection"
"coming so close, but giving up just before completing a goal"


This has been a big eye opener for me... It made me look at my life, and things that I am not happy about and making the decison that it is not too late to "write another book". I want to write a better book, a book that resonates a better message, one that shows POSITIVE, STRONG, COURAGEOUS, CONFIDENT, HAPPY, GIVING, DISCIPLINED, LOVING, LOVED, INSPIRING, SUCCESFULL, WOMAN/MOTHER/FRIEND

so I am issuing a challenge to myself that at the end of the 365 days, I will have a better list of possible names for a book.

Healthy choices for today:
worked out to billy blanks this morning, did the entire DVD! instead of just 1/2 hour that was originally planned
Didn't snack during the day
walked during the afternoon