Would you be offended?

[mefordis]

I don't know how big your sister is but I do know how she feels. You can't do anything but be supportive, sorry for the comparison but just like an alcoholic she will find a bottom. I did.

I had some trauma and self medicated with food. I couldn't drink or drug because my job tests for those so I ate. I got myself all the way to 347lbs before I hit my wall. 18 months later I ran a marathon in WDW, it could not have been done without the support of my family & friends who never insulted or criticized me. When I was ready they just said OK.

So just be there & when she is ready just say OK, I'm with you.

Oh my gosh thank you so much for sharing this! I cannot believe in only 18 months you were able to run a marathon!! Did you lose all the weight in 18 months?!

 

[usnuzuloose]

It is offensive, but I would not say anything and embarrass her. If I wanted more when I was done I would help myself to more. Now if you the person would have said help keep me in check for portion control that would be a whole different matter.

 

[MickeySP]

I had Bypass, it was on all my DR recommendation. My tipping point was having to use an ECV in Disney. OMG I was one of THEM!!! The people who have no disabilities except I couldn't carry all that weight & breathe. It was till not easy as soon as I could about 1 week out I hit the gym hard. I spent 2 hours in the gym & on my lunch I walked. Sorry it was a 1/2 marathon. I had a year of intense therapy, nutrition & exercise guidance before the surgery so I did lose some before.

Weight is a funny thing, most people who have never been there think - Just eat less, move more. Fat (yes I was fat, not Pooh sized or chubby or hefty) people are not jolly, not lazy & most are not happy about their weight - they are just people.

 

[dotfurio]

Let's remember that the OP posed this as somewhat of a hypothetical. The OP didn't mention being present, hearing any comments or seeing the size of the cake slices. She's hardly "siding" with anybody given that the entire thing may or may not have even actually happened.

Did you read OPs response to her? It sounds like siding with the MILs opinion and approach to me.

Thanks for the reply . I told her to just use this as motivation to lose weight since she's always telling me she wants to lose weight is having a very hard time controlling her sugar intake anyway.

Reading further I know it was not your intention to hurt her feelings, OP, but I agree an apology is probably a good idea.

 

[mefordis]

I had Bypass, it was on all my DR recommendation. My tipping point was having to use an ECV in Disney. OMG I was one of THEM!!! The people who have no disabilities except I couldn't carry all that weight & breathe. It was till not easy as soon as I could about 1 week out I hit the gym hard. I spent 2 hours in the gym & on my lunch I walked. Sorry it was a 1/2 marathon. I had a year of intense therapy, nutrition & exercise guidance before the surgery so I did lose some before.

Weight is a funny thing, most people who have never been there think - Just eat less, move more. Fat (yes I was fat, not Pooh sized or chubby or hefty) people are not jolly, not lazy & most are not happy about their weight - they are just people.

A 1/2 marathon is a huge accomplishment!! Do you mind my asking how much you lost in 18 months? I think my sister needs to lose about 100 at this point.

 

[MickeySP]

A 1/2 marathon is a huge accomplishment!! Do you mind my asking how much you lost in 18 months? I think my sister needs to lose about 100 at this point.

I went from 347, well 321 at surgery time to 138.

 

[mefordis]

I went from 347, well 321 at surgery time to 138.

I am absolutely shocked! You are skinny now!! Great job! Was this in 18 months? Sorry same question I just cannot believe it (I do believe it though).

 

[wenrob]

Here's the difference if it's too much who is to say she had to eat the whole thing I don't always finish everything in front of me

I have no idea what this has to do with my post.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I have no idea what this has to do with my post.

If mil would have given her a full slice then she could have decided if she wanted the whole thing or not

 

[Art 1]

Yes insulting people is HILARIUOS!!

I never thought insulting people was hilarious as you say. Depends on if you think it was insulting. I think she did her a favor. To me the story was funny when I first read it. I don't find it insulting.

 

[Minnesota!]

Nope. If I am overweight, I know it. Why get offended? If it bugs you, call out the cake server on it.

 

[wenrob]

If mil would have given her a full slice then she could have decided if she wanted the whole thing or not

That's what I said at the end of my post: Let people be responsible for themselves. If you read the context of the entire post I never implied anything else.

 

[declansdad]

I think it's funny. MIL did her a favor.

MIl was rude, the quoted post is rude and the story wasn't hypothetical.

 

[MickeySP]

I never thought insulting people was hilarious as you say. Depends on if you think it was insulting. I think she did her a favor. To me the story was funny when I first read it. I don't find it insulting.

Really so you can decide how your guests should live their lives. She did not do her a favor she insulted her. So if I think on of my guests is a mysoginist rude person should I hand them a book on etiquette.

She is an ADULT & has right to conduct as she sees fit with no interference

 

[MickeySP]

I am absolutely shocked! You are skinny now!! Great job! Was this in 18 months? Sorry same question I just cannot believe it (I do believe it though).

Yes I had the surgery the Monday before thanksgiving 2004, ran the 1/2 in 2006. Not skinny now I gained back 55 after knee surgeries working in that now.

 

[Art 1]

Really so you can decide how your guests should live their lives. She did not do her a favor she insulted her. So if I think on of my guests is a mysoginist rude person should I hand them a book on etiquette.

She is an ADULT & has right to conduct as she sees fit with no interference

Two complete different things I think.

 

[Luvstotravel]

Doesn't sound hypothetical to me.

 

[MickeySP]

Two complete different things I think.

Why because one is physical & the other is just obnoxious & offensive? Sorry would rather be with a fat person than one who espouses diminishing others & thinking they know it all.

 

[spacemountainmom]

It was rude of the MIL. Frankly, it sounds like something mine would do. Passive aggressive is her specialty.

 

[Alesia]

Let's remember that the OP posed this as somewhat of a hypothetical. The OP didn't mention being present, hearing any comments or seeing the size of the cake slices. She's hardly "siding" with anybody given that the entire thing may or may not have even actually happened.

I think the OP is just confused about what the word "hypothetical" means. I'm pretty sure the situation actually happened.