Why I Hate Starbucks...

[NMAmy]

or really any fancy coffee shop. I believe I am one of the few adults in America who cannot stand coffee. Really, I detest it.

However, my dh and my dd are both coffee freaks. If it had been up to me, dd would never have tasted it but she spent the night with a friend and the girl's grandmother gave the kids coffee mixed with milk--I have no idea what the woman was thinking because who would give a houseful of kids COFFEE--I'd be giving them all Benadryl, myself (not really!) She was about 8 and came home wanting coffee. Well, since Mommy didn't even own a coffee maker at the time, that was the end of that.

Then when DH and I started dating, one of the first things he ever bought me was a coffee maker. For himself. How romantic. And he started buying dd fancy flavored coffee creamer and got her hooked. It was a way for them to bond.

We took dd to the airport last weekend to go to her dad's. DD and DH spotted a Starbucks and they both wanted something "coffee-ish." So, they dragged me in there with them.

First off--I hate the names they use. We can't just say small, medium, or large--no, that would be WAY too easy and take away from the "coffee drinking experience." That's how dh explained it to me, anyway. Secondly, I am dh's designated translator. He is from England and even though he's lived in the United States for over 20 years, has a job, owns a house, pays taxes, etc. no one at a fast food restaurant or a coffee shop can understand his accent. So, ever since I've known him, he tells me what he wants and I tell the cashier what he wants. If we go to the drive-thru somewhere I have to YELL his order from the passenger seat. I have no idea how he functions in public without me--maybe he doesn't eat or drink when I'm not around to provide it for him. Did I mention that he's from ENGLAND and his first (and only) language is ENGLISH? I have no idea why no one can understand him but, he's right, they can't.

Of course, dd could have placed the complicated order but, well, she's 15 and basically anything she can pawn off on me, she will. So, she turned to me and said, "I'll have a grande blah blah blah" and wandered off. Seriously, I'm pretty sure SHE was not speaking English at that point. She was born here, she has no excuse. I made her come back and tell me slowly what it was she wanted. DH, who hates to make a decision, piped up, "I'll have that, too." So, me, the one who doesn't drink coffee and doesn't drink any hot drinks and has absolutely no interest in any kind of coffee flavored ANYTHING had to tell the snotty barrista what our order was even though I'm pretty sure I was speaking a foreign language at the time. I must have been speaking the wrong language though because she corrected me. Okay, whatever, it's not for me, I'm sure they'll take whatever you've got, lady, and maybe they'll learn to order themselves.

Then, came the worst part of the whole experience. NINE DOLLARS for coffee??? Not even for like two cans of coffee but two CUPS? Sheesh, I knew there was a reason my mom wouldn't let me drink coffee as a teenager. I called her later to thank her.

Pray for me...I have to meet dd at the airport again this Saturday. I don't think I can take another Starbucks experience--it just exhausts me.

 

[Maleficent13]

I'm not a coffee drinker either (see...another separated at birth moment! ) and to spend $9 on coffee would floor me! I will occasionally have a cup of coffee if I'm having dessert at a restaurant and the mood hits me...but then it's only your standard $1.50 bottomless cup!

btw...I'll translate for your DH anytime...

 

[ford family]

Order the Earl Grey Tea and add a dash of skimmed milk - superb!

ford family

 

[MickeysMommy]

Amy if your husband sounds like Ed from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition...then, watch out Mal, I think I am in

I love the smell of coffee but coffee doesn't agree with me (sorry) but I too, if I am out, will have a cup after dinner. Now, bring me a Diet Black Cherry Vanilla Coke and I'm all set

Here's the little cutie...

 

[kelleigh1]

Actually...you were speaking a foreign language. Just about everything on the Starbucks menu is in Italian, I think.

But I'm with you on not liking coffee. I don't drink it at all. Never have. There are things at Starbucks that I do like though, so I do go there - even on my own. But almost never at an airport because the prices are probably double what you'd pay at a local Starbucks. I know that the ones here in Boston are more expensive than the one out in my little town. Hubby drinks coffee every day. I bought him a coffee maker that makes one cup at a time - and it doesn't use those pod things, but real coffee so it's pennies a cup and not wads of cash.

 

[NMAmy]

Order the Earl Grey Tea and add a dash of skimmed milk - superb!

ford family

That's another little cultural difference dh and I have--the thought of milk in tea makes me --when we visited his family in England, his dad was amazed that I didn't want anything in my tea. I like it straight, thanks. Although, this is another thing he and dd have bonded over--she'll ask him to make her a cup of "English tea."

Mal, DH will be happy to have another back-up besides dd for a translator. She's not very dependable. She spends a lot of time trying to figure out how to get me to do stuff for her.

And, Stacey, I've never seen Extreme Home Makeover so I'll have to check to see if he sounds like Ed. He has kind of a mixed up accent and when he is mocking me by telling someone something I've said, he sounds like the Monty Python guys pretending to be women. I've told him it's NOT very flattering to make me sound like a harpy. If we watch a Hugh Grant movie, he starts adding...pauses...to the middle...of his...sentences. I think it's contagious or something.

 

[Dan Murphy]

LOL, too funny.

I really enjoy coffee, black and strong (not bitter, but a strong coffee flavor....not flavored). We do grind our own every AM, Starbucks (purchased at Costco), French Roast, the boldest (strongest). If I go to a Starbucks, I order a small, black. Period, LOL. One thing I like about a Starbucks store is it smells like coffee, not a perfume store, like all the other coffee shops. If they add a flavor (I can't stand flavors), they add some sugar syrup, thereby not making the place stink like a perfume store when all the various flavors are being brewed, yuck. If I have to go in a convenience store; 7-11, White Hen, etc, I am almost nauseated by the stink.

I agree, $4.50 for a foo-foo coffee is a bit high, a buck and a half is about right for me.

 

[NMAmy]

If I go to a Starbucks, I order a small, black. Period, LOL.

See, Dan, I didn't even know that it was POSSIBLE to just place an order like that at Starbucks! Of course, dd needs to be as fancy as possible and DH just follows her lead.

Next time, Dan, I'm going with you instead.

 

[imsorry]

This is so funny!! I know how you feel, I do like coffee, but saying Venti embarrasses me for some reason! I always tell them small, medium or large and let them translate!

 

[Meriweather]

I don't drink coffee at all either....but I don't hate Starbucks, or any other. If people want to spend their money for that, fine with me.
I will spend mine in an equally frivolous way
They do make good hot chocolate

 

[monarchsfan16]

That's why mom only goes to Dunkin Donuts. They speak our language. Plain and simple. Also, aside from the Starbucks in the bookstore, we don't really have Starbucks here.
I don't drink coffee. I'm actually the only one of my friends here at school that doesn't drink coffee or tea.

 

[DVCLiz]

I only know three words when I go to Starbucks - "Small hot chocolate." It works every time!!!

 

[Shugardrawers]

My Sista!!! I thought I was the only adult on earth who didn't like coffee! I don't even like the smell. I just tolerate it because Dh doesn't function before 9am without it. I drink iced tea in the morning to get my caffiene fix. Long ago my parents absolutely adored my boyfriend (not Dh) and would have wet their pants if I'd have married him. They bought me a coffee maker for christmas that year. They knew I didn't drink coffee Their little ploy, alas, didnt work. Dh often wants to stop at Starbucks or one of the bookstores for his $5 coffee and then has a coronary when I want a $4 desert from the same place

 

[Trish Bessette]

I don't care for their coffee either. However the VENTI SWEETENED PASSION ICED TEA is to die for!! And it's only $2.15!!

 

[TnKrBeLlA012]

I am not a coffe drinker. Diet Coke? That's my vice. My daughter who never drank a cup of coffee loves going to Star Bucks. I think it is the "in" thing to do. All her friends hang out and drink coffee. I'm not sure why but that is what she now does.

 

[NMAmy]

My Sista!!! I thought I was the only adult on earth who didn't like coffee!

Have you met our long lost triplet, Mal?

I knew if I posted on here I'd find some other "grownups" who didn't like coffee, too!

Oh, and Tinkerbell, I'm a Diet Coke fiend, too. Actually, Diet Coke OR Diet Pepsi, I don't much care.

 

[minniecarousel]

Thanks for the chuckle of the day, Amy! (spoken like a true non-coffee person!)

Using the Italian for the size coffee is rather pompous.

 

[azgal81]

I don't drink much coffee either. I can't really stand hot coffee it tastes weird to me and burns my mouth. I will sometimes get their iced frappuccinos the caramel one is my favorite. That is about once a month usually less. Their caramel apple cider is also really good!

 

[Mugg Mann]

Longtime exotic coffee drinker here, but I can't stand "Charbucks". To me that name says it all.......

 

[kelleigh1]

I don't care for their coffee either. However the VENTI SWEETENED PASSION ICED TEA is to die for!! And it's only $2.15!!

Have you tried the passion iced tea lemonade? YUM! That's my favorite.