When should you STOP making lunches for your kids?

[Magpie]

I noticed on another thread that a number of people thought a mum shouldn't even be making lunch for her high school son, and never mind what she might draw on his paper sack.

So, I'm curious: WHEN do you think mothers (or fathers) should stop making lunches for their kids? And if you think they should stop at a particular age or grade, why? What positive or negative things do you see about a parent making lunch for an older kid?

Me, I make lunches for my husband to take to his office job, so I can't very well quit making lunches for the kids. It wouldn't be fair. Also, there's probably cultural differences that come into play here, too. But I'm curious about what other people think, and why they do what they do.

 

[golfgal]

Pretty much after kindergarten the rule at our house was if you wanted to bring bag lunch to school, you make it. Why would you need to do this for a high schooler???

 

[bethbuchall]

I also make lunch for my husband to take to work every day. I make lunches for my 17-year old daughter (senior in high school) and 11-year old son (6th grade) at the same time. I made lunch for my oldest (who is now in his 2nd year of college away from home) through his senior year. He is plenty capable of making his own breakfast, lunch, and dinner and eats well at school. When he was home for the summer and working, I would sometimes make a lunch for him when I was making my husband's lunch. It depended on his schedule. I don't think any of them have suffered any negative effects from having mom (or wife) make the bag lunch in the morning. They could certainly do it if I didn't, but why not make mornings a little easier for them, since I can?

 

[Cinderelley]

I noticed on another thread that a number of people thought a mum shouldn't even be making lunch for her high school son, and never mind what she might draw on his paper sack.

So, I'm curious: WHEN do you think mothers (or fathers) should stop making lunches for their kids? And if you think they should stop at a particular age or grade, why? What positive or negative things do you see about a parent making lunch for an older kid?

Me, I make lunches for my husband to take to his office job, so I can't very well quit making lunches for the kids. It wouldn't be fair. Also, there's probably cultural differences that come into play here, too. But I'm curious about what other people think, and why they do what they do.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. My brother(26) and I (20) still live at home. Sometimes if we run late getting to work, my mom will pack our lunches. Sometimes my brother will even draw Disney characters on his paper sack if he has time. I mean, it shouldn't matter who packs it right? As long as they have a lunch

 

[BeefJerky]

At the age that they start complaining about what I pack THAT'S the age to make their own lunch.

 

[DawnM]

PERFECT ANSWER!

I still make everyone lunch.

Dawn

At the age that they start complaining about what I pack THAT'S the age to make their own lunch.

 

[Julylady]

In my family, the kids start making the all the sack lunches at about the middle school level. It is one of the "chores" that can be done to earn allowance money. The assigned lunch-maker makes them for the whole family including Mom and Dad.

 

[dislaney]

My children are in high school and I still make their lunches. I don't draw pictures on the bags though. I do occasionally put a note or picture inside.

They are perfectly capable of making their own lunches and do sometimes, when I'm sick or out of town. I really don't think I am harming them that much.

The oldest buys lunch some days but only because they are able to leave campus and likes the food choices better off campus.

 

[brockash]

I stopped making lunches for my DS in 2nd grade (that's also around the time he started getting his own breakfast in the morning.) It was actually my DH who kept saying I was babying him ect. Anyways, I thought about it and decided, that yeah, making his own lunch was something he was very capable of, and probably should do himself. I just think it teaches responsibility. Having said that, I certainly don't agree with making your spouses lunch for work as something the other should always do either. I don't make my DH's lunch, and I don't really understand why anyone would think that I should or vice versa. Seems pretty silly to me. If he's running late or something in the morning (he always makes it in the morning) then of course I'll help out, but otherwise, why on earth should it be my job to make a grown adults lunch

 

[katesorad]

My mom stopped making me lunches generally after elementary school. I started buying lunch in middle school because it was the "cool" thing to do. But if I needed my mom to make me something for lunch to take to school, I'm sure she would have.

But generally speaking, I'd say that parents should either teach their kids to make their own lunches during middle school. It's just kind of part of growing up, in my opinion. When I was a kid, I'd throw my own bagel or pop tarts in the toaster.. and I even made my brothers eggs and bacon if my parents were still asleep.

 

[Fantasmic23]

At the age that they start complaining about what I pack THAT'S the age to make their own lunch.

 

[Mom21]

I'm hesitant to mention this but my dd is homeschooled. Just saying she is not sheltered or molly coddled (sp?). She has homeschool classes one day a week. She doesn't sleep well often as she has to get up earlier than normal on that day. I pack her lunch and don't think anything about it. On days she's home she will ask if I will heat up this or that. If I say ok then ok. If I say no then she just does it herself. She will be 14 in a few weeks. I don't see a big deal.

She is trying to go to a special high school next year located on a college campus and will have lunches like a college student. If she wants me to pack her lunch I likely will. Same as I would for anyone that asked me if I'm not doing anything. I can't imagine saying no just because the child is a certain age. Once I know the child is old enough, then if I can't due to time constraints then I say no. Otherwise I will. No biggie in my world. Sometimes I wonder why people think so much about stuff (not really meaning you OP--just thinking myself--LOL)

 

[Magpie]

Pretty much after kindergarten the rule at our house was if you wanted to bring bag lunch to school, you make it. Why would you need to do this for a high schooler???

I don't think it's an issue of "need" - it's more a matter of convenience. I don't really need to have four people underfoot while I'm trying to make breakfasts in the morning. Our kitchen is big, but it's not THAT big. It's bad enough my husband and mother-in-law have to come in to make coffee while I'm trying to get things done. I really don't want my kids in there, too.

It's cheaper if everyone brings lunches.

It's good for my husband's diet, and also for my son's hypoglycemia.

And... I kind of enjoy feeding my family, to be honest. They're generally appreciative of my efforts, and they let me know it, too.

BTW, they all know how to cook for themselves. Sometimes my son even takes over and makes breakfast for everyone on the weekend. (He thinks he's a better cook than me!)

 

[bigbabyblues]

When SHOULD I stop? I don't know. I think it depends on the child.

My boys are 10 and 7, and they pack their own lunches. I cut up the veggies and they are in ziploc baggies in the fridge. They know what they are supposed to get (veggie, fruit, snack, etc), and they make their own sandwiches anyway. If they need help with something, they ask. I occasionally check to see what they have, but we haven't had any problems.

 

[SaraJayne]

My 9 year old makes her own lunch and so does my DH.

 

[Magpie]

I stopped making lunches for my DS in 2nd grade (that's also around the time he started getting his own breakfast in the morning.) It was actually my DH who kept saying I was babying him ect. Anyways, I thought about it and decided, that yeah, making his own lunch was something he was very capable of, and probably should do himself. I just think it teaches responsibility. Having said that, I certainly don't agree with making your spouses lunch for work as something the other should always do either. I don't make my DH's lunch, and I don't really understand why anyone would think that I should or vice versa. Seems pretty silly to me. If he's running late or something in the morning (he always makes it in the morning) then of course I'll help out, but otherwise, why on earth should it be my job to make a grown adults lunch

I make it because my husband likes it and appreciates it. And because, left to his own devices, he never finds the time in the morning to make it for himself. He always just buys something downtown and that's really bad for his diet.

I originally started making his lunches when his doctor told me he had to lose weight. He lost about 60lbs over the course of a couple years, and I've continued to make his lunches because I think it helps him keep the weight off even when he's not actively on a diet.

Also, I'm a SAHM and writer. My hours are my own. So I'm the one with the most flexibility in the morning - not my husband or my kids.

 

[elgerber]

I make my dd's lunch, she is in 9th grade. It's not because anyone expects me to, it's because I want too. They leave so early for school, it's just easier for me to do it, while she eats or showers. On weekends, and during breaks, my kids, both in high school, feed themselves. They are more than capable of taking care of themselves, but I really don't get why anyone else would be offended if I make my dd's lunch?

 

[bethbuchall]

I don't need to make lunches for my husband and children. I don't feel that it is my job to make lunches for my husband and children. I do it because it works out the best for my family that way. It's easier for me to just pack them all at once than to have 3 or 4 people all trying to make lunches at the same time. They are all perfectly capable of making their own lunches and haven't been babied or coddled. It is something that I want to do, and they are perfectly happy to have me do that so that they can focus on other things in the mornings.

Maybe your needs and desires are different. If you are also trying to rush out the door in the morning, you may not have the time to make everyone's lunches. If you sleep in, your children may need to make their own lunches.

In our house, I can easily make all the lunches and do not mind doing it. It works for us and hasn't stunted anyone's personal development, so I'll continue doing it.

 

[Cindy B]

My kids started making their own at 2nd grade..

 

[Scurvy]

I think you should stop making lunches for your child when the child is old enough to make his own lunch and either you don't want to do it anymore or the child would rather do it himself. Otherwise, I think you should keep doing it as long as you feel like it.