When should you STOP making lunches for your kids?

[Fantasmic23]

I stopped making my daughter's lunch when she was in the 2nd Grade. She asked if she could start making her own lunch (I was charmed, as this was the age/grade when I started making my own lunch). Of course, I looked on as she got her own lunch ready, to make sure she wasn't packing garbage.

With my son (8), lunch-making is a bit more tricky as he has type 1 diabetes and an assortment of food allergies. We decide together what he'll take for lunch (And I sometimes veto certain foods). He helps me pack his lunch - Putting foods in Ziploc baggies, putting in his juice box, napkin, etc. When he comes home in the afternoon, he washes out his Thermos as he usually always takes soup or something else that must be kept hot.

 

[brockash]

I make it because my husband likes it and appreciates it. And because, left to his own devices, he never finds the time in the morning to make it for himself. He always just buys something downtown and that's really bad for his diet.

I originally started making his lunches when his doctor told me he had to lose weight. He lost about 60lbs over the course of a couple years, and I've continued to make his lunches because I think it helps him keep the weight off even when he's not actively on a diet.

Also, I'm a SAHM and writer. My hours are my own. So I'm the one with the most flexibility in the morning - not my husband or my kids.

I guess if it works for you guys, and you're happy with it, that's all that matters. For the spouse thing, it just seems odd to me, that a grown adult wouldn't take it upon themselves to stay healthy ect., and would rather have someone else do it. It reminds me of an attorney I used to work with (he was in his late 60's.) A bunch of us went to lunch one day, and he literally didn't know what to order, or how to order it. Every time the waitress would ask him a question, he just looked at all of us with this blank face and then we'd have to help him. He said his wife always did "that kind of stuff for him" His wife also was always the person that would call the office if he was going to be late/out ect. I don't know, it just seems weird to me.

As for the kiddos, mine makes it the night before. It's so much easier to prepare and have it already done, before the morning rush.

 

[Minnie_me]

My DDs are 10 and 13. During the weekend, and school breaks, they make their own lunches. (and breakfasts, for that matter)

But on school days, I totally prefer to make their lunches for them. We have a system for getting ready on school days that works for us. My making their lunches is part of our routine; I do it while they're eating breakfast. If they had to make their own lunches, we'd have to add time onto our routine, and it would be a bit chaotic with the 3 of us trying to make all of our lunches at the same time.

As far as this issue goes, I say, "To each his own". Whatever works for your family is what you should do.

 

[njmom47]

I still make lunch for ds (age 15, freshman in HS) when he takes it. I have more time than he does in the AM so it's not that big a deal (2 pbjs and a snack, he grabs his own drink).

 

[Pembo]

What Scurvy said...

 

[Magpie]

I guess if it works for you guys, and your happy with it, that's all that matters. For the spouse thing, it just seems odd to me, that a grown adult wouldn't take it upon themselves to stay healthy ect., and would rather have someone else do it. It reminds me of an attorney I used to work with (he was in his late 60's.) A bunch of us went to lunch one day, and he literally didn't know what to order, or how to order it. Every time the waitress would ask him a question, he just looked at all of us with this blank face and then we'd have to help him. He said his wife always did "that kind of stuff for him" His wife also was always the person that would call the office if he was going to be late/out ect. I don't know, it just seems weird to me.

As for the kiddos, mine makes it the night before. It's so much easier to prepare and have it already done, before the morning rush.

Well, that's definitely not our situation! I'm actually the one who has trouble with restaurants (not ordering, but figuring out tip), because my husband's always the one who pays.

And I've never called his office, except when I want to talk to him. He tries to stay healthy, but losing weight has been a team effort. I don't think he would have succeeded without me, and I'm sure there's lots of other people who could use a little spousal support, too. I'm glad I could be here to give it to him!

 

[Wall-E1]

I still make lunch for my kid in high school. It never occurred to me that I should stop at some point. I wonder what would happen if I did. Would he begin foraging for himself, or simply curl up in a ball and die of starvation?

 

[Anne34]

I make my dd's lunch, she is in 9th grade. It's not because anyone expects me to, it's because I want too. They leave so early for school, it's just easier for me to do it, while she eats or showers. On weekends, and during breaks, my kids, both in high school, feed themselves. They are more than capable of taking care of themselves, but I really don't get why anyone else would be offended if I make my dd's lunch?

Same here -- its just easier. I make all 3 kids lunches (Senior, Sophomore & 7th grade) They take care of their lunches on Saturdays when we are all our running around, but I help them out during the week.

 

[SaraJayne]

I still make lunch for my kid in high school. It never occurred to me that I should stop at some point. I wonder what would happen if I did. Would he begin foraging for himself, or simply curl up in a ball and die of starvation?

I have a 14 year old. It could go either way.

 

[hereyago]

You haven't seen my DM77. She was very spoiled and many people enabled that. I was 5 when I started making my own sandwiches and waking up for school so DF could take me, DM just wasnt into it. Some people won't do something on their own if they don't have to. When DF retired all the way, he would make her lunch, do the errands. I get to be the evil one because I won't wait on her hand and foot.

She has Parkinson's, uses a walker for safety, but doesn't want to have to do anything.Her dr's have told her she has to do as much as she can to keep her body moving and bay off the stiffness of the Parkinson's. but when someone didn't do anything before, she isn't about to start now. it is very pathetic behavior.

She was in a rehab a couple years ago after falling breaking her hip> they were doing an exercise of just folding clothes I guess for hand dexterity. she flat out told them "I haven't folded clothes in over 40 years I am not about to start now". this was the expression of the OT And I confirmed, she didn't do anything, because she didn't have to. She did do this stuff when her first husband beat her, then if DF would say something about not cleaning,etc she would be like" but so and so used to beat me if i didn't do it, so are you going to beat me if i don't? that worked, because she knew DF would never lay a hand on her.

 

[bdcp]

I was such a mean mom. My boys were making their lunches by 4th grade and I was also a SAHM. I made sure they had what they needed, but it was up to them to put it together. Guess what? They ate what they took and they always took pretty well balanced lunches. No, they weren't allowed to pick anything they wanted such as all cookies or something, they knew what they were allowed to take. They are now adults (24 and 27) and guess what? No harm done. It certainly won't ruin their lives to make their own lunch. Look at it as one of their chores. Just because I was a SAHM didn't mean I was there to cater to their every single solitary want or desire. We have a wonderful loving relationship with our sons, but they are independent adults who learned to make their own beds at 5 and do their own laundry by 12 or 13. DH has made his own lunch all along too because it's his lunch and he packs what he wants.

 

[fairestoneofall]

my kids are still young, so i make their lunches. DD 9 is homeschooled though and often makes her own sandwich. today, she made her own sandwich. DS is in half-day kindergarten. i generally make his lunch.

i believe my mom made my lunches all through high school.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Whenever you want to?

My son buys lunch at school (he's 17), but if he took it, I'd make it for him sometimes, especially when I'm not working.

 

[tiggersbombed2]

When you are sick or tired of doing it and your kid is old enough to make their own. Mine are of an age to get their own, sometimes they do and sometimes I do. Depends on the day.

If you like doing, who cares what people on a message board think of you, do it! If you hate to do it, teach the little sprout how to slap a pb&j together. Whatever works for you.

Color it if you must.

 

[Luv'sTink]

At the age that they start complaining about what I pack THAT'S the age to make their own lunch.

Great Answer!


I do what I want for my son, when I want to. Sometimes my husband thinks he should do this or that for himself and I smile and say "Soooo that means you can do it for yourself too, right?"

 

[The Pink Cupcake]

I am a SAHM. I make lunches for DH and the kids. It is the least I can do

Just because I was a SAHM didn't mean I was there to cater to their every single solitary want or desire.

I don't consider feeding my children catering to wants and desires.

 

[ems_mom]

I don't think there is a right/wrong answer to this question. I depends on your situation, your child's needs, etc.

Personally, I'm not sure if its necessary to teach your child to be "independent" by having them make their own lunch at age 6 or even older. You might be teaching them another unintended lesson. Like, my Mom has a lot of priorities higher than me.

I made my daughters lunch when she wanted one until she went to college. She is 26 now and completely independent.

 

[hereyago]

Very true.

 

[ilovejack02]

I am a SAHM. I make lunches for DH and the kids. It is the least I can do



I don't consider feeding my children catering to wants and desires.

I am also a SAHM. I pack DH's lunch , when I clean up the kitchen at night . Pack both of my kids lunch , when my oldest was at home, I packed it for him in high school, If I didn't get to it, he did it himself. I figured since I was home I could do it lol. No complaining allowed though , which he learned quickly.

DS21 is on his own and manages a kitchen at a high end restaurant, he is a great cook. I packed his lunch and he still learned his way around a kitchen . Guess I didn't do a bad a job.

I will pack DS8's lunch for as long as he wants me too. I know about little boys hygiene habits , as much as I talk to him about washing his hands , I really don't want him in my fridge touching my lunch meat. lol

 

[Suellen]

Hmmm I don't make lunches because they both eat at school. BUT I will say this... my DD is 5.5 and can make her own sandwiches and get her own snacks from her snack basket. Does that mean I don't get her snacks or make her a sandwich? Of course not ~ but she is self sufficient enough to do it herself.