When should you STOP making lunches for your kids?

[NHdisneylover]

I think I see where the OP was going with the question and then the update. my MIL catered to her children (to the point that a grown 30 something year old has 'mom' make important phone calls for him... that was SOO annoying to ME!) its one thing to cater to your child to the point that you are actually hindering thier independence. it's another thing totally to do something for someone you love out of kindness... (and if I'm gonna make you lunch in the a.m. then I love you 'cuz that's a job I actually hate)

I make lunchs for myself, my 2 kids and my dh most mornings. some mornings, one of the kids makes all of us lunches, and sometimes DH does. the point is everyone in my family is capable of making the lunches and knows how to do it... once you make sure they are capable of doing something (you teach them how to do it) at that point it makes it more of a "treat" to do it for them (or let them do it for you ) vs another "chore" on the list. The whole teach a man to fish theory...ok so I've taught them how to fish.. does not mean I'll never fish for them again, I just made sure they have the training..

I completely agree with this Both of my kids learned how to make their own lunches in first grade. They are fully capable of doing so and DO do so if I am sick, out of town, just short on time that day, etc. However, most days I make it for them. Once I drop them at the train in the mornings I can come back home and shower/get ready for the day then--whereas they have to be out the door for the day at 7:04. SO, I think it is nice that I can take over that one thing for them and give them less to worry about in the mornings (and I agree with many that many things are just not fresh enough if made up the night before).

Everyone at their school is actually required to eat hot lunch (it is family style) but this years cook is terrible so pretty much the entire school takes lunch sized snacks for morning break and then picks at lunch time

I enjoy packing these "snacks" for the kids most days. I even enjoy packing things I know each will like (which means almost never do they have the same thing This morning DD14 left with a container of fresh mozzarella, a chunk of the bread I made last night, a handful of cherry tomatoes and 2 sliced carrots. DS12 had some of the bread too (with a slice of cheddar between two slices), mixed nuts, raisins and a square of chocolate. No notes in the lunches and no drawings on the outside. Funny though, most everyone here carries plastic "bread boxes" for lunch or snack (no brown bags). The kids ASKED for ones shaped like giant legos this summer when we saw them at Legoland. There are little smaller lego shaped inserts in two sizes to put things in inside as well. I was like, seriously?!--you want those for 6th and 9th grade???!! They assured me that yes they were really cool and their friends would love them--surprisingly enough they do (I think we have to tro to find two more as birthday gifts for DD's classmates when Legoland opens this spring--by request)--you just never know with that ge

 

[kacaju]

I work in our HS cafeteria. I will not only make my dd's lunches through their senior year, I also make their friends lunches!! LOL!!

 

[The Pink Cupcake]

As far as my DH's lunch. He is a grow man and if he want to 'take' a lunch to work... he can pack it.

I look at is as that "grown man" goes to work everyday and works his tail off so I can stay home. I also iron his non-dry cleaned shirts and do all of his laundry I know he can do these things, but again, it is the least I can do for somebody that gives so much to me. Just my personal opinion.

It is interesting to see everyone's opinions on this thread.

 

[The Pink Cupcake]

I work in our HS cafeteria. I will not only make my dd's lunches through their senior year, I also make their friends lunches!! LOL!!

 

[mhsjax]

I get up and make my kids breakfast on school days. I don't work and I won't sleep while they are up and about trying to get ready for school. On weekends all bets are off, you want breakfast, you know where it is.

Lunches, I make also for a number of reasons. My kids are 14, 12, and 10. There rarely take lunch. My kitchen is way too small for everyone to be in it at the same time. The get up pretty early, so I let them sleep until the last minute and making lunch the night before is a big no no. JMHO, but I can't stand and won't eat a sandwich that has been sitting in the fridge over night, (where is that puke siggie). They are capable, they do it on the weekends, and my DD about to turn 12, actually started making chocolate cake from scratch, without any help from me, over a year ago. They do make their lunch on the weekends usually.

So I guess whatever works for your family is fine. As long as you make sure your kids can make a lunch, then no big deal if you want to make them lunch.

 

[mhsjax]

I look at is as that "grown man" goes to work everyday and works his tail off so I can stay home. I also iron his non-dry cleaned shirts and do all of his laundry I know he can do these things, but again, it is the least I can do for somebody that gives so much to me. Just my personal opinion.

It is interesting to see everyone's opinions on this thread.

You and I must be cut from the same cloth. I fell the same way.

 

[bethbuchall]

i don't like the bread's taste or texture if the sandwich is made the night before.

I'm glad that it's not just us. I thought we were too picky.

It all comes down to whatever works best for you and your family. It works best here for me to make all the lunches in the morning. My husband is also a grown man who is fully capable of making his own lunch. On days that I am not around or decided to sleep a little later, he makes his own lunch. There is nothing wrong with him simply because I choose to make his lunch for him most mornings. I can't tell you the last time that I did the first clearing of the driveway in the morning or took out the garbage on garbage morning. He does that so that I don't have to. It's just the way the we like those chores split.

 

[mtemm]

I have a good friend who taught her kids how to make their own lunches by the time they were in kindy or 1st grade. they were also helping to cook dinner. the kids LOVED doing it, and I always admired how fun she made it, but also how independent she was teaching them to be.

my kids are in 3rd and 1st and I am still doing their lunches, although I am having them help out more and my goal is for my eldest to be doing his by next year.

 

[Mermaid02]

I don't think there is any right or wrong answer here. If Mom or Dad doesn't mind making the kids lunch- keep doing it.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

At the age that they start complaining about what I pack THAT'S the age to make their own lunch.

FWIW, my dad and I would sit down with the lunch calendar (for elementary) and figure out what days I wanted to eat at school and if there were any days he'd want to come eat lunch with me at school - we used to have a program where parents/grands could come eat lunch with us - we got to sit at the BIG tables! Anyway... dad would pack it because mom had to be at work at 7 a.m. No way I would ever complain what was in my lunch pail!

Okay, I complained once. But I had a valid reason to. My parents were out of town and my grandparents (who lived across the street) watched over us. My grandfather, who was in his late 70s at the time, fixed my lunch one of the mornings. He gave me a banana (OK), some crackers (OK), and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (NOT OK)... Love the man to death but he put BUTTER on my PB & J sandwich . He had never made one before! When I got to school and took a bite, I told my teacher that I wasn't eating it. We had a rule that the teachers enforced that we had to eat what was given to us. I argued and said no way. Then I told her what was on my sandwich. I got a free pass that day.

I stopped carrying a lunch to school in 5th grade.

 

[Magpie]

I'm glad that it's not just us. I thought we were too picky.

It all comes down to whatever works best for you and your family. It works best here for me to make all the lunches in the morning. My husband is also a grown man who is fully capable of making his own lunch. On days that I am not around or decided to sleep a little later, he makes his own lunch. There is nothing wrong with him simply because I choose to make his lunch for him most mornings. I can't tell you the last time that I did the first clearing of the driveway in the morning or took out the garbage on garbage morning. He does that so that I don't have to. It's just the way the we like those chores split.

I clean, tidy, dust and cook, but I don't vacuum. Why? Because the sound of the vacuum makes the hair on my arms stand up and it smells horrible (to me, anyway). So my husband does all the vacuuming.

It's not about gender roles. It's not about him not being a "grown man" either. It's about works for us.

The kids, BTW, have known how to make meals for themselves since before junior kindergarten. I enjoyed cooking with them when they were small, and it's how I taught them measurement and fractions and got them to practice reading. My son even took some adult cooking lessons for fun when he was 9 - so the chances are good he knows a little bit more about cooking than many grownups. (He had to get special permission to attend.)

They're pretty independent. Even if I do make their lunches on weekday mornings.

 

[bethbuchall]

I clean, tidy, dust and cook, but I don't vacuum. Why? Because the sound of the vacuum makes the hair on my arms stand up and it smells horrible (to me, anyway). So my husband does all the vacuuming.

It's not about gender roles. It's not about him not being a "grown man" either. It's about works for us.

The kids, BTW, have known how to make meals for themselves since before junior kindergarten. I enjoyed cooking with them when they were small, and it's how I taught them measurement and fractions and got them to practice reading. My son even took some adult cooking lessons for fun when he was 9 - so the chances are good he knows a little bit more about cooking than many grownups. (He had to get special permission to attend.)

They're pretty independent. Even if I do make their lunches on weekday mornings.

I know that the examples I used made it sound like chores were split along gender lines but not all are. I cook dinner every night, but he does the dishes every night. That started when the kids were babies. I told him that he had dishes or baths, and he usually chose dishes. Now that my "babies" bathe themselves, I definitely have the better end of the bargain. He also makes waffle or pancake breakfasts on Saturday and Sunday, because he is an earlier riser than I am.

My kids used to cook with me a lot when they were small, though it seems we don't have the time as much anymore. They can still prepare their own meals. It must be fun to let your son do some cooking for you!

 

[GinnyEmma]

I make my husband's lunch every day. He makes breakfast on the weekends, and we cook together whenever possible. My kids make their own lunch, and mine a lot of the time too. It doesn't involve skill sets. Nor gender roles. It is what works for us. As long as everyone grows up knowing how to function as adults, all is well.

Worrying about what others do is silly.

 

[DebD4T]

I make my DD's lunch for them every day for no reason other than I do not have to get ready as early as they do. I also make DH's lunch for him. (same reason) I made DS's lunch until he graduated from high school.

When my DSIL would drive DS to school (she taught at the same school he attended) I would make her lunch also!!

I assure you that each and every member of my family is more than capable of feeding themselves. There are many nights that they each fix themselves dinner because we are all busy running in different directions.

Honestly, it is not something I ever gave a passing thought to.

But, to each his/her own. Whatever works for you!!

 

[luvmy3]

During the week I make my kid's lunches because its quicker and easier for me to do than them. On the weekends, it really depends on what we do for lunch, sometimes I make something like soup, or pasta salad and its for everyone. If the kids just want canned soup, ramen noodles, raviolis, sandwhiches they are on their own.

 

[Acklander]

By 2nd grade my kids were responsible for their own breakfast and lunches. Older DS chose to buy lunch at school, younger DS (the fussy eater) packs a lunch. DH packs his own lunch or buys one at work. I usually just bring a piece of fruit or something like that as I eat on the run.
By Junior High, the kids are pretty much responsible for for everything personal in the household - does their own laundry, cleans their own room/bathroom has a clothing allowance to budget with, and in the rotation of completely preparing a family dinner 1-2 times a week, taking at turn at hoovering, dusting etc. just like the other adults in the house.
We foster independence a bit early in our house, but that been a necessity since DH and I have always worked FT (I took 5 weeks off with first son, and 3 weeks off with second). If one of us had been a stay at home parent we probably would have done it differently.

 

[bgirldeb]

At the age that they start complaining about what I pack THAT'S the age to make their own lunch.

I make my dd's lunch, she is in 9th grade. It's not because anyone expects me to, it's because I want too. They leave so early for school, it's just easier for me to do it, while she eats or showers. On weekends, and during breaks, my kids, both in high school, feed themselves. They are more than capable of taking care of themselves, but I really don't get why anyone else would be offended if I make my dd's lunch?

I agree, I stay at home, and DH leaves at 6:30, the boys (9 and 10) get on the bus at 7:20, I don't have a problem with making their lunches to help get them out the door in the morning. I don't view it as a chore, just something to help them out. On the weekends and days off a lot of the time they make their own lunches, etc. and help me cook. It's more of a timing thing and courtesy during the week.

 

[phred52]

It is so interesting to read everyone's answers.

Last Sunday afternoon, I packed my lunches for Monday AND Tuesday.

In our home, everyone packs their own. The kids were interested and involved in the kitchen at a young age; making your own lunch just evolved naturally when they wanted to do it themselves.

 

[Dommiekazommie]

Ok. I'm a 24yo independent working women and my mum still makes my lunch!

Before you flame me, I moved back in with my parents last year so I can save to buy a house (the housing market here in aust really sucks). My parents live an hour plus commute from work, so I leave for work at 6am and get home around 730. My mum works locally, gets home around 5.30, and then makes her lunch for the next day. It's no harder for her to grab another Tupperware out and cut extra lettuce and cucumber for a salad for me too. I am incredibly gratefull that she does that, and she doesn't do it everyday. But yeh, most days my mum
Makes me lunch. It probably helps that we eat basically the same (but today she did call me to ask me what type of dressing I wanted).

Of course I can Make my own lunch, and have in the past. But it saves us both time (mum saves time coz I'm not being as noisy in the kitchen at 5am while she's trying to sleep). I'm
Sorry if this offends anyone. I will, if Shes home late or not feeling well or just not making lunch, make my own, and hers too. It's just that she normally gets to it before me.

She also makes my dad a sandwhich most days, but he cooks dinner. So I think it's kind of even.

And when I live with dbf (until we moved back to save the huge amount of rent we paid) we'd take it in turns making lunches, depending on what we wanted. I don't really think Lunches are that big of a deal. If it's saving time and money, go ahead and make a sandwhich for whoever you want I say!

 

[Minnesota!]

DS - age 6, DH, and I take turns making DS's lunch on the days he takes cold. When we get the menu at the beginning of each month, I let him go through and choose 2 - 3 days a week he wants hot. The other days we mark with a C. So, whoever has the time in the morning makes the lunch on the "C" day. DH and I alternate dishes day...so if it's my morning to do dishes, either he or DS will make the lunch, and so on.

DS gets his own breakfast on the weekends. But on the weekdays, I am already in the kitchen (either doing dishes, making my lunch, etc) and its just easier to grab his breakfast then. And, since lately his breakfast of choice has been some dry roasted almonds and a cheese stick - even easier.

I used to make DH's lunch, too. But then I went to visit him at work and happened to notice that he never ate anything - it was all still in the fridge. He had been going out to lunch each day and all that. I was PI$$ED!!!! So, I stopped making his lunch. He can make it...only putting himself out if he decides to not eat what he packed.