When should you STOP making lunches for your kids?

[Conservative Hippie]

I look at is as that "grown man" goes to work everyday and works his tail off so I can stay home. I also iron his non-dry cleaned shirts and do all of his laundry I know he can do these things, but again, it is the least I can do for somebody that gives so much to me. Just my personal opinion.

It is interesting to see everyone's opinions on this thread.

We live close enough that my husband comes home for lunch most days. He has eaten a peanut butter (or almond butter) sandwich with chips and fruit for lunch nearly every single day his entire life, it's what he likes. I have the sandwich ready when he gets home for his lunch break, and he fixes his plate. I have packed his lunch in the morning when he asks for it. If I'm sick or having a hard time with the kids he can definitely make his own lunch, but I am grateful to be a SAHM and that is one of the things I do to help him out. I know too many families with working mothers who wish they could stay home (and many of the men make a lot more than my husband). My kids are not school-aged yet, but when they are I will make their lunches still - they'll be homeschooled!

 

[wvjules]

I pack DD's lunch every evening. I don't get up with her in the mornings, I don't fix breakfasts during the week and I'm not there after school. So I see packing her lunch as something I should do since I can't/don't do the other things. Once in a while I'll put a note in there for her. I found some cute little sayings online that I write. I will put a Valentine card in there for her on Monday too.

Oh, she's 15. When I go to the store I also make sure to ask what she wants for her lunch that week. I like doing it for her. I only have so much time left before she's out on her own and I can't pack her lunch.

 

[nmmom95]

My boys are 7 and (almost) 13 and I pack lunches for them every day that they do not buy lunch at school. They are in a K-8 school and they also have a snack, which I pack every day. I don't do it because they are incapable, but because I want to. Like PP said, they will be grown up soon enough.

 

[DisneyScraps]

My DD will go to boarding school in 11th grade. I guess I will stop then. She is in 4th grade now and I make her lunch every day. It's kind of morphed into a big deal. She loves it and I love doing it for her.

Lisa

 

[DisneyMomx7]

I'm a SAHM and I don't have any problem in making everyone's lunch.

My kids split it about 50/50 whether they buy or pack lunch. Not only do I pack the three youngest ones lunches I always pack a lunch for DS who is finishing his last year of law school! Of course he can make his own lunch - but if I'm already packing two or three other lunches it's no big deal to me to pack one more.

He was away for four years in college so it's not like I don't think he's capable of making lunches (and of course he's been very independent). It's not a big deal and I know he won't be living home soon so for me I kind of like doing that last thing for him.

I always packed lunches (if they weren't buying them) all through high school.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I pack everyone's lunch in the morning. Many reasons for this. First, it was how I was raised. I was raised by my grandparents. They were very traditional. Grandma has never worked outside the home, she cooked hot breakfast, packed lunches and cooked homemade dinners every day. She packed my lunch till my last day of high school and packed my grandpa's lunch every day till he retired. It was something she too kpleasuer in and we enjoyed being on the receiving end of.

It was somethng I liked and continued with my family. I make them all (DH and the kids) breakfast in the morning, pack their lunches and make dinner. Maybe it is cause I am at home full time, but it has never felt like a bother to me, I like doing it. It is one way I take care of them. Also, our kitchen is too tiny for one person, no way I could deal with more people in there. I like to do it to keep my own sanity (the cats under feet are enough.) Plus it is just easy. I have a system, it goes fast. I make 3 PB&Js (DH's meal is seperate, he is on South Beach,) I use one papertowel and one knife. If they were all doing it that would be 3 knives to wash each day. It just works for us most days, on days I need help (an early appointment or somethng) they come and help (usually DD11 cause she gets up naturally before she needs to wheras her sisters always want just 5 more minutes...)

Weekends are more of a break. The kids will often eat at different times (based on their lunchtimes at school when they are used to eating.) So they go and make a sandwich or whatever with no thought of not being able to.

I will say I just got over being sick for 3 weeks. I will admit after a while DH was having the kids buy lunches, but in the beginning they were doing it fine on their own. It was more of an issue of not having time to take care of me, work, and get all the grocery shopping, kids places, etc. It became too much for him (he works long hours.) Had their been more food in the house it wouldn't have been an issue. It was nice though when I started packing their lunches again to have them say thanks, they missed it.

 

[rotlex]

Wow, rough crowd here!

Our kids are younger, oldest is in 3rd grade, and frankly, my wife or I will make them lunch until, well, as long as they want! I mean, I actually dread the day when they leave home, and I won't have that opportunity anymore. My wife, a stay at home Mom, feels the same way in this regard.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I look at is as that "grown man" goes to work everyday and works his tail off so I can stay home. I also iron his non-dry cleaned shirts and do all of his laundry I know he can do these things, but again, it is the least I can do for somebody that gives so much to me. Just my personal opinion.

It is interesting to see everyone's opinions on this thread.

I really wish we could LIKE comments like on Facebook. I really like this, and it is exactly how I feel (and how I am.)

 

[MamaLema]

My kids are 7, 12, and 14 and I make their lunches every day. I do it because I like to. They do it themselves on the weekends.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

At the preference of the grownup who chooses to do or not do the task.

I make my kids lunches. But they often fetch their own breakfasts.

It just depends upon the mood of the day. Doing things for my family doesn't mean they are "coddled". They clean bunny cages, litter, do their own laundry on occasion, scrub their bathroom, and sometimes cook on the gas stove.

Making a meal is about love sometimes and love knows no maximum age.

 

[Donaldswife]

I don't think there is a right/wrong answer to this question. I depends on your situation, your child's needs, etc.

Personally, I'm not sure if its necessary to teach your child to be "independent" by having them make their own lunch at age 6 or even older. You might be teaching them another unintended lesson. Like, my Mom has a lot of priorities higher than me.

I made my daughters lunch when she wanted one until she went to college. She is 26 now and completely independent.

So if I don't make my child's lunch then she is not a priority??? THAT is SSSTTTRRREETTCCHHHHHH. I don't care if you make your kids lunch everyday, or teach them to make their own, or tell them to eat the school lunch and give them money, none of those shows that your child is is not your priority as you are making sure they are well fed and that is ALL that counts in this situation.

BTW, I do all three depending on what my DD9 asks for and what time/budget allow. There is no one definitive way to do this and whatever works for your family is the best way it should be done, period.

 

[Chelley00]

At the age that they start complaining about what I pack THAT'S the age to make their own lunch.

Thats what happens here. It's usually around middle school. I used to even pack my husband lunch, but he started looking in his box, taking stuff out and putting different stuff in, so now he's on his own too :lol:

Every once in awhile I will inspect a high schoolers lunch just to make sure they aren't packing nothing but junk.

 

[NHdisneylover]

My DD will go to boarding school in 11th grade. I guess I will stop then. She is in 4th grade now and I make her lunch every day. It's kind of morphed into a big deal. She loves it and I love doing it for her.

Lisa

This is totally OT, but I am very curious why you have already decided (at the 4th grade level) that in 7 years your child will go to boarding school? And why 11th grade (seems most are for all of highschool--not just those last two years)? I am wondering what sort of program is so good/different/etc that you would KNOW now where you will send your child in 11 years (I am sure you have a good reason and a good place in mind--I am just hoping you will share what it is).

I get up and make my kids breakfast on school days. I don't work and I won't sleep while they are up and about trying to get ready for school. On weekends all bets are off, you want breakfast, you know where it is.

Lunches, I make also for a number of reasons. My kids are 14, 12, and 10. There rarely take lunch. My kitchen is way too small for everyone to be in it at the same time. The get up pretty early, so I let them sleep until the last minute and making lunch the night before is a big no no. JMHO, but I can't stand and won't eat a sandwich that has been sitting in the fridge over night, (where is that puke siggie). They are capable, they do it on the weekends, and my DD about to turn 12, actually started making chocolate cake from scratch, without any help from me, over a year ago. They do make their lunch on the weekends usually.

So I guess whatever works for your family is fine. As long as you make sure your kids can make a lunch, then no big deal if you want to make them lunch.

My kids are similar. They make all kind of things from scratch that many adults these days don't know how to make. Throwing together lunch (which isn't cooking at all) at 6:30 in the morning is something they can do, but if it's all te same to me they are grateful to have that extra five minutes to get ready or linger over breakfast (and like many, I really don't want two more people underfoot in my little European kitchen).

I look at is as that "grown man" goes to work everyday and works his tail off so I can stay home. I also iron his non-dry cleaned shirts and do all of his laundry I know he can do these things, but again, it is the least I can do for somebody that gives so much to me. Just my personal opinion.

It is interesting to see everyone's opinions on this thread.

It is MY personal opinion too (and you stated it very well)