When should you STOP making lunches for your kids?

[DVC-Don]

We never made lunches for our kids to take to school. However my daughters last two years in high school, she made her own lunches. She's in college now and eating in the dining halls.

 

[VAfamily1998]

I don't think it's an issue of "need" - it's more a matter of convenience. I don't really need to have four people underfoot while I'm trying to make breakfasts in the morning. Our kitchen is big, but it's not THAT big. It's bad enough my husband and mother-in-law have to come in to make coffee while I'm trying to get things done. I really don't want my kids in there, too.

It's like that at my house too. My kids are capable of making their own sandwich and grabbing a piece of fruit or some carrots for their lunch...but with multiple kids, it's easier for just one person to do it "assembly line style" rather than have a bunch of kids in and out of the same 40 sqf., opening cabinets and drawers, etc.

Right now my kids are 10, 9, 6 and 4...but only the oldest 3 bring lunches to school because the youngest is in half day pre-school.

When I was in school, I think I started packing my own lunch when I started middle school. Mostly because that was when I started leaving the house earlier than my younger brothers. By the time I was in high school, most mornings my mom wasn't even awake yet when I left for school so she definitely didn't make my lunch then!

 

[IDoDis]

I make lunches for both kids (6th and 9th grade). Earlier in the school year, I told them to make their own lunches, but neither of them ever bothered. They went the whole day w/out eating, or maybe foraged unwanted food from friends. They are only allowed to buy a lunch one day a week because it costs about $4.00 per kid -- and not the cafeteria food (no way would they eat that stuff). They'd opt for the snack bar food like a slice of pizza and a container of chocolate milk (the schools no longer sell soda).

I noticed that the cereal was being used up much faster than usual because DS was eating cereal when he got home from school. The cereal is way more expensive then the sack lunches, so I started making their lunches again. DD takes a zero hour class and has to be there at 6:30am, and never budgeted enough time for lunch making. I'd rather just do it and have her eat semi-healthy vs starving all day. I know that it was her choice (to not make a lunch and go hungry) and actually she was fine with not eating all day, but I wasn't.

When they are home in the summer and on the weekends, they make their own lunches. DD is taking culinary arts this year and even cooks the family dinner once a week (It's part of her class homework). She's a better cook than I am!

 

[tasha99]

DS either makes his own or eats a school lunch (usually the latter unless he doesn't like what they're having). Occasionally I'll make his lunch if he's really busy and I know that's what he had planned.

Today, he made me breakfast. I was running late, so he made me a toasted peanut butter and pickle sandwich to eat in the car.

 

[punkin]

I like to make my children's lunch. If I have the time in the morning so they can sleep a few extra minutes (schools start ungodly early) why shouldn't I?

 

[bdcp]

I am a SAHM. I make lunches for DH and the kids. It is the least I can do



I don't consider feeding my children catering to wants and desires.

You know that's not what I meant, geez people. They certainly didn't starve. Not that it's really anyone's business, but I cooked dinner EVERY night when they were growing up. We rarely ate out, so does that make me a better mother? I was referring to parents who do EVERYTHING for their children, give into all their whims, etc. Not a good way to raise responsible people. As I said, it can be like any other responsibility your child can have. The least I could do when I was a SAHM, was be there for my children. Fixing their lunch wasn't going to make them upstanding, responsible adults which was really my job. And we did it quite well if I do say so myself. Two adults who have good jobs, pay their way, spend time with us and their friends and are compassionate, loving people. Wow, I guess I was a terrible mom.

 

[shortbun]

My mom made me lunch when she was 78 and dying. Why does there need to be a rule? Why would you 'need' to do it for your child....why not? My son makes me food all the time when I'm busy. He can make several dinners too. He's 15. My husband makes his lunch for school. It's an act of love, not an independence thing. Good grief!

 

[AustinTink]

Also, I'm a SAHM and writer. My hours are my own. So I'm the one with the most flexibility in the morning - not my husband or my kids.

SAHM here. I make my husband's lunches everyday along. Why wouldn't I? He goes and and works to support his family. It's the least I can do to show my appreciation.

As for my DS, I will continue to make his lunches until he leaves for college. He doesn't like the food the school brings in and I'm happy to make it for him.

My mom made my school lunches for me until I could drive. After that, I would drive home at lunch and she would have food waiting for me and my friends. My mom is awesome!

 

[lady_bug_888]

I started helping DS make his lunches at the end of Gr. 1 and he took over this year (Gr. 2). He knows what goes in his lunch: sandwich, fruit, veggie, yogurt, snack (water bottle at school). He makes his lunch every night before bed unless we are really busy. Occasionally I will make his lunch for him because he's tired or we've been busy.

My mom made us do our own lunches starting in Grade 2 and she NEVER helped us after that. I went to school without lunch a lot and she never noticed (no ill feelings about it...that's just how it was). That said, DS and one day DD will never go to school without a lunch. It's not really a big deal for me to pack them something quickly if they are running late.

I see them being able to pack their own lunch as one step closer to independence. I also sometimes pack lunches/dinners for DH. I freeze leftovers for him as well so he can have decent food if he's working over dinner break. It takes me just a little extra time and it's something I like to do for him. He is capable of making food for himself and he does if I don't pack him something and he certainly doesn't complain if I don't make him something.

I think every family is different and has to do what's best for them!

 

[luvsJack]

If dd took a lunch, I would make it for her; she prefers to eat at school. If either of my sons are around my house at lunch time, I make their lunch. And if either of them stayed here and needed a lunch for work, I would still make it. (I haven't fixed dh's lunch in a long time because a while back he complained about how I placed the bread on his sandwich. So now he can place his bread any way he wants to. )

Its not a matter of whether they can do it or not, I am their mother and its something I enjoy doing for them just because I love them. (not saying that anyone who doesn't fix their kids lunch loves their kids any less). And sometimes everyone just needs a bit of mothering.

 

[postage stamp]

I'm supposed to make sure they EAT when they are at school? I knew I was forgetting something.

 

[2disneyboys]

I think I see where the OP was going with the question and then the update. my MIL catered to her children (to the point that a grown 30 something year old has 'mom' make important phone calls for him... that was SOO annoying to ME!) its one thing to cater to your child to the point that you are actually hindering thier independence. it's another thing totally to do something for someone you love out of kindness... (and if I'm gonna make you lunch in the a.m. then I love you 'cuz that's a job I actually hate)

I make lunchs for myself, my 2 kids and my dh most mornings. some mornings, one of the kids makes all of us lunches, and sometimes DH does. the point is everyone in my family is capable of making the lunches and knows how to do it... once you make sure they are capable of doing something (you teach them how to do it) at that point it makes it more of a "treat" to do it for them (or let them do it for you ) vs another "chore" on the list. The whole teach a man to fish theory...ok so I've taught them how to fish.. does not mean I'll never fish for them again, I just made sure they have the training..

 

[disfan07]

I made my own lunch starting in 1st grade. We didnt have lunch in kindergarten because I was in half-day afternoon kindergarten so I ate before school.

In first grade, my mom or dad would take out what I wanted for lunch the night before (so like meat, cheese, bread, fruit, etc) but I would make my own sandwiches, put my own lunch box toegther etc. By 2nd grade, I was doing it all by myself.

WHy does it seem like everyone makes the lunches in the morning? Why not make them the night before? We would make our sandwiches, etc the night before along with anything that needed to be refrigerated and just toss in chips, cookies, or whatever else in teh morning. That would solve any of the too crazy in teh morning issues.

For us it was just part of the bedtime routine in elementary school.
Shower
Brush teeth
Make tomorrows lunch

Maybe this is also a difference between SAHM and working moms as well. My mom worked fulltime at our school when we were younger so she had to be at work by 7:30AM (we started school at 8:15 in elementary school) and my dad worked fulltime as well so my brother and I would help with whatever we were capable of doing and that included making lunch.

 

[Becky2005]

Mine is pretty much middle school (6th grade here - I might still pack it some of the time in 6th but definitely by 7th they are on their own)...they mostly do hot but if they don't want to get a hot lunch, it's up to them to pack one for themselves.

 

[fairestoneofall]

I made my own lunch starting in 1st grade. We didnt have lunch in kindergarten because I was in half-day afternoon kindergarten so I ate before school.

In first grade, my mom or dad would take out what I wanted for lunch the night before (so like meat, cheese, bread, fruit, etc) but I would make my own sandwiches, put my own lunch box toegther etc. By 2nd grade, I was doing it all by myself.

WHy does it seem like everyone makes the lunches in the morning? Why not make them the night before? We would make our sandwiches, etc the night before along with anything that needed to be refrigerated and just toss in chips, cookies, or whatever else in teh morning. That would solve any of the too crazy in teh morning issues.

For us it was just part of the bedtime routine in elementary school.
Shower
Brush teeth
Make tomorrows lunch

Maybe this is also a difference between SAHM and working moms as well. My mom worked fulltime at our school when we were younger so she had to be at work by 7:30AM (we started school at 8:15 in elementary school) and my dad worked fulltime as well so my brother and I would help with whatever we were capable of doing and that included making lunch.

i don't like the bread's taste or texture if the sandwich is made the night before. my mom worked FT and still made my lunch every morning. i always made DD's lunch in the mornings too (now, she's homeschooled).

 

[Cinderella94]

I'm a senior in HS and my brother is in 7th grade...my mom makes our lunches still. I don't think we're scarred for life, doomed to be the moochers of society.

 

[Planogirl]

I stopped making lunches for DS when he was about 15. I just got tired of doing it while so busy in the morning and he is more than capable. I do still make him dinner and lunch on the weekends though. I like to do it.

However, I think that people should stop (or not stop) when they feel like it. I don't see this as a big deal either way.

 

[Magpie]

I make lunches for both kids (6th and 9th grade). Earlier in the school year, I told them to make their own lunches, but neither of them ever bothered. They went the whole day w/out eating, or maybe foraged unwanted food from friends. They are only allowed to buy a lunch one day a week because it costs about $4.00 per kid -- and not the cafeteria food (no way would they eat that stuff). They'd opt for the snack bar food like a slice of pizza and a container of chocolate milk (the schools no longer sell soda).

I noticed that the cereal was being used up much faster than usual because DS was eating cereal when he got home from school. The cereal is way more expensive then the sack lunches, so I started making their lunches again. DD takes a zero hour class and has to be there at 6:30am, and never budgeted enough time for lunch making. I'd rather just do it and have her eat semi-healthy vs starving all day. I know that it was her choice (to not make a lunch and go hungry) and actually she was fine with not eating all day, but I wasn't.

When they are home in the summer and on the weekends, they make their own lunches. DD is taking culinary arts this year and even cooks the family dinner once a week (It's part of her class homework). She's a better cook than I am!

This is EXACTLY what I did when my mom stopped making my lunches in Grade 5! I stopped eating during the day.

I still remember riding the bus home feeling like I was going to faint from hunger, and then gorging on whatever I could find as soon as I got in.

I suppose I could have made a lunch, but it always seemed like too much trouble in the morning. I'd rather starve.

I think I see where the OP was going with the question and then the update. my MIL catered to her children (to the point that a grown 30 something year old has 'mom' make important phone calls for him... that was SOO annoying to ME!) its one thing to cater to your child to the point that you are actually hindering thier independence. it's another thing totally to do something for someone you love out of kindness... (and if I'm gonna make you lunch in the a.m. then I love you 'cuz that's a job I actually hate)

I make lunchs for myself, my 2 kids and my dh most mornings. some mornings, one of the kids makes all of us lunches, and sometimes DH does. the point is everyone in my family is capable of making the lunches and knows how to do it... once you make sure they are capable of doing something (you teach them how to do it) at that point it makes it more of a "treat" to do it for them (or let them do it for you ) vs another "chore" on the list. The whole teach a man to fish theory...ok so I've taught them how to fish.. does not mean I'll never fish for them again, I just made sure they have the training..

My kids are pretty independent. They know how to feed themselves and they managed fine a month ago when I was too sick with the flu to get out of bed. I don't think "making lunch" is the make-or-break moment of independence.

But I do actually enjoy feeding them. It makes me happy, and it makes them happy. So I was definitely curious to discover if I was in some kind of retro-fifties minority.

WHy does it seem like everyone makes the lunches in the morning? Why not make them the night before? We would make our sandwiches, etc the night before along with anything that needed to be refrigerated and just toss in chips, cookies, or whatever else in teh morning. That would solve any of the too crazy in teh morning issues.

I think sandwiches taste kind of gross when they've been sitting in the fridge all night, and as often as not I don't make sandwiches anyway. I make a lot of salads. And there's nothing nastier than lettuce that's been wilting overnight.

I also don't pack chips or cookies or much of anything that's prepackaged (except yogurt). I chop up veggies and put them in with hummus. Slice some cheese. Throw some dried peas into a container. I like to vary it a bit, from day to day. Sometimes I'll make up a chilled salad the day before and scoop that into a container in the morning with some sliced tomatoes and onions on top.

Basically, everything tastes fresher if it's made in the morning. It's nice enough to eat by lunch, since I put it in with a freezer pack. But if for some reason it doesn't get eaten, then I usually toss it in the compost at the end of the day, because no one wants it anymore.

 

[justhat]

My 1st grader's teacher sent home a letter stating that many kids are throwing out a good portion of their lunch (uneaten), and suggested that they all start packing their own lunches as that will likely eliminate waste. So my daughter often makes her own lunch, but some days I do it if she sleeps a little later than normal.

On days that my daughter packs her own lunch, then my son *has* to pack his own lunch too. Even when she doesn't, sometimes he asks to make his own sandwich or whatever.

As far as breakfast, on weekdays both of my older kids make their own breakfasts and they are 4yo and 6yo. They've been doing it at least since we moved into this house in August, but for some foods, even before then. Just that they both like oatmeal, and now our microwave is a drawer type that is under the island counter, so they can cook it themselves, whereas in our old house the microwave was over the stove.

 

[disneycruising]

I don't think there is an exact age for kids to make their own lunch.

I am a SAHM & have 4 kids 17, 15, 13, & 11. I enjoy making lunch for them. I even add a hersey 'kiss'. When they were much younger, I did little notes or pictures on napkins.

On Wednesdays, they have to pack their own lunch. On this day I let them pack any thing they want. I purchased all the food... so I know they can't pack to much junk.


As far as my DH's lunch. He is a grow man and if he want to 'take' a lunch to work... he can pack it.

** I don't think that by making my kids lunches... I am raising "lazy" children. Our children have chores they have to do everyday. I am a big believe in everyone in a family has to help out!