What to do in Disney when your husband hates Disney....

[Hikergirl]

I have to wonder though if the posts would be this forgiving if it were mom who didn’t want to go. I feel they wouldn’t be. Like a pp said, as a mom, we often sacrifice & do things we don’t want to do for our kids. To me, it seems like dads get a pass b/c they “don’t like to do these things”. It’s even often the themes in sit-coms & entertainment. I don’t love to do some of that stuff either, but oh well, it’s no longer about me once I have a child. After reading so many posts, I’m definitely extra thankful for my own dad & my DH.

Maybe, I know there are plenty of things I don't like to do and I do suck it up more than dh but I'm a SAHM so that is kind of my job.
However I think when kids get older it becomes less about what parent always sucks things up, to making decisions as a family so nobody has to suck things up. That is what we have been doing and it seems to be working out

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

That's a dangerous game to play with your spouse and can backfire in ways you didn't imagine, IMO.

I didn’t want to touch that one(no pun intended) but I’m glad you did!

 

[mjkacmom]

I think it’s different if you’re talking about a grown child. I didn’t think OPs kids were that old.

Well, my dd started going on the camping trips at 11 (flew by herself). The OP’s kids are 12 and 15.

 

[neverlandsky]

Our family rule: All yeses or we don't go.

 

[LSUmiss]

So the way to validate the precious value of children is to accede to their wishes and wants whenever possible? Isn't there value in parents deciding that the kids might enjoy the experience of visiting the Grand Canyon, the Outer Banks, the mighty redwoods, the beaches and wilderness of Acadia National Park, the Rocky Mountains, the German countryside, the museums of Paris, etc., etc.? Media exposure is enough for kids to have an idea they might want to go to Disney. Parental experience might be what it takes to understand their kids might like plenty of other destinations if only they were exposed to those as well.

As a bonus, maybe not a single family member might be forced to "suck up" the destination for the sake of the children alone.

I don’t know the age of the children so that matters. I’m not saying that parents should do whatever they’re kids want. But, I do think as parents, it’s our job to sacrifice for them. It seems like a family vacation to WDW is something the rest of the family has come to enjoy. Maybe they’ll like going other places. But that’s not what was presented. To me it seems like OP had plans to go to another WDW vacation that was previously agreed to by dad & then he decided to tell OP that he hates it & isn’t going, but told them to go alone & that disappointed the kids. That’s the part I have a problem with. Maybe that’s not how it went down. And, it also seems like dad isn’t happy unless he can play with cars & hunt so it’s not about another destination. It’s that he wants to do his own thing by himself & not participate in family. Sorry, to me that’s selfish.

 

[cabanafrau]

I was wondering the same thing. If Disney is the only place you vacation, I could understand someone getting sick of it.

Even when Disney was in what we considered its golden age I would not have wanted to spend every vacation there. Back when they were young I'm sure our daughters would have picked Disney every time if they ruled the world. If you asked them now that they're grown they wouldn't trade the other vacations we went on. We had lots of amazing experiences and lots of great family memories from plenty of non Disney vacations.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Until they’re adults or maybe older teenagers if they still want to go. I can’t imagine as a child my dad choosing not to be on vacation with us b/c he doesn’t like where we are going especially after expressing that it was disappointing that he wouldn’t be there. And, as a parent, I can’t imagine missing out on a family vacation b/c I don’t like the destination. I look at it like it’s about watching my DS enjoy things. That’s part of the enjoyment of the destination for me. If it was that big of a deal to DH, then I would ask what’s the issues that he hates the most & try to mitigate those things. But, if it’s b/c he would rather just play with cars & hunt instead of participate in what his family is doing, then I would have a problem with that.

There are men who do not want to do it. I had a husband who did not like disney or any theme park. So we were not allowed to spend money. I was not allowed to take money and go. But my issues were horrible and a man who did not care about us.

 

[LSUmiss]

Our lives do not rotate around our kids. Some times we disappoint them, upset them, they survive and thrive. If the kids want to vacation with their dad, maybe they should ask dad what he’d like to do. We’ve suffered through activities for the sake of the kids (great wolf lodge, chucky cheese, camping), but have also said no. Dd21 has gone rough camping with my SIL, the rest of the family wants to go, I said be my guest, I’ll enjoy an empty house for a week, enjoy the lack of indoor plumbing and electricity without me.

I have a young child so it’s different than a 21 yr old. But our lives absolutely revolve around DS’s needs & schedule.

 

[cabanafrau]

I don’t know the age of the children so that matters. I’m not saying that parents should do whatever they’re kids want. But, I do think as parents, it’s our job to sacrifice for them. It seems like a family vacation to WDW is something the rest of the family has come to enjoy. Maybe they’ll like going other places. But that’s not what was presented. To me it seems like OP had plans to go to another WDW vacation that was previously agreed to by dad & then he decided to tell OP that he hates it & isn’t going, but told them to go alone & that disappointed the kids. That’s the part I have a problem with. Maybe that’s not how it went down. And, it also seems like dad isn’t happy unless he can play with cars & hunt so it’s not about another destination. It’s that he wants to do his own thing by himself & not participate in family. Sorry, to me that’s selfish.

It sounds to me like you're making a lot of assumptions about the situation. I tried to go by the information from OP. I also realize that we're only getting one side of the story, one that may be biased by someone who prefers to go to Disney -- a not uncommon phenomenon if you read here long enough.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Our family rule: All yeses or we don't go.

I would never give my kids that much power. Gosh my kids can't even agree on dinner. I can't even imagine. I don't think there's anything in my house that all 4 people will say yes or no to. Very rarely.

 

[Hikergirl]

I don’t know the age of the children so that matters. I’m not saying that parents should do whatever they’re kids want. But, I do think as parents, it’s our job to sacrifice for them. It seems like a family vacation to WDW is something the rest of the family has come to enjoy. Maybe they’ll like going other places. But that’s not what was presented. To me it seems like OP had plans to go to another WDW vacation that was previously agreed to by dad & then he decided to tell OP that he hates it & isn’t going, but told them to go alone & that disappointed the kids. That’s the part I have a problem with. Maybe that’s not how it went down. And, it also seems like dad isn’t happy unless he can play with cars & hunt so it’s not about another destination. It’s that he wants to do his own thing by himself & not participate in family. Sorry, to me that’s selfish.

The OP said he likes cars and hunts and those are his hobbies, and I assume she mentioned those because she was looking for suggestions on things in or near WDW that may relate to those things so the dh could find something he enjoys doing while there.
You assumed that is all he wants to do at the expense of family and he's selfish. Or maybe you don't think he should do anything that makes him happy at all, he's a dad so no way he can have his own interests if they don't involve his kids?
It is really amazing how different people can interpret what was written here.

 

[mjkacmom]

I have a young child so it’s different than a 21 yr old. But our lives absolutely revolve around DS’s needs & schedule.

I’m not talking about my 21 year old, she doesn’t even live here, but my kids are 14, 14, 16, and 19 (they live here), and they don’t dictate what we do, never have. They’ve all kept us very busy with all of their activities (insanely), but know the world doesn’t revolve around them. Sometimes I might miss a game, because I don’t feel like going. And that’s okay. Early on, we had many weekends with 8 games, different kids, no way to see them all. Who wants to spend all of those hours at the soccer/baseball/flag football fields anyway?

 

[LSUmiss]

Well, my dd started going on the camping trips at 11 (flew by herself). The OP’s kids are 12 and 15.

I didn’t see that the OP gave ages? I definitely think 15 is old enough to get it. But, I also think ppl seem to identify with dad not liking WDW vacation so I wonder if responses would be different if it were another destination or event. Feel like ppl were all too happy to jump on the there are so many better places than wdw bandwagon. So, what if it were that the kids want dad to come to their game, but dad hates watching crappy soccer. Is that ok too if dad has been to enough games & they’re old enough to get that dad hates crappy soccer? I still think it’s selfish that dad knows they want him there & can’t get over himself. Soon those kids won’t probably want dad around as much as they get older. Maybe he’ll b happier then, but o feel like I’d cherish the time they’re still young & still want to go places with me.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I have a young child so it’s different than a 21 yr old. But our lives absolutely revolve around DS’s needs & schedule.

Yikes. Well it's probably a good thing you only have one child and no personal needs of your own.

 

[cabanafrau]

I have a young child so it’s different than a 21 yr old. But our lives absolutely revolve around DS’s needs & schedule.

Those of us who've raised kids understand what it is to sacrifice for them -- and how important it is they realize that not every want and every bit of their schedule commands the universe. I shudder to think of the 21 year old who was raised to constantly be the be all end all their entire life. The result would either surely be insufferable or completely unable to cope with the real world.

 

[LSUmiss]

DH takes my girls to a dance competition every July, usually somewhere nice and hot, like Orlando. He does it because I don’t want to. My parents never catered to the kids, we had zero say in vacations, some were torture (driving to Florida from NJ in a station wagon, both parents smoked, to visit the grandparents at a 55+ community for a week, every year (they were sunbirds, they lived 3 blocks away from us most of the year). Were you also an only child?

Nope. I have a sister. Maybe it’s generational. My parents had the kind of experiences you’re describing & didn’t want to do that to us. They didn’t view their parents’ choices as “not catering to them”, but as selfish. And for the most part they were. So they didn’t raise us that way & I try not to raise my DS that way. And I don’t think being an only child is relevant here. We aren’t talking about siblings who have different interests, but the grown adult father.

 

[mjkacmom]

I didn’t see that the OP gave ages? I definitely think 15 is old enough to get it. But, I also think ppl seem to identify with dad not liking WDW vacation so I wonder if responses would be different if it were another destination or event. Feel like ppl were all too happy to jump on the there are so many better places than wdw bandwagon. So, what if it were that the kids want dad to come to their game, but dad hates watching crappy soccer. Is that ok too if dad has been to enough games & they’re old enough to get that dad hates crappy soccer? I still think it’s selfish that dad knows they want him there & can’t get over himself. Soon those kids won’t probably want dad around as much as they get older. Maybe he’ll b happier then, but o feel like I’d cherish the time they’re still young & still want to go places with me.

In her signature, it says her kids are 20, 15, and 12.

 

[mjkacmom]

Yikes. Well it's probably a good thing you only have one child and no personal needs of your own.

Is it? Sometimes it’s better to spread the attention and focus out.

 

[LSUmiss]

Dads sacrifice just as much as moms. And sit-coms and other media like to portray dads as idiots, so I wouldn't use that as a basis for anything.

Sorry. Unfortunately, I have seen many men in my experience who fit those portrayals. They wouldn’t be funny to some ppl if they were just outlandish & not in any way realistic. And, in my experiences, it is the moms who bring the kids here & there & do everything & dad gets a pass b/c he “doesn’t like it” or it’s “not with fighting him” blah blah

 

[cabanafrau]

I'm not understanding the idea that the ONLY vacation destination that suits OP's kids is Disney and the prospect of anywhere else would be selfish on the part of Dad? Kids couldn't enjoy the seashore, NYC or camping -- anything else in the whole wide world?