What to do in Disney when your husband hates Disney....

[Gumbo4x4]

Definitely do the fishing thing. Is there at least one park he can tolerate? Maybe AK? Water parks?

 

[Wishing on a star]

Sam, NOT biting...

 

[Gumbo4x4]

As a mom and a human I do a lot of stuff I hate on a daily basis.

But, should that be the case on a very expensive vacation?

 

[Wishing on a star]

So now, dollar amounts, and how 'expensive' is being thrown in here?????

 

[Hikergirl]

The OP made reference to the kids not knowing that the dh doesn't like WDW so it sounds like he's been there already.
I think some are unfairly judging the dh because of one comment about not wanting to go to recitals. We have no idea how many he has gone to in the past, if they require travel, are overnight trips etc. In a perfect world each parent would attend every single event that each one of their kids participate in. This isn't a perfect world, parents get run down, they have other things they want or need to do, they have other kids to take care of, there are financial considerations, and on and on.
Not wanting to go on a specific vacation destination, or not wanting to sit through a 2 hour long recital to see your kid perform for 10 minutes doesn't mean the guy doesn't want to spend time with his family. The OP's kids are older there is no reason a parent has to continue to do things they hate for their sake, they can actually sit down as a family and plan something they all want to do together. There is more that just Disney out there.

 

[Hikergirl]

So now, dollar amounts, and how 'expensive' is being thrown in here?????

Why shouldn't it be? Maybe you have so much money that going on an expensive Disney vacation when you hate it is nothing, but for most of us, even here on this board, expense is a factor when deciding where to vacation and what is worth the cost.

 

[Mizzoufan]

But, should that be the case on a very expensive vacation?

Yes, I believe so. If I hate Disney so should my kids suffer and never be able to go or anywhere change Disney out for anywhere

 

[Wubar]

OMG!!!!! Mizzou, I just liked your post.. and I wish I could LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it.
I think that some men simply do not realize this, and think they should just never have to do anything that they do not really want to do.

If this in reference to only women suffering to all the woes of the world while all men are indifferent to everything except their own needs...that is ridiculous. But I am sure if the roles were reversed, you would have made the same comment about women, no?

 

[Hikergirl]

Yes, I believe so. If I hate Disney so should my kids suffer and never be able to go or anywhere change Disney out for anywhere

I must have missed where the OP said that they can never go anywhere now

 

[Mizzoufan]

I must have missed where the OP said that they can never go anywhere now

I was refering to gumbo post to me

 

[aprilgail]

I would let him stay home or he can go on a trip with his friends to a place he likes while you go with the kids to Disney- why not take one of your friends to Disney with you and the kids and have him to his own thing on his own trip with his friends? Your kids are old enough to understand that he should not have to go someplace he hates just because you all like it.

 

[Hikergirl]

I was refering to gumbo post to me

Well it was a general thought, if a spouse hates a specific vacation destination that they have already been and doesn't want to go back, how does that translate to not being able to go anywhere?

And FTR, I have no plans to fly to Europe any time soon. My youngest ds really wants to go. Guess what he can go when he is an adult and can pay for it himself.
So, if him not being able to go as a minor being supported by his parents is "suffering" then I'd say he's still got a pretty darn good life

 

[mjkacmom]

If this in reference to only women suffering to all the woes of the world while all men are indifferent to everything except their own needs...that is ridiculous. But I am sure if the roles were reversed, you would have made the same comment about women, no?

My DH definitely takes one for the team more than I do, he gets to go soccer games in the rain, dance competitions (including 4 day ones), drives the kids more...

If this is your only vacation, and you’ve been to WDW before, go somewhere new.

 

[sk!mom]

But, should that be the case on a very expensive vacation?

So now, dollar amounts, and how 'expensive' is being thrown in here?????

This is getting off track since the OP didn't mention cost as being any part of the decision but since it came up...

Absolutely the cost of a trip matters. I will go to a restaurant that friends enjoy but I maybe don't care for because they invited me and it's one night-one meal (actually I did exactly that on NYE.) However, when I agree to go on a costly vacation with someone, it has to be some place that I would enjoy going. Vacations are too costly and the time is too precious to spend it somewhere that I wouldn't enjoy. Last Summer, we were invited on a trip to San Francisco/Sonoma- it was people we enjoy and a place we wanted to visit so we went. Had they said, hey want to join us on a cruise? We would have declined.

Yes, I believe so. If I hate Disney so should my kids suffer and never be able to go or anywhere change Disney out for anywhere

First of all, Kids who don't get to go to Disney, aren't suffering. Second, when did kids become so "precious" that parents have to plan everything around them.

 

[morgan98]

The older I get the less patience I have for “dealing with” people.

If he doesn’t want to go, leave him home. I wouldn’t be over planning to make sure things didn’t go wrong, travel was smooth etc. Please. If you already have 3 kids to deal with you don’t need a 4th.

My attitude would be “we’re going. If you want to be with your family then
You’re welcome to come. If not, see you in a week”

Tell the kids “Dad just doesn’t like Disney”. That’s all the explanation they need.

This exactly! So you are going to try to plan all of these things to appease him. What happens when he does not like them AND the fact the you all forced him to go on a vacation he did not want to go on. It honestly does not sound like fun for anyone?

Leave him home.

 

[LSUmiss]

He's an adult who has told you, presumably in an adult fashion, that he doesn't want to go to Disney. He's not stopping you and the kids from going, he just doesn't want to. I assume he contributes to the household expenses, including vacations. He would rather put his time and money elsewhere. You need to respect that.

I do like the idea of planning on every other year being a vacation that he picks, for the family to do. A cabin by the lake, a trip to the beach, a resort in the Caribbean--you guys may find another passion, or he may find that he hates planning vacations, I don't know. Then every other year, you and the kids go to Disney, while he does his thing.

My DH loves hunting, but I would rather poke my own eye out than go. Ironically, I'm a really good shot, so DH is always trying to get me to go to the rifle range with him--I know he'd be in heaven if he could sit me in a deer blind to hunt with him. It's not happening. Ever. Period. I would be resentful if he tried to ignore my very clear expressions on this matter.

Sorry. I disagree. I don’t know how old the kids are, but they won’t be young forever. As a parent there is plenty I don’t love to do that I suck up & do for DS. I expect my DH to do the same & he does. If there is another vacation destination that everyone would enjoy then that’s fine. But OP has said that her DH told them to go without them, but that upsets the kids. I think that’s terrible especially if he knows that they’re upset. He’s the adult. Imo, he should suck it up for kids.

 

[cabanafrau]

Find a vacation destination that appeals to everyone for a family vacation. There's a whole wide world out there, surely it can be done. It sounds as if this family has already visited Disney at least once, broaden your horizons.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

My husband is not a Disney fan either. When we first bought DVC he was very skeptical about the whole idea, so I started a bit of 'operant conditioning'... When we are in WDW, he gets much more 'intimacy' than at home... amazing how he looks forward to those vacations now LOL

That's a dangerous game to play with your spouse and can backfire in ways you didn't imagine, IMO.

 

[cabanafrau]

Sorry. I disagree. I don’t know how old the kids are, but they won’t be young forever. As a parent there is plenty I don’t love to do that I suck up & do for DS. I expect my DH to do the same & he does. If there is another vacation destination that everyone would enjoy then that’s fine. But OP has said that her DH told them to go without them, but that upsets the kids. I think that’s terrible especially if he knows that they’re upset. He’s the adult. Imo, he should suck it up for kids.

How many times should he suck it up for the kids?

 

[LSUmiss]

This is getting off track since the OP didn't mention cost as being any part of the decision but since it came up...

Absolutely the cost of a trip matters. I will go to a restaurant that friends enjoy but I maybe don't care for because they invited me and it's one night-one meal (actually I did exactly that on NYE.) However, when I agree to go on a costly vacation with someone, it has to be some place that I would enjoy going. Vacations are too costly and the time is too precious to spend it somewhere that I wouldn't enjoy. Last Summer, we were invited on a trip to San Francisco/Sonoma- it was people we enjoy and a place we wanted to visit so we went. Had they said, hey want to join us on a cruise? We would have declined.



First of all, Kids who don't get to go to Disney, aren't suffering. Second, when did kids become "precious" that parents have to plan everything around them.

Idk. There are some things like work & school that can’t be planned around DS. But, I absolutely believe that part of being a parent is to sacrifice my likes for his at least while he is young & they don’t interfere with things that have to be done. My DS has always been “precious” to me so that’s not something that’s changed. And my parents made many sacrifices for me so I don’t feel like it’s a new sentiment. Sure kids aren’t suffering if they can’t go to WDW or on vacation at all even. But, if we can’t afford something that’s one thing. But, not just b/c one of us doesn’t like something especially if it’s something like a WDW vacation that her kids really enjoy. I can understand him not liking it & expressing that. But, once I told him the kids were disappointed that he wasn’t going, I can’t imagine him just saying oh well?! Also, OP, why is it your job to delicately explain that dad is too selfish to suck up a vacation he doesn’t love just to be with them? Let him tell them.