What made you stop talking to close family members? (be specific)

[FINFAN]

That may be what she declares, but it's more than likely she knows the truth of what she did -- and she can never escape that knowledge.

IF that were actually true/came to pass, It would only be a sliver~ of a fraction~ of the anguish she caused my parents. The information I have, in writing , would break the heart of anyone let alone a parent experiencing it though the hands and heart of their own flesh and blood . I know, however, that her narcissistic self does not shed an ounce of regret or guilt. Matter of fact she feels completely justified in her own sick, little world. My parents died knowing they were abused by her...she will never, EVER, be forgiven by me.

 

[sunshinehighway]

IF that were actually true/came to pass, It would only be a sliver~ of a fraction~ of the anguish she caused my parents. The information I have, in writing , would break the heart of anyone let alone a parent experiencing it though the hands and heart of their own flesh and blood . I know, however, that her narcissistic self does not shed an ounce of regret or guilt. Matter of fact she feels completely justified in her own sick, little world. My parents died knowing they were abused by her...she will never, EVER, be forgiven by me.

I hear ya! My sister has an amazing ability to separate things so she can be right. The things she said to my dad (when he last tried to get her to make up with my mom) were so wrong and such a twist on things that happened but honestly it didn't totally shock me because that's what she does.
That's a big part of the reason I don't even try with her. I need her to understand how much her and her husband put me through and how much they hurt me. The way she's looking at things currently makes it impossible for her to understand that.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

I know, however, that her narcissistic self does not shed an ounce of regret or guilt. Matter of fact she feels completely justified in her own sick, little world.

That is the most pathetic thing about my sister. She can justify each and every single horrible thing that she does. Believe me, she sleeps well at night. Disgusting.

 

[bcwife76]

My dad is a selfish, self centred, ***** who has the morals of an alley cat.
He cheated on his first wife, he cheated on his second wife (my mom), he cheated on his third wife (my evil stepmother).

He stole money that was to go to me from an insurance policy, cashing cheques that were made out to my mom (her name was on the cheques but the money was meant for me) and forged her signature for years until the gov't cottoned on as no one was paying taxes on the money. That's how my mom found out about these dividends, contacted the insurance company that was sending out the cheques, got them sent to her address instead and then cashed out the entire policy and I got the remaining balance (approx $13.000, should have been closer to $20,000 but of course dear daddy had already stolen that money).

He YELLED at me on the phone the day I gave birth to my first daughter (via c-section so I was still doped up on pain meds at the time of the call) because he was not the FIRST one to receive a call that the baby had been born (he was the 3rd in a line of phone calls as my husband was rather BUSY at the damn time, holding his newborn daughter while his wife was in recovery).

He looked after our dog one weekend while we went to a destination wedding and on the last day (he claims) he took her for a walk in the nearby woods where she sustained a GASH in the side of her face. Claimed he didn't know how it happened. Cost us $800 in vet bills.

So yeah.....that ****er can rot.

 

[Goodguy66]

My mom keeps talking to me I would like her to not be talking to me right now to stay out of my room and stop with this bug nonsense saying there's bugs there is not.

 

[Goodguy66]

My Mom she is once again starting up with the bug nonsense she wants me to believe that there is bugs in the house and there isn't she has a mental illness is affecting her brain making her think she's seeing bugs and she isn't I would like her to stop talking to me and stay out of my room right now. I would like her to make an appointment to see a therapist to get help with her mental illness.

 

[Karin1984]

My Mom she is once again starting up with the bug nonsense she wants me to believe that there is bugs in the house and there isn't she has a mental illness is affecting her brain making her think she's seeing bugs and she isn't I would like her to stop talking to me and stay out of my room right now. I would like her to make an appointment to see a therapist to get help with her mental illness.

Call her doctor and ask for advice.

Doesn't have to be a 'regular' mental illness, is she an alcoholic who has stopped drinking? (no need to answer here) Could be delirium tremens.

 

[Goodguy66]

Call her doctor and ask for advice.

Doesn't have to be a 'regular' mental illness, is she an alcoholic who has stopped drinking? (no need to answer here) Could be delirium tremens.

She smokes a lot of cigarettes. Calling her doctor would be a good idea Yes. There is alcohol here but she hardly drinks it no.

 

[fla4fun]

I have never cut ties with any family members, but there are two factions in our family who aren’t speaking, and it’s because they are on opposite ends of the political spectrum and very stubborn. Stubbornness runs deep on my mom’s side of the family. My sister and I are like Switzerland and speak to all of them, whether we agree with them or not.

 

[ChristmasElf]

'I haven’t spoken to my Mother in almost a year. She doesn’t live close by (about 1100 miles away) I used to fly her down here to Florida, where she would stay for several months, I pay her cel phone bill, for Christmas we bought her a brand new car so she would have reliable transportation while down here and then my DH would have the car transported back to New York when she went home in March.
She didn’t like the color of the car, said it was too expensive, had too many gadgets, that I should have bought the same kind of car a friend of hers had, (a much cheaper car that IMO would not hold up as well) good Lord, it was all too much.

The 5 months she was here we took her to all kinds of fun places, yet she would complain. Out to lunch or dinner, didn’t matter, she’d complain. Called my sister every night to complain about her day. Finally my husband just came out and asked her if she just wanted to go home. She would say No and stay another month or 2, until one day, we couldn’t take it anymore and made arrangements for her to go home.
I thought that was fine..she’d go home, and wanted to snowbird here in Florida every winter and hopefully we would all get along.
But, nothing is/was ever good enough for her. She accused me of bribing her into permanently moving to Florida, blah blah blah. We offered to buy her a condo so she could come and go as she pleased, she said no.
A week after she went home, my DH called a car transport company to arrange for her new car to be delivered to her. The day or 2 before the driver was to come pick the car up, the transport company called her to confirm she would be there at her house to accept the car, she tells the company not to deliver it and then she gets my sister to call me to announce that our Mothers brother had bought her a nice USED car the week prior. What? They all knew we had bought her a brand new car for Christmas just a few months prior. So now, we are stuck with another car that would just sit in our driveway.

That’s when my DH lost it and said he was DONE with her foolishness and the way she treated me over the years.
I’m actually relieved, as when I look back on her behavior, actions, whatever, she is a very selfish, self centered person who I always felt that I had to “buy” her just to be a decent person to me.
There’s more, but if I put it all out here, no one would ever believe all the crap we’ve put up with.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

'I haven’t spoken to my Mother in almost a year. She doesn’t live close by (about 1100 miles away) I used to fly her down here to Florida, where she would stay for several months, I pay her cel phone bill, for Christmas we bought her a brand new car so she would have reliable transportation while down here and then my DH would have the car transported back to New York when she went home in March.
She didn’t like the color of the car, said it was too expensive, had too many gadgets, that I should have bought the same kind of car a friend of hers had, (a much cheaper car that IMO would not hold up as well) good Lord, it was all too much.

The 5 months she was here we took her to all kinds of fun places, yet she would complain. Out to lunch or dinner, didn’t matter, she’d complain. Called my sister every night to complain about her day. Finally my husband just came out and asked her if she just wanted to go home. She would say No and stay another month or 2, until one day, we couldn’t take it anymore and made arrangements for her to go home.
I thought that was fine..she’d go home, and wanted to snowbird here in Florida every winter and hopefully we would all get along.
But, nothing is/was ever good enough for her. She accused me of bribing her into permanently moving to Florida, blah blah blah. We offered to buy her a condo so she could come and go as she pleased, she said no.
A week after she went home, my DH called a car transport company to arrange for her new car to be delivered to her. The day or 2 before the driver was to come pick the car up, the transport company called her to confirm she would be there at her house to accept the car, she tells the company not to deliver it and then she gets my sister to call me to announce that our Mothers brother had bought her a nice USED car the week prior. What? They all knew we had bought her a brand new car for Christmas just a few months prior. So now, we are stuck with another car that would just sit in our driveway.

That’s when my DH lost it and said he was DONE with her foolishness and the way she treated me over the years.
I’m actually relieved, as when I look back on her behavior, actions, whatever, she is a very selfish, self centered person who I always felt that I had to “buy” her just to be a decent person to me.
There’s more, but if I put it all out here, no one would ever believe all the crap we’ve put up with.

Dang this is an old thread that popped up

Anywho sounds like your mom is a complainer, probably bitter for not much reason BUT it also sounds like y'all force things on her that may not be of her wishing and I found myself reading your story asking myself why y'all would do these things.

Most people would be the opposite where they got a used car as a gift but complained that it was used when they really wanted new. While it was a very nice gift you seem to attach strings to it. She appears to be taking a less than mature route about though.

You bought her a new car, you pay for her cell phone, you paid for the transport for the new car (that she didn't want and now you're making her take it back in her home), you offered to buy her a condo. I'm not even certain why you would buy her a condo to come and go as she pleases. Maybe you're not bribing her but you are seemingly putting a strong nudge in there.

Did you consult with her on this new car, have her test drive it to see if she would me comfortable driving it? Or did you just buy her it? You know how most people agree a spouse shouldn't really buy a car for the other one without having them pick it out? In your opinion this other car wouldn't hold up very well but that's just your opinion, why does the recipient of the used car's opinion not matter? The expense and the too many gadgets part are very valid. These cars these days are so technologically filled some are easier to use than others. The color is superficial though.

TBH your last part where you say she's a very selfish, self-centered person who you always felt like you had to buy her just to be a decent person to her seems to not match what you've explained. Most times if someone was like that they would actually accept the gifts you gave and usually wanting increasingly more expensive things (often equating expense with how you feel about them the less you spend then that to them means they mean less to you). From what you wrote she's declining these gifts in a way that makes me think this is less about you buying her love and more a crossing of the wires between what each of you need. I could be wrong about that. Maybe it's possible you feel like you need to buy her love and she feels like all you're doing is trying to buy her love. There's obviously quite a lot of history in the past.

 

[ChristmasElf]

Dang this is an old thread that popped up

Anywho sounds like your mom is a complainer, probably bitter for not much reason BUT it also sounds like y'all force things on her that may not be of her wishing and I found myself reading your story asking myself why y'all would do these things.

Most people would be the opposite where they got a used car as a gift but complained that it was used when they really wanted new. While it was a very nice gift you seem to attach strings to it. She appears to be taking a less than mature route about though.

You bought her a new car, you pay for her cell phone, you paid for the transport for the new car (that she didn't want and now you're making her take it back in her home), you offered to buy her a condo. I'm not even certain why you would buy her a condo to come and go as she pleases. Maybe you're not bribing her but you are seemingly putting a strong nudge in there.

Did you consult with her on this new car, have her test drive it to see if she would me comfortable driving it? Or did you just buy her it? You know how most people agree a spouse shouldn't really buy a car for the other one without having them pick it out? In your opinion this other car wouldn't hold up very well but that's just your opinion, why does the recipient of the used car's opinion not matter? The expense and the too many gadgets part are very valid. These cars these days are so technologically filled some are easier to use than others. The color is superficial though.

TBH your last part where you say she's a very selfish, self-centered person who you always felt like you had to buy her just to be a decent person to her seems to not match what you've explained. Most times if someone was like that they would actually accept the gifts you gave and usually wanting increasingly more expensive things (often equating expense with how you feel about them the less you spend then that to them means they mean less to you). From what you wrote l she's declining these gifts in a way that makes me think this is less about you buying her love and more a crossing of the wires between what each of you need. I could be wrong about that. Maybe it's possible you feel like you need to buy her love and she feels like all you're doing is trying to buy her love. There's obviously quite a lot of history in the past.

Thank you for the reply. The reason I bought her the car was that she had been complaining about her car being over 10 years old and the section that attaches the engine to the car was rusting through. I figured it would be nice to surprise her with the new car at Christmas (she arrived late November (when she arrived it was sitting in the driveway with a bow on the dash)
The reason we were transporting it back to her state was so she could drive it after she went home. (My sister and her husband had offered to drive her back down the following fall)
The car was a 2021 GMC Terrain-similar in size to the car she had been driving which was also a mid sized SUV. So, she really didn’t have much of an argument, other than the old nothing was ever good enough.

Ya know, it’s was a lesson learned. Thanks again for the reply.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

OOOO A zombie thread.
6 out of 10 zombies said they stopped talking to their relatives because they ate their brains.
3 out of 10 zombies said their relatives stopped talking to them and they can't help being zombies.
1 out of 10 zombies told us he wanted to stop talking and start eating.


So we hopped into the poll mobile and got out of there quickly.

 

[ronandannette]

Thank you for the reply. The reason I bought her the car was that she had been complaining about her car being over 10 years old and the section that attaches the engine to the car was rusting through. I figured it would be nice to surprise her with the new car at Christmas (she arrived late November (when she arrived it was sitting in the driveway with a bow on the dash)
The reason we were transporting it back to her state was so she could drive it after she went home. (My sister and her husband had offered to drive her back down the following fall)
The car was a 2021 GMC Terrain-similar in size to the car she had been driving which was also a mid sized SUV. So, she really didn’t have much of an argument, other than the old nothing was ever good enough.

Ya know, it’s was a lesson learned. Thanks again for the reply.

I guess what we’re confused about is why you simply didn’t ask her what would be helpful to her, if helping was really your intent. Same with the condo idea - what does she want and/or need in her life right now? You apparently have the means to be very supportive but instead make and impose decisions that any competent adult would wish to make for themselves and then are baffled at why you are not appreciated. Give it a rethink - it sounds more like resistance to your control than ingratitude.

 

[Kimkimba]

I really distrust most of my family (siblings and their offspring). I was super close to my parents but they died a long time ago. I wouldn’t trust these relatives not to steal from me, so I have no problem not speaking to them.

My husband’s family is great. They are my family.

 

[ChristmasElf]

I guess what we’re confused about is why you simply didn’t ask her what would be helpful to her, if helping was really your intent. Same with the condo idea - what does she want and/or need in her life right now? You apparently have the means to be very supportive but instead make and impose decisions that any competent adult would wish to make for themselves and then are baffled at why you are not appreciated. Give it a rethink - it sounds more like resistance to your control than ingratitude.

Helping really is all of my intent. I constantly asked her what she wanted. She just wanted to be begged .

I added her to my cel account years ago and buy her a brand new phone every time the new one comes out. I also pay her car insurance, have paid off the last 2 cars she had, and just overall help her whenever she needed it.
In the past, she came to visit twice (sometimes more) times a year and had said how much the cold weather up north would really bother her. Her house payments are too high for her and my sister has been wanting her to sell her house for the last few years and move down to Florida (where most of her friends have moved to) so the cold weather would no longer be a problem, nor the house payments and maintenance, (plus I think my sister needed a break)
I should mention that my sister and her husband would move to Florida in a heartbeat if they could.
Overall, I just think she (Mom) is afraid of “change” but who knows. One day, she wants to move, the next she was reluctant.
I could never win. I would offer to take her house hunting, she would find a reason not to go, only the following day to be upset that I hadn’t forced her to go looking the previous day. I even offered her a job if she wanted to work. Totally on her schedule, she could work the hours she wanted, plus get her out of the house as she is pretty active.
She was all over the place. Some people are just never happy. So I gave up.

 

[Boopuff]

We no longer talk to my BIL (my DH youngest bro) His wife died (in the middle of their very messy divorce) Leaving him with 4 young adults. He's become a real drunk, obnoxious middle aged creep (he likes to follow young bands, wear offensive t-shirts, drink a lot) He's such an looser.. Luckily, 2 of his 4 kids have been successful in life, our niece got pregnant at 17 (he refuses to help her) and my younger nephew has become a tragic drug user. (and BIL refuses to help him) yeah he's a real peach.