What can I do to help my friend?

[Sonya]

One of my best friends just had a miscarriage. She and her DH had been so looking forward to this baby, their 1st. I've taken her to the Drs and listened to her talk, and reassured her that it wasn't her fault. I feel like I should do something more but I don't know what. I don't know if she is ready to go on or still grieving. What can I do to help her through this?

 

[debster812]

Exactly what you are doing, and continue to be a good friend. She will need to greive.

Thanks for being such a good friend to her.

 

[glo]

Listen...offer support and take your cues from ber. Sometimes people try to hard to change the subject and help someone get over it, when what they need is someone to talk to them about what they are going through and how they feel. Hugs, just by your post you are doing all the right things....she is lucky to have you!

 

[newmousecateer]

Just continue giving her support the way you are sweetie.

I know something like this is so very hard to understand and it is easy for her to blame herself. Just tell her there is always hope, to keep on trying and believe that they will blessed with a beautiful child in the future.

{{{HUGS}}} to her and DH.


and {{{HUGS}}} to you for being such a wonderful, caring friend.

 

[helenabear]

I agree with the others... it sounds like you are doing everything you can to support her. Just keep being there. SHe's lucky to have you as a friend.

 

[Kermit]

Tell her that you're sorry, and be willing to listen if she feels like talking. After the initial intense grief has passed, don't be afraid to acknowledge the fact that she was pregnant. So many people think that it will somehow help if they act like it never happened. They're wrong.

If you know what the baby's due date was supposed to be, mark that on your calendar now and do something when it gets here. I would have loved for someone in my family to have called me, but none of them did, and I know they didn't forget because I was due on my mom's birthday.

{{{Hugs}}} to you and your friend.

 

[binny]

My Aunt suffered 13 miscarriages and she treasured this poem. I dont kow if you want to pass it on to your friend or not but my Aunt found great solace in it.
((Hugs)) to you and your friend. Ive been there too.


I'll Lend You A Child
by Edgar Guest

"I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine," He said.

For you to love - while he lives

And mourn for when he's dead.

It may be six or seven years

Or twenty-two or three,

But will you, till I call him back,

Take care or him for Me?

He'll bring his smiles to gladden you,

And should this stay be brief

You'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay,

Since all from earth return,

But there are lessons taught down there

I want this child to learn.

I've looked this world over

In search for teachers true,

And from the throngs that crowd

Life's lanes, I have selected you.

Now will you give him all your love,

Nor count the labor vain,

Nor hate Me when I come to call to

Take him back again?"

I fancied that I heard then say,

"Dear Lord, Thy will be done,

For all the joy Thy child shall bring,

The risk of grief we'll run.

We'll shelter him with tenderness,

We'll love him while we may,

And for the happiness we've known

Forever grateful stay.

But should the angels call for him

Much sooner than we've planned,

We'll brave the bitter grief that come

And try to understand."

 

[Sonya]

Oh binny, I don't know if I can give her that yet or not. It's so sad and sweet! I'll save it for her and give it to her when she's more ready.
Thanks for the support everyone, glad I'm doing the right thing. Kermit, that's good advice, I'll remember her due date.