Wedding Gift for Niece?

[MrsPete]

For my niece? Her entire silverware set x2. A niece is a very close family member, and I've already chosen to give that gift to all my nieces. Silverware is something that is used daily, lasts for decades, and having lots of it is a good thing.

 

[TCRAIG]

I’m from New England and moved to the South East many years ago…for a ‘YANKEE’ wedding…it’s $500. For a Southern wedding (and yes, a good many of those receptions have been cake and punch in the church hall) - I give less. If I was on a more limited budget…not one of my Northern family or friend would be the least bit offended if the gift was less than ‘the norm’…and would cherish and appreciate a heartfelt handwritten note in lieu of $$ as well…

 

[Travel60]

last time I checked, everyone in the south isn't hard up. Not sure what else you could have meant, but will give the benefit of the doubt.

Note that I said rural south. Perhaps I should have said very rural south. As I said, you have to know your audience. I know my family.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I don't get the "regional" aspect. Okay, somewhat I do, but to me--a niece is a niece. (Note: I only have 3. Well, 4, but one lives in another country and I've never met her). Anyway, we gave $500 to the one whose wedding we attended, 800 miles away. We also gave $500 to the one who got married in a park on a Tuesday--we didn't even get invited to that ceremony (which is okay--we were 800 miles away!). If anything, the niece with the cheap-o wedding needed the money more, and kudos to her and her husband for having the wedding they could afford.

I might feel differently if I had more nieces, or less money.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm from the south, so cover your plate is not the experience I've had. In fact, I don't think I've ever been to a wedding with a plated dinner - It's always buffet style and oftentimes, party food instead of substantial dinner type food.

So, an honest question. What do people who can't afford large monetary gifts do? Do they just always decline? Or do the bride and groom only invite people that are in the financial bracket to be able to cover their plate? I'm thinking back to when my best friend from high school got married - she got married young - I think we were 22 or 23. I was just starting out as a first year teacher, as were most of her friends. At a one of these weddings where it is expected that you will cover your plate with a monetary gift, are the bride and grooms young, poor friends just not welcome?

It’s not the expectations of the couple, it’s the expectation from the guests. When I was a recent college graduate (and attended my first wedding, kids aren’t usually invited to weddings), my go to was $75/$100 (with no plus one). I don’t know of anyone who cared what people gave as gifts, but it seems as if some of the copycat’s who decided to host a nyc metro wedding didn’t get the memo (especially requesting cash gifts, no one here would do that). Give what you want to give. I think our weddings seem to be a bigger deal compared to some other cultures.

 

[focusondisney]

I don't get the "regional" aspect. Okay, somewhat I do, but to me--a niece is a niece. (Note: I only have 3. Well, 4, but one lives in another country and I've never met her). Anyway, we gave $500 to the one whose wedding we attended, 800 miles away. We also gave $500 to the one who got married in a park on a Tuesday--we didn't even get invited to that ceremony (which is okay--we were 800 miles away!). If anything, the niece with the cheap-o wedding needed the money more, and kudos to her and her husband for having the wedding they could afford.

I might feel differently if I had more nieces, or less money.

This is exactly what I meant when I said I give based on the relationship not the venue. The other thing that plays into my gift giving is the occasion. To me, a wedding is a monumentus occasion & worthy of a bigger gift than a birthday. So a birthday got a $20-30 gift, high school graduation $50. For weddings & bridal showers, a cousin’s kid might get a $50 - 75 gift & $150 cash wedding gift. My nieces & nephews got a $100 - 125 shower gift & the wedding gift was $250 - 300. Where the wedding was taking place is never a consideration for me. I don’t consider that “covering my plate”, but giving according to the importance of the honoree & event.