This old lady at Ikea went off on my kid today.

[Mouse House Mama]

yes, i know kids got switches back in the day. i've had to get my own, as well. i just didn't think most folks did that today. i'm shocked when i see a kid get spanked in public b/c it just rarely happens.


i appreciate knowing that i'm not the only one who thought that was out-of-line, though. my kid never even came close to the lady with the wrapping paper. the lady was just going off on the fact that the child wasn't listening to me. my kid could be on the spectrum for all that lady knew. i still kind of wonder if she is or isn't, myself. she's very bright, but very tough. she was definitely not listening to the point where she was going to get in trouble, but i ended up way madder than i should have been b/c this lady butted in, whether she should have or not.

Forget it- not even worth it as I read on I can see that you clearly think your child's poor behavior is funny. No wonder that lady had enough. I can only imagine what really happened.

 

[Luv2trav]

Wow... Just Wow.... I would have been mortified if my child did that. First of all that lady wouldn't have had to say anything to my child because my hand would have been on my child's behind before she had the chance. In the case she would have said something I would have backed the lady up! But I don't have to worry about that because my children wouldn't do that. My children would listen to me because they know what would happen if they didn't.

Thinking it's funny that your child flips the bird?? These are the same children that grow with little to no respect for their elders or authority... If I were you I would take care of this now..

 

[PaulaSB12]

Now granted... my kid had it comin', but I was stunned!

I got all the way through Ikea without too much problem.. mostly "I'm boooored." Ugh. Anyway... we get to the check-out line and it's long.. very long. My little girl is playing with a roll of wrapping paper that I had picked up. She's tossing it up in the air like a baton (she has gone to her first college ball games the last few weeks, and was taken with the twirler girl) - (i can't remember what they're called). Anyway... I tell her to stop. She doesn't. I tell her to stop again. She doesn't. She just flat out refused to listen to me. These two older (70s) ladies turned around and looked at her and looked at me, and then the one lady looked at my little girl and said meanly, "YOUNG LADY, DO YOU HEAR YOUR MOTHER??!!?!"

My little girl, who unfortunately has a little too much of me in her, says very rudely back to the lady, "YES." Then my little girl gives her a dirty look! OMG- I almost messed myself! Then the lady looked at her and before I could say anything she says, "WELL THEN YOU BETTER LISTEN TO HER AND DON'T YOU GIVE ME A DIRTY LOOK!"

I was too in shock to say anything. I was mad as all heck at my kid, and I wasn't too pleased with this old lady yelling at my kid. It wasn't like we were in her home, and my little girl never did accidentally hit her with the wrapping paper.

Then the old lady turned around and said, "I'm from a different age, and I wouldn't let her get away with that without gettin' a good whippin' with a switch." Then I looked at my little girl and said, "Ya hear that? I told you about the old days and pickin' switches." My girl was nothing but attitude. I was in shock. I walked out of that store steaming mad at everyone. I didn't know who to be mad at. I didn't want my little girl to see me taking up for her behavior, but I didn't want that old lady to get an earful from me in front of my kid, because really.. who the hell does she think she is?

I'm all about it taking a village, but I better know you if I'm standing right there. I'm sure it wouldn't have escalated to what it did had she not intervened. I mean... the kid lasted 2 hours in Ikea.

Can y'all believe that?? LOL

Good for her I get fed up of parents who let their children get away with any sort of bad behaviour without stopping anyone. Why should they be annoyed by your child?

 

[Luv2trav]

Augh.. the more I read this the more I feel the OP was happy her daughter stood up to the "old lady"... Like she is proud her daughter didn't take any of her crap... Look out honey you are going to be in a world of hurt later on and you won't be laughing then.

 

[PaulaSB12]

Augh.. the more I read this the more I feel the OP was happy her daughter stood up to the "old lady"... Like she is proud her daughter didn't take any of her crap... Look out honey you are going to be in a world of hurt later on and you won't be laughing then.

Especially as she thought the idea of her daughter making a vulger finger sign was funny. We have the snowflake of the week award winner here.

 

[NMAmy]

Like most people, I constantly correct my children and tell them what they should do to behave when they do not meet my standards. After a while they begin to tune me out ... there goes Mom, griping at me again. There is very effective shock value for most kids in having your parents' complaints about your behaviour echoed by a total stranger. Even my Aspie pays attention. It embarasses him and actually makes him THINK about how his behaviour looks to others, which is something that he does not do when the criticism comes from me.

Exactly. And I'm betting this woman has had a few kids and grandkids of her own and was trying to help the OP out. I know my dd would have been mortified if someone else had pointed out her bad behavior. This is why at our extended family gatherings, you often can hear a great-grandma or a cousin say to a child, "Your mother told you to stop doing that." It's pretty effective.

And when I start seeing one of these threads about "mean" older ladies every week, it makes me wonder exactly how badly these kids are behaving that the older ladies feel the need to step in.

I'm not a spanker, either, but if you don't discipline your own kids and make them behave in public, someone else may step in.

 

[NatashaDisneyCM]

Wow... Just Wow.... I would have been mortified if my child did that. First of all that lady wouldn't have had to say anything to my child because my hand would have been on my child's behind before she had the chance. In the case she would have said something I would have backed the lady up! But I don't have to worry about that because my children wouldn't do that. My children would listen to me because they know what would happen if they didn't.

Thinking it's funny that your child flips the bird?? These are the same children that grow with little to no respect for their elders or authority... If I were you I would take care of this now..

I agree wit this! there is nothing worse then being in a line and having an annoying child in line with you! and not having the parents do something about that! My daughter would never have even attempted something like this, and if she did. IT would be totally unexpectable!

 

[Disneyadore]

Thinking it's funny that your child flips the bird?? These are the same children that grow with little to no respect for their elders or authority... If I were you I would take care of this now..

Excuse me but what is Flipping a bird mean?

 

[teskak]

I would say nothing in the shop - BUT Madam would get a major Come to Jesus conversation as soon as we got to the car for sassing somebody else after she had already been warned.

That conversation would be administered via her butt as messages seem to be understood that much better that way. Only happens once or twice a year, but the message is learned, along with the promise that further attitude would bring the same.

As I said, only once or twice a year

 

[alexandria674]

Excuse me but what is Flipping a bird mean?

Giving someone the middle finger which means...something I can't say on the DIS board.

 

[wdwmom2]

Excuse me but what is Flipping a bird mean?

It means sticking your middle finger up.

Sorry, OP, but I am with "team Granny". Your DD was out of control and wasn't listening to you. She will need to learn to listen to people all through her life, whether school, employer, laws.

I would have stepped out of line immediately and took control of the situation. Then I would have made her apologize to the lady for her misbehaviour. And if that embarrassed her, GOOD!!!! Maybe she will think twice the next time before not listening.

But kudos to you for taking action once you got home.

 

[golfgal]

First, I would have taken the wrapping paper away and second I would have been MORTIFIED if my child talked to someone like that. If you tell her to stop, follow through and make her stop. That doesn't mean you have to take a switch to her but at least take away the wrapping paper. Something also tells me that since she chose not to listen in that manner that you don't follow through on many things and you have bigger issues than a woman correcting your child.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

First, I would have taken the wrapping paper away and second I would have been MORTIFIED if my child talked to someone like that.

What she said! Sorry OP, not everyone thinks its cute that your DD is taken with the college baton twirlers while she is spinning a large wrapping paper roll in the checkout aisle. Truth is, your DD disrepected YOU and I would nip that in the bud immediately.

 

[RunningGirl]

i have no reason to change anything.

i did change a grammatical error that i caught as soon as i posted the very first time.

i'm perfectly fine with all of this; the criticism... and the nice support. i know what kind of mom i am. i know what kind of kid i have. i know that no one was there to actually see it play by play, and i have no recap available. you just have to go on my word of what happened. my kid is a little smartmouth with attitude (sometimes), but she's also incredibly smart, talented, sweet and cute to boot. i will ALWAYS take up for her over anyone else. she's not perfect, and by no means do i treat her as a snowflake. i do not let her roll over me and i do not let her pull the punches. i am strict, but fair. i also know to pick my battles. i'm a hillbilly, but not a redneck. i try to refrain from showin' my fanny even if she is hellbent on doing so herself.

to those who want to speculate and judge my parenting... have at it. i'm opinionated, too, but i do try really hard not to be presumptuous. thanks.

I really hope you don't include teachers and school administrators in this blanket statement.

I understand your amazement at the woman's blatant statements; if she was really trying to help she probably could have done it in a more effective way. However, I also understand her frustration. I have seen so many parents who are way too meek with their overly rambunctious children and only make feeble attempts to control them. Saying "stop that" over and over with no consequence when the child doesn't listen is not effective parenting. One thing my kids learned early - I don't make idle threats and I don't repeat something more than once.

 

[powellrj]

Instead of being angry at granny, I would have been mortified that my DD behaved in a way that granny felt she needed to step in.

 

[RitaZ.]

Am I the only one who has no idea what a switch is?

I learned about "the switch" when I was in my 20's. A coworker kept talking about getting "beat to a pulp" with a switch (her exact words) when she was a young girl. Her parents would make her pick her own switch and if it wasn't bumpy enough, she'd get in even more trouble. I finally asked her, "What the heck is a switch?" She explained it to me. BTW, she was from upstate NY.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Another vote for team Granny.

The OP has to learn to control her own child better. The kid didn't listen to Mom, then gave the granny a dirty look--and the OP is making excuses by saying he'll always defend her kid. I have 4 kids, I'm the first one sympathetic when a little one is having a bad day--but this kid was obnoxious! First with the wrapping paper, then with her attitude towards Mom, then attitude towards Granny.

OP, you have to get your child under control--yesterday. I have one that has attitude and thinks the rules don't apply to him. He requires a different parenting style than my other three. He loses electronics equipment fairly regularly, and has had his room stripped, twice. He just doesn't seem to learn a lesson unless it's painful (Not so much physically, we don't beat him--it's more a psychological thing). You need to do more to establish your authority and find out what discipline methods work for the child you have. It will not get easier with time. I'm saying this mom-to-mom, not meant as criticism.

 

[okeydokey]

It seems like a great learning experience for your DD. The reprimand from the woman was a natural consequence of your DD not behaving as she should. You act up in public and don't listen to your mom, you may get called out for it. I wish more people were more willing to speak up to unruly children in public.

I'm very glad to see that you have also given the appropriate consequence at home.

 

[Mkrop]

I am with team Granny here too

My kid would have been a heap of trouble if he didnt listen to me and then to give someone attitude. That does not fly with me. I would have appreciated her comments. Maybe the swtich talk was overboard but I would have used that too to explain to my kid that they are lucky that isnt used in our house.

I do find it somewhat concerning that you think it is funny that your DD does not respect authority. And also in my eyes that lady has earned our respect, 1) because she is older and as I am learning as I grow up proabbly has a better clue than I do 2)and I give strangers the benefit of the doubt that they need to be respected until they have proven otherwise. I mean my kids meet new people all the time, a new coach, a mom that comes to the classroom to read to the kids etc. I teach my kids that these people deserve our respect from the beginning, not later when they"earned" it. How the heck long would that take in your eyes?????

 

[wdwfan16]

Another with Team Granny!