This old lady at Ikea went off on my kid today.

[brockash]

Well, next time you might want to include that bit in your opening post.

There was no consequence to her ignoring you (other than the older woman scolding her) in your original post. Sorry, my mind reading skills are a little rusty and I was reading and then posting when you decided to elaborate.

I'm guessing the reason OP didn't include it in her opening post, was because her parenting skills wasn't the point of the thread, as you can see by the title. The point and thing that seemed to shock OP, was the butting in of complete strangers in her conversation with her 6 year old dd.

 

[mum4jenn]

That's definitely not my kid.

My kid is happy-go-lucky, but has a problem with authority. Everyone thinks they have the answers, but I double dog dare ya to figure it out. I'm sorry that I don't beat the hell out of my kid. She has gotten some swats across her fanny, though, but the way some of y'all are high-steppin' tells me that you think you could fix her.

At 6?????? Yes I imagine many of us could fix that problem. You don't have to beat a child to get them to understand that at 6 years old they should not have a problem with authority.

 

[ogreenlee]

Mine has only child syndrome, as well, but so do I.

And "respecting your elders" became much more important to me as I became one. I also am a firm believer of "respect is earned".

 

[KristaTX]

She's probably just seen so many kids that don't behave, and your daughter was the "lucky" one who was finally the last straw.

The odd thing to me is that from how it sounds, your daughter wasn't the least bit taken aback by a stranger pointing out her disobedience towards you.

 

[ogreenlee]

At 6?????? Yes I imagine many of us could fix that problem. You don't have to beat a child to get them to understand that at 6 years old they should not have a problem with authority.

yeah, i'm just a slack mom who hasn't tried jack to fix it. i let everything slide.

 

[Connieh]

You could have saved yourself alot of trouble by just taking the wrapping away from her after she didn't listen the first time you told her stop swinging it around.

 

[brockash]

You could have saved yourself alot of trouble by just taking the wrapping away from her after she didn't listen the first time you told her stop swinging it around.

If you continue to read, you'll see that the OP later clarifies that she did take the wrapping paper away as soon as she could.

This next part is to the general you.

Really, I don't get why ppl. seem to want to be so quick to jump all over OP's parenting, when it's not even the point of the thread, not to mention that OP has repeatedly stated that she knew her 6 year old dd was in the wrong, disciplined her ect. She was just shocked by the blantant rude behavoir or a much older person (as in much older, therfore should have better manners, than her 6 year old dd.) Does it make you feel like a better parent to "say" how this would never happen to you, because you're just so darn on top of it all, all the time???? Really? I don't buy it

 

[Imzadi]

Well, next time you might want to include that bit in your opening post.

There was no consequence to her ignoring you (other than the older woman scolding her) in your original post. Sorry, my mind reading skills are a little rusty and I was reading and then posting when you decided to elaborate.

At least the OP didn't go back and change her OP as this has starting to turn into a flaming debate, but added it into new posts.

She still hasn't changed her OP by the way and no one has New Ruled her yet. Talk about the rest of us having a lack of discipline in following rules of conduct & behavior.




Sorry, OP, just following rules here at the DIS.

Now granted... my kid had it comin', but I was stunned!

I got all the way through Ikea without too much problem.. mostly "I'm boooored." Ugh. Anyway... we get to the check-out line and it's long.. very long. My little girl is playing with a roll of wrapping paper that I had picked up. She's tossing it up in the air like a baton (she has gone to her first college ball games the last few weeks, and was taken with the twirler girl) - (i can't remember what they're called). Anyway... I tell her to stop. She doesn't. I tell her to stop again. She doesn't. She just flat out refused to listen to me. These two older (70s) ladies turned around and looked at her and looked at me, and then the one lady looked at my little girl and said meanly, "YOUNG LADY, DO YOU HEAR YOUR MOTHER??!!?!"

My little girl, who unfortunately has a little too much of me in her, says very rudely back to the lady, "YES." Then my little girl gives her a dirty look! OMG- I almost messed myself! Then the lady looked at her and before I could say anything she says, "WELL THEN YOU BETTER LISTEN TO HER AND DON'T YOU GIVE ME A DIRTY LOOK!"

I was too in shock to say anything. I was mad as all heck at my kid, and I wasn't too pleased with this old lady yelling at my kid. It wasn't like we were in her home, and my little girl never did accidentally hit her with the wrapping paper.

Then the old lady turned around and said, "I'm from a different age, and I wouldn't let her get away with that without gettin' a good whippin' with a switch." Then I looked at my little girl and said, "Ya hear that? I told you about the old days and pickin' switches." My girl was nothing but attitude. I was in shock. I walked out of that store steaming mad at everyone. I didn't know who to be mad at. I didn't want my little girl to see me taking up for her behavior, but I didn't want that old lady to get an earful from me in front of my kid, because really.. who the hell does she think she is?

I'm all about it taking a village, but I better know you if I'm standing right there. I'm sure it wouldn't have escalated to what it did had she not intervened. I mean... the kid lasted 2 hours in Ikea.

Can y'all believe that?? LOL

 

[ogreenlee]

i have no reason to change anything.

i did change a grammatical error that i caught as soon as i posted the very first time.

i'm perfectly fine with all of this; the criticism... and the nice support. i know what kind of mom i am. i know what kind of kid i have. i know that no one was there to actually see it play by play, and i have no recap available. you just have to go on my word of what happened. my kid is a little smartmouth with attitude (sometimes), but she's also incredibly smart, talented, sweet and cute to boot. i will ALWAYS take up for her over anyone else. she's not perfect, and by no means do i treat her as a snowflake. i do not let her roll over me and i do not let her pull the punches. i am strict, but fair. i also know to pick my battles. i'm a hillbilly, but not a redneck. i try to refrain from showin' my fanny even if she is hellbent on doing so herself.

to those who want to speculate and judge my parenting... have at it. i'm opinionated, too, but i do try really hard not to be presumptuous. thanks.

 

[NotUrsula]

...
i appreciate knowing that i'm not the only one who thought that was out-of-line, though. my kid never even came close to the lady with the wrapping paper. the lady was just going off on the fact that the child wasn't listening to me. my kid could be on the spectrum for all that lady knew. i still kind of wonder if she is or isn't, myself. she's very bright, but very tough. she was definitely not listening to the point where she was going to get in trouble, but i ended up way madder than i should have been b/c this lady butted in, whether she should have or not.

I'm not going to agree with you that the lady was out of line, at least not at first, anyway. (Going on about the switch was overkill.) She wasn't addressing the issue of the wrapping paper, she was addressing the issue of watching someone's parent get publicly disrespected by a child.

I call out stranger's kids when I see them disrespecting their parents in public, and ftr, I *do* have a kid on the spectrum. I'm grateful as I can be for people who will call out my kid when he isn't listening to me, and here's why:

Like most people, I constantly correct my children and tell them what they should do to behave when they do not meet my standards. After a while they begin to tune me out ... there goes Mom, griping at me again. There is very effective shock value for most kids in having your parents' complaints about your behaviour echoed by a total stranger. Even my Aspie pays attention. It embarasses him and actually makes him THINK about how his behaviour looks to others, which is something that he does not do when the criticism comes from me.

 

[ogreenlee]

I'm not going to agree with you that the lady was out of line, at least not at first, anyway. (Going on about the switch was overkill.) She wasn't addressing the issue of the wrapping paper, she was addressing the issue of watching someone's parent get publicly disrespected by a child.

I call out stranger's kids when I see them disrespecting their parents in public, and ftr, I *do* have a kid on the spectrum. I'm grateful as I can be for people who will call out my kid when he isn't listening to me, and here's why:

Like most people, I constantly correct my children and tell them what they should do to behave when they do not meet my standards. After a while they begin to tune me out ... there goes Mom, griping at me again. There is very effective shock value for most kids in having your parents' complaints about your behaviour echoed by a total stranger. Even my Aspie pays attention. It embarasses him and actually makes him THINK about how his behaviour looks to others, which is something that he does not do when the criticism comes from me.

I can totally see your point. My issue was how she did it, and how mean she came across. It was too harsh. It was more of an attack, and well.. my kid didn't cower. What can I say?

I do understand your point, though.

 

[FireDancer]

The real question is was there any poking of purses or name asking? Now that would be crossing the line!

I never got a switch but my mom's family is all from Sicily and I have gotten a wooden spoon from her, my grandma, and my great grandma. Dad used to use a piece of board. My brothers and I deserved every swat we got and probably a lot more.

 

[ogreenlee]

I'm not sure if you saw my post from a few weeks ago about her learning how to flip the bird on the bus.

I'm just glad she didn't give the old lady the finger. LOL

 

[AshleyW]

The real question is was there any poking of purses or name asking? Now that would be crossing the line!

I never got a switch but my mom's family is all from Sicily and I have gotten a wooden spoon from her, my grandma, and my great grandma. Dad used to use a piece of board. My brothers and I deserved every swat we got and probably a lot more.

My mom used to use a wooden spoon on my brother.. until she broke it once. He got graduated to the belt after that.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Picking battles with children that won't behave

 

[dismom2]

That wouldn't have bothered me at all. But, I would have had the wrapping paper in the cart, and my child next to me (not walking around while I am in line). I like seniors, and if my child was acting up and not listening to me, I know they would be shocked if a woman like that said something to them, and they would have shaped up really fast. And I would probably have said to my child, "see-- this is why you need to behave in public". It would be a learning experience. No need to get upset about it. I would be more concerned if my child gave that person an attitude, or didn't listen to them or me.

 

[Jacoby 46]

I'm not sure if you saw my post from a few weeks ago about her learning how to flip the bird on the bus.

I'm just glad she didn't give the old lady the finger. LOL

It is mind boggling to me that you think that would be funny

 

[dismom2]

It is mind boggling to me that you think that would be funny

It does say a lot, doesn't it?

 

[crazee4mickey]

Yes, respect the elders. It doesn't matter if you know them or not. A generation ago, (along with the switches ) yes, whole neighborhood streets & villages used to look out for the kids if the parents weren't around. (They might have been caught working late, getting home late and kid sitting on the stoop.) Even if they didn't know the parent or the kid personally. It was the right thing to do. In turn, children were taught to mind their elders.

Okay, I have a real problem with the OP repeatedly referring to an elderly woman as "old lady" and then to comment "I'm just glad she didn't give the old lady the finger. LOL "

WTH? You find that funny? I have no idea where or why your child may be rude or disrespectful but from what you've posted here this may be just the beginning if you aren't going to teach her to respect people.

BTW, I'm only 40 and have raised 4 kids and if my children ever behaved that badly that someone else felt the need to speak up, I would be mortified and embarrassed and DD would not being giving attitude to anyone!

 

[Piecey]

It's probably just my attitude, but I'd of been irritated as crap at the lady.

I don't like stuff like that. I'd look at it like the lady was trying to tell me I wasn't doing enough to get my kid to stop and I'd be irritated with her for thinking she had a right to say anything about something that didn't involve her at all...

Again, that is my attitude... and I realize it's problematic at times.