So, This Just Happened To A Friend Of Mine

[Nancyg56]

That generation is just different. I had a great aunt who would say racist things, but it was just how she was brought up and how they did/said things back then. She was not racist, she just didn't know any better.

I just don't buy that reasoning. I think that when an older person refuses to edit their commentary even though you have told them it is not acceptable, that commentary becomes a choice. I was raised in an era when certain words peppered many adults speech. It is not an acceptable reason to continue using them now. As a child I did not have a powerful enough voice to express that they were offensive terms, but as an adult, I do.

The example of the old lady in the elevator maybe so pathetic it is laughable, and as a stranger I woudl probably not try to make a change, but simply walk away. A family member or a friend talking liek that? It becomes personal and if I simply accepted that they did not know better what would that say about me?

 

[ford family]

When he was offered some watermelon, why was his first thought "that's racist"?

ford family

 

[Nancyg56]

When he was offered some watermelon, why was his first thought "that's racist"?

ford family

Just sit through one episode of Archie Bunker. As a freshman in HS we were assigned this a homework in my Civics class. I was 14 at the time, and this show had just premiered. OMGosh! I am 60 now, and still cringe at some of the comments Archie spews. I know people who continue to say the things he did back in 1970, and avoid them like the plague.

 

[3 MEN AND A BOAT]

Well, Was it the best he'd ever had?
If so, where did the old woman get it?
I like watermelon.

 

[ford family]

Just sit through one episode of Archie Bunker. As a freshman in HS we were assigned this a homework in my Civics class. I was 14 at the time, and this show had just premiered. OMGosh! I am 60 now, and still cringe at some of the comments Archie spews. I know people who continue to say the things he did back in 1970, and avoid them like the plague.

I'm older than you so I remember Archie Bunker, it was an American version of the British comedy "'Til Death Us Do Part".
But, the Pavlovian response. "that's racist", when a white person offers a black person some watermelon out of a Tupperware container whilst in a lift is, to me, as equally suspect as the old lady's assumption that a black person was more of an expert on watermelon than she was.
If that thought had occurred to Des at the end of the conversation it would, to me, have been more justified. But it didn't, he went there straight away.
As ever, ymmv.

ford family

 

[Nancyg56]

I'm older than you so I remember Archie Bunker, it was an American version of the British comedy "'Til Death Us Do Part".
But, the Pavlovian response. "that's racist", when a white person offers a black person some watermelon out of a Tupperware container whilst in a lift is, to me, as equally suspect as the old lady's assumption that a black person was more of an expert on watermelon than she was.
If that thought had occurred to Des at the end of the conversation it would, to me, have been more justified. But it didn't, he went there straight away.
As ever, ymmv.

ford family

I know where the show originated from, and still feel that as relevant as it was at the time, it can be as provocative today.

I cannot say "I" woudl have have thought twice about the remark, but my personal experience does not include racist comments directed to or about me in regards to watermelon. Put suppose it did, and my first thought was that the comment was stereotypical, but I ignored it as the op's friend did, and accepted the offer. If the interaction just included that portion, I woudl have rebuked myself, using it as my own opportunity to learn not to jump to a conclusion. However, that was not the end of that particular interaction, so it seems the man in the elevator was on point, unfortunately.


WE still have a long way to go in regards to stereotype, and not just in regards to men and women of color. As a 60 YO woman I am appalled that still today at the way women are viewed in many areas. I cannot violate the DIS policy, but I would love to have this conversation.

 

[luvsJack]

Just offering watermelon to a black person is racist? Wow, who knew? We have watermelon at work all the time this time of year as our boss's brother grows them. I will have to relay this information to her. Oh, but then she would be called racist because she didn't include them. . . When in all reality neither action would be racist but the second one would be due to trying to be politically correct. I am so glad my co workers do not tend to over analyze every single action or remark.

The last thing the lady said was questionable but who the heck knows what she was thinking? It may have actually had nothing to do with the color of his skin.

 

[rastahomie]

There's a show I watch (and I'll try to be oblique about this so I don't give away any spoilers), and one story arc revolves around this wealthy, Southern, white TV chef being sent to minimum-security prison for some white collar crime. Think Paula Deen meets Martha Stewart.

Anyway, the black inmates are suspicious of "Paula" at first because she's rich, white, and has a thick Southern accent. But she is as kind and sweet to them as she is to all of the other inmates, and soon she's in with the black inmates' group. Then some TV show from the 80's surfaces, and it was Paula, early in her career, doing a puppet show on cable access or something. One of her characters is "Negro Jim," and he's a stereotypical, Stepin Fetchit type in blackface. Some of the black inmates aren't at all pleased about this, and her relationship with them sours.

She tries to defend herself to her black friend she's made in prison. She talks about how the actor who did that puppet was black and he cashed his paycheck every week; how half of the people employed in her restaurants are black and they're paid competitive wages, the same as her white employees, and she promotes them generously without regard to race; etc. At the end she says something to the effect of, "If I'm racist, I'm the nicest racist you'll ever meet."

I think that's what happened to Des, lol. A "nice racist" figured "this black fella might enjoy some watermelon, because of course he would." ROFL

 

[fly girl]

This thread made me think of Wanda Sykes on Ellen a while back. Oh I love Wanda, she's hysterical.

The whole clip is great, but the watermelon part begins around the 3:30 mark. (If you skip ahead, remember Wanda has two kids. Her wife had them -- they are white.)

 

[amberpi]

A number of you are a lot more accepting of this stuff than I am - or was raised to be. When you hear someone say those kind of things, how do you react? Do you honestly just let it go?

 

[Skywalker]

I don't think that someone believing in a stereotype, necessarily makes them racist. To me the term racist should be saved for people who actually think another race is inferior, or discriminates or hates them in some way. And, I try to look at the intent as well. This person was sharing her watermelon with a total stranger lol. (Every culture has their stupid stereotypes attached to them, I don't think people are racist just because of that - if I ask my Dutch friend if she has wooden shoes and has a windmill in her yard, does that make me racist?)

 

[shoney]

A number of you are a lot more accepting of this stuff than I am - or was raised to be. When you hear someone say those kind of things, how do you react? Do you honestly just let it go?

Where I work these stereotypes are often brought up by black people not the white and done in jest. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable and sometimes funny. Apparently my potato salad that i made and was enjoying at lunch "had to be made by a white lady. Only white people make white potato salad". Who knew!!!

I remember wendy Williams saying she would never eat watermelon or fried chicken on air.

 

[amberpi]

Where I work these stereotypes are often brought up by black people not the white and done in jest. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable and sometimes funny. Apparently my potato salad that i made and was enjoying at lunch "had to be made by a white lady. Only whites people make white potato salad". Who knew!!!

I remember wendy Williams saying she would never eat watermelon or fried chicken on air.

Who knew! Interesting stuff.

 

[luvsJack]

A number of you are a lot more accepting of this stuff than I am - or was raised to be. When you hear someone say those kind of things, how do you react? Do you honestly just let it go?

What "stuff"? That she offered him watermelon? Or that she said he probably knows more about than she does?

She had watermelon, she didn't offer to go buy him one. What else would she offer him? Maybe she just wanted to get rid of the watermelon.

As for her last comment, you can't possibly know what was going on in her mind. You are assuming it was racist. Maybe she just doesn't eat watermelon very much and assumes everyone knows more about than she does.

i mean are we supposed to seriously now be careful what food we offer people? When I pick up lunch for my supervisor who happens to be black, should I never offer fried chicken even though it's the closest and quickest place to us?

 

[sunshinehighway]

I don't think that someone believing in a stereotype, necessarily makes them racist. To me the term racist should be saved for people who actually think another race is inferior, or discriminates or hates them in some way. And, I try to look at the intent as well. This person was sharing her watermelon with a total stranger lol. (Every culture has their stupid stereotypes attached to them, I don't think people are racist just because of that - if I ask my Dutch friend if she has wooden shoes and has a windmill in her yard, does that make me racist?)

Dutch isn't a race so I don't know how that would be racist. I would expect you to get a major eye roll though.
I think your definition of racism is a bit narrow. Stereotypes often lead to someone being treated differently so they can play a huge role in racism today. Also, stereotypes often have racist roots so buying into them is continuing the racism that created them (even if the person doesn't realize the history).

 

[Skywalker]

Dutch isn't a race so I don't know how that would be racist. I would expect you to get a major eye roll though.
I think your definition of racism is a bit narrow. Stereotypes often lead to someone being treated differently so they can play a huge role in racism today. Also, stereotypes often have racist roots so buying into them is continuing the racism that created them (even if the person doesn't realize the history).

To be fair, it is not only my definition, it is pretty much "the" definition but if it makes you feel better, go call people racist all day long.

 

[amberpi]

What "stuff"? That she offered him watermelon? Or that she said he probably knows more about than she does?

She had watermelon, she didn't offer to go buy him one. What else would she offer him? Maybe she just wanted to get rid of the watermelon.

As for her last comment, you can't possibly know what was going on in her mind. You are assuming it was racist. Maybe she just doesn't eat watermelon very much and assumes everyone knows more about than she does.

i mean are we supposed to seriously now be careful what food we offer people? When I pick up lunch for my supervisor who happens to be black, should I never offer fried chicken even though it's the closest and quickest place to us?

Sorry - I wouldn't have bothered in this situation. I was more thinking about a family member that says racist things around you? Like I said, as a kid we knew we couldn't see or be around one of my grand fathers because he said the n word and colored people. It wasn't "ok" because he was older. It was a hard no. I defriended a number of acquaintances when they would make racist remarks about Obama. They didn't have to like his policies but they couldn't be racist.

 

[DisneyOma]

not defending any kind of racism, but until a few months ago I had no clue the racial issues with watermelon, so let's not assume everyone knows about it, and this lady is an example that what happens when we get old, our tongue lose control

I didn't know it as a form of racism until this post - I always thought of watermelon as a southern US product, and only found around the northern areas during the 4th of July/hot summer months. But I never associated eating watermelon as a race issue. My very Caucasian family eats watermelon all summer. Every summer event has a hollowed out watermelon full of cut up fruit, and we argue over who is going to bring the fruit, who is going to carve the watermelon, etc. We argue over the seedless vs seeded variety. The natural pink vs the weird yellow.

To be fair, it is not only my definition, it is pretty much "the" definition but if it makes you feel better, go call people racist all day long.

No, the definition of racism has evolved from the more obvious to the sublime. To be put at a disadvantage because of your race is a form of racism. So, living in certain areas of the USA, where schools are poorly funded, and a minority race is not getting the same educational opportunities as a more affluent majority racial area is a form of racism. There doesn't have to be hate, or intent. It just means a divide based on race.

 

[LilyWDW]

In this case, I would have simply laughed it off. You don't know this woman. There is no clear intent one way or another. No matter which way you think, you are drawing conclusions that could easily be wrong by the information given.

I will also say, I knew a woman who didn't have a racist bone in her body, who would have been horrified of the thought of using any terminology that could be considered racist. Then she began showing signs of dementia. It can change people, make them totally different then they used to be. At that point in her life, she might have said something that the younger and mentally there version of herself would have been horrified of. After seeing that, I have a harder time making a snap judgement with situations like in the OP.

That's not to say that I immediately jump to the idea that it must be something like dementia. But an older woman whom I have never met and said the things said in the OP? I'm also not going to jump to the idea that they are a horrible raciest person.

 

[superme80]

LOL, my mom used the term "colored people" until the day she died. But you know what I say "black person" and soon that is gonna sound as dumb as colored people

My MIL still uses the term "colored people". She is the least racist person I know. She is just almost 80. That was the term that was used when she was growing up, and she still uses it. Until a few years ago, I had no clue about the racism regarding watermelon. I am from California, so I missed a lot of racist terms and stereotypes.