Okay, folks, this has really gotten out of hand.
Allow me to clarify further:
I was not trying to stir any pot with this post, at least not intentionally. It seems a lot of people have jumped to some conclusions thinking I am attacking their religious beliefs. That simply isn't true. I don't have a problem with any of you believing in whatever you believe in, really I don't. The issue at hand is one of bringing it into my home when you know how I feel about it.
I never said I would rudely get up from the table and walk away at someone else's home. If these were people who were not aware of my feelings, yes, I would sit quietly, but not participate. If questioned on this, I would quietly say I don't believe in it. That usually settles things without incident. If that's not acceptable to the host and they choose to make an issue of it, I would thank them for the invitation, tell them I do not wish to make them uncomfortable, and leave if they wish. That has never happened.
In almost every situation, the family or friends are fully aware of my feelings and understand that I will join them once they get grace out of the way. I usually go wash my hands, as much in preparation for eating as anything else. It's my way of giving them the opportunity to do what they want without feeling awkward about me sitting or standing there. On occasion, one or two family members have insisted they wait for me even after being told I do not do grace or prayers. This was just them being the idiots they are because those particular people aren't even religious.
Quite often I do not want to accept invitations for these dinners and that is for a number of reasons I won't bore you with. Infortunately, I have my wife to consider and she comes from a big family (I don't).
I also stated that if they need to pray before they eat in my home, I have no problem if they do so to themselves and not expect me to join in. Unfortunately, some people feel God isn't paying attention unless they make a little show of it. That, in my home, I have a problem with. I don't have much say in who my wife invites, but they all know how I feel about religion. To insist that they openly say grace anyhow, is rude, and a number of you have agreed with that. When I said they should take their prayer outside or all the way home was more out of frustration than what I would actually do. Perhaps I was wrong in expressing myself that way.
I have found that many, not all, but many Christians can be judgemental and many replies on this thread have proven that. Many are also very nice people and consider me their friend even if I am a heathen. They respect my beliefs and stay out of my face with theirs, even though I am open to friendly discussion about the entire issue. I include among those friends a priest, a bishop, and several ministers. Even though we are at odds regarding religion, we remain friends because we respect each other as people. As one might expect, their answers to my issue aren't as objective as I would like, so I reached out to the DIS members for some ideas.
When I started this post I was simply looking for some objective input on how to properly handle the issue of people wanting to say grace in my home. It bothers me that I have created a format for some pretty heavy bickering and that certainly was not my intention. I had hoped for a handfull of replies in which I might find a viable solution for my problem.
As for weddings and funerals (and I'll add christenings), I do not, as a rule, attend church service weddings, funerals, or christenings and while my friends my not like that, they understand. On the rare occasion I must attend a wedding (daughter or son, someday grandchildren) I keep a low profile and do not pretend to be a Christian for the moment. For funerals, I do not attend the church portion and quietly refrain from prayer at graveside. For christenings, I absolutely do not believe in the practice and do not attend, ever, even for my own children and grandchildren. That used to shock a lot of people, but they have come to deal with it.
Regarding the friends who asked me to be godfather to their son, I was, indeed, flattered and did politely decline. I just found it totally out of character for devout Christians to make such a request to someone they knew to be a devout heathen. I guess I tend to look for logic in too many things. By the way, that friendship dwindled because they could not carry on a simple conversation without reference to "the lord." Believe what you want, but please, stay out of my face with it.
I would ask all of you to know that heathens, athiests, and agnostics are people, too. We're not evil and we usually lead good lives. We don't go out trying to recruit members for there is no membership. It's simply what we do or don't believe in in our daily lives. We are as patriotic as anyone and are as willing to help someone in need as anyone. No religion on earth has the market on goodness. It comes in all shapes and sizes... and beliefs. Please accept us for what we are. After all, isn't that the Christian thing to do?
) when I see people in public praying, but I am still polite in my actions and accomodating.
