PSA 2day...if you smoke, don't whine that you're BROKE!!! minivent

[kaytieeldr]

I work in OB and I cannot count the number of people/patients that request extra diapers, cans of formula, wipes, bulb syringes etc...

I genuinely don't think that's connected in any way to the electronics or other luxuries those parents have. Just take a look at the Budget Board here, or any site with tips on saving money, or deals, or getting things free. One hint I see regularly in magazines is to ask your doctor for prescription samples to reduce the potentially high cost of needed medication.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Don't want to expose yourself to it? It's really not much of a worry since 99% of public places are nonsmoking.

I haven't read recent statistics, but last I did read, the U.S. smoking population was under 23% - and still shrinking.

Probably (but it's been a while so don't quote me) a combination of fewer people starting, fewer still quitting, and older smokers dying.

 

[Mic]

I live in NC (a state heavily supported by tobacco for decades), and grew up surrounded by smokers. Back then, smoking was not the expensive habit it is today, but my generation paid the price in other ways (namely health care costs). My grandparents smoked, my parents, and 3 of my siblings smoked. I don't know why I hated it, but I never had a desire to even try it. For my parents, quitting would be extremely hard because they have done so all their lives, but they started smoking outside when my asthmatic nephew was born. My BIL, on the other hand, is offended that I make him smoke outside. While my husband and I were dating, BIL and his wife had a baby girl. Within months, this child was in the hospital in an oxygen tent fighting for every breath, and do you think BIL and his wife stopped smoking? No. It was sickening and embarrassing to visit the baby in the hospital and have the nursing staff know I was related to such idiots. They reeked of cigarette and pot smoke; everyone noticed it the minute either one walked into a room. Now, 20 years later, BIL has an 8-year-old daughter with a new wife, and still smokes(only cigarettes, though). He is always borrowing money from my husband and it's become such a heated subject for us that my husband just doesn't tell me how much he "loans" him anymore. My BIL is always whining about not having money, not being able to take his daughter to Disney, etc. My husband has asked if we could take his brother's family to Disney with us more than once, but I refuse to until they can buy their own tickets. And all the resorts are NON-smoking now...how will he survive?

 

[kaytieeldr]

What about taking just your niece to WDW? It doesn't sound like you'd have a fun vacation with your BIL along - and it would give the girl a chance to breathe.

True the rooms are non-smoking. While most of the property is, there are designated smoking areas at the resorts and in the parks - but if he were to smoke in a WDW room, he (or more likely your husband) would have to pay a$250+ cleaning fee.

 

[superdiz]

Well yes most places are nonsmoking but we still have to walk by smokers on the street, in Disney no less. My big issue isn't really with smokers in general. It's with smokers wanting to do so around my child. And parents who say they love their children while smoking with them in the car/house etc. That's just cruel. I also think that obese parents overfeeding their children is cruel. Children can't make their own decisions, they learn what they live.

But OP was more upset about people c/o having no money and smoking. It's a silly thing to complain about. Do the math. My mom c/o having no money all the time. Now that she's quit smoking she has more spending money. It's good incentive to quit.

But I understand it's a difficult vice to overcome. I just wish that last 23% would try. Plus - it makes you ugly and ages you faster!!

 

[kaytieeldr]

Many things can make a person ugly; but I think - and if I'm wrong I apologize - what you're primarily addressing is my response directly above to Mic's post directly above that. She's doesn't seem to be concerned about smokers in general, but about wanting to get her niece on an as smoke free as possible vacation.

 

[abolanwoski]

I found several reliable sites - WebMD, Mayo Clinic, one specific to SIDS... - that, after several other possible causes, first place maternal smoking during pregnancy as a greater risk than any secondhand smoke after birth; but I couldn't find anything that even hinted at clothing with a smoke smell possibly being a cause. All due respect, what you're calling tough love I'd call extorting.

Actually, there was a medical journal article just this month discussing what is now being called "third-hand smoke" that showed that infants held by people who smoke absorbed nicotine through their skin off these peoples' skin and/or clothes.

I would have done the same thing PP did - it's not extortion, just common sense. If you can smell it on someone, then the chemicals are still on them.

 

[superdiz]

Not sure if you're responding to me kaytie... but I wasn't responding to you. It was a general thought on the issue. And yes, many things do make people ugly. Smoking just happens to make them physically uglier. Wrinkles, dry skin. Just like tanning. Looks great when you're 20. Come see me when you're 40.

 

[phred52]

I've just spent my break reading through a lot of this post.

I work in an ICU. Got a patient who is a smoker & in a coma, on life support for the past few days. Nicest family you'd ever meet. They happen to be non-smokers. I asked.

There is a strong cigarette smell in the hospital room. Constantly. The clothes are not the source of the smell (sent home days ago). I've found time to shampoo and thoroughly "bubble" wash the patient from head to toe for the last 3 days. Still smells of cigarettes in the room.

Interestingly enough, the night RN commented to me this morning that she found the time to again do a thorough head to toe washing. Several people helped her. They were unable to eliminate the cigarette odor ... but DID figure out the source.

It's coming from the patients sweat! Unfortunately, this person sweats a lot. But then again, maybe its a good thing .. getting that stuff out of the body...

 

[Deesknee]

Wow! thank goodness this is not an anti smoking thread.

so, how much do each of you that can't understand spending money on smoking spend on.... alcohol, soda, cable tv, eating at fast food or sit down restaurants, don't use coupons, coffee, etc. EVERYONE has vices, that cause them to do without other things. No, I don't smoke. Yes, I used to. Haven't for many years. Yes, I agree it is a horrible, disgusting habit. BUT, I grew up in a home where my mom would smoke a cigarette while I sat on her lap. My Dad smoked cigars and/or pipes for years. All but one of my grandparents smoked. They didn't know what they didn't know. Sometimes, like it or not cancer is genetic. My UNCLE died of breast cancer. He NEVER smoked. My aunt (in law)has cancer throughout her body. Noone in her home ever smoked.

To the op, I'm happy your kids grandmother quit smoking. I just hope you don't have a habit that some day they find out is harmful for your grand children to be around. Proven fact, children reap many rewards from having a loving relationship with elderly. compassion being just one.

 

[torinsmom]

I don't begrudge smokers for spending money. It's their money to spend. It does upset me when they do it around their innocent children though. Almost every asthmatic child I have had in my class the last 12 years had a parent who smoked. I would think that at least once my child was diagnosed, I would do whatever it took to stop.

And yes, cancer is genetic in many cases, but lung cancer, in particular is almost always related to smoking, either first hand or second hand. My mom lost 4 brothers and sisters to cancer within 2 years. This has been 10 years ago. It started with the oldest and went down the line, as each reached around age 52. She was so scared she and her remaining brother and sister would die as well, but they have all remained healthy, and are all at least 60. The ones who died were chain smokers and the cancer was traced to their lungs, although it had spread to other areas. The three that are left are two that have never smoked(and had spouses who did not smoke as well) and one that quit 12 years ago when the first sibling died of cancer.

So, genetics can predispose you to cancer, but your actions can increase the incidence even more, whether it is smoking, or other risky behaviors.

 

[pannm]

Wow! thank goodness this is not an anti smoking thread.

EVERYONE has vices, that cause them to do without other things.

To the op, I'm happy your kids grandmother quit smoking. I just hope you don't have a habit that some day they find out is harmful for your grand children to be around. Proven fact, children reap many rewards from having a loving relationship with elderly. compassion being just one.

I am the OP and never once mentioned anything about my kids grandmother...neither of them smoke or have ever smoked (thankfull for that!)

The thread wasn't started as an anti-smoking thread. It was simply to say that if you're going to smoke or if you FUND OTHER VICES or HABITS that you cannot afford, don't complain about being broke to other people. It's plain and simple. Don't COMPLAIN to me about not being able to afford your childs school supplies that cost under $20 for the entire year if you spend more on cigs in a week (I used the cigs, becuse that's what I experianced...someone COMPLAINING several times to me about being BROKE and then excusing herself to go light up- then comes back and tells me that she spends over $50 a week on cigs) I used smoking as my main example...but mentioned several times that other things fall into the category too- all habits and vices...if they are taking things away from your KIDS NEEDS, then that is an issue.

I believe this thread has gotten WAYYYYYY off base. I was talking about affording needs vs. wants and supporting your kids. I didn't even read 1/2 of the 'anti-smoking' posts that were on here, because it was blown past what the orig. post was even about.

The title is "If you smoke...don't whine that you're broke"...I never once stated that smoking is evil or that people who smoke are horrible...but if you do it, DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT not having money or being able to support your families needs.

 

[Ciciwoowoo]

I don't begrudge smokers for spending money. It's their money to spend. It does upset me when they do it around their innocent children though. Almost every asthmatic child I have had in my class the last 12 years had a parent who smoked.

My eldest son has asthma. We don't smoke (his father and I). His stepfather did smoke, but only came into the picture in the last few years. My son is 14 now. No one in our house smoked. He still developed asthma.

Asthma can be genetic. He has it, I have it, my mother has it, my great- grandfather died from it.

 

[tink_lover]

Ugh, my cut and paste isn't working, but I agree with OP about what this thread started as - my issue is with people like my friend who constantly complains about not having money. She had her electricity turned off due to not paying bill, recently started getting food stamps, and can't afford school supplies. Guess what she can still afford?

 

[crystaldawn]

My eldest son has asthma. We don't smoke (his father and I). His stepfather did smoke, but only came into the picture in the last few years. My son is 14 now. No one in our house smoked. He still developed asthma.

Asthma can be genetic. He has it, I have it, my mother has it, my great- grandfather died from it.

You're right asthma is not from smoking BUT the exacerbation's of asthma often ARE. There are plenty of kids with asthma (mine included) that DO have asthma but are not suffering additionally because they are exposed to smoke or other respiratory irritants. Unfortunately there are LOTS of parents who refuse to acknowledge that their smoking causes their kids to suffer (financially like in this post or medically).

The children that wreak of cigarettes while obviously having breathing issues certainly stick out.

 

[torinsmom]

My eldest son has asthma. We don't smoke (his father and I). His stepfather did smoke, but only came into the picture in the last few years. My son is 14 now. No one in our house smoked. He still developed asthma.

Asthma can be genetic. He has it, I have it, my mother has it, my great- grandfather died from it.

That's why I said "almost" every child I have had with asthma lived with smokers. There are exceptions, my nephew being one of them. His asthma seems to have stemmed from allergies which he has now outgrown, as he doesn't have asthma symptoms anymore. His asthma was pretty severe. I actually have mild allergic asthma as well, which ironically, is set off by cigarette smoke, as well as by floor stripping chemicals(those are the only triggers we have discovered). I just carry an inhaler with me, because it is hard to avoid cigarette smoke.

 

[arminnie]

I choose to limit my time with addicts of any variety. There are many treatment programs available, but nothing works if the person doesn't want to get clean. It is not easy.

There are people that I care about who have addictions to cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs. But for my own mental and physical health I choose to limit my interactions with active addicts. Phone conversations are okay. An active addict in my home - no thanks.

I grew up in extreme poverty. But my mother always had her cigarettes even when we were hungry.

 

[Deesknee]

I am the OP and never once mentioned anything about my kids grandmother...neither of them smoke or have ever smoked (thankfull for that!)

The thread wasn't started as an anti-smoking thread. It was simply to say that if you're going to smoke or if you FUND OTHER VICES or HABITS that you cannot afford, don't complain about being broke to other people. It's plain and simple. Don't COMPLAIN to me about not being able to afford your childs school supplies that cost under $20 for the entire year if you spend more on cigs in a week (I used the cigs, becuse that's what I experianced...someone COMPLAINING several times to me about being BROKE and then excusing herself to go light up- then comes back and tells me that she spends over $50 a week on cigs) I used smoking as my main example...but mentioned several times that other things fall into the category too- all habits and vices...if they are taking things away from your KIDS NEEDS, then that is an issue.

I believe this thread has gotten WAYYYYYY off base. I was talking about affording needs vs. wants and supporting your kids. I didn't even read 1/2 of the 'anti-smoking' posts that were on here, because it was blown past what the orig. post was even about.

The title is "If you smoke...don't whine that you're broke"...I never once stated that smoking is evil or that people who smoke are horrible...but if you do it, DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT not having money or being able to support your families needs.

Pannm- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply you were the post that was willing to keep what could be loving relationships away from her children and their grandparent. Also, I apologize to imply you were only referring to smokers for making their kids do without so they can have their vices. Again, sorry. And, I understand the frustration of listening to someone whine about not having money when they have addiction issues. I have found saying things like, "what a shame you can't quit (fill in the blank), it would make buying (fill in the blank) so much easier." Then I usually add, "but we all have vices, some are just more expensive than others." It has stopped a friend of mine from hinting to borrow money.
A side note.... my mom smoked for more than I've been alive (and I am middle aged). She quit, it is my belief her body physically couldn't handle it. Her mind has paid a terrible price as well and she became anti social. MY belief is that she was so addicted to the habit of lighting a cigarette while socializing she didn't know how to quit and socialize at the same time. Her organs have gone thru withdrawls. It is a sad way to watch someone spend their final years. So, I apologize if I became defensive about this particular topic. And again Pannam- sorry it happened in one of your threads. I honestly didn't mean to be so nasty directed at you.