PSA 2day...if you smoke, don't whine that you're BROKE!!! minivent

[superdiz]

I found several reliable sites - WebMD, Mayo Clinic, one specific to SIDS... - that, after several other possible causes, first place maternal smoking during pregnancy as a greater risk than any secondhand smoke after birth; but I couldn't find anything that even hinted at clothing with a smoke smell possibly being a cause. All due respect, what you're calling tough love I'd call extorting.

I love my mother and she's slowly killing herself by smoking. My grandmother died of COPD and had lung cancer. Look it up if you don't know what those are, I'm sure webMD is the most reliable source for this. Please note my sarcasm. Extortion? I'll take it. I really don't care if that is what it took. Extreme? I'll take it. I love my Mom. I love my son. It's better for both of them.

Nowhere in my post did I say I thought the smoke on her clothes would cause SIDS. I just find the smell repulsive and babies are obligate nose breathers - look that up too - Mayo Clinic perhaps this time? And why on earth should my precious infant need to be breathing that in while he's cuddled up close to Grandma?

I'm glad I love my family. And I'm happy to be an extortionist. Hopefully my Mom will get a few more years of enjoying her grandson because of it.

I cannot imagine a non-smoker would think smoking outside the home is a "gray" area. Any non-smoker smells smoke when people come back into the house. And that smell lingers. Not happening in my home.

And not for nothing, but a house that has been smoked in for years does not just clear out once smoking ceases. Linens, couches, curtains, rugs - they all reek until properly cleaned or removed.

I guess I'm so awful to want to protect an innocent infant from environmental hazards.

 

[jerseygirl81]

I know what you are talking about. My DH quit smoking in May and I am thrilled, mostly for his health but also the added cost. I know how expensive it can be, we live close to the NY border and he has paid $10/pack there and not much less in NJ. I have a friend who smokes as well as her husband, he brings home a six pack of beer on a regular basis and she like to have a few mixed drinks if she is having a bad day and on the weekends. She always takes care of her son and what he needs. But she always makes me annoyed when we take a vacation because she tells me she can't afford one, yet I don't just pull our vacation money out of the air. We make sacrifices and save money to take a vacation once a year and I refuse to feel sorry for her that she cant. Its a the point where I dont tell her anymore when we go away because her reaction just annoys me and I would'nt want someone to tell me how to spend my money so I bite my tongue and don't say it to her. I think if you don't want people to comment on your finances then don't tell them about your finances, but some people just want to have something to complain about and want to try to pull you into their misery or they want you to feel sorry for them. Linda

 

[Karenj2]

Luckily, there's no one in my family (immediate or extended) that smoke anymore - both DH and I react badly to smoke, and I wouldn't ever want to expose DD to it. Unfortunately, my dad has COPD because of his years of smoking (he started when he was 13 or 14, and quit when I was 10).

My dad quit smoking cold turkey (2 MISERABLE weeks!), and then put away the money that he had been spending on cigarettes, and we were able to go to WDW for a week back in '83!

 

[Debbie7452]

I found several reliable sites - WebMD, Mayo Clinic, one specific to SIDS... - that, after several other possible causes, first place maternal smoking during pregnancy as a greater risk than any secondhand smoke after birth; but I couldn't find anything that even hinted at clothing with a smoke smell possibly being a cause. All due respect, what you're calling tough love I'd call extorting.

My son's day care workers smoked outside on breaks, but I could smell it on their clothes. My son was sick constantly for his first year with allergic symptoms. I realized why this was happening and quit working. He stopped being sick almost instantly. He was still exposed to plenty of germs through his school age older siblings, but not any smoke. I know it's not like SIDS, but he was on breathing treatments and negatively affected.

 

[RachaelA]

I love my mother and she's slowly killing herself by smoking. My grandmother died of COPD and had lung cancer. Look it up if you don't know what those are, I'm sure webMD is the most reliable source for this. Please note my sarcasm. Extortion? I'll take it. I really don't care if that is what it took. Extreme? I'll take it. I love my Mom. I love my son. It's better for both of them.

Nowhere in my post did I say I thought the smoke on her clothes would cause SIDS. I just find the smell repulsive and babies are obligate nose breathers - look that up too - Mayo Clinic perhaps this time? And why on earth should my precious infant need to be breathing that in while he's cuddled up close to Grandma?

I'm glad I love my family. And I'm happy to be an extortionist. Hopefully my Mom will get a few more years of enjoying her grandson because of it.

I cannot imagine a non-smoker would think smoking outside the home is a "gray" area. Any non-smoker smells smoke when people come back into the house. And that smell lingers. Not happening in my home.

And not for nothing, but a house that has been smoked in for years does not just clear out once smoking ceases. Linens, couches, curtains, rugs - they all reek until properly cleaned or removed.

I guess I'm so awful to want to protect an innocent infant from environmental hazards.

I agree with you. I've already told DH he needs to talk to his mom about her smoking as well. She thinks we're idiots and don't know that she smokes in private (yeah the sneaking off to the bathroom and then lighting a candle in there afterward really covers up the smell ) MIL will not be allowed to touch my child until she's changed her clothes and washed her hands and face.

 

[Ciciwoowoo]

My sweetie stopped smoking shortly after our son was born. He has switched to e-cigs and has saved quite a bit of money! He makes his own e-juice, and he's even started to sell it to others because he has found he is quite talented!

He will be the first to admit that smoking is a very costly habit, and he is so glad that he quit!

 

[Ciciwoowoo]

My son's day care workers smoked outside on breaks, but I could smell it on their clothes. My son was sick constantly for his first year with allergic symptoms. I realized why this was happening and quit working. He stopped being sick almost instantly. He was still exposed to plenty of germs through his school age older siblings, but not any smoke. I know it's not like SIDS, but he was on breathing treatments and negatively affected.

Debbie, I used to work at a daycare center, and I am not refuting what you are saying about the caregiver smoking on breaks, but I do know that generally most children are sick their first few years of daycare. It is because they are exposed to so many different things from the other kids.

The good news is, they will have really great immune systems when they get into elementary school!!!

I personally think caregivers should not be smoking because, yes, it is on their clothes, and especially with the little ones, it can be easily transferred or inhaled by the children in their care. But, I am not a smoker. My opinion may be (is) biased.

 

[torinsmom]

Debbie, I used to work at a daycare center, and I am not refuting what you are saying about the caregiver smoking on breaks, but I do know that generally most children are sick their first few years of daycare. It is because they are exposed to so many different things from the other kids.

The good news is, they will have really great immune systems when they get into elementary school!!!

I personally think caregivers should not be smoking because, yes, it is on their clothes, and especially with the little ones, it can be easily transferred or inhaled by the children in their care. But, I am not a smoker. My opinion may be (is) biased.

That could be true, but her child may also be sensitive to the chemicals in cigarette smoke. I can't be around someone smoking and have a lot of trouble even being close to someone who has been smoking. My eyes water and my nose gets congested. I react the same way to severe dust and cats I have not been around. Since caregivers put infants right up against their clothes, that could set off a reaction.

 

[csharpwv]

OP - I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU!

I am so tired of hearing people say how 'rough' they have it - yet they are burning up cash in the form of smoking!

If you don't have much cash, don't burn what you do have!

 

[tlbwriter]

Well, since you asked that she did live with her mother smoking belies her fear of SIDS caused by her mom's smoking, doesn't it?

I don't understand. You're saying that because she lived, that means she wasn't at a higher risk of SIDS due to her mom smoking?

 

[TinkPirateMom]

I am not a smoker. My parents were when I was young but when my younger sister started getting sick and the pediatrician told my parents it was due to them smoking in the home they both quit. It took my Mom longer than my Dad, but she did kick it.

My FIL has been smoking for 40+ years. He has had 4 heart attacks and other health issues. Yet he did not quit. I was never one to judge smokers. I don't like the smell of it and was happy when I could leave a restaurant/bar without smelling like smoke once the law was passed here, but I just thought everyone has their vices and even some sort of bad habit (my diet is seriously horrendous and I can't seem to get it together even for health reasons). I never thought it was selfish to smoke until....last Monday I sat in a hospital waiting room for 15 hours with my husband as his father had a huge tumor removed from his throat. He has to go in for another surgery because the cancer has spread to lymph nodes. He has a feeding tube because he cannot swallow. My husband is emotionally drained from worry and caring for his father. Yet, FIL smoked a cigarette the morning we picked him up to take him to surgery. DH is paying to have his father's home totally cleaned not by a maid service but by a service that comes in to clean homes after fires and hurricane damage. He is trying to reduce the smoke smell as much as possible to make quitting easier for his Dad. I hope it works. Now I see the impact smoking can have

 

[katrina1122]

I totally agree. This reminded me of something I saw last Friday.

A couple of homeless men live under an overpass that I drive by every day to work. They keep all their stuff in bags and tie them on to their bicycles so they can get around the city and keep it all safe. I think that makes perfect sense. What got me though, was that one was walking his bike walking talking on a cell phone and smoking.

I appreciate that money is tight, I really do and totally see how easy it is to lose your home right now. DH was on unemployment until he was cutoff and we barely made our mortgage payment. But if you are so bad off you are living under an overpass, how are you affording cigarettes (ok maybe bumming them) and a cell phone? It really upset me. I donate to food banks, etc, but I actually double thought it because of that.

Am I wrong on thinking this?

 

[tlbwriter]

I totally agree. This reminded me of something I saw last Friday.

A couple of homeless men live under an overpass that I drive by every day to work. They keep all their stuff in bags and tie them on to their bicycles so they can get around the city and keep it all safe. I think that makes perfect sense. What got me though, was that one was walking his bike walking talking on a cell phone and smoking.

I appreciate that money is tight, I really do and totally see how easy it is to lose your home right now. DH was on unemployment until he was cutoff and we barely made our mortgage payment. But if you are so bad off you are living under an overpass, how are you affording cigarettes (ok maybe bumming them) and a cell phone? It really upset me. I donate to food banks, etc, but I actually double thought it because of that.

Am I wrong on thinking this?

Too many unknowns.

Smoking. Yes, it's expensive. But it's an addiction, and quitting an addiction is extremely stressful. Would you be able to do it under the additional stress of being homeless?

Cell phones. If this guy is looking for a job, he's got to have a way for people to contact him. I'm not going to say he doesn't need donations simply because he manages to scrape up enough for a prepaid cell phone. But then, I never give directly to people anyway.

 

[SDSorority]

 

[angierae]

I totally agree. This reminded me of something I saw last Friday.

A couple of homeless men live under an overpass that I drive by every day to work. They keep all their stuff in bags and tie them on to their bicycles so they can get around the city and keep it all safe. I think that makes perfect sense. What got me though, was that one was walking his bike walking talking on a cell phone and smoking.

I appreciate that money is tight, I really do and totally see how easy it is to lose your home right now. DH was on unemployment until he was cutoff and we barely made our mortgage payment. But if you are so bad off you are living under an overpass, how are you affording cigarettes (ok maybe bumming them) and a cell phone? It really upset me. I donate to food banks, etc, but I actually double thought it because of that.

Am I wrong on thinking this?

I believe that some shelters/organizations actually give donated pre-paid phones to homeless people looking for work.

 

[Angie_T]

My mom has ALWAYS been a smoker. She watches my kids during the day. She smokes outside in my driveway. My kids are now getting to an age that they wonder what Grandma is doing out there.

She is in terrible health and yet still will not quit smoking. She almost died from pneumonia a couple of years ago. She's only 51 years old. Her only income is what I pay her to watch my kids. We pay for her car and she stays at our house all week. No smoking in her car, no smoking in my house. I still smell the smoke on her clothes when she comes back in my house.

I wish there was a way to make her stop but it will probably kill her. I understand it is an addiction but really? You almost DIED? Is it worth it? I've tried everything to convince her.

 

[mickeygaga]

I think we will be hearing A LOT more about the negative effects of third hand smoke in the near future. Some hospitals in Indy are now going to prohibit smoking entirely. Smokers will not be able to smoke on breaks or even off property. Workers are not to report to work with any hint of cigarette use on them due to third hand smoke concerns. I hope this becomes the norm at every hospital.

 

[Debbie7452]

That could be true, but her child may also be sensitive to the chemicals in cigarette smoke. I can't be around someone smoking and have a lot of trouble even being close to someone who has been smoking. My eyes water and my nose gets congested. I react the same way to severe dust and cats I have not been around. Since caregivers put infants right up against their clothes, that could set off a reaction.

Yes, I meant he was allergic to the smoke and sensitive to the point of needing breathing treatments. After we left, he still got exposed to school illnesses but did not get sick anymore. It was unbelievable how much heathier he was.

 

[mrsklamc]

I think we will be hearing A LOT more about the negative effects of third hand smoke in the near future. Some hospitals in Indy are now going to prohibit smoking entirely. Smokers will not be able to smoke on breaks or even off property. Workers are not to report to work with any hint of cigarette use on them due to third hand smoke concerns. I hope this becomes the norm at every hospital.

Me too! After a 5 hour surgery for cancer, puking because they gave me pain meds on an empty stomach, I got the last thing I needed- a nurse who reeked of smoke! Smokers can't smell themselves & don't realize how awfully it clings to them.

 

[disneymagicgirl]

He spends roughly 160.00 to 200.00 a month on them....that's a small car payment, almost enough to pay for our Disney vacation, a travel trailer payment, braces for a child....etc. Maybe I'll start saving that much a month and then at the end of the year I'll splurge on me something nice and when he ask I'll explain it's my 'smoking money' LOL

This is how I justify upgrading our vacation to whatever I desire each year.
My DH doesn't smoke, but he spends way more money on stuff for him than I do on stuff for me each month...gym membership, protein powder, and alcohol. I don't have any monthly habits...I skip the wine when we go out to eat, don't get manicures, and die my own hair. He splurges and I pinch pennies. It all adds up....to my vacation!!

That poster's demands of her mother were extreme and controlling...and it's surprising she didn't also make her mom wash her hair before touching the baby.

Not a bad idea...maybe she should require a full shower first. Smoking is disguisting...wouldn't want it around my baby either. We own 2 rental properties and refuse to rent to smokers! They try to pretend they aren't smokers, but I always know...b/c they look like it and smell like it!

the quoted poster still won't bring her son to grandma's home.

Unless she moved, the house still reeks!

My mom has ALWAYS been a smoker. She watches my kids during the day. She smokes outside in my driveway. My kids are now getting to an age that they wonder what Grandma is doing out there.

She is in terrible health and yet still will not quit smoking. She almost died from pneumonia a couple of years ago. She's only 51 years old. Her only income is what I pay her to watch my kids. We pay for her car and she stays at our house all week. No smoking in her car, no smoking in my house. I still smell the smoke on her clothes when she comes back in my house.

I wish there was a way to make her stop but it will probably kill her. I understand it is an addiction but really? You almost DIED? Is it worth it? I've tried everything to convince her.

Maybe you need to follow suit to the OP!

I think we will be hearing A LOT more about the negative effects of third hand smoke in the near future. Some hospitals in Indy are now going to prohibit smoking entirely. Smokers will not be able to smoke on breaks or even off property. Workers are not to report to work with any hint of cigarette use on them due to third hand smoke concerns. I hope this becomes the norm at every hospital.

I'm a nurse, and all 3 of the hospitals I have worked at in have been nonsmoking facilities...that means patients, staff, and visitors cannot smoke anywhere on campus. You would be shocked how many new mom's (I do OB) will hide in the bathrooms in their rooms and sneak a smoke. Like we won't notice!