PSA 2day...if you smoke, don't whine that you're BROKE!!! minivent

[sissy_ib]

This sounds like my aunt and uncle. They smoke and drink and get new tattoos about once a year, yet my aunt is always complaining about money. She just posted on facebook asking where to get cheep school clothes for the kids and I called her out about the tattoo she has that is less than 4 months old. (not bashing tattoos I have some, but I also don't have kids I cant afford to clothe) If you can drop that much money on stupid crap and then say you cant afford school clothes you are a bad parent. Sorry. My cousin had breathing problems for years yet they still smoked in the house. It is a sad situation.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Props to you! My kids have 2 grandparents that smoke, and it's a constant struggle to keep them from sneaking smokes around the kids. Smokers are the most disrespectful people around. My MIL even disconnected the smoke detector in the guest room so she wouldn't have to go outside to smoke. I only discovered it because once she forgot to reconnect it. We always assumed the room smelled like smoke because of her clothing, not that she was just defying our rules. Stick to your guns!

You need hardwired smoke detectors - and the kind they use in airplane bathrooms, that will signal cigarette smoke and not just thick, fire-related smoke. Or high ceilings so she can't reach the existing smoke detector.

And a tent in Your back yard so they can smoke in their 'room'.

 

[mrsklamc]

Even if there is no medical connection, it's still down right gross.

Exactly. There are lots of things that probably aren't dangerous that I still wouldn't expose a baby to just because it's disgusting.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Can we assume you smoke? I don't see her 'demands' of her mother as extreme at all. The woman wants to keep her child healthy and smokers STINK!! Her house, her child, her rules.

You can assume that I never made demands of my parents, both of whom smoked, while they were alive. My dad quit smoking after he had a heart attack and lived another ten years, and my mom quit after being diagnosed with bronchitis and died of something entirely unrelated twenty-something years later.

Refuse to let your parent smoke in your house or around your child? Great. They're your house and your child. Refuse to 'allow' your parent to smoke outside your house? Eh... big gray area. Demanding your parent change clothes before touching your child based on a completely irrational and unconnected fear? Extreme.

 

[mrsklamc]

Demanding your parent change clothes before touching your child based on a completely irrational and unconnected fear? Extreme.

She never directly stated that the changing clothes had to do with SIDS. Non smokers are repulsed by the smell of cigarettes on others. It's just being a caring parent not to subject your child to it when they aren't old enough to object themselves.

 

[mpls_mm]

I think some smokers use the rationale that since none of their kids died from SIDS and turned out fine it is okay to smoke around kids. My MIL is the same way, she swears she never smokes around the kids and I can smell it on them but she swears it's my imagination. Every now and then we bust her, smoking in the car with the windows rolled up (hers was cracked so it was okay) holding a baby while smoking (she was standing next to open window, so it was okay). We just have come to the conclusion she thinks it's ok and she is ok with lying about it. Yes, her kids turned out fine, yes they all smoke now too, but that must be unrelated and yes she is still alive so it can't be that dangerous. But my house, my rules.

 

[labdogs42]

Nothing in there about SIDS - which is what the PP was specifically questioning.

No, she mentioned a few other things, too. But, it really doesn't matter what the research says, if she doesn't want someone smoking or wearing stinky smoky clothes around her baby, that's her prerogative.

I grew up in a house of smokers and I now have asthma and severe allergies. Luckily, most of my family had quit by the time I had my son, but those that had not knew better than to ask to smoke in my house. My lungs react to the scent of cigarette smoke, it is one of my asthma triggers now. So, I think keeping the baby safe from smoke and its smell makes a ton of sense.

As for the OP, I hear you loud and clear. I don't get it when I hear moms with weekly manicures and a pack of smokes in their hand complaining about the cost of their kids' clothes or school supplies. Makes me crazy!

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Can I rant about many of the things that parents spend their money on therefore not being able to pay for their kids...smoking is just one of them. I'm tired of being asked to donate money at the beginning of the school year and Christmas so the same families can buy their kids presents and chool supplies when both parents smoke, don't have jobs and have nicer cel phones that cost more than my first car. I'm tired a single mom in my DDs class that can't afford to pay for school supplies but has a great wardrobe...for herself. The family that takes nice vacations every year but complains to anyone that will listen that they don't know how they are going to pay for their mortgage. I really don't care if you smoke, drink, have nice and wonderful exerything as long as you take care of your kids first and not complain and/or expect others to help pay because you choose to spend your money on your selfish needs.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

No, she mentioned a few other things, too. But, it really doesn't matter what the research says, if she doesn't want someone smoking or wearing stinky smoky clothes around her baby, that's her prerogative.

I grew up in a house of smokers and I now have asthma and severe allergies. Luckily, most of my family had quit by the time I had my son, but those that had not knew better than to ask to smoke in my house. My lungs react to the scent of cigarette smoke, it is one of my asthma triggers now. So, I think keeping the baby safe from smoke and its smell makes a ton of sense.

As for the OP, I hear you loud and clear. I don't get it when I hear moms with weekly manicures and a pack of smokes in their hand complaining about the cost of their kids' clothes or school supplies. Makes me crazy!

I hear you on this only it's my MIL. She has acrylic nails and gets them filled ever 2 weeks, gets her hair done weekly, drinks like a fish and calls my husband every month in tears because she can't afford food. HELLO

 

[crashbb]

No, she mentioned a few other things, too. But, it really doesn't matter what the research says, if she doesn't want someone smoking or wearing stinky smoky clothes around her baby, that's her prerogative.

I grew up in a house of smokers and I now have asthma and severe allergies. Luckily, most of my family had quit by the time I had my son, but those that had not knew better than to ask to smoke in my house. My lungs react to the scent of cigarette smoke, it is one of my asthma triggers now. So, I think keeping the baby safe from smoke and its smell makes a ton of sense.

As for the OP, I hear you loud and clear. I don't get it when I hear moms with weekly manicures and a pack of smokes in their hand complaining about the cost of their kids' clothes or school supplies. Makes me crazy!

Wrong PP. Here are the relevant posts.

I found several reliable sites - WebMD, Mayo Clinic, one specific to SIDS... - that, after several other possible causes, first place maternal smoking during pregnancy as a greater risk than any secondhand smoke after birth; but I couldn't find anything that even hinted at clothing with a smoke smell possibly being a cause. All due respect, what you're calling tough love I'd call extorting.

This is quoted and the a link is provided.

It's called third hand smoke...here you go:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/12/081229105037.htm

Here is my comment. The PP I'm referencing is the one that was quoted by the poster whom I quoted. Note, that she is specifically questioning the link between third hand smoking and SIDS.

Nothing in there about SIDS - which is what the PP was specifically questioning.

I don't disagree with your point that people are allowed to make whatever rules they feel like making, but your correction of my post was incorrect.

 

[yeahdisney]

I think the medication brand ch--t-x is being offered after June to have a coupon at the pharmacies to help stop smoking making it freeish for some insurances ask your doctor or your pharmacist. Unsure which summer months or if the rest of the year months were offered too. Heard it in passing a drug rep. Anyone else here on the DIS know?

 

[kaytieeldr]

She never directly stated that the changing clothes had to do with SIDS. Non smokers are repulsed by the smell of cigarettes on others. It's just being a caring parent not to subject your child to it when they aren't old enough to object themselves.

Actually, somewhere after she stated that her mother is required to change clothes before she comes over, and that the eight month old has (still) never been allowed in grandma's house, and that grandma has (been forced by the poster to) quit smoking:

Tough love. Do people even understand how awful smoke is for an infants lungs? The incidence of SIDS increases with smoke. Almost all cancers list "smoking" as a risk factor. Smoking around children is blatant child abuse. People are just too selfish to recognize it.

The first condition she mentions is SIDS. All the reliable sites I and another poster found agree smoking is a possible cause - somewhere around the middle/end of the list. Worst among smoking is when the mother smokes during pregnancy (notably missing is second-hand smoke during this period). Following that is exposing the infant to second-hand smoke. Then that poster goes on to list other general - not infant-specific - dangers from second-hand smoke.

Nowhere is there any connection between third-hand smoke particulates and SIDS. It's interesting, too, that despite being forced to quit smoking, the quoted poster still won't bring her son to grandma's home.

 

[mrsklamc]

I think the whole post was a general rant about multiple things that are repulsive about smoking, not a direct "Third hand smoke = SIDS."

And if grandma has only quit smoking in the last 8 months, unless she's moved, the house still reeks.

 

[Figmificent]

Thank you both - but as crashbb already kindly indicated, neither of those sites indicates or implies any even minuscule connection between third-hand smoke particulates and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. No actual cause has been determined for the latter - but while the mother smoking during pregnancy or second-hand smoke during the infant's first year could be contributing factors, or not, particulate residue in hair or clothing aren't. That poster's demands of her mother were extreme and controlling...and it's surprising she didn't also make her mom wash her hair before touching the baby.

Straight from the CDC one:


Secondhand Smoke Causes SIDS

SIDS is the sudden, unexplained, unexpected death of an infant in the first year of life. SIDS is the leading cause of death in otherwise healthy infants.6 Secondhand smoke increases the risk for SIDS.1

Smoking by women during pregnancy increases the risk for SIDS.7
Infants who are exposed to secondhand smoke after birth are also at greater risk for SIDS.1
Chemicals in secondhand smoke appear to affect the brain in ways that interfere with its regulation of infants' breathing.1
Infants who die from SIDS have higher concentrations of nicotine in their lungs and higher levels of cotinine (a biological marker for secondhand smoke exposure) than infants who die from other causes.1

And as far as third-hand smoke, why risk it if you don't have to? I wouldn't allow people to smoke or smell like it near my baby either.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=what-is-third-hand-smoke

 

[Figmificent]

She never directly stated that the changing clothes had to do with SIDS. Non smokers are repulsed by the smell of cigarettes on others. It's just being a caring parent not to subject your child to it when they aren't old enough to object themselves.

This! She said the smoking had a connection to sids, not that smoke smelling clothes... that's just nasty and then it not only gets on her bagy and his things but their furniture and everything as well

 

[torinsmom]

Back in the day, people would never believe that it would be proven that second hand smoke causes cancer, asthma, allergies and can increase the incidence of SIDS. The first I heard about third hand smoke was maybe 2 years ago, so there is a lot more research to be done. When I go into a house where a person smokes daily, the smell makes my eyes water and makes me nauseous. That smell is coming from the toxins in the cigarettes. Those same toxins are on the clothes of smokers. It even comes out of their pores. I am lucky that neither of my parents have ever smoked. I would not let my young child go into a house with those toxins and they would not be allowed to smoke in or near my house either.

 

[Piglet4Ever]

I have alot of extended family who always seem to live pay check to pay check, or without a pay check at all but they are somehow able to buy their cigs with no problem. That is why if we ever get asked for money by them we say no. If they choose to smoke that is there right, but don't expect me to fund it.

 

[Hellothemouse]

I think the medication brand ch--t-x is being offered after June to have a coupon at the pharmacies to help stop smoking making it freeish for some insurances ask your doctor or your pharmacist. Unsure which summer months or if the rest of the year months were offered too. Heard it in passing a drug rep. Anyone else here on the DIS know?

My husband went to the doc, got the script for that drug. Paid a lot of money for it (yes we have pretty good insurance too) used it and it didn't work for him. not only did it not work but the side effects that he had were horrid.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Let me first say that this is not an 'anti-smoking' rant...I don't have the right to tell people to stop smoking. It is, however, a 'if you choose to have kids, take care of your kids' rant.

This family I know has two kids, the wife/mother smokes a pack a day at the least and every time I talk to her- she's complaining CONSTANTLY about how broke they are and how she can't afford to bring her kids school shopping for their 'school list' neccesseties...

I understand. Smoking is a hard habit to break. But, if my kids had to GO WITH OUT or I could not afford to buy them things for school- I would GO WITHOUT to provide for them!!! They live in a nice neighborhood with newer homes, so yes- I know that they spend a lot on house payments and what ever else. Maybe they can't afford all of the 'nice things' they have...but it's not like they are driving around brand new cars, they've had theirs for a while now.

I think if your kids have to go with out things that THEY NEED, just so you can support a habit or vice that you may have- then maybe you're a crummy parent. This lady will complain about spending $50 on cigs for a week to me and then, turn around and the next day say (HONESTLY, sincerly) that they can't afford the school list (which cost me $18 for each of my girls this year)...

I have a hard time with smoking issues. SOME smokers complain about how broke they are, how expensive things are getting- but they won't get rid of their biggest money waster of all...Smoking costs A LOT. Not just to buy the cigg.s, but in the long run also medical bills and whatever else.

So, my Public service announcement for today is this. If YOU choose to smoke, don't complain to people how broke you are. It's a choice that you make. It is not something you MUST do. (as well as other vices)...And please!!! If you have kids that are GOING WITHOUT THINGS THAT THEY MUST HAVE, just to support your vice, then maybe it's time to get HELP!

I couldn't agree with you more. Dh & I are ex smokers. We quit as a wedding gift to each other 15.5 yrs ago. When they were approaching $20/carton we thought it was appalling, besides being gross & stinky.

We'll never go back. Sadly, it seems it's the people who can least afford it that we usually see smoking: single moms, young people just getting a start, etc. Or maybe your friend just likes to gripe. Some people are like that.

 

[bumbershoot]

The first I heard about third hand smoke was maybe 2 years ago, so there is a lot more research to be done.

Aside from smelling it and being made sick by it, the first I *heard* about it was probably back in '99, when I was talking to a couple women who had worked for Intel making chips. The particles on clothing, skin, and hair from cigarette smoke could contaminate chips, so they tried their best to simply not hire smokers, but if you somehow made it in, you had to completely shower and change AND wear the special suits that everyone else wore before going into the chip-making rooms.

If it can damage an inanimate object like a computer chip.....