Being kind to myself this weekend - tonight! Bookclub! First, a girl scout outing with my troop & DD and a complicated lacrosse practice carpool for my DS, but once I get everyone dropped off at home with DH, I get to escape! First Friday of the month is always bookclub.
- Way to go - enjoy!
I am very crabby this morning which means I will take it out on myself instead of others. Days that I feel skinny I tend to be kinder to myself. The voice is also very hard on me when it comes to work. I always feel like I am not doing a good enough job. I am and work tells me that all the time but I know I can always do better.
Weight can be such an influence on how we thing of and treat ourselves. I am sure you do a great job! But I get how you feel.
This weekend is going to be really busy. My husbands grandmother is selling her house and moving hopefully to a condo. We need to help her get the house ready so the realtor can take pictures and put it up for sell. She has lived in the house for over 50 years. She lives in a bad part of Cleveland so it is time to get out and go to a place that is a little safer. It is just us here to help her since my husbands mom moved about 1-2 hours away and pretty much told me she is our problem. SO tonight we are going over to take some stuff out to the curb because tomorrow is trash day and then tomorrow we will be there all day going through things. On top of that we my son has karate and my daughter has vision therapy. I will be driving back and forth throughout the day. I see a lot of these weekends in my future until she is finally moved into a new place and hopefully closer to us. She is only about 20 minutes away now put it would be nice if she was only a few minutes away so it would be easier to check in on her. She is only 76 and in pretty good health but has bad shoulders so it will also help to have her close just in case she needs help with something.
Oh that is great that you are stepping up to help DH's grandmother - I hope she finds something nearby to make it easier and safer! I know when my Aunty was starting to ail - she was just too far away (about 2 and a half 3 hrs) for us to help effectively - that was really hard on my Mum (it was her sister).
So I think I figured out what my challenge will be. I have been getting a lot of compliments about how I look since I got my hair done about a week ago. I need to really except the compliments. I usually just say Thank you and not think about it or let it sink in. I don't always think I look great so really believing what people are telling me will help build my confidence.
Great! I remember when my kids were young - we were at a Drs for some reason (I can't remember) and he complimented me on the kids - I brushed it off with "Oh I'm lucky they are just good kids" - he pulled me up and told me I needed to accept the compliment, that I had a lot to do with it and that there will be plenty of people ready to tell me when the kids/or I aren't behaving/doing well! That kind of stuck with a little bit and I try to be better with compliments.
My inner voice is evil lately. I am horrible to myself at times. Which is sort of ironic, because people tell me all the time how I am so nice, and yet I am horrible to myself. I beat myself up constantly, and then go running for the snack cabinet, which I beat myself up for and then return. I had gotten way better about this so I am not sure where the resurgence of the mean inner voice is coming from. I don't take compliments well, I never have. I think when I was younger they made me uncomfortable, so I brushed them off, which slowly led me to never believe them.
I bet you are very nice
I wonder what has changed in your life lately that has turned the voice so angry.
so my son and I started a new thing where I drive him to school and we grab breakfast on the way to spend some time together. Today he wanted a donut, so we grabbed one for him and then I went through the McDonald's drive though and got my egg white delight - 1/2 english muffin - only 185 calories! Every Friday I get an egg white delight as a treat to myself for making it through the week.
This is great - its so important to find the little opportunities to spend time with the kids in a busy work week. You know I bet he will remember those school day breakfasts with Dad well into his grown up years
Great to hear your inner voice is working for you.
My internal voice is not kind. It's something I've been aware of for a long time and am working on. If I'm not too far gone I can turn it around, but there are still times when it gets the better of me.
I get this - mine also gets the better of me way more than I would like.
kind" is something that's been on my mind a lot lately, to myself and to others. An example where I'm putting it to use is with something that came up yesterday afternoon at work. My initial reaction was anger and it did take time to work thru it, but this morning I'm going to be able to move thru it calmly, with grace and kindness, and not place blame on myself. Just saying the words "be kind" puts me in a different place, they are quite powerful.
Its great that you are actively working on this - little mantra's or reminders can be so helpful (so long as they are positive lol) I'm glad you were able to turn a bad situation into one you can deal with.
That being said, today is the first day of the juice cleanse so watch out world! I'm having my first bottle right now for breakfast and it isn't doing anything to help curb hunger. Grrrrr....
Ooooh juice cleanse - look out world
but seriously good luck with that.
My inner voice is usually pretty positive. I know I'm not perfect but I'm pretty accepting of who I am physically. Some days the voice is harsh but those days are fewer than the positive days. Based on this challenge I just said no when someone asked me to do something that I really didn't want to do. I'm glad I said no! Thank you for the inspiration to do that!
YEAH! Another person who mostly has their voice working for them.
for saying no .... sometimes that is just so hard! Your welcome - glad it helped.
The inner voice you describe sounds more like mine used to be, I wish I could find it.
You can do this .... it might take a little time but I have faith in you.
Ok now for me. I am mostly kind to others (except if they have done something really bad to me then look out!), I have one of those nurturing, carer type personalities. Trouble with that can be I don't always see people for who they are when they start to show me .... and that has caused me to be hurt a lot over the years. My inner voice - in my younger years I had a pretty good one I think - but over time as life and relationships happened it started to change. I have one that gets my anxiety going .... e.g. why is your heart racing? something must be wrong with you? what could be wrong with you? its probably a heart attack or you have a blood clot and it is blocking a vein, you could die, what will happen to your kids if you die? they won't have anyone to look after them! Pretty horrible right? I have spent years believing this voice - I can fight back a lot better these days than I used to - but there are moments it can get the better of me. The other voice or voices relate to ex's - I have one that tells me I am boring (thanks to ex-husband who told me that because I didn't like to drink to excess) and a number of other things both he and the next long term partner said or did - so my voice tells me I am now alone for any number of those reasons, or that I just wasn't enough for them to want to stay with me/our family. Then there is the voice about my weight - the one that told me to eat to feel better, that then it would be an obvious way to detract any other possible relationships, then tells me that is another reason why I don't date. I have the work voice too - work is super busy and none of us are coping with it particularly well - but that can just be the nature of our job - but it can leave you feeling short a lot.
So, I have worked really hard to overcome the anxiety voice - I can usually talk back to it and calm myself these days. I still am overcoming the ex's voices - whilst they both play a part it is the second one who has done the most damage. It can lead me into depression where I just want to hide from the world (especially as a reaction to things the second ex might me doing now if I hear about it from others). I have told friends not to tell me anything they find out anymore as it just affects me too badly. I feel like I am turning more of a corner lately and realising that all of their rubbish really was just a reflection of them and their issues and I just happened to be the one in the firing line. I am starting to slowly feel more worthy and fight those voices too. Its a process though. Sometimes I try to think would you say that to a friend if they had done the same thing?? Ah no I wouldn't!
I do have to make a definite effort to be kind to myself. So what shall I do the next few days??? They are busy so it will be hard - I am going to get a new book and maybe hide in a bubble bath to read for a while. You have no idea how long it took me to come up with that!
Thank you to everyone for sharing
. I didn't realise I was going to have quite so much to say ... but I started typing and it just came tumbling out - hope its not an overshare
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