Poll: Japanese First Date

[Sultana]

Even some nice girls like sex.

This!!

 

[Tinkermommy]

Remember when your mom said to wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident? That's not really the reason

Too funny.

Reminds me of Bridget Jones when she is deciding to wear the giant girdle to help her look good or the sexy undies incase she gets lucky.

Go for the sexy undies I say! Even if nothing happens they will make you feel like a grown up attractive woman. Skip VS and think La Perla.

 

[mmackeymouse]

Honey, even nice guys like sex. And if they don't - run!

No, I get that. But, on a first date? Ehhh. I think even less prudish people than me acknowledge that going there on a first date is a probably not the best way to snag a quality guy.

Are you are truly embarassed by those comments or are just trying to be cute by pretending to be embarassed? Honestly there's nothing embarassing there. Nothing a 30+ year old would fine even remotely embarassing. I know you lack experience but if you cannot think before you react to mature things like this then you are setting youself up to fail.

I hate to say it but once you get past a certain stage in life men are not going to have too much appreciation for the "Golly Gee aren't I so cute" type of mentality. There's a popular phrase "Fake it till you make it". You need to practice and fake age appropriate responses to certain things so you don't come off as being immature instead of inexperienced.

I am not embarrassed, but yes, my cheeks did get warm and red. Involuntary action. I blush. My cousin will talk about be having a crush on some famous celebrity (even when I really don't, and it's actually become a running joke) and my face turns beet red. I turn beet red in non-guy related instances too.

I wish I could "fake it till I make it." But, even in my career, I just can't do it. I am who I am, and I am how I am, and one of my downfalls is the inability to pretend to be something I'm not (friendly to someone who is nasty to me for example; extroverted, when I am most decidedly not)

And, my Golly gee, aren't I cute? moments are pretty genuine. Not understanding certain euphemisms for example. Getting embarrassed when people make a fuss over me.

But, I have been completely myself with this guy, and he is still interested. So, I'm gonna roll with it. Obviously, I am not going to show up in pigtails, holding a lollipop. But, if I try to seem worldly and experienced (which I actually tried to do on my last date and it bombed terribly by the way) it could backfire.

Remember when your mom said to wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident? That's not really the reason











Sorry, couldn't resist - 31 or not, it's still a first date

This made me laugh. But, if you knew my mom...rofl...trust me she meant the car accident.

 

[nym4588]

Okay. Knowing now that I am speaking to a grown adult, I'm going to comment bluntly with no intent to be cruel or belittle you, merely attempting to deliver some real life advice an adult should have no problem hearing.

You're on the internet, no one can see you. A minimally risque comment shouldn't make you bright red. I refrained from commenting yesterday because I was unsure if you were a teen or an adult playing games to get a rise on the internet. I understand being out of the swing of things on the dating scene, however I have to wonder when it seems like what's being written in general doesn't appear to be coming from an adult perspective. People still gain life experience despite not dating or being in a relationship.

I still don't know if you're playing a part or not, but if you genuinely think a man wants to date a 30 year old who wants to present herself on a teen level, I can guarantee a guy who's looking for a relationship will probably run from that. Act like you're going out with one of your good friends and make conversation from that adult perspective. That's something to build a relationship on.

This is perfect advice. You're putting way too much pressure on yourself, not to mention this guy. Stop analyzing the crap out of it (a poll? Really?), and just go have a good time.

Even if there aren't any sparks, you can potentially still have a nice time, btw. Even if you don't have a romantic connection, you could end up with a new friend.

 

[mmackeymouse]

Too funny.

Reminds me of Bridget Jones when she is deciding to wear the giant girdle to help her look good or the sexy undies incase she gets lucky.

Go for the sexy undies I say! Even if nothing happens they will make you feel like a grown up attractive woman. Skip VS and think La Perla.

Well, I tell ya what. I will wear the sexiest undies I got...which are still probably grandma panties to some people. Actually, I thought VS was the sexy underwear. I had never even heard of LaPerla, until I looked it up. Whoa!

I am wearing a pretty conservative outfit, so I might wear some sexy underwear. But, if I had worn my red dress that I have been dying for an excuse to wear

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/116741815314764866/

Which trust me, it would be girdle time, because I would definitely have to be sucking in some stuff.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

No, I get that. But, on a first date? Ehhh. I think even less prudish people than me acknowledge that going there on a first date is a probably not the best way to snag a quality guy.



I am not embarrassed, but yes, my cheeks did get warm and red. Involuntary action. I blush. My cousin will talk about be having a crush on some famous celebrity (even when I really don't, and it's actually become a running joke) and my face turns beet red. I turn beet red in non-guy related instances too.

I wish I could "fake it till I make it." But, even in my career, I just can't do it. I am who I am, and I am how I am, and one of my downfalls is the inability to pretend to be something I'm not (friendly to someone who is nasty to me for example; extroverted, when I am most decidedly not)

And, my Golly gee, aren't I cute? moments are pretty genuine. Not understanding certain euphemisms for example. Getting embarrassed when people make a fuss over me.

But, I have been completely myself with this guy, and he is still interested. So, I'm gonna roll with it. Obviously, I am not going to show up in pigtails, holding a lollipop. But, if I try to seem worldly and experienced (which I actually tried to do on my last date and it bombed terribly by the way) it could backfire.



This made me laugh. But, if you knew my mom...rofl...trust me she meant the car accident.

It's not about pretending to be something you are not, it's about acting appropriately for your age. You come across as very immature. You need to come across as inexperienced instead. You will not get a man and keep a man if you have reactions that are common among teens not adults.

You are over 30, inexperienced and still living at home. That means what you have been doing is not working to move you past this phase in your life and like I said the "golly gee" thing is not going to work in your favor if you want to have a serious relationship. Golly gee will get you friend zoned.

 

[cabanafrau]

No, I get that. But, on a first date? Ehhh. I think even less prudish people than me acknowledge that going there on a first date is a probably not the best way to snag a quality guy.



I am not embarrassed, but yes, my cheeks did get warm and red. Involuntary action. I blush. My cousin will talk about be having a crush on some famous celebrity (even when I really don't, and it's actually become a running joke) and my face turns beet red. I turn beet red in non-guy related instances too.

I wish I could "fake it till I make it." But, even in my career, I just can't do it. I am who I am, and I am how I am, and one of my downfalls is the inability to pretend to be something I'm not (friendly to someone who is nasty to me for example; extroverted, when I am most decidedly not)

And, my Golly gee, aren't I cute? moments are pretty genuine. Not understanding certain euphemisms for example. Getting embarrassed when people make a fuss over me.

But, I have been completely myself with this guy, and he is still interested. So, I'm gonna roll with it. Obviously, I am not going to show up in pigtails, holding a lollipop. But, if I try to seem worldly and experienced (which I actually tried to do on my last date and it bombed terribly by the way) it could backfire.



This made me laugh. But, if you knew my mom...rofl...trust me she meant the car accident.

It's one thing to know who you are and be who you are and not try to pretend to be something you're not, that's a good thing. But it's something entirely different to know who you are, be uncomfortable with the results of some of it, yet stubbornly refuse to grow because, "I am who I am." That's an intransigent personality, not a confident person comfortable in their shoes.

Stating your concern that your body may shutdown at unfamiliar foods and even in your career you cannot pretend to be what you're not, cannot be friendly to those who are nasty to you, are unfamiliar with certain euphemisms make me question if you are wearing these things like a badge of honor or a protective cloak because you're either afraid to grow or unwilling to compromise. Relationships require both, platonic or romantic ones -- even professional ones. You don't have to change who you are in order to be in a relationship. Trying to be the best you can be is probably a good idea if you're looking for a happy relationship with someone who wants to change and grow and compromise with you. I'm not sure what has you convinced you're stuck ten years back or whatever it is, but time goes on, it's best you move along with it.

 

[NHdisneylover]

It's one thing to know who you are and be who you are and not try to pretend to be something you're not, that's a good thing. But it's something entirely different to know who you are, be uncomfortable with the results of some of it, yet stubbornly refuse to grow because, "I am who I am." That's an intransigent personality, not a confident person comfortable in their shoes.

Stating your concern that your body may shutdown at unfamiliar foods and even in your career you cannot pretend to be what you're not, cannot be friendly to those who are nasty to you, are unfamiliar with certain euphemisms make me question if you are wearing these things like a badge of honor or a protective cloak because you're either afraid to grow or unwilling to compromise. Relationships require both, platonic or romantic ones -- even professional ones. You don't have to change who you are in order to be in a relationship. Trying to be the best you can be is probably a good idea if you're looking for a happy relationship with someone who wants to change and grow and compromise with you. I'm not sure what has you convinced you're stuck ten years back or whatever it is, but time goes on, it's best you move along with it.

Are you sure you haven't been reading all of the OP's threads?! Because you are NAILING it with your advice.

OP, "golly gee!" is not cute or sexy or sweet or desirable at all at your age. You can be inexperienced and still learn about things and learn to recognize euphemisms, etc. Work on growing up so you can be an adult in an adult relationship.

 

[cabanafrau]

Are you sure you haven't been reading all of the OP's threads?! Because you are NAILING it with your advice.

OP, "golly gee!" is not cute or sexy or sweet or desirable at all at your age. You can be inexperienced and still learn about things and learn to recognize euphemisms, etc. Work on growing up so you can be an adult in an adult relationship.

No, I don't think I "know" this poster from anything else. I stink at that. I usually need a photo clue, a name that sticks out or a lot of repetition to clue my brain in. I'm going based on what I've read here, basically what I've listed in my posts.

I actually "know" you from some things over the years, the Germany location, I know you've done the GS thing, etc. Although I think you do have a new avatar now that I've looked!

 

[NHdisneylover]

No, I don't think I "know" this poster from anything else. I stink at that. I usually need a photo clue, a name that sticks out or a lot of repetition to clue my brain in. I'm going based on what I've read here, basically what I've listed in my posts.

I actually "know" you from some things over the years, the Germany location, I know you've done the GS thing, etc. Although I think you do have a new avatar now that I've looked!

It has been the same avatar for 4 or 5 years

This poster has similar dating type issues over and over and always with the very "young teen" feel in her take and reactions to situations--so she is hard to forget if you have come across her posts before

You really are giving spot on advice, I hope OP will listen to you.

 

[mmackeymouse]

Okay, sooooo to get the thread back on a HAPPY tone, because this should be a HAPPY day...

I would like to thank you all for your input, and kind words, and well wishes. I shall try to do you all proud.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Okay, sooooo to get the thread back on a HAPPY tone, because this should be a HAPPY day...

I would like to thank you all for your input, and kind words, and well wishes. I shall try to do you all proud.

I really do hope you have fun on your date (and maybe find a new food or two that you enjoy!)

 

[JanaDee]

Okay, sooooo to get the thread back on a HAPPY tone, because this should be a HAPPY day...

I would like to thank you all for your input, and kind words, and well wishes. I shall try to do you all proud.

You need to make yourself proud, not anyone else.

 

[NaLisa]

OP, you've received some excellent advise here and I hope you take heed. It can get you where you want to be in life and love.

The "fake it til you make it" advice resonated with me. When I was about the same age as you, I was going through a divorce, feeling very lonely and down, and convinced I might never find the right one or have a family. I realized that projecting what I was feeling on the inside to the outside world was going to keep me in that rut. I would force myself to go places, be with people, try new things, and date guys who weren't exactly what I had in mind as a Prince Charming. Before going out, I would psych myself up at home or in the car, listening to upbeat music and singing and dancing along until I felt "fun" and came across that way. I can remember several people remarking that I was always upbeat and smiling, when in truth I didn't feel that way 90 percent of the time. But those comments helped me feel upbeat and confident, motivated me to keep moving forward on the path away from depression and made me feel and act more appealing as a friend or romantic interest. Eventually what I felt on the inside matched what I projected on the outside.

Hope your date goes well.

 

[Sultana]

Why not wear the red dress? It is pretty cute!

 

[mmackeymouse]

Why not wear the red dress? It is pretty cute!

Well, it seems a bit much for a casual an encounter, wouldn't you think? Plus, with a dress like that, I'd feel obligated to wear heels, and....probably not the best idea. I am barely functional in heels in normal weather. In snow and ice?

I was just planning on a Lands End cotton dress, cardigan, and flats.

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys. I wiped out in the driveway this morning, so I have a lovely battle scar on my left shin which I am sure will be very attractive.

The red dress, I actually ordered 2 sizes small for something to fit into, "someday" Imagine my surprise when it actually fit. I mean, it's pretty tight, but still looks good. It is a very bootylicious dress, I'll just say that much. So, I think it may be a little much for a first date. But, I could be wrong!

 

[Liberty Belle]

Even some nice girls like sex.

That, too.

 

[Liberty Belle]

No, I get that. But, on a first date? Ehhh. I think even less prudish people than me acknowledge that going there on a first date is a probably not the best way to snag a quality guy.



I am not embarrassed, but yes, my cheeks did get warm and red. Involuntary action. I blush. My cousin will talk about be having a crush on some famous celebrity (even when I really don't, and it's actually become a running joke) and my face turns beet red. I turn beet red in non-guy related instances too.

I wish I could "fake it till I make it." But, even in my career, I just can't do it. I am who I am, and I am how I am, and one of my downfalls is the inability to pretend to be something I'm not (friendly to someone who is nasty to me for example; extroverted, when I am most decidedly not)

And, my Golly gee, aren't I cute? moments are pretty genuine. Not understanding certain euphemisms for example. Getting embarrassed when people make a fuss over me.

But, I have been completely myself with this guy, and he is still interested. So, I'm gonna roll with it. Obviously, I am not going to show up in pigtails, holding a lollipop. But, if I try to seem worldly and experienced (which I actually tried to do on my last date and it bombed terribly by the way) it could backfire.



This made me laugh. But, if you knew my mom...rofl...trust me she meant the car accident.

No, but it doesn't mean most guys wouldn't be happy if it happened.

 

[cabanafrau]

It has been the same avatar for 4 or 5 years

This poster has similar dating type issues over and over and always with the very "young teen" feel in her take and reactions to situations--so she is hard to forget if you have come across her posts before

You really are giving spot on advice, I hope OP will listen to you.

Yeah, I was dead on in saying I stink at remembering who posts what for the most part!


I see her recent comments about wanting the thread on a happier note, so I think that's my cue to butt out.

If you happen to read this, OP, don't worry a minute about what cabanafrau thinks, she's just some nobody on the internet you don't even know. Better to spend your time thinking about what you really want and how you might best achieve that, no matter what anybody thinks.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Well, it seems a bit much for a casual an encounter, wouldn't you think? Plus, with a dress like that, I'd feel obligated to wear heels, and....probably not the best idea. I am barely functional in heels in normal weather. In snow and ice?

I was just planning on a Lands End cotton dress, cardigan, and flats.

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys. I wiped out in the driveway this morning, so I have a lovely battle scar on my left shin which I am sure will be very attractive.

The red dress, I actually ordered 2 sizes small for something to fit into, "someday" Imagine my surprise when it actually fit. I mean, it's pretty tight, but still looks good. It is a very bootylicious dress, I'll just say that much. So, I think it may be a little much for a first date. But, I could be wrong!

Do you have a picture of it (it doesn't have to be with you in it)?

Really, though, you should wear something that makes you feel comfortable, but sexy/beautiful at the same time. Wear some sexy underwear. Yeah, he won't see it, but it will make you feel sexy and that will show.