Poll: Japanese First Date

[cabanafrau]

Based on previous posts I think she is in her mid to late 20s.

Whoops. Wasn't trying to be a jerk.

Stayed out of this thread yesterday because I didn't want to tread on anyone's toes & now I stomped in anyway. Meant no harm.

 

[skatalite]

Whoops. Wasn't trying to be a jerk.

Stayed out of this thread yesterday because I didn't want to tread on anyone's toes & now I stomped in anyway. Meant no harm.

Nah, you're not a jerk and nothing you said came across that way.

mmackeymouse is, I believe, 31. For some reason I remember reading that somewhere.

 

[mmackeymouse]

I voted other. I would never eat on a first date. Too much of a time commitment if the guy turns out to be a jerk, you're stuck. Plus you don't have to worry about food getting stuck in your teeth, something not agreeing with you, etc. What about meeting up for coffee, or drinks instead???

I'm totally with you there, sister. Sharing a meal is not my first choice of first date. BUT...

He offered to plan everything. And then when he asked about Japanese, he said "I know dinner is kind of boring, but for you, I am trying to come up with something creative for after dinner." Well...heck.

That was part of the reason it was hard for me to say "No" to Japanese. I mean...when a guy wants to be the guy and wants to do the planning....gosh, I feel like a real heel to not be grateful for that.

Guess you don't have high hopes on this guy, huh?

Aww, don't take it that way. Just trying to keep things light, and set the bar low, so as not to put too much pressure on this date.

At best, maybe it will develop something. At worst, I have gotten some dating experience under my belt and will be prepared for next time. Or something in between.

I'm pretty sure this is a teen poster from reading the OP and the advice being asked for.

Nope, I am not a teenager. Just an inexperienced adult with a first date, who hasn't had a first date in a long while, almost 10 years, trying to get back into the swing of things.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Whoops. Wasn't trying to be a jerk.

Stayed out of this thread yesterday because I didn't want to tread on anyone's toes & now I stomped in anyway. Meant no harm.

Your post was not rude and did not make you sound like a jerk. It was an honest reaction to how the OP sounded, totally understandable.

 

[Sultana]

He offered to plan everything. And then when he asked about Japanese, he said "I know dinner is kind of boring, but for you, I am trying to come up with something creative for after dinner." Well...heck.

They all have something "creative" in mind for after dinner, but this is the first time I see it described in such a "poetic" way!

 

[mmackeymouse]

They all have something "creative" in mind for after dinner, but this is the first time I see it described in such a "poetic" way!

Oh my gosh!

I am bright red right now.

He seems like a nice guy, so I don't think that's what he meant, but I'll let you know.

 

[NaLisa]

They all have something "creative" in mind for after dinner, but this is the first time I see it described in such a "poetic" way!

Full disclosure--back in my single days, I was hoping those early dates would go well enough that I'd want to get "creative" afterward. Men aren't the only ones who appreciate creativity!

 

[cabanafrau]

Oh my gosh!

I am bright red right now.

He seems like a nice guy, so I don't think that's what he meant, but I'll let you know.

Okay. Knowing now that I am speaking to a grown adult, I'm going to comment bluntly with no intent to be cruel or belittle you, merely attempting to deliver some real life advice an adult should have no problem hearing.

You're on the internet, no one can see you. A minimally risque comment shouldn't make you bright red. I refrained from commenting yesterday because I was unsure if you were a teen or an adult playing games to get a rise on the internet. I understand being out of the swing of things on the dating scene, however I have to wonder when it seems like what's being written in general doesn't appear to be coming from an adult perspective. People still gain life experience despite not dating or being in a relationship.

I still don't know if you're playing a part or not, but if you genuinely think a man wants to date a 30 year old who wants to present herself on a teen level, I can guarantee a guy who's looking for a relationship will probably run from that. Act like you're going out with one of your good friends and make conversation from that adult perspective. That's something to build a relationship on.

 

[MIGrandma]

I've never had Japanese food, but would definitely be willing to try it. I love trying new foods. You never know if you'll like it until you try it.

Reminds me of my Mom, I was eating Chinese food one time and she looked at it and wrinkled up her nose. I asked her if she'd ever tried it before. She said, "well, no." I said "how do you know you don't like it until you try it?" So she tried it. She LOVES Chinese food now!!

So, I would say go have some Japanese food on your date and have a good time. I can't imagine there wouldn't be something on the menu that you would like.

 

[Wendy31]

Okay. Knowing now that I am speaking to a grown adult, I'm going to comment bluntly with no intent to be cruel or belittle you, merely attempting to deliver some real life advice an adult should have no problem hearing.

You're on the internet, no one can see you. A minimally risque comment shouldn't make you bright red. I refrained from commenting yesterday because I was unsure if you were a teen or an adult playing games to get a rise on the internet. I understand being out of the swing of things on the dating scene, however I have to wonder when it seems like what's being written in general doesn't appear to be coming from an adult perspective. People still gain life experience despite not dating or being in a relationship.

I still don't know if you're playing a part or not, but if you genuinely think a man wants to date a 30 year old who wants to present herself on a teen level, I can guarantee a guy who's looking for a relationship will probably run from that. Act like you're going out with one of your good friends and make conversation from that adult perspective. That's something to build a relationship on.

I agree, & I think this is good advice.

You can't approach this date like a 16 year old on her first date. It's just not the same.

You're an adult w/ conceivably adult experiences (as benign & as innocent as those experiences may be) that have shaped who you are now.

You're an adult meeting a friend at a new-to-you restaurant. Have fun w/ it & don't assign too much importance and/or significance to everything you say & wear & do & everything he says & wears & does.

And, regarding the restaurant - you'll be fine! I think that every adult can find *something* they like at just about every restaurant in America.

And you tell the guy, "I've never had Japanese, but that sounds fun!"

 

[Liberty Belle]

They all have something "creative" in mind for after dinner, but this is the first time I see it described in such a "poetic" way!

Oh my gosh!

I am bright red right now.

He seems like a nice guy, so I don't think that's what he meant, but I'll let you know.

Honey, even nice guys like sex. And if they don't - run!

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Oh my gosh!

I am bright red right now.

He seems like a nice guy, so I don't think that's what he meant, but I'll let you know.

Are you are truly embarassed by those comments or are just trying to be cute by pretending to be embarassed? Honestly there's nothing embarassing there. Nothing a 30+ year old would fine even remotely embarassing. I know you lack experience but if you cannot think before you react to mature things like this then you are setting youself up to fail.

I hate to say it but once you get past a certain stage in life men are not going to have too much appreciation for the "Golly Gee aren't I so cute" type of mentality. There's a popular phrase "Fake it till you make it". You need to practice and fake age appropriate responses to certain things so you don't come off as being immature instead of inexperienced.

 

[JanaDee]

Honey, even nice guys like sex. And if they don't - run!

Even some nice girls like sex.

 

[skatalite]

Even some nice girls like sex.

 

[aaarcher86]

Hahahahahaha that sloth. So perfect.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Oh my gosh!

I am bright red right now.

He seems like a nice guy, so I don't think that's what he meant, but I'll let you know.

Remember when your mom said to wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident? That's not really the reason









Sorry, couldn't resist - 31 or not, it's still a first date

 

[usnuzuloose]

Do you know the name of the place? If so you can look it up and check it out.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Okay. Knowing now that I am speaking to a grown adult, I'm going to comment bluntly with no intent to be cruel or belittle you, merely attempting to deliver some real life advice an adult should have no problem hearing.

You're on the internet, no one can see you. A minimally risque comment shouldn't make you bright red. I refrained from commenting yesterday because I was unsure if you were a teen or an adult playing games to get a rise on the internet. I understand being out of the swing of things on the dating scene, however I have to wonder when it seems like what's being written in general doesn't appear to be coming from an adult perspective. People still gain life experience despite not dating or being in a relationship.

I still don't know if you're playing a part or not, but if you genuinely think a man wants to date a 30 year old who wants to present herself on a teen level, I can guarantee a guy who's looking for a relationship will probably run from that. Act like you're going out with one of your good friends and make conversation from that adult perspective. That's something to build a relationship on.

This is excellent advice for the OP

 

[NHdisneylover]

Are you are truly embarassed by those comments or are just trying to be cute by pretending to be embarassed? Honestly there's nothing embarassing there. Nothing a 30+ year old would fine even remotely embarassing. I know you lack experience but if you cannot think before you react to mature things like this then you are setting youself up to fail.

I hate to say it but once you get past a certain stage in life men are not going to have too much appreciation for the "Golly Gee aren't I so cute" type of mentality. There's a popular phrase "Fake it till you make it". You need to practice and fake age appropriate responses to certain things so you don't come off as being immature instead of inexperienced.

More excellent advice

 

[JanaDee]