Parents, Please Control your Children

[starjazz]

Yikes, you would think that maybe they could put ropes around the piano/player during the performance? Nothing fancy, just something that is obviously a barrier?

Good idea. Maybe even a big stage and darkened auditorium, so its well known that this is one individual's performance to be enjoyed quietly, but at the very least, a barrier. Otherwise, it might get confused with the MANY other performances in which the kids are actually ENCOURAGED to participate.

 

[mshanson3121]

The level of judgement on this thread against a child, is absolutely mind-boggling, and wow, would I love to see how many of you have children that were 100% perfectly behaved, every single second of the day. Several expressions come to mind, not the least of which is those in glass houses.... But anyways.

I think the points on the expectations and how lines are blurred at Disney is very real. I think that if Disney was REALLY serious about not having children come up to the performers, they'd have ropes across. How many times in Disney do children encounter characters in costumes actively engaging the children, inviting them in, to participate? I can easily see how it becomes difficult for a young child to know when not to. Should the parents have intervened? Yes. But the fact that they didn't is NOT the child's fault, nor does it mean the child is an undisciplined brat. So, stop passing judgement and writing him off as undisciplined, obnoxious, bratty, just based on one chance encounter, with which none of us know the full details. Instead, you'd better take a look in the mirror. You've got a few faults of your own.

 

[dwheaton]

Wow. So much preaching and judging going on in this thread. I'm 40 years old and can definitely say that kids were not well-behaved when i was a kid. Maybe it was great further back? As a parent with two girls (6 and 2), it's definitely our responsibility to keep our kids from acting poorly and to teach them what's the right behavior. That said, I've found that it's very easy to judge when you aren't aware of the actual experience of the parents. Saying that kids were well-behaved in the past and aren't now is just way too simplistic.

 

[summerw]

This is purely speculation on my part, but I have the feeling that many people say that "it's fine" are just saying it to avoid the issue. My guess is it was not fine... I have done this myself to avoid confrontation/embarrassment.

Many people (like my uncle) would start going through their drawers or closets with him so I guess that could be the case with some but not all. However, I'm not sure how it's "avoiding confrontation" to disagree with a parent who's telling her kid to stop something. Wouldn't my calling out the behavior be initiating the confrontation or embarrassment for my kid? If you mean for yourself, why say it's fine if the parent is trying to stop it and you don't like it? Aren't you actually making it potentially more uncomfortable for yourself because then the parent might allow the kid to continue, therefore embarrassing you more? I hope this post didn't come off feisty, I'm just really trying to understand how it helps anyone in the situation (especially yourself) if you disagree with the parent.

 

[DisDadDVC]

The level of judgement on this thread against a child, is absolutely mind-boggling, and wow, would I love to see how many of you have children that were 100% perfectly behaved, every single second of the day. Several expressions come to mind, not the least of which is those in glass houses.... But anyways.

I think the points on the expectations and how lines are blurred at Disney is very real. I think that if Disney was REALLY serious about not having children come up to the performers, they'd have ropes across. How many times in Disney do children encounter characters in costumes actively engaging the children, inviting them in? I can easily see how it becomes difficult for a young child to know when not to. Should the parents have intervened? Yes. But the fact that they didn't is NOT the child's fault, nor does it mean the child is an undisciplined brat. So, stop passing judgement and writing him off as undisciplined, obnoxious, bratty on this young kid, just based on one chance encounter, with which none of us know the full details. Instead, you'd better take a look in the mirror at your own attitudes. You've got a few faults of your own.

Most of the judgement in this thread was for the parents.

 

[larryz]

Many people (like my uncle) would start going through their drawers or closets with him so I guess that could be the case with some but not all. However, I'm not sure how it's "avoiding confrontation" to agree with a parent who's telling her kid to stop something. Wouldn't my calling out the behavior be initiating the confrontation or embarrassment for my kid? If you mean for yourself, why say it's fine if the parent is trying to stop it and you don't like it? Aren't you actually making it potentially more uncomfortable for yourself because then the parent might allow the kid to continue, therefore embarrassing you more? I hope this post didn't come off feisty, I'm just really trying to understand how it helps anyone in the situation (especially yourself) if you disagree with the parent.

Well, maybe they're just consoling the parent, saying they will "tolerate" the behavior, but not necessarily "accept" it...

 

[mshanson3121]

Most of the judgement in this thread was for the parents.

Yes. But there were also comments towards the child as well (or children in general). But regardless, they've got no right to judge the parents either, based on one encounter. They know nothing about them, whatsoever. I guarantee every parent here has been viewed in what others could easily call "less than stellar" moments. That one moment in time does not define who you are as a parent.

 

[wilkeliza]

I'm still wondering did they remove the platform and railing from around the piano? The railing was there to make it where you could go and talk to the piano player but it was clear you weren't encouraged to join in. I know it was still set up that way in the summer but didn't pay attention in the fall.

 

[angierae]

And if deploying the nuclear option doesn't work, then what?

Spanking didn't scare me one bit as a kid. In fact, during one spanking in particular when I was nine, I remember thinking, "My mother's weak. She's pathetic. She can't actually hurt me. I can do whatever I want, and this is the worst she can do!" (And that one actually gave me welts on my butt, which I pointed out to her with glee - I was a tough kid.)

I didn't spank my kids, or threaten to spank them, because there were always better ways to shape their behaviour. And make them think about what they did and reconsider their actions in the future. We were big on learning to think before you act, and when you do mess up, then make restitution for your misdeeds.

My kids, as adults, still have a healthy fear of disappointing me - or, even worse! - their dad. For some reason, that's FAR more terrifying to them than a spanking ever was to me.

I too, was spanked, and I clearly remember thinking "I hope she stops yelling and gets around to hitting me so I can go back in my room and play."

I'm not telling someone whether or not they should hit their kids - at the moment, within reason, it's legal - but I will say that it is not the cure-all people seem to think it is. As with any sort of discipline, it'll work with some kids, and won't work with others. the threat of being hit never stopped me from doing something I wanted to do, because a spanking was over in a few minutes and I went on with my life. Taking away privileges or some other kind of punishment with lasting consequences worked much better with me. Getting hit? Okay, it'll hurt for a couple minutes. Whatever.

 

[Pix]

Yikes, you would think that maybe they could put ropes around the piano/player during the performance? Nothing fancy, just something that is obviously a barrier?

There's no one single way to discipline all children. Like adults, they have very varied personalities. For some, time out is fine. Some need to have their toys and privileges taken away. Personally, my mother had three steps. 1) The glare 2) The verbal warning 3) The smack in the head. #3 rarely happened, but when it did, we asked for it. lol

This.

 

[summerw]

Well, maybe they're just consoling the parent, saying they will "tolerate" the behavior, but not necessarily "accept" it...

Maybe, but they're not doing themselves, the parents, the kids or society in general any favors by sending mixed messages.

 

[DisDadDVC]

Yes. But there were also comments towards the child as well (or children in general). But regardless, they've got no right to judge the parents either, based on one encounter. They know nothing about them, whatsoever. I guarantee every parent here has been viewed in what others could easily call "less than stellar" moments. That one moment in time does not define who you are as a parent.

Why not? People make judgements constantly all day long. Someone cuts you off in traffic, rude salesperson, etc.

 

[ArwenMarie]

I don't think this is such a big deal, I'm sure it happens relatively often considering the location of the piano. I wouldn't let my kids do it though.

 

[larryz]

Maybe, but they're not doing themselves, the parents, the kids or society in general any favors by sending mixed messages.

I think they're using the wrong words. Instead of implying acceptance by saying, "That's OK," they should be saying, "Think nothing of it."

 

[OZMom]

Well, maybe they're just consoling the parent, saying they will "tolerate" the behavior, but not necessarily "accept" it...

"I see you trying to stop your child from doing what I don't want them to do. I will tell you it's ok for them to do that, even though it's not, and stop you from stopping them from doing what I don't want them to do. But then I will call you a bad parent for letting them do the thing that I told you to let them do, even though I was not ok with them doing it"

no wonder nobody can get parenting "right".

 

[starjazz]

Most of the judgement in this thread was for the parents.

If their decision was to move away, and thereby force the boys to follow without causing a huge unruly scene, I applaud those parents for the way they handled it. Who knows what happened after they left the scene. But at least they didn't have to physically remove the kids and risk kicking and screaming or worse.

 

[mshanson3121]

Why not? People make judgements constantly all day long. Someone cuts you off in traffic, rude salesperson, etc.

Why not? Because it's wrong, that's why. Just because it happens, doesn't make it right. And this whole thread is just a disgusting example of the hypocrisy of judgement quite frankly.

 

[larryz]

"I see you trying to stop your child from doing what I don't want them to do. I will tell you it's ok for them to do that, even though it's not, and stop you from stopping them from doing what I don't want them to do. But then I will call you a bad parent for letting them do the thing that I told you to let them do, even though I was not ok with them doing it"

no wonder nobody can get parenting "right".

See the post above yours.

 

[Magpie]

Wow. So much preaching and judging going on in this thread. I'm 40 years old and can definitely say that kids were not well-behaved when i was a kid. Maybe it was great further back? As a parent with two girls (6 and 2), it's definitely our responsibility to keep our kids from acting poorly and to teach them what's the right behavior. That said, I've found that it's very easy to judge when you aren't aware of the actual experience of the parents. Saying that kids were well-behaved in the past and aren't now is just way too simplistic.

Given that Socrates is said to have written this around the 4th century BC:

"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers."

I'm going to guess that there was never a golden age of perfectly behaved children.

 

[summerw]

I think they're using the wrong words. Instead of implying acceptance by saying, "That's OK," they should be saying, "Think nothing of it."

True and funny considering the "semantics" posts.