Parents, Please Control your Children

[minnie mum]

For the record, the announcement that is made at WDW is "Parents, please supervise your children". Controlling them is not mentioned.

And supervising does not mean idly standing there and watching as your children are disruptive and obnoxious.

 

[summerw]

I saw a kid playing on a chain in a line. That chain came detached from the pole, and down she went. Only then did she stop hitting people in the line with the swinging chain. Fortunately she wasn't injured.

Putting your feet in a fountain is different from putting swimsuits on your kids and letting them get in. Nobody's talking about sticking your feet in. The fountains weren't meant for swimming, they are probably not sanitary enough for swimming.

I definitely called out swinging the chain as different from touching it. And you saw someone put their kid in a swimsuit and let them swim in a fountain. That's hilarious. And ewww.

 

[Magpie]

I think your story goes to show that every child is a little different and you can't say you have to do it this way or that way to be effective. I just dont like people saying you cant spank because you are evil and a child abuser.

Well... I definitely don't think people who spank are evil or child abusers. My In-laws spanked, and they turned out one very fine man (actually, two, his brother's pretty awesome as well). On the other hand, we seemed to have achieved a similar result with our kids, without spanking.

And I do like what my church says, about teaching children through example that hands are for showing affection and care, and that they should grow up believing that human touch is kind. (My church is very anti-spanking.)

So, while I definitely do think good, loving parents can spank and their kids are likely to grow up as perfectly healthy, well-adjusted adults, I'm also not at all convinced that spanking is necessary. Or any more effective than any other kind of discipline. Or that, considering our society's views on it, there aren't always at least a half dozen other things a parent can do instead.

And, I can definitely see the "good example" argument for not spanking. One of the most fundamental rules in our home was that no one hit anyone. My husband didn't hit me, and I didn't hit him. We didn't hit the kids, and the kids didn't hit each other. And no one smacked the animals. Not even if they were being naughty. (Using a squirter bottle was cool, though! I occasionally used it on the kids, even. ) So it makes good logical sense to me that if I want a kid who doesn't hit, then I probably shouldn't spank them, even if some folks argue they're totally different things.

I don't think, however harmless spanking might possibly be in the right hands, that there's ever been a child who can't be disciplined in some other way. In fact, it seems to me that the only kids spanking would work on are your average "good kids", without any serious defiance issues or rage or impulse control problems. The last thing you want to do is spank a seriously disturbed child!

 

[MakiraMarlena]

I definitely called out swinging the chain as different from touching it. And you saw someone put their kid in a swimsuit and let them swim in a fountain. That's hilarious. And ewww.

Touching a chain isn't disruptive behavior, nobody's complaining about that.

I did see kids in a fountain once but was reacting to another poster who saw a family put bathing suits on the kids and let them play in a fountain as if it were a swimming pool.

I love it when somebody reads this stuff and decides people are objecting to every single little thing that children do. Most behavior by kids is not disruptive or dangerous to the kids or other people. Some of it is. Some may think it's fine to let their kids crawl on the floor at a restaurant if the kiddies are bored. The server who trips over them might not be so fine. Whoever gets hit by the cutlery and food the server was carrying might not be so fine (including the crawling kids)

 

[keepswimming76]

The parents in this situation are at fault. They either gave up on discipline or are just completely oblivious. My faith in humanity diminishes with each passing year. Many people in public situations only think about themselves, whether on purpose or not, and don't realize the impact of their behavior on others. My husband always references this sort of behavior with "Yay for me and to hell for you."

And it doesn't matter if a child has an unseen developmental delay or disability. They still should be corrected. My son has autism and we have always treated him like a typical child when it comes to discipline. (most of the time). And guess what? He gets it. I can give him a certain look and he knows what he is doing is inappropriate. I understand that parents may not be able to prevent a child from doing something wrong - but they can respond appropriately. In this case the parents could have at least whispered an "I'm sorry," to the piano player while getting the kids out of there.

 

[Boski]

Maybe the kids didn't care for ragtime music?

 

[MickeyWaffles]

Just read this whole post and I'm shocked by how much judging is going on - of parents and children.

I teach my child good manners. I teach her to be respectful. Right from
wrong.

Quite frankly, it's not my job to judge anyone else for how they raise their kid. If I saw this happen, I would have just moved on with my day. I would have actually found the situation more disruptive if the parents came up screaming at their kids. They may have been disciplined afterwards. The point is, nobody knows.

So many people act holier than thou as if their children never misbehaved, or the way they raised their children is the only way.

Hindsight is 20/20, remember. Everyone who is a parent learns as they go.

 

[summerw]

(Using a squirter bottle was cool, though! I occasionally used it on the kids, even. )

OMG, I'm dying. DH has ADD and it looks like DS is following in his footsteps. This would be hilarious every time they get that "oooooh, shiny thing" look in their eyes.

And I don't think people who spank (without leaving a mark) are evil or abusers. I just don't agree, mainly because we employ other strategies that work. I could always understand why my parents spanked my sister though. My brother and I would be telling my sister, "Stop, you're going to get in trouble. Mom's going to lose it, just stop." and on and on and she'd just keep going. I don't know if anything but spanking would have stopped her.

At the same time, I don't think anyone should suggest that some kid they don't know and either saw somewhere briefly or read about on the internet needs a spanking. You know your kids so do what you gotta do, but we should give parents a break by not assuming we know how they should have handled something.

 

[summerw]

Maybe the kids didn't care for ragtime music?

You guys are killing me. Literally LOL.

 

[mckennarose]

Some of this is sort of reminding me of the family who got thrown off the airplane prior to takeoff because their little snowflake didn't want to sit in her seat and wear a seatbelt, and "we never make her do anything she doesn't want to do."

There's a difference between allowing your kids to let their hair down because they are on vacation, and letting them be disruptive.

Agree.

For a child to be "undiciplined" someone has to refrain from disciplining. Not judging someone's parenting style, stating a fact.

On our last trip to Disney we were eating lunch in Cosmic Ray's and there was a toddler, not more than 3, climbing and attempting to run on the back of the partitions between the eating areas. Mom was actually encouraging him to do it by occasionally holding his hand when he would come near her, helping him keep balance until he turned and scampered away again. He was disrupting the other patrons by crawling around on the partitions behind them while they were eating. And mom and dad said nothing, no apology to those around them, no correction of the child, only encouragement for their child using the restaurant as a jungle gym. That to me was unbelievably unsafe. I could envision this poor little guy going head first onto the ground. No CM said a word to them and he continued until we left. That, to me, was a perfect opportunity for correction of an obviously dangerous behavior where he could've gotten severely injured. But, no boundaries were set by the family. Not to mention how his behavior affected the other patrons.

Obviously I'm not commenting on the "dangers of touching a piano", but the fact that some parents allow behaviors that not only are rude, but can also be dangerous.

 

[starjazz]

But it is your job. When you are the parent. The child's safety may depend on it. Are you going to let little sally walk past a rail and climb on the loading deck of an attraction. If you dont remove her, she may get hurt.

In this case, what if the piano player was finished and was going to close the piano key cover. The child's fingers could have been crushed.

Again, it is a progression, but saying sally come her or sally you will be in time out if you dont stop playing that piano, at some point you have to remove sally.

Yeah, I'll just never agree with you on this one. Will I remove my child from life-threatening danger? Sure, but I'd remove YOU from danger too. That is not the same thing. My job is not to control anyone but me. I teach my kids that it is THEIR job to control themselves, and I offer them assistance with the how's and why's.

 

[starjazz]

And supervising does not mean idly standing there and watching as your children are disruptive and obnoxious.

From reading the OP, the parents did everything BUT stand idly by and watch their children be disruptive. Did you read a different story?

 

[Ursula's Apprentice]

And I thank you again for your take on my parenting skills. It really means so much to me when random people offer their advice and opinions on how I parent my kids. I totally take it to heart. Lol.

This performance that is done at Coke Corner is hardly Carnegie Hall. That kids want to participate in it isn't a big shock. Kinda like I'm not shocked if a young child who's given a light saber and told to take down Darth might whack him. For the record, I wouldn't let it go on either. But I also wouldn't physically remove my kid kicking and screaming, because I don't believe that it is my job to CONTROL anyone but myself. And I teach my kids the same. If controlling people is your bag, have at it.

That's enough for me. The fact that you would stop it is enough. It just sounded like you'd smile and say "kids will be kids" and let it go. But if you're saying that that's not the case, then I'll retract my previous statement. That's the fun part about it all being online. Tone cannot be inferred.

 

[GBBTomorrow]

It is not hitting. it is spanking. There is a very real difference.

Spanking is the next step (usually the last) in a progression of discipline. There come a time when timeouts dont work. Little sally knows that after her 5 minutes in the corner she can go right back to what she was doing. after 3 or 4 "time outs" with no change, there is a next step. Spank a child and they know what happens next. No child likes to be spanked and they will do what they have to do to avoid it.

Done properly, you may only have to spank your child 1 or 2 times in all their life.

But sally has to know what happens when time outs dont correct bad behavior.

I love my mother dearly, but when I was a kid, I had a healthy fear of her. I did not want to have to have her spank me, because it hurt. That fear of a painful spanking kept me in line.

Sorry, spanking IS hitting. It is hitting a child in the name of discipline. Whether you do it or not is your business, but it's most definitely hitting. That's what hitting IS: using physical force to strike someone. Yep, that's hitting.

My favorite is when I hear parents scream "WE DON'T HIT!" at little Johnny who just hit his brother, and then haul off and hit the kid as punishment. Baffling.

 

[GillianP1301]

All kids at some point are going to act out and as long as I'm seeing an effort by the parents to discipline/correct/divert or whatever it is you do, then I'm not going to judge. But sit back and watch it happen or worse, not even know it's happening, then you're fair game.

IMO, the biggest issue at WDW is parents push their kids too far and then get shocked when they have a meltdown. If your kid normally goes to bed at 8pm, then staying up until midnight for a week is going to bring issues. Normally eating dinner at 5pm and thinking an ADR at 8pm won't be a problem, is an issue. It's that "I spent <insert dollar value here> on this vacation and we will see and do everything no matter how tired you are" that causes most of the meltdowns.

 

[MakiraMarlena]

Kinda like I'm not shocked if a young child who's given a light saber and told to take down Darth might whack him.

this does happen at the Jedi training, but from what I understand the kids are told to follow exactly what the Jedi Master tells them to do, and a kid who just went off and whacked at Darth would be immediately removed from the stage by a cast member.

 

[minnie mum]

From reading the OP, the parents did everything BUT stand idly by and watch their children be disruptive. Did you read a different story?

Did I refer to the OPs post in any way? No. I responded to your post, which seemed to take pains at differentiating supervision and control. Semantics again ?

 

[summerw]

Touching a chain isn't disruptive behavior, nobody's complaining about that.

I did see kids in a fountain once but was reacting to another poster who saw a family put bathing suits on the kids and let them play in a fountain as if it were a swimming pool.

I love it when somebody reads this stuff and decides people are objecting to every single little thing that children do. Most behavior by kids is not disruptive or dangerous to the kids or other people. Some of it is. Some may think it's fine to let their kids crawl on the floor at a restaurant if the kiddies are bored. The server who trips over them might not be so fine. Whoever gets hit by the cutlery and food the server was carrying might not be so fine (including the crawling kids)

Hmmm… I didn't say I thought you were objecting to every little thing, but I certainly think there's some overreacting on this thread in general. I think your examples require specifics. Where the kids running or jumping out suddenly? Was the server watching where she was going? I have no idea, and I'm not actually asking. Between bags, stroller and kids, I imagine servers at Disney have to watch where they're walking very carefully.

My only point in responding to your post was to point out that "being a kid" does generally mean pushing the limits of acceptable behavior and parents have to judge the specifics for their kids and help them understand.

 

[starjazz]

Did I refer to the OPs post in any way? No. I responded to your post, which seemed to take pains at differentiating supervision and control. Semantics again ?

Oh, were not talking about the OP? Okay, well, in that vein, I definitely didn't say supervising included standing idly by while a child is being disruptive. What I did do was point out the difference between supervision and control. You're welcome to google if you you're confused on the two.

 

[nilla]

this does happen at the Jedi training, but from what I understand the kids are told to follow exactly what the Jedi Master tells them to do, and a kid who just went off and whacked at Darth would be immediately removed from the stage by a cast member.

You seem to be glossing over what Darth Vader had previously done to the younglings. Either that, or you are unaware. If the latter is the case, it's all documented in the film "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith".