Parents, Please Control your Children

[larryz]

I'm really kind of baffled that you keep trying to find the straw man in this situation to make it acceptable. Kudos.

I call it Larry's Law of Infinitely Possible Exceptions.

 

[mshanson3121]

Just wow! Can't believe the thoughts/attitudes of some parents that action condone such outrageous behavior from their children, and feel no one observing this should think differently -

Your words - "hypocritical, judgmental, narrow-minded, self-righteous and assuming attitudes here sadder than the behavior of that child, by far." So, this is your take on parents that actually discipline their children and say so - quite a list of adjectives!! Children actually pick up on your attitudes, and therein is the problem - they 'know' they're 'special' and can do no wrong, and no one else should even 'think' they are! That's exactly what that waitress said to us the other night at Boma.

I didn't say I condone it. I don't. But I'm also not naive, hypocritical, judgmental, assuming, or self-righteous enough to act like a) I know the perfect way to parent every child in this world, in every situation b) that my children have never misbehaved c) that I've always done the perfect thing d) that I haven't made a mistake in parenting. Nor, am I going to flame a parent (or child) based off one very quick observation, when I don't have the full story, or even remotely know them. Every single parent here has made mistakes, every child of these parents has made mistakes. I also have enough compassion, sympathy and understanding to realize that kids are kids. And yes, even a 6 or 7 year old, who should definitely know better - sometimes forgets what that "better" is - EVERY child here, has acted out in a way, that they should know better. And I can certainly see how easily it would happen in a place like Disney World. I also have enough understanding to realize that sometimes parents make mistakes, and they don't handle things the best way they should. It sure as heck doesn't mean they're bad parents who don't discipline their children. And I can also see how that would happen in a place like Disney when parents get just as overwhelmed, and they're embarrassed and wondering how to get the kid out of their with the least amount of distraction possible. I also was raised to know better than to judge other people, tear apart and criticize their parenting, or write a child off as a brat, based on one brief interaction.

I have nothing against parents who discipline their children - I'm one of them, and they would have been disciplined for this scenario. What my problem is is the disgusting and holier than thou attitudes of people tearing this family apart for one brief moment in time.

 

[smiths02]

Parenting choice? To let their kids be out of control, obnoxious, and clearly ruining other's enjoyment of the performance, bothering the performer, etc. etc. etc. That's ok because that's how they 'choose' to parent? A brat is a brat - look up the meaning. Why is it wrong to be truthful? Thankfully, most here do not seem to think the way you do, they try to be responsible for their off spring's actions and deal with it.




Just wow! Can't believe the thoughts/attitudes of some parents that action condone such outrageous behavior from their children, and feel no one observing this should think differently -

Your words - "hypocritical, judgmental, narrow-minded, self-righteous and assuming attitudes here sadder than the behavior of that child, by far." So, this is your take on parents that actually discipline their children and say so - quite a list of adjectives!! Children actually pick up on your attitudes, and therein is the problem - they 'know' they're 'special' and can do no wrong, and no one else should even 'think' they are! That's exactly what that waitress said to us the other night at Boma.




True, but 'not' doing anything about the situation at the time speaks louder than words. I've read before, that you do not have children, so you might would/would not be like these parents. It doesn't really matter to me 'what' discipline (most likely none) happens to the children 'after' the damage is being done if the parents 'choose' to do nothing at the time. Would a parent let a child run into the street, not do anything, then quietly tell the child 'later' (if nothing happened) that they shouldn't do that next time - 'OR' take immediate action to control the situation.

They were 5 and 7 year old kids who banged on a piano at Disneyworld, a place where they are often told to touch and interact with things, for maybe a minute. I don't think it was "outrageous" or "out of control" or being "brats"...it sounds annoying and improper. I would not let my kids do that, but I wouldn't necessarily drag them away and beat them while berating them and threatening that all future visits to the Magic Kingdom were cancelled. We don't know that the parents didn't get the kids to leave and then tell them not to do that. We just know that the kids touched something they should not have and then the parents got them to leave.

Kids who know better and are disciplined do impulsive things sometimes.

 

[JimmyV]

A meltdown is a loss of control. These parents in the OP's story chose to avoid a meltdown. And the kids were removed from the scene by other measures. I don't fault them. It was their parenting choice.

Oddly, "choice" is not a synonym for "appropriate". Let's work out the "choice" in greater detail...

Hmmm. I see my child is climbing over the railing and banging on the piano keys. I also see that lots of people watching the performance are giving my kids the stinkeye, and are burning holes at me with their laserlike glances. I have a choice here. If I let my kid continue what he is doing, he will eventually stop, and he will not get his feelings hurt by being lifted away from the situation. But if I do that, I will save my son from some embarrassment, but will ruin the rest of the performance for all the other guests. Or, my other choice is to intervene, which will rescue the pianist from an uncomfortable situation, restore the performance to what was originally intended, but in the process, possibly hurt my child's feelings.

So you are absolutely correct when you say that these parents had a "choice". But when they elect the option that ruins the performance for the pianist and the other guests in exchange for not wanting to hurt their child's feelings, then they have made a selfish choice and yes, fault can be found under those circumstances.

 

[BuckeyeBama]

And since no one including the OP knows every detail of the story , we should all refrain from judgement. Which was my point 12 pages ago. Does the OP (or anyone else) have the right to say that the kids annoyed them? Sure, but that's a personal issue. It doesn't justify criticizing the family, in my opinion.

I try not to judge other parents because, for the most part, they are doing the best that they can. Children don't come with instruction manuals, and so many parents were not "parented" themselves growing up. Even if they have the best intentions, they make mistakes just as my wife and I did.

 

[mefordis]

The other day we were at MK, just enjoying the ambiance. Jim was at Coke Corner, looking spiffy as usual playing the white piano. He gave a lovely introduction to Maple Leaf Rag, standing up and giving some of it's history. Then he began playing. Along came 2 boys, about 6 and 7 years old. They went up to the piano, the older boy hanging over it looking and the younger one banging on the keys. Jim continued playing, giving it his best, while the young lad was pounding on the bass keys. Along came the parents and not once did they correct their child. They only suggested moving on to something different. Still the boy banged on the lower notes, and Jim valiantly played on. It was the worst rendition of Maple Leaf Rag you can imagine. The parents moved on, and little Johnny, noticing they were gone, finally left too. Jim finished with a flourish, and smiled. Of course he couldn't say anything about what had happened. I felt bad for him.

I never would allow a child of mine to behave in such a way. There was no correction, guidance or direction from the parents, let alone discipline. The children were allowed to do just whatever they felt like.

The kid should not have been allowed to touch the piano.

 

[NJlauren]

I am shocked this thread is still going, but I'm going to be the odd man out here and tell my bad parenting story. DD is young so I expect more to come in the future.

I was once that 'bad' parent and I take full responsibility for it. My family had picked a place for dinner and even though I expressed the hour and a half car ride and then a fancy meal was to much for my 15 month old we went anyway. After about 30 minutes at dinner DD was restless. We started to walk her around the resturant. Looking back what was I thinking! Next time I'm just turning down the invitation. I didn't want to this time as it was my aunts 70th and my moms birthday (she had recently past), but I should have. I appologize if you were in that restaurant!

I have plenty of moments where I can highlight what I consider good parenting but we all should own up to our parenting mistakes and learn from them.

I agree we should all cut each other a little slack, parenting is hard and every child needs to be parented differently.

 

[Magpie]

They were 5 and 7 year old kids who banged on a piano at Disneyworld, a place where they are often told to touch and interact with things, for maybe a minute. I don't think it was "outrageous" or "out of control" or being "brats"...it sounds annoying and improper. I would not let my kids do that, but I wouldn't necessarily drag them away and beat them while berating them and threatening that all future visits to the Magic Kingdom were cancelled. We don't know that the parents didn't get the kids to leave and then tell them not to do that. We just know that the kids touched something they should not have and then the parents got them to leave.

Kids who know better and are disciplined do impulsive things sometimes.

I doubt anyone else here would, either.

 

[larryz]

After about 30 minutes at dinner DD was restless. We started to walk her around the restaurant. Looking back what was I thinking!

Infinitely better than letting the child run wild.

 

[Boski]

The parents should have taken the kids away from the piano, drug them right in front of Cinderella's Castle, and had Mickey and Minnie beat them in front of everyone. (All while Jim played along as the soundtrack)

 

[JimmyV]

I agree we should all cut each other a little slack, parenting is hard and every child needs to be parented differently.

I agree with this 100%, and I'll bet that everyone who has posted on this thread does too. But the issue here is that the "parenting" takes place after the situation has been de-escalated. Some parents would scold. Some would teach. Some would spank. I think that this is where the differing "parenting styles" and "parenting choices" come into play. But what should be universal is that when the child is trespassing where he is not supposed to be, banging on a piano that he is not supposed to be touching, and ruining the performance for all the other guests, that is not a time for parenting styles or parenting choices. That is a time for intervention. And that is simply common sense. The styles and choices come immediately after that. Just as in the classic example of a child about to light a book of matches. We can all make different parenting choices on how to address the situation...after we grab the matches out of the child's hand and stop her from lighting a fire.

 

[Magpie]

I am shocked this thread is still going, but I'm going to be the odd man out here and tell my bad parenting story. DD is young so I expect more to come in the future.

I was once that 'bad' parent and I take full responsibility for it. My family had picked a place for dinner and even though I expressed the hour and a half car ride and then a fancy meal was to much for my 15 month old we went anyway. After about 30 minutes at dinner DD was restless. We started to walk her around the resturant. Looking back what was I thinking! Next time I'm just turning down the invitation. I didn't want to this time as it was my aunts 70th and my moms birthday (she had recently past), but I should have. I appologize if you were in that restaurant!

I have plenty of moments where I can highlight what I consider good parenting but we all should own up to our parenting mistakes and learn from them.

I agree we should all cut each other a little slack, parenting is hard and every child needs to be parented differently.

If you were walking with your 15 month old around the restaurant, I doubt people had much of an issue with it. Especially as I'm assuming you weren't squeezing between tables, knocking things over, bumping into people, tripping up the wait staff, allowing your child to crawl under tables, allowing her to run wild while you enjoyed your meal, allowing her to grab the utensils off of other tables leaving child goobered utensils behind for unwary patrons to use, etc...

What you're describing is rather different from what other folks have been describing. If it'd been nice out, you could have perhaps taken her outside to toddle around, but the fact remains that you were actively supervising her. So, good on ya'! Not "bad parenting". And no need for you to miss future birthdays with your family.

 

[larryz]

The parents should have taken the kids away from the piano, drug them right in front of Cinderella's Castle, and had Mickey and Minnie beat them in front of everyone. (All while Jim played along as the soundtrack)

I know you're just joking, but I'm not sure advocating beating kids is funny under any circumstances.

 

[KathyTX]

This thread has veered far from having any trip planning value and we've removed many posts due to personal attacks on one another. We're done here.