Parents of strong willed children support group

[NikitaZee]

Maybe you all should try parenting your children instead of complaining about it on a discussion board.













KIDDING!!! sorry, but in light of some recent threads, I just couldn't resist. I'm normally very good, but honestly, sometimes you just gotta stir up some trouble.

That was a really good one I almost missed the bottom entirely. That is completely my sense of humor

 

[golfgal]

Everyone talks about the terrible twos, sorry 3 is WAY worse then two. I describe it like this:

2 year old: no, no, no

3 year old: NO!!!!!

5 was a REALLY nice age at our house

 

[clovergirl5]

My little strong willed monstergirl is Camryn, she is the shortest dd in the middle pic in my siggy. She is 6 and she is her own boss. My Hayden is 2, in the 1st pic and she is your typical terrible two Screeching and all.

 

[golfgal]

The cute little blonde in my photo below...that's Juliana. She came out screaming; and then screamed her lungs out 18+ hours a day for the first year of life. We originally wanted 3 or 4 children. Our minds were changed after that one.

She's smart. She's cute. She's sassy. She's headstrong. She's bossy. She's very independent. She thinks that she knows everything about the world at 6. She can be hilarious at times, when you don't want to cry. We have tried every sort of discipline there is. Read all the books, stuck to all of the punishments. Nothing works, although she seems to be a touch better in the last 6 months.

I went to parent teacher conferences and all of the 1st grade desks were lined up neatly in their rows, and there was one lone desk butted right up against the teacher's. Guess who? You got it! It was my lovely headstrong DD. The teacher did say that things were much improved, and when she started to mover DD's desk back with the rest, Juliana asked to remain there. She said to the teacher that she knows if she goes back by the other kids, she will talk too much, not listen, and not get her work done. She wanted to stay up by the teacher because she doesn't like homework and wants to get her work done in school. I was mortified that the desk was there, but very impressed that she's making good choices on her own right now.

Anyway, long story short...I join your club. It's a club I never thought I would have to join since I am a very no-nonsense kinda gal. But here I am.

What a SMART kid--way to go Juliana

My oldest was the easiest baby, very routined from the start, ate every 4 hours almost to the minute (and I fed on 'demand'), slept the same schedule every day, very predictable, hardly ever cried, happy....by FAR my most difficult teenager. Our youngest was a whiny, demanding baby and is the most laid back, easy going kid as a teenager. Hopefully that gives you some hope for the future .

 

[CathrynRose]

My son has one of those attitudes where he "doesn't take any garbage from anyone!" I tell myself that one day this will be an attribute. In 7th grade, it's just not.

Yea, I need a support group.

It's still not an attribute at 18. Trust me.

I will let you know when it is.

Here's a pic of him ....

I've said it a million times - I don't remember screen names.

Are you the girl who is now in Florida, but lived in the Chicago area at one time too? And this was the little boy at one point, who you had pics of him on the beach, right?

I can't believe hot *big* he's gotten. He's a young man, now!!!

If this is not you - sorry! Your son is cute, too.

 

[happygirl]

My kids are very strong willed esp my daughter, drives me bonkers. I can't image where she gets it from

 

[ReneeA]

What a SMART kid--way to go Juliana

My oldest was the easiest baby, very routined from the start, ate every 4 hours almost to the minute (and I fed on 'demand'), slept the same schedule every day, very predictable, hardly ever cried, happy....by FAR my most difficult teenager. Our youngest was a whiny, demanding baby and is the most laid back, easy going kid as a teenager. Hopefully that gives you some hope for the future .

You give me great hope for the future!! I just hope that means my easy-going one doesn't become the devil when he's a teen.

 

[clovergirl5]

Everyone talks about the terrible twos, sorry 3 is WAY worse then two. I describe it like this:

2 year old: no, no, no

3 year old: NO!!!!!

5 was a REALLY nice age at our house

Say it isn't so....dd2 turns 3 on Dec. 26th. What I don't get, all 5 kids come from the same place, same parents, same everything. The last 2 are my challanges. My first 3 are so soft spoken and laid back and for the most part, do what they are told. They are 8,9 and 13. When they were younger, they didn't behave like the last 2 I don't know, maybe its attention issue in our house cause there are so many of them. Or, the last 2 were born by c/s, they didn't get the piss and vinegar squeezed out of them.

 

[Gabes_mommy]

I happen to think being stubborn is an advantage, to a point, and I encourage independence in my kids. After all, the WRONG sorts of men will steer clear of my DD10 in search of an easier spouse to dominate. The best families are headed by warm loving strong women IMO. As for my DS11, being able to stand your ground is the mark of a good decent man, husband and father. How can you walk the straight and narrow if you can't even walk by yourself?

I'd take my 2 headstrong decent kids over 2 wishy washy followers anyday

Now foolish and stubborn is an altogether different mix I wouldn't want any part of, but as long as the kid can learn from his/her OWN mistakes (even if not from the parents advice), they'll be fine. So when one of my kids digs in their heels I stop and consider life experiences when that might be a good thing (saying no to drugs or physical intimacy) take a breath and have a talk about appropriate vs inappropriate ways of voicing opposition... and sometimes I just plain let it go.

Now don't get me wrong, it is incredibly hard to parent my strong willed kids but I keep my eye on that brass ring of 2 strong adults and think the mindset helps a bunch. Only time will tell if I'm right or not.

I absolutely agree with you. I think strong willed is a great characteristic to have. It just makes parenting more work for us, but that's OK, I wouldn't trade my stubborn child for anything.

 

[clovergirl5]

LuvOrlando....is your dd out of the hospital yet? How is she doing?

 

[puffkin]

What a SMART kid--way to go Juliana

My oldest was the easiest baby, very routined from the start, ate every 4 hours almost to the minute (and I fed on 'demand'), slept the same schedule every day, very predictable, hardly ever cried, happy....by FAR my most difficult teenager. Our youngest was a whiny, demanding baby and is the most laid back, easy going kid as a teenager. Hopefully that gives you some hope for the future .

DS was the easiest baby too. And he still is in many ways. He is a pretty good eater, potty trained easily and sleeps really well. Still will take 2 1/2-3 hour naps at 3 1/2. But when he is awake, that little mind just doesnt' stop. Not to mention he is big for his age and loves to rough house and has no fear. He is very clever and witty and boy does he know it. I think he is going to be one of those really smart kids that gets bored easily in school and then is in constant trouble. I am dreading the school years.....

And whoever mentioned about the gleam in the eye, that is so true They just have it, those who have pictures in their sigs you can definitely see that "gleam".

 

[Gabes_mommy]

I think I have the buds of a strong willed child on my hands ... I thought it was the terrible twos but I think it might be more than that. He is 2.5. He is a very loving sweet child most of the time but he wants what he wants and he will do anything to get it.

We are learning how to deal with it ... recently, as in the last two weeks or so, I have found DH and I bribing him and that needs to stop. He is a typical 2 year old picky eater and we have been bribing him to eat good foods with desert ... it's wrong and we are putting the stop on that now. Today he has been in time-out in his room three times before 10 when we went to my dr. appointment! Then he learned how to open his own door (childproof lock!). He has learned to come to me say "Sorry Mommy" and give me a hug ... argh!

Here's a pic of him ....

He is such a cutie! My DS knows the hug and apology trick too.

 

[kafitty]

strong-willed "adult" here (i'm 23 now), just wanted to say, on behalf of your children...we're sorry, we really are.








...but we still know everything.

 

[CathrynRose]

My DS knows the hug and apology trick too.

My strong willed one - never did this. He'd argue with you. Like a lawyer.

OTOH - my younger son, does. So, when I would get mad at the younger one, he'd apologize quickly, and it would all be done with.

My oldest one - just last week told me how much I always yelled at him, at never yelled at Danny.

It makes it kind off hard to yell at them, when they don't argue with you.

 

[Gabes_mommy]

DS was the easiest baby too. And he still is in many ways. He is a pretty good eater, potty trained easily and sleeps really well. Still will take 2 1/2-3 hour naps at 3 1/2. But when he is awake, that little mind just doesnt' stop. Not to mention he is big for his age and loves to rough house and has no fear. He is very clever and witty and boy does he know it. I think he is going to be one of those really smart kids that gets bored easily in school and then is in constant trouble. I am dreading the school years.....

And whoever mentioned about the gleam in the eye, that is so true They just have it, those who have pictures in their sigs you can definitely see that "gleam".

This sounds JUST like my DS. I am afraid of the middle school years....

 

[KATHINOWA]

I started reading "Strong Willed Child" after it was recommended here for someone else. My DS definitely has the characteristics of a strong willed child.

The one that got me from the book was that strong willed children do not say sorry but always make things right. That fits my son to a T. He's 14 now and as a child refused to say sorry. He will now but I have to ask him too. But after a stressful event he will shower hugs and kisses on the offended individual. It used to upset me but now when it happens I say out loud "a strong willed child does not apologize but always makes things right."

At 3 he refused to wear his Halloween costume to school. Refused to wear it trick or treating and went trick or treating with everyone even though he was not allowed to get candy because he wouldn't put the costume on. I think he still thinks he won that battle.

It's difficult now because he is so hard on himself and his siblings. If they sing/say/do/wear anything that bothers him, he goes ballistic. In that respect daily life is very difficult.

He is an excellent student, has many friends and is genuinely a nice boy but he is difficult. I'm learning that I can't change him but I'm trying to help him live in the real world.

 

[PatsGirl]

I had such a hard time with DS and his stubborness from infancy that by the time he was 5 his doctor was discussing possible ODD (Obstinate Oppositional Disorder). It started very young when he would scream anytime I placed him in enclosed (think strapped in) areas such as high chair, car seat, crib, etc. Some of you might have read how he was out of his crib before a year old Now, I'm not sure if they actually treat this but I did not, just hoped for the best

Well, high school was no laughing matter and I didn't think I'd make it but I did and he's off to the Air Force learning how to take orders without question. Actually, he's loving it, always needed lots of structure and black and white rules so perfect place for him. He is smart and independent, has a heart of gold, and stubborn to no end

DD12 on the other hand is the sweetest most pliable child. She has always been easy-going and anxious to please...I only hope it lasts through the teen years.

Good luck to all of you with the toddlers going through this, it can be difficult finding the imaginary line of independence and being naughty.

 

[DMickey28]

CathrynRose - Yes, that's me!! However, we are now in New Hampshire!! Finally bought a house and settled down after 1 year in Indiana, 2 years in Chicago and 3 years in Florida!! Thanks ... we can't believe how much of a big boy he is already. He isn't my little baby anymore! I am kinda scared to see what his little brother is like ... he was an easy baby.

 

[kellyg403]

Mom to a 22 yo strong willed child...who has been that way since birth. I agree with the other poster, the "Strong Willed Child" was a book I could related too in many ways and she is also not one to apologize but she is one who will try to fix what she does or make it better. Its something we are STILL working on!

I always tell her she could be President of the United States, she can argue like a lawyer, she believes her point of view is always right...even with proof it might not be..if she applied all of that stubborness to goals she would be a millionaire.


Kelly

 

[happygirl]

My daughter who is 6 would argue that the grass is green