Narrowing down college choices

[Pea-n-Me]

Thanks for the advice. I'm not concerned about his PSAT/SAT scores. Before Duke TIP imploded during COVID he was part of the program and got great scores. We're aiming for at least a National Merit semifinalist. He tests well but his GPA is a roller coaster depending on his current state of mind. He's got a very high IQ(around 146 aggregate) but struggles with social skills, anxiety, and focus. He's seeing a private psychologist and private Autism support specialist plus he has an IEP. His district provides great IEP support services but doesn't have a very great reputation academically. His high school doesn't have enough regular counselors for the campus, much less college counselors. When he and I attended the district college fair so he could get extra credit I was extremely underwhelmed by the selection of colleges that showed up. The counselor I hired has a lot of experience working with kids like my son and used to work in college admissions. He's on advisory admissions boards for a few universities.

I'm also not concerned about cost. We've been very fortunate to be able to save aggressively through careful investment and living below our means. We will expect him to get a part-time job for spending money.

Do you think it would be beneficial for him to be [relatively] near home? Or do you think he’ll be ok wherever he goes, even if it’s far away?

 

[sam_gordon]

Go on line, research the school(s), call them.

I *HIGHLY* stress pushing the student to do this. I'll admit to looking online at schools DS was interested in, and even suggesting a couple of schools, but I really wanted HIM to be interested enough to do the work. *I* never had to call a school. If there was a question about a specific school that I wanted to know, if the answer wasn't available online, I'd see if DS would ask. If he didn't, then my question didn't get answered.

I understand the OP is in a different situation with a special needs student, but for other people reading...

DW & I told all our kids, it really doesn't matter what *WE* think of a school (finances being the exception), THEY are the ones who have to like it.

 

[HopperFan]

I'd love some advice from those who are navigating this now or have recent experience. I have a high school sophomore who is in the marching band so he has limited time to visit colleges. Since he has some special needs and his high school's college advising program is terrible, I hired a private college counselor. We told him that we wanted some recommendations for schools to visit during Spring Break and he just sent us the list. It's overwhelming. There are 6 potential areas to visit and at least 4 schools at each. While we will definitely be consulting with our counselor about it, I'd love advice from those who have and/or going through it. We're not looking at cost during this go-round. Help!

Is he interested in continuing in Marching Band, that would help narrow.

Are you saying the counselor offered over 24 schools to look at? If so I'd ask them to cut that at least by 1/3. You are paying them to help you narrow to good choices, I could narrow to 24 on my own without professional help.

WHY aren't you looking at cost? Last thing I wanted was my kids to fall in love with a school they (1) could not get in to (2) would not qualify for any non-repayable financial help (3) WE COULD NOT AFFORD. There is no way I would tour a school that didn't meet all those musts.

What are your son's interests?

What are his needs? Will he need special accommodations?

Would he do better at a larger school or smaller school?

How far away from home will he be comfortable?

How will school be paid for?

I'd start looking at websites and videos of the schools to get a feel for them.

Ease into college prep in sophomore year.

All great suggestions!

Our kids High School College counselors preached that a University isn't going to admit a student and then not work to make it within their financial reach. That certainly was what happened with our kids and their friends. It might be grants, it might be scholarships, it might be work-study, it might be loans, but the University WILL find a way to make it financially possible. Otherwise, they have wasted their time admitted your child.

Of course a school will always help you find a way if they want you, including loans. They have no qualms with saddling a student or family with debt. That doesn't make it a good financial choice for many.

I will note that private schools have way more flexibility and money to assist a student than a public college, and as we found are negotiable.

When mine were that age I started taking them to local college campuses to have lunch, visit the bookstore, walk around, etc., just to take the mystery out of it. It worked. And like a pp, mine both ended up going to the first one we visited (which was my alma mater, too).

Visits are so important. My DD visited about a dozen schools in 5 states. Being on campus seeing it yourself is a whole different perspective than a website built around the best views of the campus. There were two schools she didn't even get out of the car, it was a hard NOPE! Others we took the tour, got a good feel and she knew whether they were in the running or out. In the end she applied to 8 because she was a non-traditional student (graduated at 16) so didn't know how they would react.

 

[georgina]

Thanks for the advice. I'm not concerned about his PSAT/SAT scores. Before Duke TIP imploded during COVID he was part of the program and got great scores. We're aiming for at least a National Merit semifinalist. He tests well but his GPA is a roller coaster depending on his current state of mind. He's got a very high IQ(around 146 aggregate) but struggles with social skills, anxiety, and focus. He's seeing a private psychologist and private Autism support specialist plus he has an IEP. His district provides great IEP support services but doesn't have a very great reputation academically. His high school doesn't have enough regular counselors for the campus, much less college counselors. When he and I attended the district college fair so he could get extra credit I was extremely underwhelmed by the selection of colleges that showed up. The counselor I hired has a lot of experience working with kids like my son and used to work in college admissions. He's on advisory admissions boards for a few universities.

I'm also not concerned about cost. We've been very fortunate to be able to save aggressively through careful investment and living below our means. We will expect him to get a part-time job for spending money.

We experienced the young man with no social skills. Not sure what field your DS is considering, ours found his people at a tech-focused school. My concern for him was getting and keeping a job. He's 30 now and mostly plays video games online as his social thing. (He also likes to hike) But he finished his college classes in 3.5 years and has been working for the same video game company for 8 (The last 6 of them from his apartment.) Best of luck!

Our youngest DD went to a highly ranked school that gave no merit aid, only need-based. She was full pay and has the highest salary of any of our kids (our oldest is in consulting and has an MBA) and the tuition was completely worth it. No, not all colleges will give you money. And that's OK.

 

[stout]

I agree, you just need to go see the schools. DD is a junior, but we started fall of her sophomore year with a spreadsheet of her wants/needs, then did lots of googling, found schools that tended to fit her “unicorn-like criteria” best, and just grouped them by location…we have now been to over 30 colleges, some of which looked excellent on paper but the students looked/sounded miserable in person. We are now down to the 6 that will receive applications, and she is comfortable leaving it at that. She told me the other night that she is infinitely grateful that we started so early, as some of her junior classmates are just starting now (one was crying because she was so overwhelmed).

DD is also in marching band in high school and decided that it was important to her to find a college with a non-audition marching band.

 

[mjkacmom]

Our kids High School College counselors preached that a University isn't going to admit a student and then not work to make it within their financial reach. That certainly was what happened with our kids and their friends. It might be grants, it might be scholarships, it might be work-study, it might be loans, but the University WILL find a way to make it financially possible. Otherwise, they have wasted their time admitted your child.
And student loan debit is a hot topic, but some of the says people use the money isn't smart. I know kids who have debit that is greater than their tuition, books, room and board cost. And my daughter's best friend finished her Masters last semester, but her grant requires her to work and be a full time student for the entire academic year, so she is still there, taking garbage classes, to satisfy that requirement when she could be out in the working world paying off her debt.

I disagree with this, although I think my kids are younger. Especially public schools. I’d say there were 30 applications from my kids, plenty didn’t offer enough for them to attend, UMD offered one kid $3000 a year, Villanova $0 to another (who was accepted into honors). The top merit at one of my kids’ schools was $20,000 max the year before she applied, the following year it was $12,500. My oldest was offered $25,000 a year at UMASS in 2014, my next applicant (higher stats) got the max of $16,000, I believe, in 2019. There are always students next in line with the same stats who will be able to afford it.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

Sophomore year is not too early to start to get an idea. My DS was very bright but not inclined to work hard in HS (he got high B's without much effort and could have gotten A's had he put in some effort). Took him to visit a university in spring of his sophomore year and he liked it and started to consider what he needed to do to gain admission. It helped that it had a major in video game design and development. I made him visit a few more schools, but the first one is ultimately where he attended. So I would say just pick one of those 6 areas and start looking, it should help narrow some of the options. He may not be able to say how large a school, etc he wants before you start.

My 2 other kids were different. One DD knew she wanted to be in an urban area, so that cut her choices down. (Ended up in DC where she still lives now) Other was all over the place so we visited several areas. (Ended up in CA where she lives now)

This same thing happened with my daughter. We took her along on her 2-years-older brother’s college visits when she was a HS freshman. She fell in love with the first campus we visited, which was a fairly competitive school. We took her back to her favorite and to a few new schools during her junior year. None of the other schools she saw ever measured up to that first one. She worked her tail off academically, played multiple sports, volunteered all through high school, and got into the school she fell in love with as a freshman. She knew what she wanted, and she went for it! It was a great motivator.

 

[tvguy]

I disagree with this, although I think my kids are younger. Especially public schools. I’d say there were 30 applications from my kids, plenty didn’t offer enough for them to attend, UMD offered one kid $3000 a year, Villanova $0 to another (who was accepted into honors). The top merit at one of my kids’ schools was $20,000 max the year before she applied, the following year it was $12,500. My oldest was offered $25,000 a year at UMASS in 2014, my next applicant (higher stats) got the max of $16,000, I believe, in 2019. There are always students next in line with the same stats who will be able to afford it.

Was this before, or after they accepted the admissions offer?

 

[Southernmiss]

Not all kids can do well with a part time job in college and not a disciplines of study work with part-time jobs.

 

[Southernmiss]

Was this before, or after they accepted the admissions offer?

After for us.

Our daughter was admitted to Rice and we had a zoom meeting with their counselor who stood firm with their offer and no wiggle from it.

Colleges have so many excellent applicants these days that they can stand firm and not haggle.

Daughter wound up going to our instate flagship like 2 of her brothers because they all received full merit scholarships that paid for everything and gave our kids $ in their pockets.

 

[tvguy]

Of course a school will always help you find a way if they want you, including loans. They have no qualms with saddling a student or family with debt. That doesn't make it a good financial choice for many.

I will note that private schools have way more flexibility and money to assist a student than a public college, and as we found are negotiable.

Whether it is a good financial choice is certainly subjective, but they will put together a financial package to make it possible. Yes, private colleges do have endowments. Harvard is free if your family income is $75,000 or less. I guess the IRS was really about to crackdown on how much endowment money was not being spent.
My College ....which my son also attended, got a $100 million gift from the estate of a local developer.. That's like $16,000 for every one of their 6,200 students!!!]
My daughter's public University these days is $7,392 for an academic year. That's like $616 a month, less than the average $700 car payment people make.

 

[HeatherC]

I know you said you aren’t concerned with cost at this point, but unless you have $120-200,000 saved for it (which you may and then it doesn’t matter), I urge you to consider cost. Living away will cost approximately 30k a year upwards. While he will most likely get some “scholarships”, the cost is still crazy.

You don’t want him falling in love with a school and then not being able to afford it unless he has to take on huge loans. Four years goes so fast and then so many are buried with loans because they wanted to “experience” college. That is all wonderful…unless they have to pay for the next 30 years.

If finances are truly not an issue, I would urge him to do some of the research himself. What we think our kids may like may be entirely different than what they picture for themselves.

I would start locally to see what a college campus is like and if he even can picture himself on a college campus. Then branch out from there. Look at some schools that offer plenty of majors in case he changes his mind. I know several kids who had to transfer to different schools for new majors when the one they originally chose didn’t end up offering what they were interested in. They spent extra money and not all schools accept transfer credits so that also costs more time in school taking more classes.

If he has special needs, does he need to be closer to home? If that is the case, I wouldn’t bother booking a flight somewhere to tour a campus. Many of my kids friends had parents who literally toured tons of schools across the country that they themselves had no interest in.

Best of luck as your son begins his search!

 

[georgina]

OP has stated there is only one school near home, others are 5+ hours away.

 

[tcufrog]

I'd rather not say how much we have in our 529 but our investment advisor who has two kids in college has told us that we will have enough to pay for college in it. He agrees that we will not qualify for financial aid given our income and how much we are worth.

My son does struggle but has been improving. I've been talking to his psychologist and autism support specialists about my concerns and they believe that he will get there if he continues to improve. They also do phone and Zoom appointments with patients who are in college so my son can continue to see them, which will help. Right now he's talking on the phone with a friend of his which is definitely progress for him.

His top choice for major is biology but he's not totally sure. Environmental engineering is something else he's considering. He isn't interested in medical engineering. We've told both our sons that we are willing to pay for college as long as one of their majors has a clear career path, which can include grad school. They can also major or minor in something they love that won't lead to a degree as long as they can keep their grades up. I could see him minoring in history because he really enjoys learning about history.

 

[tcufrog]

OP has stated there is only one school near home, others are 5+ hours away.

The other schools nearby are good schools but not a great fit for a variety of reasons, mostly because they're too big for him. He's told us that he prefers discussion classes and that he worries that he'll have trouble focusing in lecture classes that are in giant lecture halls. He probably will end up having some big lecture classes but we're trying to minimize the possibility of it.

He also wants to go to a school where he easily can get around with a combination of biking and public transit. He doesn't necessarily want to live in a big city but he wants to be able to easily get to a big city with cultural activities, museums, restaurants, etc. He wants to go somewhere that feels like a college campus, not just some office buildings in the middle of other office buildings with no separation. He also likes 4 seasons.

When we went to DC for a family vacation, we toured George Washington and American University. He loved American but didn't like George Washington. I'm concerned about the strength of the STEM program at American though. They're really working to improve the departments but it's a work in progress.

 

[mjkacmom]

Was this before, or after they accepted the admissions offer?

My daughter did appeal her $17,000 a year scholarship offer at UDel, hoping her 34 act and high class rank, plus a spring county athlete/scholar award might bump her (one female senior from each HS), but they said nope. She learned later that the amount of merit at Villanova was not a thing. College admissions are so different now than even 10 years ago. Applicants are more competitive, money is drying up (adding to the college loan issue). I’m SO glad we are almost done.

 

[QueenIsabella]

My older son is autistic. He would NOT have done well, living on a campus. He also didn't know what he wanted to study. He also has anxiety and depression--the anxiety is more life-limiting than the autism. He ended up going to the local community college, then transferred to the local branch of State U. He currently goes there part time, and works at Fedex full time. It works for him. Having an autistic child does change the calculus--you want a school where he'll feel comfortable, that has appropriate support services. If marching band is important to him, definitely check if it's no-audition (if he needs it--if he's really good or plays something unusual, he may have no issue).

 

[mjkacmom]

Whether it is a good financial choice is certainly subjective, but they will put together a financial package to make it possible. Yes, private colleges do have endowments. Harvard is free if your family income is $75,000 or less. I guess the IRS was really about to crackdown on how much endowment money was not being spent.
My College ....which my son also attended, got a $100 million gift from the estate of a local developer.. That's like $16,000 for every one of their 6,200 students!!!]
My daughter's public University these days is $7,392 for an academic year. That's like $616 a month, less than the average $700 car payment people make.

Public universities in my state average around $15,000 a year for just tuition. Don’t know about car payments because I’ve never had one, cash only. Community college is $10,000 a year. OOS publics that my kids applied to were all $50,000+ a year (before merit, merit was a must, we aren’t eligible for FA).

 

[tvguy]

Public universities in my state average around $15,000 a year for just tuition. Don’t know about car payments because I’ve never had one, cash only. Community college is $10,000 a year. OOS publics that my kids applied to were all $50,000+ a year (before merit, merit was a must, we aren’t eligible for FA).

Community College for first time students is free in California. Otherwise it is $1,288 for a full time student per year.

 

[redboat45]

My daughter is also a sophomore in hs. We started touring colleges last fall. She doesn't want to miss school at all so we've been visiting colleges within driving distance on days she has off. We're only looking at small, private, Christian colleges/universities. She is often the only sophomore there and doesn't' get as much attention from the admission counselors as the seniors that are visiting but that is understandable.

Make sure to ask about the academic support services at the places you visit. Some barely have anything while others are quite good and extensive.

Before you visit, call the school and ask if they have any kids similar to yours that attend and see if you can talk to them. you can get a feel for how they're doing at the school.

A website that we've found really helpful is niche. You can learn a lot about different colleges on that website!