Narrowing down college choices

[tcufrog]

I'd love some advice from those who are navigating this now or have recent experience. I have a high school sophomore who is in the marching band so he has limited time to visit colleges. Since he has some special needs and his high school's college advising program is terrible, I hired a private college counselor. We told him that we wanted some recommendations for schools to visit during Spring Break and he just sent us the list. It's overwhelming. There are 6 potential areas to visit and at least 4 schools at each. While we will definitely be consulting with our counselor about it, I'd love advice from those who have and/or going through it. We're not looking at cost during this go-round. Help!

 

[bjscheel]

Just start with some local schools. Sophomore year is pretty early to be spending a lot of money on travel for college visits. His opinions will change over time too. Start local and try big, small, medium, public, private, rural, city, etc. He'll get some ideas about what he does and doesn't like and you can use those initial impressions to narrow down future visits.

Some schools are better for special needs- I don't have specific knowledge about that. I would suggest joining the College Confidential forums as people there will know more. And when you get down to a few good options, you can contact their disability departments with specific questions.

If marching band is hoped for in college, that will be another thing to check into. If there is one, how likely he would be chosen, etc.

 

[White Cat]

We didn’t need any help making choices or ruling schools out. You just do it.

 

[Southernmiss]

What are your son's interests?

What are his needs? Will he need special accommodations?

Would he do better at a larger school or smaller school?

How far away from home will he be comfortable?

How will school be paid for?

I'd start looking at websites and videos of the schools to get a feel for them.

Ease into college prep in sophomore year.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

When we went through it with our two kids, we looked at schools that were an academic fit, a campus culture fit, and a financial fit. The financial fit is super important. We didn’t want to waste time on schools there was no way we could afford. We knew better than to pin all our hopes on scholarships even though we had a valedictorian. He wanted (and attended) a top 25 school - not many merit scholarships available when everyone there is valedictorian caliber. In the end, both kids landed at the perfect schools for them and both graduated debt free.

Good luck!!!

ETA - I’ve heard really good things about High Point University. A few of my friends sent their kids, who needed additional support, there.

 

[tcufrog]

Just start with some local schools. Sophomore year is pretty early to be spending a lot of money on travel for college visits. His opinions will change over time too. Start local and try big, small, medium, public, private, rural, city, etc. He'll get some ideas about what he does and doesn't like and you can use those initial impressions to narrow down future visits.

Some schools are better for special needs- I don't have specific knowledge about that. I would suggest joining the College Confidential forums as people there will know more. And when you get down to a few good options, you can contact their disability departments with specific questions.

If marching band is hoped for in college, that will be another thing to check into. If there is one, how likely he would be chosen, etc.

I agree that it's early to look at schools. We're combining it with a family vacation. We'll do some fun, touristy stuff and take some time out to tour 2-3 schools. Our college counselor is helping us choose schools that will meet his special needs. He's a 2E kid who has high-functioning Autism and ADHD. We've been aggressively saving for college since he was a baby so we're not as concerned with the financial aspect. We knew we wouldn't qualify for financial aid and didn't want to pin our hopes on merit aid.

As for local, our area only has one school that we're looking at and it's 15 minutes from home. The nearest other options are 5 hours away.

 

[sam_gordon]

First, I think you need to find out what your Son wants. I did a google form for our son so he could fill out to give us a start. Important questions:
A) How large a school do you want to attend? (Give examples of nearby colleges)
B) How far away from home to do you want to be?
C) What major(s) are you interested in?
D) Any particular extra curricular activities (does he want to be in the marching band)?
E) What kind of weather would you prefer to be in (one with four seasons? Snow? warm?)
F) How close to a "large" city do you want to be?

Use those answers to narrow down to a couple of schools to visit. If he doesn't know the answer to any of them, that's fine. But if he doesn't want a "large" (like Alabama, Texas, Florida, etc) school, that helps narrow things down. If he wants to be within a 2 hour drive from home, that helps narrow things down. If he knows he wants to major in marine biology, that helps, etc.

If he can't narrow down any schools, I'd just find a large school and a small school close to where you're visiting and target those. As a sophomore, it's about narrowing down the wants.

 

[georgina]

Sophomore year is not too early to start to get an idea. My DS was very bright but not inclined to work hard in HS (he got high B's without much effort and could have gotten A's had he put in some effort). Took him to visit a university in spring of his sophomore year and he liked it and started to consider what he needed to do to gain admission. It helped that it had a major in video game design and development. I made him visit a few more schools, but the first one is ultimately where he attended. So I would say just pick one of those 6 areas and start looking, it should help narrow some of the options. He may not be able to say how large a school, etc he wants before you start.

My 2 other kids were different. One DD knew she wanted to be in an urban area, so that cut her choices down. (Ended up in DC where she still lives now) Other was all over the place so we visited several areas. (Ended up in CA where she lives now)

 

[tcufrog]

First, I think you need to find out what your Son wants. I did a google form for our son so he could fill out to give us a start. Important questions:
A) How large a school do you want to attend? (Give examples of nearby colleges)
B) How far away from home to do you want to be?
C) What major(s) are you interested in?
D) Any particular extra curricular activities (does he want to be in the marching band)?
E) What kind of weather would you prefer to be in (one with four seasons? Snow? warm?)
F) How close to a "large" city do you want to be?

Use those answers to narrow down to a couple of schools to visit. If he doesn't know the answer to any of them, that's fine. But if he doesn't want a "large" (like Alabama, Texas, Florida, etc) school, that helps narrow things down. If he wants to be within a 2 hour drive from home, that helps narrow things down. If he knows he wants to major in marine biology, that helps, etc.

If he can't narrow down any schools, I'd just find a large school and a small school close to where you're visiting and target those. As a sophomore, it's about narrowing down the wants.

We've verbally discussed this but I love the idea of having him write it down. When we were in DC this past year we toured a few schools just for exposure and to get his wheels turning. He loved one campus but wasn't feeling it at the other. It also gave him some things to think about. I think each visit will help with clarity. He struggles with making open-ended decisions where there's no right answer so visits at this point are more about getting some feedback from him about likes and dislikes.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

I'd love some advice from those who are navigating this now or have recent experience. I have a high school sophomore who is in the marching band so he has limited time to visit colleges. Since he has some special needs and his high school's college advising program is terrible, I hired a private college counselor. We told him that we wanted some recommendations for schools to visit during Spring Break and he just sent us the list. It's overwhelming. There are 6 potential areas to visit and at least 4 schools at each. While we will definitely be consulting with our counselor about it, I'd love advice from those who have and/or going through it. We're not looking at cost during this go-round. Help!

I am in the middle of this now. But, my daughter is a junior. I am one to get a jump on things and plan, plan, plan. But, in this circumstance, I'd have to agree with others....it may be too early to get deep into the process. My daughter had her junior advisement in November (she signed up right away when annoucement made that these were starting) and her high school counselor is still doing junior advisements now. My daughter has had some questions and her counselor hasn't been the most responsive. When she finally responded, she more or less told my daughter that she'll have to wait and that "her focus is completing junior advisements. So, that maybe one reason why your child's counselor has been less than helpful. They're dealing with the juniors now. We went to a college fair this past Monday and reps were more interested in speaking with juniors than sophmores or freshmen. There are different "things" between looking at colleges being a junior or sophmore. For example: we plan on visiting a university this month. The tour consists of an overview of the school, admissions process, academics, student life and financial aid followed by student lead tours of the campus. On the other hand, if she was a sophmore, the tour would only be a walking tour with much less information. My daughters high school often has on line seminars from outside resources to assist parents and their children with the college process. To be very honest, these counselors or other people out there don't do anything you can't do yourself. IMO, it's a money grab. Go on line, research the school(s), call them. They are a wealth of information and the best information. Have you gone to the website CollegeBoard.org? It's a great resource. There's also Naviance. Did you know that if a student has ADHD, that they can get "assistance" and/or extra time to take their PSAT, SAT or ACT? My daughter is a procrastinator, I help her a lot. I'll always help her and be there for her but I'm trying to hold back and let her take the reigns more. This is her journey and she has to learn to navigate it. I will not be on campus with her. Colleges want to hear from the potential students, not their parents. It's all part of the process.

 

[tvguy]

We had a very good College counseling program at my kids schools. We visited 4 campuses with our son, and 3 with our daughter. The son found a College that was a good fit. My daughter also found a College that SEEMED like a good fit, but ultimately, once she got there, it wasn't. It was a growing experience for her, and she took charge, did her research and decided to leave that College after her Freshman year, go to Junior College here for a semester, and transfer to the local California State University. The most mind boggling thing to me was, her first College was a California State University campus......and NONE, ZERO, ZIP of her courses would transfer to her new California State University campus. How that is even POSSIBLE, I have not idea. But apparently her first choice kind of marches to the beat of their own drummer academically.
So a long story to say, even the best researched College can end up not being a good fit.

 

[georgina]

I am in the middle of this now. But, my daughter is a junior. I am one to get a jump on things and plan, plan, plan. But, in this circumstance, I'd have to agree with others....it may be too early to get deep into the process. My daughter had her junior advisement in November (she signed up right away when annoucement made that these were starting) and her high school counselor is still doing junior advisements now. My daughter has had some questions and her counselor hasn't been the most responsive. When she finally responded, she more or less told my daughter that she'll have to wait and that "her focus is completing junior advisements. So, that maybe one reason why your child's counselor has been less than helpful. They're dealing with the juniors now. We went to a college fair this past Monday and reps were more interested in speaking with juniors than sophmores or freshmen. There are different "things" between looking at colleges being a junior or sophmore. For example: we plan on visiting a university this month. The tour consists of an overview of the school, admissions process, academics, student life and financial aid followed by student lead tours of the campus. On the other hand, if she was a sophmore, the tour would only be a walking tour with much less information. My daughters high school often has on line seminars from outside resources to assist parents and their children with the college process. To be very honest, these counselors or other people out there don't do anything you can't do yourself. IMO, it's a money grab. Go on line, research the school(s), call them. They are a wealth of information and the best information. Have you gone to the website CollegeBoard.org? It's a great resource. There's also Naviance. Did you know that if a student has ADHD, that they can get "assistance" and/or extra time to take their PSAT, SAT or ACT? My daughter is a procrastinator, I help her a lot. I'll always help her and be there for her but I'm trying to hold back and let her take the reigns more. This is her journey and she has to learn to navigate it. I will not be on campus with her. Colleges want to hear from the potential students, not their parents. It's all part of the process.

Some good points. I think the visit we did with DS at RIT was an open house day specifically for sophomores. Was very well done.

 

[Christine]

We didn't really delve into this until junior year. Sure, we were thinking before then. But by junior year, we had pretty solid evidence on where both kids fell as students in the GPA spectrum and where they'd likely be admitted at that point. That scratched a bunch of schools off the "dream" list so there was just no point in wasting time visiting schools that they didn't have the GPA for.

If your child is a top-notch student, obviously, that makes the list bigger and harder to narrow down.

Finances absolutely should be considered unless you have no issues financiing the whole thing. We weren't going down that road and scholarships are few and far between for merit. So that narrowed down our list. No point looking at schools that were financially out of reach.

We then had the large school/small school discussion and visted two large campuses, a medium, and some small ones. Both kids definitely ruled out going to a small college. Daughter ended up at large campus with the whole football vibe and son ended up at a mid-size campus. Both were great fits and neither were their first choices.

 

[TCRAIG]

To me - it’s kind of like buying a house - you’ll know it’s the right one when you see it…which means visit’s unfortunately. So, I would eliminate the ones that don’t have majors that interest your son, those that would be impossible to get into, those that don’t really offer at least a decent return on investment and those in the part of the country your son doesn’t think he’d enjoy. Then I’d pick a big school and a small school close by to visit and narrow down the list based on which you prefer…

 

[design_mom]

I agree with most (I currently have a college senior and college freshman.) I don't think sophomore year is too early to think about it, but it's too early to really make any firm choices. If you have local universities, maybe tour and get a feel for whether he wants a big, urban campus, a "college town," or a small-college atmosphere. What activities and campus amenities are important to him, etc.

From there, you can narrow things down based on what he likes/doesn't like. By junior year, he'll also hopefully have a little more of an idea about what kind of subject he wants to study and you can further narrow by who has the "right" programs, etc.

And, I absolutely agree with others: Unless you truly are one of those "money is no object" people, cost *is* important, even at this stage. Don't let him fall in love with someplace you can't afford.

 

[mjkacmom]

I have 3 college graduates, 2 current undergrads and 1 in grad school. You list should have safeties, matches and maybe some reaches. My kids who went OOS had to chase merit, so they had sat/act tutors and submitted a lot of applications. I think most find that college is more expensive and more competitive than they thought. The only dream school should be affordable and a very likely acceptance.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

When mine were that age I started taking them to local college campuses to have lunch, visit the bookstore, walk around, etc., just to take the mystery out of it. It worked. And like a pp, mine both ended up going to the first one we visited (which was my alma mater, too).

 

[tvguy]

Finances absolutely should be considered unless you have no issues financiing the whole thing. We weren't going down that road and scholarships are few and far between for merit. So that narrowed down our list. No point looking at schools that were financially out of reach.

Our kids High School College counselors preached that a University isn't going to admit a student and then not work to make it within their financial reach. That certainly was what happened with our kids and their friends. It might be grants, it might be scholarships, it might be work-study, it might be loans, but the University WILL find a way to make it financially possible. Otherwise, they have wasted their time admitted your child.
And student loan debit is a hot topic, but some of the says people use the money isn't smart. I know kids who have debit that is greater than their tuition, books, room and board cost. And my daughter's best friend finished her Masters last semester, but her grant requires her to work and be a full time student for the entire academic year, so she is still there, taking garbage classes, to satisfy that requirement when she could be out in the working world paying off her debt.

 

[tcufrog]

Thanks for the advice. I'm not concerned about his PSAT/SAT scores. Before Duke TIP imploded during COVID he was part of the program and got great scores. We're aiming for at least a National Merit semifinalist. He tests well but his GPA is a roller coaster depending on his current state of mind. He's got a very high IQ(around 146 aggregate) but struggles with social skills, anxiety, and focus. He's seeing a private psychologist and private Autism support specialist plus he has an IEP. His district provides great IEP support services but doesn't have a very great reputation academically. His high school doesn't have enough regular counselors for the campus, much less college counselors. When he and I attended the district college fair so he could get extra credit I was extremely underwhelmed by the selection of colleges that showed up. The counselor I hired has a lot of experience working with kids like my son and used to work in college admissions. He's on advisory admissions boards for a few universities.

I'm also not concerned about cost. We've been very fortunate to be able to save aggressively through careful investment and living below our means. We will expect him to get a part-time job for spending money.

 

[QueenIsabella]

We're starting this with DS16. I will say, nothing wrong with starting early--our biggest issue with him is finding time for him to look at schools. He's talking about Chemical engineering as a major--the search for engineering schools is a bit different, in that it's not offered everywhere, and a lot of the schools are specialized. The local university doesn't offer it, but there's a decent school, 2 hours away. He's visited there, but not looking at it with a student's eye, if you will.

So, we're going back to the close engineering school, some time in the next couple months. Over the summer, there's a school in the Northeast that he's interested in that he'll visit. I'm sure there will be others, we just haven't fleshed out a schedule yet.

Since this is kid #4, we've done this before--although, not in the South, and not for engineering schools. DS16 currently is taking calculus at the local university, which gives him a feel for campus life (hey, look--a Starbucks!).

Specific advice: have a list of questions (you don't have to ask them all, but listen for answers during the tour). Don't get blinded by fancy amenities. Eat in the dining room to try "regular" food. Try to find out what they're NOT telling you--at one of the college tours I went on with my oldest, a woman asked a question. I didn't hear it, but the student looked nervous and said, "We're not supposed to talk about that." So, I sidled up to the woman and asked, "What did you ask her?" She said, "What do you kids do to have fun?" It was kind of a "Stepford College", if you will--it looked almost TOO perfect, and I think they were trying to downplay how much drinking took place on campus.

In addition, think about the living situation that your child would be most comfortable in. DD19 lives in an apartment currently--a good choice for her, she loves to bake. Her dorm DID have a kitchen, shared by 100 or so students. Her former roommate felt more at home in the LGBTQ dorm. Some colleges have specialty housing--my oldest lived in an "education" building, all future teachers. That particular school had a wide variety of specialty housing. Most schools have honors dorms and substance-free dorms (or at least floors). Urban campuses have a very different feel from rural, contained campus (UMASS is huge, but surrounded by cornfields--you're not going anywhere without a vehicle).